Not a Captain of any type of Ravioli I think

Art is to make you think, mine is to make you wonder

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

Does anyone know a wizard with cheaper prices? The guy I just talked to said 160 bucks a spell is pretty usual, but that can't be right.

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

CBD is just diet weed

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

You must not know me, because I absolutely would download a car.

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

GUYS OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

Ice pac or 2cube (otherwise known as ^2)?

You're not even considering biggie Wayne, or lil smalls, but id have to choose ice pac

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

i thought pressing the button would like explode the evil ravioli or something you made my day man <3

You made my day, too :) 🙏✌️🤙♥️

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

Me… me when… ur butt🙁😔

What? No?!? 😟

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

i pressed the button >:]

Congratulations, you are one of the lucky few who have done so. Your next challenge is to change one small thing in your life, become more than you were yesterday, take that chance you haven't been willing to take. Listen to a new song, try a new sweetener in your coffee. Set your alarm clock to one minute earlier than usual, tell someone you love them. You may find a new joy in life, or find nothing to have changed at all. You have nothing to lose, yet everything to gain. It's your call. You've proven you can change more than you thought, as you've changed the course of my day. Smile for the sake of smiling, dear friend, and thank you for reaching out. :)

With much love and appreciation,

-NotACaptainOfAnyTypeOfRavioli <3

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

Saying "A trip down mammary lane" is objectively funnier and classier than saying "titty fuck" and I will be using this term for the rest of my life. Mostly as a course in intercourse discourse, of course.

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

I remember when COVID was still just a Wuhan virus

They grow up so fast 🥲

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

"Maybe the dark is from your eyes.

You know, you got such dark eyes.

Maybe you had too much too fast.

Or just over-played your part."

-Shakedown Street, The Grateful Dead

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

Not to be insensitive, but how do you lose a turtle?

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

I'm boutta crash out. Uncle Grandpa is a gem, and it's WAY BETTER than Monster High. Monster High acts like is not lame and weird as hell. Uncle Grandpa WANTS to be lame weirdness, not like bad weirdness either. Uncle Grandpa is about LIVING, it's about the FIGHT. Uncle Grandpa is a statement FOR THE PEOPLE. Uncle Grandpa is a COUNTER to counter culture. It's ICE CREAM in a world of lame ass ice. Its a glass of koolaid that exists in this FUCKING HELL. Uncle Grandpa is a MILESTONE for humanity. We PEAKED with Uncle Grandpa. He's everyones uncle AND grandpa. He wants nothing but GOOD FOR THE PEOPLE. GIVE US UNCLE GRANDPA, WE WANT UNCLE GRANDPA! GOOD MORNING! GOOD MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS! GOOD MORNING!

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

If you jack off Einstein, is that a stroke of genius?

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

I was just told that I sound like annoying orange, and I've never been more disappointed

[notacaptainofanytypeofravioli]

Not to be political or nothing, but I don't think people should be drinking olive oil