Hydra !!! @notamatterofif - Tumblr Blog

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

well, I certainly don’t have anything else to do at current, why not?

[they reach into their pocket and produce a very small bluejay. she’s been in there the whole time apparently.]

Say hi, J!

[she chirps]

[she blinked, surprised]

you- keep your bird, in your pocket? that's- wouldn't that limit its oxygen?

[she squints, not sure if she's supposed to reply]

how did it even fit in there?

it’s a big pocket. she usually sits on my shoulder when i bring her places, but she told me she wanted t’nap.

she’s little, ain’t ya, J?

[she chirps in response again.]

she told you? what, she speaks english or do you speak bird? either way the concept is quite fascinating.

[she smirked in mild amusement]

neither i s’pose. she’s just very vocal about her opinions. she chirps ‘bout everythin’, it’s just up t’me to figure out what it is she’s sayin’.

[they shrug, like this makes total sense.]

her opinions- right, okay. that does seem like a lot of work, though. besides, what if you get it wrong?

oh, i’d know. watch this.

[they move to put her back in their pocket and she lets out a series of aggressive chirps, all while biting at their hand. then, they lift her up to set her on their shoulder and she happily chirps once before stepping onto their shoulder.]

it’s hard t’ miss what she’s saying.

well yes, but I’d argue the reaction was merely a reaction to being placed in a distressing circumstance.

[she sighs, glancing at the bird on their shoulder]

I suppose if you finding her under a month old explains the attachment. Most would have ‘left the nest’ y’know?

i mean, sure, but she was fine with the pocket a few minutes ago. she also has that reaction to a lotta things. making food and not sharing it with her, lumber not saying hi to her when she enters a room, movies she doesn’t like, i could go on.

yeah. i was originally plannin’ on releasing her, but she’s only got one working wing.

that sounds- quite hard to manage, i suppose it would be a lot like caring for a child.

one working wing? have you not attempted to ammend the other?

yup. she’s a handful!

[junior squawks at that before biting at their hand.]

which ain’t a bad thing! Starlight, J.

and sure, but the whole thing just doesn’t work. it’s been like that since before i found her, but runnin’ into my window a few days after didnt help.

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

well, I certainly don’t have anything else to do at current, why not?

[they reach into their pocket and produce a very small bluejay. she’s been in there the whole time apparently.]

Say hi, J!

[she chirps]

[she blinked, surprised]

you- keep your bird, in your pocket? that's- wouldn't that limit its oxygen?

[she squints, not sure if she's supposed to reply]

how did it even fit in there?

it’s a big pocket. she usually sits on my shoulder when i bring her places, but she told me she wanted t’nap.

she’s little, ain’t ya, J?

[she chirps in response again.]

she told you? what, she speaks english or do you speak bird? either way the concept is quite fascinating.

[she smirked in mild amusement]

neither i s’pose. she’s just very vocal about her opinions. she chirps ‘bout everythin’, it’s just up t’me to figure out what it is she’s sayin’.

[they shrug, like this makes total sense.]

her opinions- right, okay. that does seem like a lot of work, though. besides, what if you get it wrong?

oh, i’d know. watch this.

it’s hard t’ miss what she’s saying.

well yes, but I’d argue the reaction was merely a reaction to being placed in a distressing circumstance.

[she sighs, glancing at the bird on their shoulder]

I suppose if you finding her under a month old explains the attachment. Most would have ‘left the nest’ y’know?

yeah. i was originally plannin’ on releasing her, but she’s only got one working wing.

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

well, I certainly don’t have anything else to do at current, why not?

[they reach into their pocket and produce a very small bluejay. she’s been in there the whole time apparently.]

Say hi, J!

[she chirps]

[she blinked, surprised]

you- keep your bird, in your pocket? that's- wouldn't that limit its oxygen?

[she squints, not sure if she's supposed to reply]

how did it even fit in there?

it’s a big pocket. she usually sits on my shoulder when i bring her places, but she told me she wanted t’nap.

she’s little, ain’t ya, J?

[she chirps in response again.]

she told you? what, she speaks english or do you speak bird? either way the concept is quite fascinating.

[she smirked in mild amusement]

neither i s’pose. she’s just very vocal about her opinions. she chirps ‘bout everythin’, it’s just up t’me to figure out what it is she’s sayin’.

[they shrug, like this makes total sense.]

her opinions- right, okay. that does seem like a lot of work, though. besides, what if you get it wrong?

oh, i’d know. watch this.

it’s hard t’ miss what she’s saying.

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

well, I certainly don’t have anything else to do at current, why not?

[they reach into their pocket and produce a very small bluejay. she’s been in there the whole time apparently.]

Say hi, J!

[she chirps]

[she blinked, surprised]

you- keep your bird, in your pocket? that's- wouldn't that limit its oxygen?

[she squints, not sure if she's supposed to reply]

how did it even fit in there?

it’s a big pocket. she usually sits on my shoulder when i bring her places, but she told me she wanted t’nap.

she’s little, ain’t ya, J?

[she chirps in response again.]

she told you? what, she speaks english or do you speak bird? either way the concept is quite fascinating.

[she smirked in mild amusement]

neither i s’pose. she’s just very vocal about her opinions. she chirps ‘bout everythin’, it’s just up t’me to figure out what it is she’s sayin’.

[they shrug, like this makes total sense.]

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

well, I certainly don’t have anything else to do at current, why not?

[they reach into their pocket and produce a very small bluejay. she’s been in there the whole time apparently.]

Say hi, J!

[she chirps]

[she blinked, surprised]

you- keep your bird, in your pocket? that's- wouldn't that limit its oxygen?

[she squints, not sure if she's supposed to reply]

how did it even fit in there?

it’s a big pocket. she usually sits on my shoulder when i bring her places, but she told me she wanted t’nap.

she’s little, ain’t ya, J?

[she chirps in response again.]

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

well, I certainly don’t have anything else to do at current, why not?

[they reach into their pocket and produce a very small bluejay. she’s been in there the whole time apparently.]

Say hi, J!

[she chirps]

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

hm, I suppose that’s a reasonable guess.

‘a big personality’ right, whatever you say. thinking about it, I can’t say I have. I’ve got enough trouble from one bird, which is more than I need.

[their eyes light up]

d’you wanna meet her???

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

wouldn’t that make her birthday in may then?

I suppose you could be doing far worse with your time, but still, a party for a bird.

give ‘er take. i’m guessin’ she was born around the first few days of june.

i dunno why this is so confusin’ to you. she’s got a real big personality, she’s basically one of us. have you ever met her?

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

she’s also a bird. how do you even know when her birthday is?

well she seemed t’be like a month old when i found her, and i found her in june of last year!

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

why are you throwing a party for a bird?

’cause she’s my daughter!

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

ME ME ME ME ME ME I DO ME ME ME

OKAY. GOOD. what do we think the theme should be.

homelander?

…does junior like homelander?

no clue

okay…well…let’s put a pin in the homelander theme for now, then. what else you got?

uh . . . I'm not sure actually. Didn't she like Wall-e?

oh! yeah! she does…we could do that!

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

ME ME ME ME ME ME I DO ME ME ME

OKAY. GOOD. what do we think the theme should be.

homelander?

…does junior like homelander?

no clue

okay…well…let’s put a pin in the homelander theme for now, then. what else you got?

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

ME ME ME ME ME ME I DO ME ME ME

OKAY. GOOD. what do we think the theme should be.

homelander?

…does junior like homelander?

it’s almost junior’s birthday which means i gotta get to planning. please lmk if you wanna help with her birthday party :)

ME ME ME ME ME ME I DO ME ME ME