𝓛𝓮𝓷𝓮 @notesbyluna - Tumblr Blog

You're my adrenaline rush,

Making all my dopamine levels crash

Trouble never feels so god damn fine

'Til I found you just in time

It's too risky to bet on you,

But I wish I meant more to you

I was never insane

Except when I felt that flame

I've been hiding this for long,

But I guess I'm not that strong

Cause when it comes to you

I see blues in all hue

We never really said it tho,

Your eyes tell you're feeling it too

Or maybe I'm just being delirious

And for you it was never serious

So I wanted to ask in dim

Dear heart, why him?

*photo not mine

I am that person that requires a time alone to reasses all my decisions and thoughts about life. I can't keep up with the fast waves of life, because if I would, I might lost myself in the voyage. I prefer to take things slowly and surely, because only then I can be myself. I am afraid to be lost. I am afraid to be abandoned. And that left me with doubts and uncertainties.

It is not easy to be me. It is not easy to live up to everyone's expectations. Everyday, I poured myself to the hope that someday, I will be enough and that someday I could finally reached my dream. But still, despite all the passion and fire within me, my heart still trembles when the pressure of life came upon me. You see, sometimes I can be this vulnerable. It's not always yellow and brightness because it's more than that if you'll seek deeper.

Life had taught me the hard way and I still don't get it. I'm still a work in progress but at least I'm trying.

I should come to my senses

What tf am I doing?

quotemadness

“People do not hurt us, our hopes from them hurt us.”

— Imam Ali

They say that time heals all wounds, but the wound in your heart doesn't, I guess. I tried to find all the cure for it but found nothing. I tried to cry, I tried to laugh, I tried to forget, but nothing seems to work. Maybe pain gets bearable in time, but it will remain within you forever. It's like a scar that you can never get rid off. You can cover it, but you know that it's still there. And sometimes, it would hurt a little. You'll remember how'd you get it and you'll be left with regrets. It's frustrating that you can't do anything about it. Regrets, it would always get in my head until it shatters me in pieces. I envy those who find the courage to forget everything and just go on with their life. I may act strong on the outside but I fell mushy on the inside. It feels like there's something inside me that have rotted or maybe a part of me have already died. I don't know if I would be able to get rid off this scar or I'll just live with it in my whole life, but I hope that I can muster up enough courage to find the peace within me again. I really hope so.

#poems on tumblr

After a long time, I've finally found the courage to trust someone again. I've been very cautious before diving into it. I always remind myself that I should know my worth and that I shouldn't settle for anything less. But love, really, is a dangerous game. No matter how much we remind ourselves to be cautious, at the end of the day, we still become unconsciously fragile and vulnerable because of love. Maybe I haven't take much caution. Or maybe I've been warned, but I chose to ignore it because I felt happy again. And because of that, I'm paying the price now, by being miserable. It's wonderful how love can make us feel that unmeasurable amount of happiness and hope. As long as I'm with you, it feels like I could do everything. But it's also terrifying how deeply it will sank our hearts. So deep that you'll never know if you'll be able come up again. Maybe I was wrong for letting you in. Maybe I was wrong for trusting you. At the end, you only left me with regrets. I should've never opened my heart again.