🤎

alina, 29, uk

[bugshroom]

penis empathy

[notgoodatparties]

Missing your posts Alina! Hope all is well, update us when you can :o)

this is so sweet and ahhhh sorry i’ve been pretty busy lately! happy to update you <3

late may & june have been good - i went to field day festival alone, fucked a turkish vet (i’m casually dating for fun now), went on some other dates, saw joost klein which was SO FUCKING FUN, spent time with my best friend and her family, went to birmingham for work, spent time with my dad & his wife, saw basement jaxx, just got back from a fairly spontaneous trip to london to fuck a different turkish guy (🇹🇷🫶) who i think is the hottest man i’ve ever seen in my life and who is a massive fucking yearner who gave me a ring and made menemen for me, tomorrow is my best friend’s birthday so i’m back in london again to take her to the aquarium and to grasso for dinner, will probably also drop in to see my turkish yearner at his workplace and fluster him for fun… i’m having a pretty good time rn

[nineinchmales]

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

[notgoodatparties]

You’re so cool. It inspires me. You should be proud of yourself. Would love to hear some of your stories :)

oh my god I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!! 🤎🤎🤎

[notgoodatparties]

as someone historically very sensible and risk-averse honestly some of my recent behaviour should be studied. you know what though. it’s all so fun and exciting. i am much more outgoing, sociable and confident than i thought i was. i genuinely feel like i lost myself for so many years. now i’m saying yes to opportunities and doing things and meeting people and they’re recognising the person i actually am and lapping it up. it feels fucking excellent

[heavensghost]

Try imagining a place where it’s always safe and warm

[souvenirs]

[spitfaggot]

happy birthday, gilbert baker. (june 2, 1951 — march 31, 2017)

[clemmington]

[ID: an eight-stripe-rainbow queer pride flag, with each stripe labeled with what the color represents here: pink for sex, red for life, orange for healing, yellow for sunlight, green for nature, light blue or possibly teal for magic, deep blue for serenity, purple for spirit /end ID]

[notgoodatparties]

feeling ginger as fuck lately

[notgoodatparties]

I broke up with my fiancé at the start of last year. We’d been together for 8 years, and I really did think he’d be the one :( I’ve been so scared to date because I’m so terrified of intimacy with someone who isn’t him, like I just feel guilty but also sick at the thought of it - but if I carry on this way, I think it’ll get harder and I’ll become Miss Havisham (wedding dress and all). Do you have any tips on overcoming this fear/guilt? Xx

i’m sorry to hear that 🤎 the dating/intimacy fear is totally valid and you shouldn’t feel as if you have to force yourself if you’re not ready. i completely understand the guilt but you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about and you’re not doing anything wrong by moving on. i know first hand when you’ve been with the same person for the best part of a decade the thought of being with someone else is baffling. if this is something you genuinely do want to explore at the moment then the easiest way to meet people is probably through the dating apps but obviously it’s a minefield for multiple reasons. you could start out with the intention of *just talking* to some new people and seeking some sort of connection that way, and see what happens - you don’t have to commit to anything or have a specific agenda. realistically you are probably going to continue feeling weird and guilty until you feel able to put yourself first and that’s ok, it might take some more time. like i say though, don’t rush into anything or push yourself to take steps you’re not comfortable with. sending love x

[notgoodatparties]

i have some extremely lovely messages in my inbox that i have read and will respond to soon, thank you if you’re one of the people who has sent one, as usual i don’t have the words to express how much your kindness means to me <3

my situation remains weird and slow and frustrating but eventually i will get there. i went to a festival in london on my own on saturday which was interesting, i did wish i had some company but i did a lot of people watching and saw one of my favourite absolutely stupid DJs so that was cool. the weather was not cool, and it was very unlike me to tolerate being out in 30C, in the sun all day. if you’d told me a year ago i would have been to london alone 10+ times by now and gone to a festival by myself i would have laughed in your face. there you go i guess…

i hate having a frontal lobe because some really funny stuff is going on rn and i want to overshare but also don’t. so far this has been a year of veritable debauchery for me to say the least. i am doing things purely for myself for pretty much the first time ever and rediscovering myself. the unhinged and chronically wheeze-laughing maniac i was before i was ransacked with depression is back and it’s great. i make myself and quite a lot of other people laugh and it feels excellent. i’m saying yes to opportunities and a lot of them are absurd and somewhat outrageous. i am collecting anecdotes. anyway, as you were x

[notgoodatparties]

what are your top fav vegetables and why?

great question, i love tenderstem broccoli because it tastes good and has a nice munchy texture, asparagus for similar reasons, cavolo nero kale because i like the chew and the strong taste, brussels sprouts because they are soooo delicious caramelised in butter and criminally underrated, i also love petits pois because they’re sweet and filling and satisfying to eat. i just love green veg in general… what about you?

[notgoodatparties]

what are you eating during this heat wave? i never really feel hungry when it's this hot but not eating makes me feel worse. I will have a salad for lunch and then for dinner maybe some oven pizzas to avoid cooking. I have ingredients for spaghetti but standing over the hob... not sure! Putting the oven on seems easier even though it does heat up. 'picky bits' is an option but I feel it's been overdone recently... lol

yeah this heat really fucks up my appetite and desire to prepare food, standing over the hob is the worst! air fryers are pretty handy, i had chicken burgers the past couple of nights and this evening made chicken caesar salad, managed not to have the oven or hob on, just the air fryer. it cools down here a bit tomorrow, praying it does for you soon too

[notgoodatparties]

having a pretty good time with my skin lately

[notgoodatparties]

If u could go back and talk to your 18 year old self would you? why or why not? if yes - what would you say?

interesting question… not sure. i still feel like i am her lol. if i did i guess the main thing i would say is you’re allowed to not take yourself and your life so seriously all the time, and the eccentric freak in you will never die, you’ll get back to yourself eventually

[godstiel]

i love ibuprofen its like Lol.. im not feeling that

[hollanderthoughts]

It’s literally like…… help!! lol. help me!!!! haha.

[selfundiagnosed]