alone in blue sunset

sometimes shit happens, sometimes i care sometimes i don't.

[nothingineverything]

i’m done

hi, i’m done finding the one. I haven’t found him i just give up, lol. I am partially to be blame for this “undiscovery” because i don’t really go out and i’m kinda scared of new people and i really thought the if i wait long enough he will stumble upon me and we will both sweep each other’s feet. I happen to learn that love in movies doesn’t happen in real life as you want it. Me thinking i’m a main character is complete BS, but being entitled that i can call myself. I have no point in this post i just want to have a reminder someday on when i gave up on finding the one and if ever i find him after i post this then i’ll be gladly accept my mistake lol. why do writers in book and kdramas make men in their story so desirable that expected it for myself that is wrong advertising, sadly, i still choose to be acquainted with this characters than taking an effort to meet and judge real people on how red their flag is. adios mi amigos. see yah

[nothingineverything]

Do i look lonely because I'm alone?

[nothingineverything]

Stuck in this faraway castle waiting for a prince to pick me up and bring me to the ball ☄️

[nothingineverything]

Everyday of this f***ing working days i wish i will suddenly die, and thisaybe the proof that i really do not enjoy this job. Life has to be fun. But no job means no 💰.

[nothingineverything]

I need treatment but i also need money and i need money for a treatment but i don't have enough money to have it. Damn this is why we turn mad, isn't it?

[nothingineverything]

S.O.B. huh?

I watched a medical skit on yt and they state the meaning of S.O.B for their field but i don't get the misunderstanding until i figure S.O.B means son of a b*tch... i mean if you are a child of a very caring and protective mother albeit a dog (dogs are super cute btw) shouldn't you be proud? Lol old people

[nothingineverything]

I think I'm losing my faith but i don't want to say it out loud because I'm scared that God will smite me or something if he knows but He is God so he might know already, but i hope he doesn't so i won't suffer and I'm not really that important anyway so maybe He's like no not worth anything

[nothingineverything]

Let's melt and disappear

[nothingineverything]

when I was young my mom always scold me when i mumble and i understand it now, because people who knows me well know that my hearing is not very good and when people mumble I feel like they are talking to me but i can’t understand it and i am forced to ask them again what it is and they mumble again, an endless cycle or they mumble by themselves and I don't know if they are talking to me or to their selves. i just really want to let this out because I'm very irritated now.

[nothingineverything]

I just notice that tv personalities’ heart to heart talks always contain the  conversation about wanting to be themselves, be free and be able to dictate their lives like normal people, and I'm here a super normal person willing to have their scheduled day and organized lives because I'm all over the place. I don’t know how to make my own path and I just want to have one. I'm not hating on them for this but you know it’s nice that somebody wants the life I have cause sometimes I don’t. still thankful for existing. thank you universe. 

[nothingineverything]

I’m always finding myself creating opinions based on the opinions of what i read online… this is getting out of hand.

[nothingineverything]

Should i love myself less to allow someone to love me?

[ilhoonftw]

one of wildest pieces of btob trivia is how sungjae got his role in school 2015 because he got mad during the audition. he introduced himself as btob yook sungjae and mentioned they recently released the song beep. the director went basically 'btob? beep? never heard of it'. hearing that sungjae got irritated, his ears went red and he replied 'well, we are working hard and trying our best, i think you went too far'. sungjae went home thinking his acting career is over and done, he shouldn't have lost his temper in front of all those people. the twist is... not only the director knew btob, and did it just to get a reaction from him, but also quite liked how sungjae got mad and decided to give him the role. surprisingly, sungjae's character became one of the main reasons people tuned in for school 2015. at the same time he went on masked singer, it was still a new show then and sungjae's appearance as sub-sub vocal blew up beyond expectations. it made people finally pay attention to btob. 2015 became the year their efforts finally paid off, they hit 1 on melon and had their first music show win. to think its partially thanks to some drama director who said 'btob nugus' and sungjae's getting hot under the collar the moment someone disrespected his hyungs

[riversonfire]

210604 btobpeniel IG update: Here you go~

💙

여기요~

[nothingineverything]

I still don't want to be here. Take me out. Let me go. I just need to feel in control. My mind is searching for things that could have been. I could be there breathing that air of freedom and confusion, learning to stay alive while enjoying my life. I don't want to be here, take me out of here.

[nothingineverything]

Trying to peg vintage

[sakurasou]

“I have a friend whom I’ve known for a long time. But I started to like her. If I tell her how I feel, things might get a little awkward. But if I don’t confess this time, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life…”

[nothingineverything]

Real life situations that you can only see in kdramas coz you are not luck enough