"...de mis sueños"

Flaws of attraction

[novancaina]

The hardest part of getting over you is wanting to...

[novancaina]

Before I knew mercury retrograde, satan’s hour, and the feeling of losing and missing someone forever..

[novancaina]

There were moments when you were speaking, when it felt like I was free falling, and I had nowhere to land, other than into your words. And they caught me, covered me, and carried me until your conversation stopped. And then I opened my eyes and looked at you. I saw no limits to just how far I would go for this passion. And my reality was paralyzing, as I was left motionless from fear and excitement.

[novancaina]

Monsieur misérable mystère

[novancaina]

E for Effort

There was not a day where heartbreak was not the theme for Emilio, for heartbreak seemed to follow him like shadows in the night. But still he rose, every morning, with an outlook that would’ve manifested happiness for most others. Fool’s gold, he called it because his smiling eyes brightened the days of those around him. But only those with an empathic nature could see the truth behind his guise. Even then, no one knew of his constant struggle and the inner turmoil that suffocated his psyche. Nor would they understand how or why it consumed him. He knew this. So, he never talked about it. He’d known early in his development that something about him was different from others. So he’d grown to know loneliness at an intimate level. It was his imaginary friend as a toddler and even now as an adult, and the only ‘one’ that could relate with him and would never leave his side.

[novancaina]

Why do I disappear? Because I feel like I deserve the pain and not you.

[novancaina]

Why do I stare? Because looking at you.. numbs the pain.

[novancaina]

What if I told you that you saved me last night?

Would that change the dynamic of our relationship?

What if I told you that you could keep on saving me?

Would you want to?

Or would it scare you?

What if I told you that you scare me?

And how I feel about you scares me because you have my happiness in your control?

Would you pull me close and tell me that I never have to be scared again?

Or would you disappear?

Or both?

Or would you not say a word, and stay here with me forever?

[novancaina]

Lovers’ Leap

Let’s sign this series of stones,

then jump off of their peak together.

With intentions to fall in love the way angels do;

shedding our earthly bodies and flying together forever, for eternity*.

*If there’s no heaven, let us love one another to death, holding hands along the way.

[novancaina]

I am constantly reminded of my imperfections. It is a such a tough pill to swallow. “You’re a perfectionist, but it overshadows your potential.” I am constantly missing deadlines. I am constantly faking happiness. I am constantly seeking self validation from the critiscims of “experts”. I am constantly fighting internal battles that question the point of it all. Everything appears to be a mess. A continuum of messes that don’t seem real. My reality wavers between the extreme outliers of eternal sadness and temporary satiation.

A barrage of questions: What’s left to achieve? Was there really ever anything to achieve?

Retorts of lonlieness: I wasn’t supposed to be here anyway. I wish I wasn’t.

Then I disappear: I guess I’ve become so good at ghosting, because I’ve longed for the ability to just disappear from everything. “Groundhog,” my uncle used to call me. He said it’s because I would just randomly pop up without alert and then disappear.

[novancaina]

Let’s be alone together, forever

[novancaina]

恋に落ちないで

[novancaina]

“Just because I danced around the truth doesn’t mean that I lied”

If you can read into a situation early on, don’t shift your energy if the moment doesn’t feel right. Stay true to your intuition until proven otherwise. Everything happens (and doesn’t) for a reason.

[novancaina]

“Donna.. you could be great”

[thoselovelythings]

[vanish-cherry-deactivated202509]

cold coffee on a rainy morning. IG: idiotcactus

[godsofhumanity]

Persephone: How do you want to have your coffee?

Hades: As dark and black as my soul.

Persephone: So, one white chocolate mocha then.