me, my mouth full of tic-tacs: fuck off (sound of tic-tacs scattering on the floor)

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@noveltynerd
me, my mouth full of tic-tacs: fuck off (sound of tic-tacs scattering on the floor)
instead of Friends they should’ve called it Friends & Ross
every conflict the Friends had to face was directly the cause of Ross
just saw an episode where chandler was trying to give joey money since he was struggling financially but joey was too proud to take it so chandler made up a gambling game where joey always won so chandler could give him money without him knowing. perfect example of two great Friends. then joey, confident with his skills in the game, goes to ross to play with him and loses it all to ross. joey tells chandler and he goes to ross and explains the situation and how the game was fake and asks for his money back but ross wouldn’t give it back. just one of the many examples of ross being a worthless piece of shit
I just watched the episode where Rachel hires a male nanny, Sandy, who is perfectly qualified and experienced. All of the friends love him including Joey who says that he is ‘learning so much’ from him. Except of course Ross who is a dick to Sandy the entire episode just because Ross doesn’t think being a nanny is a man’s job. Ross even went as far as to ask if he was gay in the job interview which I’m pretty sure is a big no-no. Ross eventually ends up firing Sandy purely because he’s a man in a female dominated job and because he thinks is too sensitive which is hilarious because the only sensitive one here is Ross and his fragile masculinity.
What about the one where Ross gets upset because his two year old son wants to play with a Barbie? He spends the entire episode trying to convince him that G.I. Joe is better.
How about the part where Rachel got a dream job in Paris, and fuckboy Ross who had treated Rachel like shit in the past, decided to try and win her back at the airport when he should have just let her go to her dream job.
I watched an episode where Ross and Rachel got trashed in Vegas and then went to the chapel and got married. When they came to Ross wouldn’t get an annulment because he didn’t want to be known as the guy who gets divorced. He is kind of awful.
KEEP THIS THREAD GOIN KIDS DRAG THAT FUCKER
Or the one where Ross yells at Rachel for dating Elizabeth’s dad because it’s “weird” for him but had no problem going out with Rachel’s sister, Jill, when Rachel had an issue with it.
Or how about the one where Rachel is having the time of her life at a job she loves, but insecure douche canoe Ross has a problem that she’s working with another man, and gives Rachel such a hard time about it, she decides she needs a break from their relationship
The show Friends actually invented the term ‘friendzone’ to describe Ross’ inability to show Rachel that he wanted to be with her (back at the start).
I fucking hate Ross so much
Remember when he cheated on Rachel and refused to say he was sorry about it because “it was Rachel’s fault, she wanted a break”? Ross is just a disgusting dickwad.
Ross, the original fucking fuckboy.
Do not jingle their bell without their permission!
“This has to stop Karen! Im putting my paw down!”
I love how the cat begins to show more and more emphasis
It’s the only day to post this so I gotta
The coolest bumblebee ever.
omg unmute, it’s so innocent
camera person: “wave” bee: *raises arm* camera person: “yaaaay, what’s up mr. bumblebee?”
This taxidermy was found inside a late 19th-century French mansion which has been sealed up for more than 100 years. Via National Geographic.
Good to know people were just as fucking weird before the internet.
ancient frog memes
et tu, dat boi?
Well, I have a new favourite poet.
send this to your crush with no context
Person: Wow, why are you all dressed up just for going to the grocery store?
Me:
You: willy nilly Me, an intellectual: william nilliam
Obama returns back to the ocean, not because his job in finished, but simply because he is out of time.
As a wave succumbs him back to the depths, Obama takes a final glimpse at the citizens whom he had once truly loved.
WATCH THIS
I just went from having 0 feelings either negative or positive about Taylor Lautner and after watching this and with no other knowledge of him as a person I fully believe that he is a gift to humanity if for nothing other than this single contribution.
I… I want Taylor Lautner… to be friends with me.
me, the entire day: oh my god i’m so tired, i can’t wait to go to back to sleep
me, at 3 AM:
tonight’s aesthetic: Cookie Monster philosophizing in an art museum
This just changed my life.
The lasagne one has opened my eyes
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.
When will my curly haired dream boy come save me from apathy