[nurseofren]

Hurting recently because the mother I was born to isn’t worth knowing and the mother worth knowing (my boyfriend’s mom) is dying of ALS right before my eyes.

[nurseofren]

I want people to stop referring to anything by “spicy” thank you good night

[importantdogimages]

[iknewyouweretroubletv]

20 years 🥹

[depsidase]

[nurseofren]

Every day I’m reminded that she said it with the sole intention of hurting me and making me feel small.

[thememedaddy]

[certified-piss-posts]

Certified piss post

[nurseofren]

Really sad today bc I realized vampires can’t get gel nails bc the UV light would burn them

[nurseofren]

God the way the Pitt really knew how to portray someone who just didn’t want to be “here” anymore. Because that’s exactly how I felt, the way that last monologue made me feel, when I wanted to end things.

[violet-hellfire]

my second knit project is blocking >:)))

[violet-hellfire]

forgot to post her

[nurseofren]

I thought my whole adolescent life that I wanted this big wild love that broke both hearts involved. I think I needed to know someone felt the pain I was feeling during that time. I have a love, now, that takes my pain and hurt and fortifies me against it, lets me know that that pain is real but it’s not worth drowning for.

[64mpg]

someone else has what i want #notfair

[flutterbvnny]

getting really into sighing and pouting lately

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Hannah Montana’s Closet for the 20th Anniversary Special

[vamplire]

a human stroking the vampire’s hair while the vampire is fangs deep in their neck. u agree

[970317980622]

[phone rings at any time of day]

me: what maniac would call me right now

[nurseofren]

What I’m struggling/having the most difficulty with regarding my parents is that I have known this was an outcome for a long, long time. I never really thought it would come to this. I thought I’d always have my mom and dad to dread about when it came to big life events/maybe one day having children and how they would insert themselves and cause me grief. Silently I know I’ve had the thought that my life would be the easiest without their involvement whatsoever.

Now that I am no contact, even though I never intended that, I feel my hand was forced (I… am not sad about that part, I feel lucky that this fell into my lap), I’m confronted with the fact that I always thought I’d have to deal with them forever. I never thought I’d not have a relationship with them.

So I’m in a state of grief and relief I never considered was possible. I feel embarrassed and shameful and entirely unwanted on one hand, but also I feel a general sense that the boot has been lifted from my throat.