okay im turning on a hockey game when does the gay sex start
that’s the great part. you get to close your eyes and imagine it for yourself
we're not kids anymore.
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okay im turning on a hockey game when does the gay sex start
that’s the great part. you get to close your eyes and imagine it for yourself
Alt covers of Gideon, Harrow, and Nona the ninth from illumicrate, along with a letter from the author!!
Transcript of the letter below the cut.
Dear Illumicrate Reader,
Hello. It’s me, Tamsyn Muir. This box contains, among other things, a copy of my novel Nona the Ninth. It’s yours now. I don’t want it back.
Your next move will probably depend a little bit on whether you’ve read either of the previous novels in the series, Gideon the Ninth (which is about how a jock and nerd can never be friends) and Harrow the Ninth (which is about being a kid and suddenly realizing that your parents probably had sex.)
If you haven’t read either of those books, I’m going to level with you: you may want to try to read one of them first. I know, I know, but Nona the Ninth is the third book in a four-book set and the four books are basically telling one very long and complicated story. If you start with Nona you’re coming in at the one-hour mark in a two-hour movie. Nona is very different to the previous two books—it takes place somewhere we’ve never been before, and many of the characters, including the protagonist, are people we’ve never really met—but there is lots of stuff that is designed to make the reader go “Oh no, it’s her again!!” and that probably won’t work so well if you have no idea who she is.
If you have read either, or (worst case) both, of the other two books, you know damn well what you're getting into. There will be swords. There will be bones. People will be doing upsetting things with the bones. Ianthe will be there, somewhere.
All I will say is that Nona the Ninth was originally the first act of a different book. The last book in the Locked Tomb series, Alecto the Ninth, originally began with the story of Nona. Fore reasons practical and artistic, my editor and I came to the conclusion that Nona actually needed her own book. This caused a huge amount of upheaval and made everybody’s lives worse, including mine, but I think it was the right decision; hopefully, if you read this book, you’ll end up agreeing with me.
People often talk about all the meme references in the books. They ask me when I will use modern ones. They hope they will open Nona and see a reference to the horse Plinko. Truth is, I don’t go in deliberately thinking to use memes; my sense of humour is just so warped, and I laugh and laugh at things nobody else in the universe laughs at, that my referential machine gun is loaded with some very strange ammo. There is one conversation in the book between two people trying to cope with the responsibilities that loving each other has placed on them, and the fatuousness of having a weightless love. In the original form of this conversation, one person says: “It drives me mad to think that simply by being in your life, I have added to its weight.” The second person replies: “Then you should have lived in a broom cupboard.” That’s not in the book any more because I think I took it out even before my editor could’ve, but I remember kicking my little legs up and howling at broom cupboard for hours. The broom cupboard is just such a fine and private place to be, in my mind. I don’t even know why a broom cupboard bespeaks such isolation: Is it just the place where nobody goes? After all this time I still find the idead weirdly compelling—that at the end of the day, none of us are living in the broom cupboard. Love cannot find you in the broom cupboard.
Love does find most of the people in the book, or they take it, or they try to escape it—but not even the powers of death can defeat love. There’s another meme I could’ve used. You can’t catch me, love thoughts.
GLHF,
Tamsyn Muir
they all love each other a whole lot is what I'm saying here
the fact that tater calls ransom adam and holster randy means that jack when speaking about r&h refers to them as ransom and adam which is SUCH a spitefully amicable ex thing to do. theyre insane
What if nursey is saved as “absolutely not chill” in dex’s phone
And dex is saved as “least chill ever” in nursey’s
Or something along those lines
It’s not matching on purpose and neither knows
I see your Shitty Knight face claims and raise you college Nick Miller
Ransom has pierced ears actually you just don’t see them bc they’re not relevant to Bitty’s journey (he already knows he’s gay). They’re extremely relevant to Holster’s tho
Chowder: Wow! Is all that from your mom?
Nursey: Nah, some people on tumblr sent it, lol.
Dex: So should we just add ours to the pile, or?
I think he had a pretty good birthday, y’all! Happy Valentines!
Holster was short for all of middle school and most of high school before hitting a growth spurt junior year and that is why he is Like That
let’s be really clear that if poorer people are fatter it’s not bc they eat “junk food” but because they don’t have enough consistent access to food. food insecurity leads to intermittent negative energy balance in the body, which leads to weight gain via changes in metabolic pathways and behavioral drives. and adiposity is often an adaptation of the body to stress (which poor people suffer in innumerable ways), and few things are more stressful for humans than not knowing whether or how the next meal is coming
when this post goes around i always want to add that fatness is not inherently a response to some type of adverse conditions—that’s a rly harmful medicalizing belief about bodies. the only thing fatness is inherently an indicator of is natural human body diversity! and i want to point folks to fat activist paul ernsberger’s work in which he makes the argument for the opposite causal relationship between fatness and poverty: that more important than poverty being fattening is the fact that fatness is impoverishing. the structural oppression of fat ppl, esp as it intersects w other axes of oppression, should be much more concerning to us (if human well being is actually our concern) than the fact that oppression sometimes results in higher weights.
start shipping Holster / Shitty because they’re the grossest two and they deserve each other
LardoRans: dignified, could go to an art show and not get kicked out
ShitHoltz: buy new underwear instead of using a washing machine
Was Alicia Zimmermann like one of the OG rom com girlies of the ‘80s and ‘90s or do she do some reallly shitty horror movies? Or was she like a high brow actress who has 8 Oscar noms and one win? Or maybe even a Tony winner? The answer is yes. Alicia Zimmermann had Meryl Streep sweating whenever Oscar season rolled around. But Alicia like a lot of Oscar winning actresses who picked bad scripts has a razzie award.
graduation kiss never happened au where smh gather to celebrate bitty's 30th birthday and they all get pretty drunk and chirp him for being old now, and somehow it evolves into complaining that he never let them hook him up when they were "young and crazy" back in college. and it's not that he's that drunk but it's just been so long that bitty doesn't feel self-conscious saying, "oh c'mon, y'all knew i was hung up on jack."
and ransom is like, "uhh?" and holster shouts, "WHAT" and shitty says, "um no we fucking did not" and lardo mutters something about suspecting but not knowing
and bitty raises his head and sees jack frozen, beer bottle halfway to his mouth, staring at bitty like he just shifted the ground beneath jack's feet
ollie and wicks suggest "the gays" as their year's nickname to rival "the frogs", but bitty just thinks they're making fun of him
actually shitty is the only person ever to have taken an am i gay quiz and have the answer be no
bitty: i wish i had gay friends!
lardo ransom holster chowder and nursey who have never once acted straight:
@bisexualadamparrish OLLIE AND WICKIE IM SO SORRY