HI IT’S ME AGAIN AND I’M ALMOST GRADUATING anyways does anyone know a good socmed au app for ios that is not social dummy or maker … bc ur girl is gonna change phones SLAY but like 🤥 memimessage is shit on ios idfk why … and i need at least one fake imessage app to continue everything lmfao lmk if u guys know a good one 🫰
Hi! ☺️ How are you doing these days? Is your smau still ongoing? (not trying to pressure you, just curious and i really like the smau) and what are your fav bside of minisode2? Mine is definitely opening sequence, but i love all of them!!
hi! im doing quite ok! yes the smau is still ongoing hdjsj sorry if ive been really ia 🥺 since may 9 came its been a rough month for me LOL so yes ive been working on the chapters, but the progress is awfully slow ☹️ as for my fave bsides i love all of them fr! they all have diff vibes and definitely different from their previous releases. my favorite is thursdays child has far to go tbh its really just my type,, same with lonely boy bc it just has those krnb vibes that u see in yt playlists lol. but i ofc love the rest of the bsides just as equal !! txt rly showed a diff side this time 🥺 im hoping bighit gives them like ,, a mixtape or smth? bc i just really want to hear more of their music that fits their own personal taste (yes PLEASE give us a diss track. a rap song. idc just give the other members rap verses so i can die in peace)
ANYWAYS yeah thats about it 🤕 sorry if youve been waiting for too long! ive been going through major changes in life so ive been prioritizing just that lately </3
a/n: alternative title: fanservice. /j here we gooo, finally answering the million dollar question <3 love it here. there's a reference to 15.5 in this chapter, so if u don't remember that one, consider re-reading it! hope you like it 🥰 also [redacted] and [redacted] getting LINES??? they know how to SPEAK??? must be a fever dream!
warnings: some cursing, there's a slightly hungover character but most of the hangover has already worn out ig
word count: 3.5k + sns at the end
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All in all, the Christmas gathering seems to be going well — except for the fact that Lia's hangover is still not completely over. It's funny, though, because she had to do her very best to look bubbly enough on camera while they were filming their vlogs, which was clearly a hard task. Usually she wouldn't mind showing she's not in her best state, but considering this is supposed to be a Christmas special, she refuses to look like she drank her ass off on the previous night. And though you laughed every time someone cut the camera off and she groaned and leaned on whoever was next to her, you still helped her as much as you could.
As for the stuff Beomgyu paid you to do, he wasn't lying when he said you wouldn't have to do much. You just had to take some candid pictures of them setting everything up — which ended up including your own friends too, since all of them showed up to help —, and then some nice pictures to show off the decoration. You also photographed the "Choi Gang", as they call themselves, throwing a few fun poses together, which was a whole other adventure with Lia's pitiful state and Soobin's lack of interest in being in those pictures, but in the end, you still got some nice shots. When more people arrived, you had to take pictures of them with some funny Christmas accessories in front of a cute little backdrop the boys set up at the entrance earlier, and that was it. No more work for you, just free drinks and food… And people to meet.
Your former best friend kept his word, after all, and introduced you to some people you could possibly work with one day, and that's why you're sitting with some guys from a different university right now, some of them older than you, chatting away about photography and video editing. The only familiar face in that circle is Lia, who is making an effort to be at least half as sociable as she usually is, and you're thankful for her presence. Somehow it's enough to soothe your initial nervousness, because more than a friend of yours, she's someone who knows these people and is familiar enough with the subject to be a part of the conversation.
After a few minutes, however, you can feel her head softly falling on your shoulder as her body lazily slumps down, and though the sensation makes you tense up for a moment, you soon relax when she laughs at something one of the boys you're talking to said.
It's okay, she's a friend, and all of your friends do that kind of thing, right? She's a friend. No need to freak out or push her away. You've been interacting with her often enough for her to feel comfortable around you, and that's a good sign. She's a friend. You're leaving your past differences in the past, you're gonna start the new year with a clean slate.
"Y/N?" She calls you quietly, raising her head just enough to look at your face. "You okay?"
You can tell she's trying to be discreet, and maybe she's doing it because she noticed the way you reacted, so you simply nod. There's still a group of people around you, and you wouldn't want to interrupt the conversation just to try and explain what's going through your head — because to be quite honest, you don't even know what it is, either. She nods back and lays her head on you again, and both of you keep talking to the others. It doesn't take too long for you to also feel comfortable enough to not even notice the weight of Jisu's head on you anymore.
"I think I'm gonna… go grab some water," she says when one of the boys leaves, finally straightening her posture, but her voice is so dragged out that it actually makes you laugh. She's kind of adorable, you can't deny that.
"I'll go get it for you," you offer, and she tries to tell you not to, but you're already standing up before she can get any words out. "No, no. You wait here. I'll be right back."
Unfortunately, your path to the kitchen is cut at the door when a tall figure walks into you, spilling his drink all over your clothes.
Soobin's eyes bulge out as soon as he notices what just happened, and he's quick to leave his cup on the nearest counter and look for some paper towels for you.
"Fuck, fuck, sorry, I'm really sorry, I didn't see you there." He's talking so fast he could trip over his own words. "I should've paid more attention to where I was going and–"
"Hey, it's fine," you tell him in a calm tone, following him into the kitchen, though the sensation of the cold liquid seeping through the fabric is the most uncomfortable thing on Earth right now. "It happens."
"No, no, it's just–"
"Soobin," you cut him off again and grab the paper towels he's desperately offering you. "It's okay, don't worry." Your mind even considers making a joke about how you're so much shorter than him and that's why he didn't see you, but you ultimately decide not to, because he could take it as a jab at his own height, and you know he's already not your biggest fan.
"Hey, what's going on?" A third voice appears, and Soobin's face gets even more shocked at the sight of Beomgyu walking into the kitchen.
You wanna laugh, you really do, but that'll probably get him even more nervous, so you just bite it back while you try to wipe the excess of whatever that drink is from your sweater.
"I walked into Soobin and got my clothes wet," you explain, blaming yourself, "but it's okay. Just a little cold."
Beomgyu stares at his taller friend and raises an eyebrow, sending Soobin into another whole panic fit.
"I didn't do it on purpose, I swear!"
So, of course, you step closer to the singer just to slap the back of his head.
"Ow!" Beomgyu cries out, rubbing the spot with one of his hands, but you pay no mind to his drama.
"Stop scaring him, he didn't do anything," you scold him. "Soobin, can you just get some water for Jisu, please? That's why I came to the kitchen in the first place, she's kinda dying. Don't worry about me." With a tired voice, you try to handle the situation, and Soobin is quick to nod and do as he's told — but not without apologizing once more before leaving the kitchen with a glass of water, of course.
"You okay there?" Beomgyu finally speaks again, standing in front of you to take a look at the damage. "I can lend you a sweater or something."
Fortunately, you took off your winter jacket earlier, since the heating system is on and it's not as cold inside as it is out in the city, but you're still wearing another shirt under your sweater, and the liquid has gotten through both of them and reached your skin.
Do you wanna be seen in Beomgyu's clothes by everyone there? Not really, but it's either that or enduring the cold sticky feeling the wet fabric brings.
"Yeah, uh, that– I think that's my only option." You hate it, but what else can you do? "I should clean up in the bathroom too, it got to my chest and it's cold as fuck, I don't wanna get sick."
"Okay, come on." He nods to the door and guides you through his apartment, making his way to the bedroom with you.
Taehyun sees you walking by, of course, but you just gesture to show the damp spot on your sweater as an answer to the silent question his eyes carry. You're okay, you're just… covered in some type of alcohol. There's no need for him to leave the circle of people he's talking to, you just need to clean yourself up.
Beomgyu opens the door to his room and gestures for you to go in first, so you do. Of course, he doesn't close the door, because neither of you wants anyone to get the wrong idea of what's going on there. Wouldn't it be funny to fall back into those old rumors just a day after he called you by the nickname that originated from people's theories about you and him in the first place?
Despite the fact that you've spent the night at his apartment before, this is the first time you're actually walking into his bedroom, so you curiously take a look around while he goes to his closet in search of something for you to wear.
The decoration is what you would expect from him: polaroid pictures of himself and/or his friends, posters of some of the artists he admires the most, a few books (that you suspect he has never finished) on one of the shelves, the YouTube plaques he got for reaching certain numbers of subscribers over the past few years, etc. You can see the spot where he films all of his cover videos too, right by the desk where his computer is, and the equipment he has looks a lot fancier than what you remember seeing in his old bedroom when you were still close.
What catches your attention, though, is the old mic that's set on a small tripod on top of one of his shelves, right beside some Funko Pop figures.
"Hey, I got this shirt that's kinda tight for me, you could wear it underneath since both of your shirts got wet. I just gotta find a sweater for you now," he tells you when he comes back to where you are, but your eyes are still fixed on the microphone.
"What's that?"
"Uh– A… shirt? It's super soft, you should at least try it." He raises the piece of clothing and stands in front of you again, to make you see what he's talking about, but you shake your head.
"No, that," you point to the thing you've been staring at, "is that the one I gave you?"
He steps to the side, turning around to look at it, and once realization hits him, he clears his throat and goes silent for a few seconds.
"Oh, uh… Yeah. I still have the arm too, but it looked better on a tripod up there," he explains, as if he should apologize for not having the whole thing set up, even though he has a much better microphone (and everything else) now.
When he turns to let his gaze meet your face again, you finally let your eyes fall on him as well, with your eyebrows knitted down as you take that in.
"Why'd you keep it?"
You know it's probably stupid to be overthinking about it, but you truly weren't expecting this thing to even exist anymore, let alone be used for decoration such a long time after your initial fallout. You thought he'd have thrown it away by now, or at least sold it to someone else.
An awkward laugh leaves his lips and he shrugs lightly. "I told you I loved it, remember? You're the one who refused to believe me."
Oh, God, you don't wanna remember that day right now. It's one of the last nice moments you remember having with him before everything fell apart, and at the time, you came out of it with butterflies in your stomach, which is enough to make you cringe internally just by thinking about it. The intimacy and the happiness you shared on that day are things that haunted you for a long time, and it's still something that raises questions in your head — questions you no longer think you want the answers to, but it doesn't stop them from popping up.
Still confused, you look at it once again, and you can hear Beomgyu sighing, probably because of your lack of response.
"Look, it's just– I know we weren't on good terms anymore, but that mic is important to me. I told you when you gave it to me, your support was… it meant the world to me back then," he says in a quiet tone, seemingly struggling with his words. "You were the first one to tell me that I should go for it… That I should fight for what I really wanted, and that thing up there– it represents just that. It's kind of a reminder that I shouldn't give up, you know? That there are people who believe in me, just like you did, so I should believe in myself too. And it's been working so far."
How are you supposed to react to that now? You can't explain the feeling in your chest, but it's like a strange pressure is being applied right there. Not in a painful way, just slightly uncomfortable. You stare at your friend again and tilt your head for a moment, still maintaining your puzzled expression, and still in total silence.
"I couldn't just get rid of it," he finishes his little rant and looks away from you. "Sorry if it's weird."
"No," you finally speak, "it's just– I wasn't expecting that. It's kinda…"
"Stupid?"
"I don't know. I don't think so."
He crosses his arms, with the long-sleeved shirt hanging from them, and goes back to staring at the object you're talking about.
"Would you like me to throw it away? Should I have done that?" He asks, making you side-eye him.
"Why would I like that?" Another shrug is the only response you get from him. "You'd be throwing my money away. You know, I had to save money for a while to be able to buy that." Your hand nudges his shoulder, as a sign for him to relax.
"I know, Tyun told me. He also said you spent a long time doing your research to find something that seemed good enough. I don't care about the price, but I really appreciate the effort you put into that."
"Are you saying you would've loved it just as much if I had bought you the cheapest microphone out there?" Your attempt at cracking a joke seems to be effective, considering the way he laughs shortly at you.
"Probably. It's the thought that counts, right? And we had fun that day," he says, making you scoff.
Oh yeah, so much fun with you nearly dying at how close he got to you and then his mother walking in on him practically pinning you to his bed while he tickled you mercilessly. Incredibly fun times. You enjoyed feeling as if you could explode at any second, and also the way his mom kept staring at you when you went to say goodbye before leaving.
"Yeah, okay. I should've bought something crappy then, you know? Could've spent that money on something for myself," you tease, diverting from the topic you don't wanna touch.
"Shut up," he mumbles laughingly, "you wouldn't do that."
Well, he's right, you wouldn't. Still, it's interesting to be in that situation right now, learning just how much that gift meant to him — and it still does —, because you remember how nervous you were about giving it to him back then. It's actually funny as hell to think about how you were so certain it was a dumb present and that you could've gotten him something much better, just to find out years later that he had always seen it with adoring eyes, and even given it a much bigger meaning, despite how far the two of you quickly drifted away from each other.
"Gyu," you break the silence that set in the air for a moment, now in a more gentle voice.
"Hm?" He looks at you, so you tug at his arm and pull him a little closer.
Reaching up to his face, your lips press a quick, soft kiss on his cheek. "Thanks for keeping it for so long. I'm glad you liked it so much."
The poor boy seems to be frozen for a few seconds, his eyes being the only part of his body to move at all, going from one side to the other before they focus on you again, as if he's not able to process what the hell just happened. Maybe he's glitching.
Fuck, was that too much? Things are still cloudy when it comes to your friendship with him, maybe you should've held back a little. Should you apologize? Is he feeling uncomfortable? But he kissed your forehead the last time he saw you going through an anxiety attack! Why would he hate that right now?
Your train of thought crashes against a wall when Beomgyu pulls you into a warm hug, wrapping his arms around you before you can even open your mouth to verbalize an apology. It takes you a second to react, but you reciprocate it, letting your own arms embrace his figure.
"Wait, no, my sweater–," you try to push him away when the cold sensation on your body reminds you that you're covered in whatever Soobin was drinking — and therefore the contact could get Beomgyu's clothes wet as well —, but he doesn't let you do that.
"I'm at home, I can just change my shirt too," he reasons, holding you tighter, so you just let him be.
You don't really understand why, but this hug seems to carry a lot more than some shallow gratitude over an old present. The feeling is so overwhelming you even forget about the coldness pressing against your chest, simply allowing Beomgyu to keep you in his arms for a while, because it seems to bring both of you some relief. Maybe it's a way to celebrate yet another wall being brought down, or maybe it's just the alcohol he must have drunk. Either way, it's nice in a strange way.
"What's this about?" You decide to ask.
He shakes his head and finally breaks the long hug, leaving a kiss on your forehead before he actually lets go of you.
"Sorry. I think the alcohol is making me clingy," he confirms your theory, so you chuckle.
"It happens," you reply, taking a step back. "I should really change, though. It's cold."
"Oh, the– The shirt. Here." He hands you the shirt he still has in his hands, and then he gestures to his closet. "Come here, you can pick a sweater or a hoodie… or something, I don't know."
And that's how your little moment with him comes to an end and both of you focus on the reason why you even entered his bedroom in the first place.
After cleaning yourself up in the bathroom and putting on the shirt and the dark sweater you borrowed, you go back to the living room and notice Lia's no longer talking to the boys from a few minutes ago. Instead, she's resting on Ryujin's shoulder now, which is a sight that makes you hold back a smile. You think about joining them, or maybe looking for Taehyun or Hyunjin, but Arin approaches you with a big smile before you get the chance to do either of those things.
"Y/N! Come here," she prompts you, "I want you to meet someone!"
You follow her to where a small group is, and among the three people you meet there, one of them is Hueningkai. So, of course, after introducing yourself and greeting the two strangers, you cling to your giant baby friend. Since everyone is standing, you just hold him loosely and lean against him.
"You okay, noona?" He asks quietly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders while Arin gets distracted talking to the other people in the circle. "Soobin-hyung said he spilled his drink on you, he was really panicked."
"Yeah, it was funny," you respond, chuckling a little. "But I'm okay, I think I'm just getting a little sleepy."
"If you wanna leave just let me know and I'll go with you," the youngest offers, earning a smile from you.
"Thanks, baby." You know any of your friends would be willing to leave with you if you wanted to go, but you don't wanna ruin their fun, so you're willing to endure it for a little longer. Besides, meeting new people feels surprisingly nice tonight, considering the circumstances.
Arin finally talks directly to you and mediates the conversation between everyone, telling you about how her friend's father works for a magazine, and how she's thinking about making a special "mini photoshoot" for New Year's, etc. The topics are not really connected to each other, but you can tell she's just throwing a bunch of ideas and suggestions for you to hop in, talk about what you do best and practice your networking skills, which is something you can appreciate, so you focus on that and forget about the interaction you just had with Beomgyu — at least for now, despite how aware you are of his scent on the clothes you're currently wearing.
a/n: i'm incredibly sorry for not updating for so long, i've just been struggling w this one i guess and it's been a stressful week in general lol. anyway there's a written part below to complement the chapter, consider it a little bonus to make up for the delay <3
warnings: some swearing, some hints of friendly jealousy ig, poorly proofread bc i don't have my glasses on me rn and that's giving me a headache
word count: 1.1k
playlist
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if you like this fic, please consider reblogging the chapter to help with the algorithm! 🥰
It's a little strange to be interacting with Beomgyu like that, but it feels easy at the same time. Sure, it's not like he's super close to you again, but now that some weight has been lifted off your shoulders — albeit temporarily, because you're certain your father won't stay quiet for too long —, there's more room to breathe and think and enjoy the company of those who support you.
And now that you know he wants to help you with the whole photography thing, Beomgyu's approaching the topic more directly, which is why he wants to sort of hire you, though you still think it sounds weird to put it that way. But that's what it is, he wants to pay for your work and also use it as a way to introduce you to people who might possibly hire you for their own events as well. It's not your dream path, but it's still a lot closer to it than Business school. One step at a time, right?
Of course, the conversation lasted a lot longer than it should've, mainly because both of you kept talking about other stuff, and for a moment it felt like you were just chatting with an old friend, nothing else. And it feels good to realize that, because it means all the attempts to make things right between you two might actually be working.
"Hey, Gyu," you say when you hear the bathroom door open, "I gotta go now. See you on Wednesday, yeah?"
"Sure," he replies from the other end of the call.
"Thank you again for helping me, by the way."
"Ooh, I can't hear you! I thin– going thr– tunnel!" He tries to pretend the line is breaking, despite both of you knowing he's in the comfort of his bedroom right now. And, just like that, he ends the call, making you chuckle to yourself.
When Hyunjin walks into the bedroom, there's a frown on his face, but he doesn't look directly at you. Instead, he just walks to his wardrobe so he can grab a warm sweater. Even with the heating system on, it's still too cold to be wearing light clothes.
"Why's my boy so grumpy?" You offer him a hand after he puts on the sweater, and he just stares at it for a moment.
The thing about Hyunjin is that he's very transparent, whether he likes it or not. So when he's happy, anyone can tell he's happy, but when he's not, it's also written all over his face.
He sighs and shakes his head, but still sits beside you on the bed. He puts a pillow on your legs and lies down, resting his head on your lap and crossing his arms as he stares at the ceiling.
"You smell nice," you tell him, running your fingers through his damp long hair. The typical scent of soap and shampoo softly spreads around you, bringing a cozier feeling to the room.
"Thanks," he mumbles and you bite back a smile. It's like you're dealing with a sulky toddler, and you've yet to find out what's the reason behind his pout.
"What happened, huh? Did Ryujin yell at you? Did you lose at the game you were playing?" You gently touch the bruise on his face, which is not nearly as bad as it could be, but still makes you feel guilty every time you look at it.
Instead of flinching at the sensation, he closes his eyes and lets out another frustrated sigh, taking a few seconds to think before he answers your question.
"I'm just tired. We've been practicing every day, and I'm nervous about our performance. I also have a bunch of tests coming up this week, and I'm pretty sure I'll flunk them all."
"Well, about the tests, we could study together. I know we don't take the same classes, but some silent company could help, I think. And I know you're nervous about the competition, but you really don't have a reason to be." You comb his hair back with your hand, watching as his face starts to relax. "I mean, come on, I can guarantee you it's impossible to find another Hwang Hyunjin out there. You and Ryujin are honestly the best, and everyone else on your team is extremely talented as well. The other teams can't even compare."
The compliment makes him smile a little, though he tries to hide it, much like a stubborn kid trying to keep up his moody façade because he wants to keep his pride intact. You, on the other hand, end up laughing softly when you notice the subtle tilt of his lips.
"Come on, give me a little smile," you tease, poking at his cheek. "I know you wanna."
A victorious grin is formed on your face as soon as he giggles and immediately covers his mouth with his arm in a lame attempt to go back to his pouty countenance.
"I could make us some hot chocolate, how about that? Then we can watch something together until you feel a little better," you suggest.
His eyes finally open again and he nods, looking at your face and reaching up to poke your chin.
"You know you're one of my best friends, right?" He asks unexpectedly, making your eyebrows furrow. "Like, I know I'm no Taehyun in your life, but–"
"Jinnie, don't compare yourself to Taehyun," you cut him off in a loving tone. "I know all of you have this notion that we're two halves of the same being, and I guess that's kinda true, but it doesn't mean you're not important or I love you any less. You're one of my best friends too and I'm really glad I have you by my side."
He's always there for you, and that's even clearer now. After all, he's offering you shelter — again — until you and Taehyun find a decent place, and he's still carrying a bruise on his face from when he practically saved you just a few days ago.
"Okay," he says quietly, allowing another tiny smile to tug the corners of his lips upwards.
"Where's this coming from, though?"
"It's nothing," he says with a shrug. "Things are just weird right now and the situation kinda sucks, but I want you to know that you'll always have us."
"Well, what a relief, because I'll always be there for you too," you reply with a smile and bend down to kiss his forehead. "Wanna help me in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," he agrees easily, finally starting to sound more excited, "I make the best bomb-ass hot chocolate in the world."
hi baby!!! I hope you are doing well and this weekend you get to rest and have some time for yourself, even for a little. I'm sending you many hugs!!! ilyyy
bibi! thank you so much for this <3 :( you are literally the sweetest!! love u so much!!
absolutely no one asked for this but today, i got admitted into my dream uni! i dont really like the degree i chose however bc i was just forced into it but im still very much grateful :> thanking txt my everyday reminder to not give everything up and dye
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