tags: fem!(zombie)reader, SEASON FOUR NEVER HAPPENED, but aspects of the season are used for plot purposes; angst-fluff mix, this was made with the intention of purely being fluff but i got carried away + klaus and five moments since they’re my favorite sibling duo
tw: mentions of death, obviously
note: this is literally just ripped from violet harmon and kyle spencer’s story, minus the questionable bits and the manipulative witch-bitch trying to draw a gap between the pair. this is what i do—i steal scenarios from my favorite shows/movies and put my fictional crushes in those positions, and no one will ever stop me!!!!!
“Trust me, love, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I came up with the idea. I’m not too crazy about it either.”
A tailored suit, beautiful green eyes, moles like constellations. You couldn’t put a name to the face in front of yours, no matter how hard you tried to figure it out. You could hear his voice clearly, but none of the words made any sense to you. Who was this man, and why was he so determined to keep you chained to a bedpost? You were stuck kicking and frailing your legs out on the floor, hoping that you’d somehow manage to scramble out of your bindings, but nothing was working. One wrist was handcuffed to the post, and the other was limp and useless. You couldn’t even remember your name, so how on earth would you manage to uncuff yourself?
It hurt to be the one to have to see you so out of it—to have no other option but to restrain you from the freedom you deserved, but Five couldn’t risk losing you all over again. It wouldn’t exactly be easy to stop a zombie on the run, so this was the best cause of action. As for how the two of you got here: it all started with the timeline reset.
Allison reset the timeline and ran off from the rest of the family to be with Claire and Raymond, and everyone else immediately followed in her footsteps. They went their separate ways, used their powers to their advantage, and eventually became more focused on their personal lives than the likes of each other. In a way, it felt like things had gone back to the way they were before Reginald’s funeral. In Five’s case, he finally had the chance to live a normal life as an adult.
Well, as normal of a life as a CIA agent with the ability to jump through space and time could get.
Wake up, make coffee, go to work, get lunch, go home, go to sleep; repeat. The routine was nothing special, and that was the best part abount it. Realistically, it was everything he needed since he was a little boy trapped in the frightening world of rubble and decay. As an older man, Five was too focused on his career and figuring out the correct move to make in order to help himself feel less insecure about the staggering difference between his physical age and his conscience. Occasionally, he’d try out a new hairstyle that a colleague or a barber recommended, or a different flavor of coffee before complaining about the sweetness and going back to his longtime preference of pure black.
In short, most things didn’t catch his attention unless they had something to do with his job or a way to spice up his new life.
That was why he was so intrigued when he found you.
A coworker of his recommended a restaurant to him—an old-timey vintage-themed diner for grandparents to go to whenever they wanted to feel young again. It sounded a bit tacky via word of mouth, but it was worth a shot. He decided to visit the diner to see if it deserved all of the decent reviews he read online. They usually complimented the staff and gushed about how the decor made them reminiscent of their golden days. One thing was for sure, they certainly weren’t lying about the staff. Specifically you, you really know how to brighten his day.
It started off as a few sneaky glances and a petname slipping out once or twice whenever you took his order or brought him his food. He never outright made it clear that he was interested in you, and you didn’t either, but he went along with the hopes of you being smart enough to catch on. Luckily for him, you ended up accepting his offer when he asked you on a date. With that, came an established relationship, and then five years of a deep bond being forged with small and occasional fights sparking, resulting in a proposal.
The idea was for there to be cake and champagne and solitude, but instead there were sirens, wrecked car parts, and a death certificate. You never had the wedding—you didn’t even last a full month as Five’s fiancée. The one time he should’ve been there for you was when he wasn’t. On your way to work, you ended up getting hit by a day-drinker who’d lost control over their car, and it cost not just their life, but your life as well. Five was devistated, but not surprised. He was never one to have nice things for long, and he even managed to turn the situation around and blame himself for the crash. For not being able to turn back time when it mattered most.
Once again, liquor became his best friend. The nights following were spent in a bar, if not in bed with a tight hold around the pillow you used to lay your head on.
In a drunken suptor, the idea came to him: necromancy. There was no telling it would work, but getting his brother involved was the only way he could attempt to bring you back to life without possibly causing another problematic shift in the timline. So, much to his dismay, he went to Klaus for help and found himself breaking into a funeral home to steal his soon-to-be-wife’s lifeless body back. As your corpse rotted in the confines of your shared home, Klaus prepared himself for the biggest challenge he’d faced in years: bringing his brother’s dead fiancée back to life.
Since this was a first-time occurrence, the boys overestimated Klaus’ potential and the attempt to save you ended up not going as originally planned. That was why you were now staring at your fiancé with empty eyes and a silenced brain after being locked in a bedroom all morning. You were reduced to pained groans and thick stitches where your body had been torn apart. None of this mattered to Five, though. At the end of the day, you were still his woman. No amount of scars and mindless drooling could change that.
“Did you get any sleep?” Five questioned politely, his thumb gently tracing over the grayed skin on your knuckles. Depsite the downside of the communication barrier, he continued to speak to you as if you could still understand the things coming out of his mouth. That was his way of making things seem normal when he knew that they were far from it. It was a coping mechanism.
“I sure as hell didn’t. But hey, that’s just life. Not much you can do about sleepless nights, right? Things just… come up and fuck with your brain, and…”
He trailed off, silently blinking while soaking up the sight of your uncomfortable exterior. You looked absolutely miserable.
“…You don’t hate me, do you?”
As expected, you didn’t answer him. You just sat there and stared back like the useless corpse you were. That awkward silence reminded him of the same he was used to receiving from Dolores, his previous plastic lover.
“I’ve finally lost it again, haven’t I?” The man deadpanned, letting out a held breath. That sigh was like an indirect admission to failure, and suddenly, he was in the apocalypse all over again with nothing but a mannequin and his self-loathing.
Bringing you back from the dead just for this to be your new way of life was wrong. From the reattached limbs, down to the inability to talk or think—this was no way to live. It would mostly be better to just put you back down so you could get the rest you deserved, but Five was too determined to fix what had been broken. He didn’t give up easily, and with you in the mix, he would spend the rest of eternity burning himself out if it meant that he’d be able to get you back to normal eventually.
“Shit.”
He reluctantly let go of your hand and began to sit up, watching you from the new distance he’d created. Your head sluggishly followed him, eyes piercing through his soul like he wasn’t the man who’d gotten down on one knee and promised a better life for you. He stopped in his tracks once a consideration came up. Suddenly, he was leaning into your personal space to stamp a gentle kiss on the crown of your head. “Be good, alright? I’m going to go talk to my brother for a moment.”
Your head dipped to the side curiously once he made his leave. You didn’t scream or cry for him, you just watched.
Five’s calm and collected attitude quickly melted as soon as he was at the front of the house, making a brisk move to the kitchen to get what have had to have been his tenth cup of coffee that afternoon alone. It was the key component to his sleepless night: coffee, power-walking around the house, and yelling at Klaus. The same Klaus who was asleep on the couch, frazzled from being the victim of Five’s wrath.
“Klaus, get up,” he demanded, watching the dark brown liquid fill the same mug he’d been using since yesterday morning. Five was met with silence, to which he countered by blinking beside Klaus in a swift blue light and pouring a light amount of the piping hot coffee onto the back of his shirt. He didn’t care for the stain it would leave on the couch; he’d deal with it later.
At that moment, a fearful and confused man was awoken from his slumber. “What the—shit, Five!”
“Did I stutter? Get up!”
With the time-traveler being in his twenties a second time, puberty was no longer an excuse for his bad behavior—not that he needed one. Every reaction was justified, and now that his wife was mentally unsound, he felt like he was right back at square one—yelling at everyone while being stuck in the same outfit for days on end because he was too stressed and depressed to change. And although he could see failure on the horizon as soon as he considered working with his brother, he was still convinced that taking his anger out on Klaus would help him feel somewhat relieved.
It didn’t.
Klaus rose up from the couch cushions and Five blinked back to his original spot behind the kitchen counter. “There’s no time for sleeping when my wife is struggling to recite the alphabet, so get your shit together and help me.”
“Have you taken the time to stop and consider that taking your anger out on me might only hinder the process?”
“As a matter of fact, Klaus, no. I haven’t, because I have bigger things to worry about than your feelings.”
Five Hargreeves loved his siblings. He went back in time and saved the world from total damnation for them. But, by god, did they annoy the everlasting hell out of him sometimes. This was your life they were playing with, and if things somehow managed to get worse, Klaus would be the first to hear about it. They were his powers, and now that you were back as some sort of ghoul rather than the kind, caring woman Five fell in love with, he wasn’t getting out of this until the issue was fixed. No matter how many beatings or insults Five forced him to take, they were in it together.
Who did Klaus think he was to request coddling at a time like this?
“Look, you’ve been here all night,” Five drawled, his hands shaking from the caffeine, “and you have done nothing but be utterly useless!”
Klaus brought a hand up to his chest as if he had been shot. “I resurrected her from the dead, Five; what more do you want from me?”
“I wanted her back, not a braindead copy!”
“And I understand that.” Klaus could relate to Five to an extent after dealing with the horrors of his own relationships, like the grief that came with having a lover taken away. As much as he desired to be the one to help Five avoid going through the same pain that he went through with the loss of Dave, he wasn’t well adjusted to the power-up. Sure, he could commune with the dead—share words and allow them to possess his body and whatnot—but physically bringing them back from the dead? That was a whole new level for him.
“But you have to consider my perspective, sweet brother o’ mine. I wasn’t aware of this power until you asked me to try it on her.” Five scoffed and rolled his eyes as he took a sip from his mug.
“Give me a break, Klaus. You made it seem like you knew what you were doing, but I guess this is the price I have to pay for believing an idiot like you would have things under control for once.”
The taller man let out a disappointed sigh and stepped over to him with a childish pout. “You know who you’re starting to sound like?”
“Don’t,” Five warned, glaring up at his brother.
“You can’t really deny it, can you?”
“Get out of my house.”
“I thought you wanted me to—”
“I changed my mind.”
“Alright, alright. Jesus, don’t get your boxers in a bunch.” Klaus grabbed his shoulders and kept them in a firm hold, but a squeeze of reassurance wouldn’t be enough to calm him down. He could see the crazy in his eyes—the same look he got when he was under the influence of paradox psychosis. “Instead of bashing me for hours on end, how about you let me take over? You can get some sleep, and I will re-teach her the basics.”
“Nope.” Five shook his head and disagreed without putting much thought into it. “I don’t trust you enough to be alone with her. I’ll watch from a distance.”
Klaus gave his shoulder a lighthearted pat. “Well, it’s your migraine.”
“Hey, actually,” he pulled away and leaned his back against the edge of the counter, going through the mail laid out on the surface, “why don’t you just set her down in the corner and let her play on one of those learning websites people throw their kids on?”
Five quickly snatched the collection of bills and newsletters away from him, tucking them into a nearby drawer for safekeeping. He huffed tiredly. “I don’t have children; I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Five could barely operate all the functions on his phone. To think he’d consider something like that was a little ridiculous, especially since growing up as a Hargreeves consisted of endless training, city-saving—and in Five’s case, surviving alone in a wasteland—not playing with toys and video games. He didn’t have good childhood memories to go off of, which deemed the entire situation even more difficult than it needed to be. Furthermore, the idea of having to treat your significant other as if they were a child was far from appealing.
“Right,” he recalled, “well, it’s a good thing your favorite brother is here to assist you, isn’t it?” As expected, Five was unamused.
“Where’s your laptop?” Klaus questioned as he glanced around the room. Five placed his mug down and brushed his hair to the side, preparing to venture off into his office.
“I’ll get it,” he announced. “Give me a second.”
“Ditto.”
The sound of Five’s footsteps lowering down the hallway were all Klaus had to go off of. To him, everything was fine and Five was finally being compliant, making his job a lot easier for him. But for Five, everything was quickly starting to fall apart all over again.
“Shit!” Five cursed and rushed back to the kitchen.
Klaus’ head snapped towards him. “What happened?”
“She ran out the back door!”
“I thought you cuffed her to the bed?”
“She got out somehow!”
“I’ll admit it, I should’ve asked if you were hungry before I left.” You let out an unpleased groan in response to the washcloth Five was using to wipe your face clean of the blood you’d gotten on the lower half of your face. “You know, y/n, your hunger doesn’t give you the right to chase after people’s pets.”
He never expected to be in a situation where he’d have to explain that to someone, let alone his partner, but after you escaped the house and terrorized the neighborhood cats strolling around the block, it was clear that a stern talking to was needed. He could only hope that no one had seen you munching on the animals before he and Klaus found you.
This was a good lesson for future reference: handcuffs aren’t always the solution.
“You smell like death.”
The stained washcloth was set the the side and his attention was now on the buttoned-up coat he’d covered you in when your body was sewn back together. It was his own, one he used during harsh winters, and it was big enough to cover the areas you wouldn’t want others to see if you were in your right mind. With the faucet in the bathtub running warm water behind him, the coat was no longer necessary, so he reached out, careful not to scare you, and unbuttoned it. When it dropped to the floor, he pulled your arm over his shoulders and tried to carry you over to the tub.
“Careful,” he warned softly. The affirmation was mostly for himself. He was horrified of dropping you and worsening your condition, but since you tired yourself out from your hunt for an early dinner, there was less squirming and resistance. You were limp in his arms, much like a ragdoll.
A bit of guidance was enough to get you in the tub. You seemed so enamored by the soap suds and bubbles that you didn’t even fight for an out of the water like a dog would. When Five switched the faucet off, your head snapped up in surprise.
“Did that startle you?” He questioned. “Sorry, honey.”
You felt a hand run down your back, giving you the ability to unwind after the sudden shock of the water turning off. With that, Five grabbed to towel off the floor and dipped it into the soap-stew. Once the towel was on your skin, the suds multiplied, and you watched quietly. Then, you looked at him, and he looked back. He felt even guiltier every time you made eye contact with him, but he tried to seem unbothered by your intimidating presence.
He swallowed hard and continued to wipe you down, continuing his soft spew of words without having the ability to smile about the situation. “Hey.”
“It’s me,” Five insisted. “You still don’t remember me, huh?”
Silence. “Maybe it’s for the best.”
Being forced to sit in your quietness was as comfortable as being held at gunpoint. Every second he would remind himself of the moments he’d taken for granted, the arguments he would cause, the good nights that didn’t last long enough—he wanted it all back, no matter the circumstances. As much as Five didn’t want to admit it, you were flustering him. He appeared to be the weakest link in comparison to you, and with the insecurity came the paranoia.
He never deserved you. He was a killer, an asshole, and a screw-up. You were far from that. You had so much more potential for big things, and now you couldn’t even remember your dreams and aspirations. What were you good for now? More importantly, what was he good for? Because time-travel and keeping his women in safe hands weren’t anywhere on the list.
“I’ll wait for you,” he affirmed. “I’ll be patient. You can take all the time you need to readjust, because this is all my fault. I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted my lady back.”
He let out a nervous breath, allowing his shoulders to drop as he continued to wash the grime from your body. “I’ll always love you, regardless of how you look. I hope you know that.”
He shook his head. “I just… usually I’m able to plan ahead, but… I’m lost.”
You glanced down at a bubble that had popped near your arm.
“I don’t know how you function now. I mean, before all of this, I was considering asking you whether or not you’d eventually want to have—”
He suddenly stopped, feeling even less confident about what he had to say. Especially since you weren’t even looking at him, so he could only assume that you weren’t listening.
“…Never mind,” Five hesitated. “The point is that I’m trying my best to find a proper way to go about this, but it’s not going anywhere. But I won’t either; I promise.”
He gently turned your head by your chin, forcing you to look at him again.
“I promise,” he reiterated. “You hear me in there?”
You squinted your eyes, remaining unresponsive. That was the perfect piece of evidence to show that he was never going to get to you anytime soon. It was breaking him, but he had an exceptional poker face. Instead of swearing and going on an annoyed tangent, he gave you a strained smile. “Good enough.”
There wasn’t more he could ask from you, so he was going to take what he could get and keep a distance from complaints. He was making himself talk to a brick wall with a pretty face.
“You could at least yell at me,” Five suggested while lathering the towel in a decent amount of soap. “Go ahead, speak total gibberish—I don’t care. I just want to hear your voice.”
“Or you could fight me again,” he added, referring to the struggle he and Klaus went through to get you to cooperate within the first hour of your resurrection. “Kick me in the balls like you did with Klaus. I probably deserve it, anyway.”
He didn’t care if you ripped his hair out, broke his wrist, or slit his throat open. He just wanted to feel something from you. Anything. There was a tight sensation in his chest, a sensation that worsened whenever he so little as glanced at you from the corner of his eye; the same feeling he got when he was thrown into the apocalypse. He desperately wanted nothing more but to override it with the pain that came from your punches.
“I’m so sorry I did this to you,” he whispered while glancing away, not wanting to linger in your gaze for any longer.
The remaining minutes of the wash up was left in a wretched state of stillness, aside from the splashes of water and miniature bubbles fizzing like pop rocks. In the moment, the worst managed to bite back at him. All of Reginald’s words of discouragement, The Handler’s disappointment with him. As much as he didn’t want to believe them, they were both right in the end.
Go figure.
When your soak finally came to an end and the water was drained from the tub, he managed to pull you out and wrap a towel around your body.
“Look at you.” He held you from behind, giving you a clear view of yourself in the mirror. You still looked rough, somewhat like a drowned rat, but you were clean now. “Just as beautiful as you were before.”
He pressed a kiss against your cheek and ran a hand through your hair, preparing to fix it into a protective style. He learned a little from the few times he watched you do your hair, and while Five wasn’t a perfect person, he was a quick learner.
“Let’s get you ready for bed.”
The soft whirring coming from the ceiling fan hogged your attention. That was good, it gave Five time to clean up around the house and walk Klaus out for the night. With the crash he was receiving from his caffeine intake, it was safe to say that tonight would be one of the rare instances where he would get a semi-decent amount shut-eye since the accident. Once he finished up, he trudged over to the bed and lowered down beside you.
His line of sight went up to the ceiling fan, then back down to you.
“You’re really invested in that thing.” He would be smiling if the circumstances weren’t so depressing.
Five looked like he had spent the evening trapped in a tornado. His eyes drooped with fatigue, and he could see your own pair doing the same. You couldn’t watch the fan spin forever. Sometime soon, you’d get bored of it and fall asleep.
Sometime soon, you might get bored of him and venture off. His teeth clenched at the thought. He brushed it off.
“Tomorrow, we’ll try to work out the kinks in your brain. Hopefully Klaus’ suggestions don’t end up being futile.” If that were the case, he’d probably just have to give up on going to him for advice altogether. Not to make it seem like that was a common occurrence, because it wasn’t. The only instance of said situation was when he was too intoxicated to catch himself opening up about his issues.
“If that doesn’t go well, then I’ll start making lesson plans,” he explained. “If I’m not busy, that is. I still have a job, as much as I’d rather stay with you all day. I’ll have to get someone to watch you.”
Five skimmed through the mental notes he made in relation to his family and immediately regretted coming to the conclusion. None of them were reliable figures for wife-watching. Viktor was in Canada, so he was off the table; Diego and Lila already had children running around their home, Allison was rarely ever at her house since she was working so much, Klaus was a maniac, Ben was in jail, and Luther was an idiot. Though, his strength would come in handy for keeping you in your place.
Five let out an unenthusiastic huff. “If it comes down to it, I’ll have to ask Luther to babysit you.”
It wouldn’t be much of a hassle, but it would be mildly irritating since Five enjoyed having his privacy. He spoke to his siblings at least once a month or so. They usually only saw him at family gatherings, like birthdays or New Year’s Eve parties. He showed up less for the socializing and more for the free alcohol. The wedding would have been one instance where he pushed himself through a full night of bickering and teasing from his family.
As bothersome as they could be, it would’ve been worth it just to see you having fun and getting along with them. It was still your night as much as it was his own, and the last thing he wanted was to rain on the parade you were excited for.
“That’ll be… something.”
He turned to rest his head on your chest and the lack of a heartbeat immediately stood out to him. It seemed slightly eerie now that he was resting against you. Listening to your heartbeat—that was one of the best parts of laying on you. The sound soothed him after a long day at work, it reminded him that he had a human being waiting for him at home. He loved hearing it. You were everything he didn’t have whenever he craved love and reassurance in the apocalypse.
The back-rubbing, hair-combing, forehead kisses. He couldn’t get any of that anymore, but he would feel selfish to whine about the loss of affection.
He should really learn how to shut his brain off sometimes.
Despite having you in his arms already, there was an underlying fear of you breaking free and running away for good. Maybe you didn’t love him anymore; maybe he scared you. Those reasons simply gave him more motivation to hold you tight. One of his hands treaded over to your own, forcing you into a hand-hold. You didn’t fight him off.
You were drifting asleep.
“I love you, y/n,” Five swore, giving your hand a loving squeeze. Your rings clinked from the pressure. “I’ll get you back. Somehow.”
— relationships are complicated. getting into one is even more complicated.
tags: fem!reader, pure fluff, not proofread because i hate reading my posts lmfao
tw: mention of suicide, but in a figurative way
note: i feel like the quality of this matches the quality of lil wayne's recent album
NEVER ASK A WOMAN HER AGE, A MAN HIS SALARY, AND A TEENAGE GIRL HER PAST
"Remember when you had those stupid glasses with the thick frames in fourth grade?"
"Cooper, shut up."
He didn't mean to embarrass you or make you feel self-conscious. It was an honest mistake, yet here you were, cringing at the thought of younger you walking around the halls of your old school with those black frames that slid off your nose every five minutes. You were so blissfully unaware of how dumb you looked compared to everyone else. It wasn't your best moment, in your opinion. For Cooper, his mind drifted off into the past every so often, finding comfort in the way you behaved back then. You eventually grew to hate the glasses and opted for another option to temporarily get rid of your blindness, but at that time, you were confident in your appearance. You didn't care if anyone made fun of them because they made you feel pretty. And while he sat across from you on your bedroom floor, typing away a storm and occasionally bringing up something that made you want to hang yourself then and there, he was only teasing. He wanted to make that clear without going into a boring, detailed explanation about his deep love for the way you expressed yourself. Instead, he chose to tuck it away into the back of his mind so he could write about it later that night with full privacy.
"My bad."
MUSIC IS KEY
"This new album came out a few hours ago, and I really wanna listen to it with you."
Cooper loved music. He loved music more than anything, and to hear you say that you wanted him—out of all the friends you had—to listen to an album with you made him feel the happiest he's been all month. Call it an overreaction or don't. The action of sitting there and relishing someone else's special interest, whether that be a hobby or a band, was essential to him. It showed that vulnerability was allowed in the friendship. The ability to be a critic while still being aware and accepting of the fact that this was something that person truly loved, something that they were kind enough to share with him. That was why it meant so much to him. It was like a statement of trust. With that in mind, of course he listened to that album with you. He cherished every moment of it. And when the initial listen was over, you listened to it together again. And again. And again. You danced together, you sang together. In a way, it was your album. An experience you shared. If that wasn't at least a tad bit romantic, he wasn't sure what was.
COMPLIMENT HER, BUT NOT TOO MUCH
"Cooper, this is your fifth time telling me I look good today. I get it."
You were smiling, but he was paranoid now. His sister told him that girls like it when guys compliment them a lot, so why were you complaining? Was it a genuine complaint, or were you just joking with him? He couldn't tell anymore. Girls were so weird... or maybe he was the weird one. No, he definitely was the weird one. Usually, he'd take pride in the fact, but today he felt like he was melting from the embarrassment of possibly making you uncomfortable. Cooper rarely complimented you, so obviously you weren't used to it. He was trying too hard, and it was all Natalie's fault for getting in his head, as well as his own fault for going to her for advice in the first place.
"I just thought you should know."
"I appreciate your kindness, but please. Be normal."
"Did you like it, at least?"
"...a little."
TEASING ISN'T ATTRACTIVE
"Too bad you're not as smart as you are attractive."
"...what?"
Going along with the advice Cooper's friends gave him was a stupid decision. He was beginning to notice a pattern the more he asked people for girl advice. Either he was doing everything poorly, or they knew nothing about girls. Truthfully, it was a mix of both options. You two were having a discussion about test results, leading to you talking about how you flunked a recent exam, and that confession prompted him to say that to you. At the look of annoyance that appeared on your face as soon as you processed what he just said to you, he cringed. His hands became sweaty as a flush of red invaded his face. Even with the blatant look of discomfort written all over him, you were too pissed off to take that into account. Cooper wasn't the type to tease, at least not like this. He was a sarcastic guy, not a professional flirt. Was this even textbook flirting? It definitely felt like he was overdoing it. When under pressure, words usually came out without much thought put into them, and that resulted in him making a stupid mistake that could've been easily avoided. He made it up to you by spending his allowance money on your music CDs of choice after you spent a whole week ignoring him.
"That was rude. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
SHOW YOU CARE
"If you need help, you know you can always just ask me, right?"
You didn't like asking for help, whether it was from family, friends, or a teacher. Cooper knew you long enough to understand where that hatred came from. Regardless of that, he always made sure to let you know where he stood with you. Sometimes you caved, and other times you pushed through it. In this specific instance, you were growing frustrated with an essay that was due by the end of the week; the only progress you'd made so far was writing your first and last name at the top of the paper. You weren't as much of a nerd as he was, and that was more than obvious every time you had some sort of lengthy assignment. When he made the inevitable suggestion, all you could do was sigh and give him the OK. Cooper wasn't too much of a fan of doing another person's work for them, but he was willing to put that fact aside due to how bad he pitied your struggle to apply yourself. He didn't want to see you grow even more irritated as time went on, so it was worth it.
"That's really nice of you, Cooper."
NEVER FORGET
"Didn't you say you wanted this for your birthday?"
"How'd you remember that?"
Your eyes landed on an expensive marker set, the promise of zero smudging and a perfect, sharp tip displayed on the box cover. You talked about needing a new set a few weeks back, but you never brought yourself to buy one. The thought slipped your mind often, but not Cooper's. Never Cooper. He was observant and rarely ever forgot anything when it came to you. In his mind, he thought he was being creepy and constantly degraded himself for doing so, but in your mind, you were thankful. Apparently, being as nosy as he was, was a good thing. He never gave off the idea that he would save up for that specific brand of markers, but that was exactly what he was determined to do.
PUT YOURSELF IN HER SHOES
"I'm so sorry, Cooper—I lost track of time. I'll make it up to you, I promise."
You two had plans to go out to a museum this Saturday, but you ended up showing up twenty minutes late, to Cooper's dismay. At first, he wanted to be mad, but this was you we were talking about. You could knock his teeth out and kick him in the stomach, and he would still be in love with you. It was absolutely pathetic, but he couldn't figure out how to stop feeling this way. He was aware of how forgetful you could be sometimes, and while it was extremely annoying most of the time, he never snapped at you. If he did, it wouldn't exactly benefit the cool, unbothered persona he tried to give himself. He wasn't a punctual person either; it would be hypocritical to criticize you for something he occasionally did himself. As a plus, it wasn't like you showed up late often. So, he simply shrugged. It would be stupid to spend the limited time you both had in there being petty and pouting like a child.
"It's cool. Don't worry about it too much. C'mon."
HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY
"I'm horrible at talking about things like this, but I like you a lot, and I really want you to go out with me. Say yes. Please."
It came out of absolutely nowhere. First, you were talking about an assignment that you were both agreeing on not doing out of laziness and lack of interest, then you brought up a random bit of drama you heard about at school earlier, and that was the moment he mentioned needing to say something important and hit you with that bombshell. Neither of you knew what to say in that moment because you were both equally unprepared and caught off guard. It was a sudden spur of confidence that hit him, and now he was regretting it. Cooper Day was no romantic. He knew nothing about girls and proper dates, and whatever else was required knowledge to score a girlfriend. All he had was his humor and a dream. Luckily, that was enough for you. You said yes—not because he begged you to, but because you genuinely liked him. And he could not, for the life of him, understand why.
"That was probably the worst confession I've ever heard in my life."
ASK BEFORE YOU DO
"If I try to kiss you, will you get mad at me?"
"...no?"
It was a lesson learned from the whole situation he had previously with Zanni. The last thing he wanted was to try and go in for a kiss and end up getting blue-balled. Again. And while you stated multiple times that you were fine with him being affectionate with you because it was something all couples did, he still didn't want to take a chance. It was less of a trust issue and more of a trauma response. He heard it all the time: "it's normal", "I love it when you kiss me", "seriously, it's not that big of a deal", "you worry too much". Everything you said was true, and he wasn't going to deny it, but the fact that every touch was consensual made the gestures feel even more special. The reassurance was very necessary, and every last bit of consolation you gave him replayed in his mind constantly. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared of you, slightly. He was fearful of upsetting you because he adored seeing you happy. It was what someone of your caliber deserved, and he'd be damned if he was the reason your heart got broken in the future.
GO WITH THE FLOW
When all was said and done, the boy came to a realization. He didn't need to act like the love interest in those stupid cliché movies. It was actually the most embarrassing thing he'd done all year. The one thing that made you like him was how he wasn't afraid to be himself, and he was too lost in trying to impress you that he completely forgot about that. He didn't need anyone's shitty advice because no one knew you like he knew you. To think of you as some sort of game that he could cheat in order to win a date with you easily was nonsensical and dehumanizing. It was a miracle that you were as forgiving and understanding as you were; otherwise, he wouldn't be in his current position. And while you two did have the occasional argument about something minor, Cooper finally understood that he had nothing to be frightened of. As long as he was open and honest with you, everything would be okay. If things didn't work out, it was better to be apart than to force each other to stay. He only had one life, and he was going to live it to the best of his capability. Worrying would only waste the valuable time he had with you.
And every single second he was lucky enough to spend with you was nothing but that.
tags: not proof-read, reader is gender neutral, extremely short since i got a headache and stopped LMAO
note: praying this gets me to start writing again; the drafts are looking depressing !!! had to post about my favorite bisexual icon because its july, which is when i usually watch doawk
❖ you help him clean out his van. the first time you brought it up, he was driving you to school. the sound of candy wrappers, empty soda cans, and whatever else he had piling up in the back was starting to irritate you, so you suggested he cleaned the van out. with this being rodrick, he obviously wasn't too keen on the thought of it, so he turned you down. weeks passed of you trying to convince him to clean until he eventually cracked. but he'd only do it with your help. and don't even mention the mess in his bedroom.
❖ rodrick is a broke boy. mom bucks, unfortunately, aren't enough for him to afford a fancy dinner. he wants to impress you so fucking bad no matter how many times you explain that you'll survive without going on a fancy dinner date at some boring restaurant. gas station dates are as good as they get (obviously), driving around town while blasting music, him trying his best to teach you how to drum, etc.
❖ with driving in mind—you had to make him promise to stop speeding. it took a lot of reminders and discipline, but after a while he grew used to it.
❖ he gives you löded diper merch to show his affection. custom band tees, cds, all of it. again, he's broke and he doesn't have much to work with.
❖ matching tattoos. need i say more?
❖ susan forces him to invite you over for dinner occasionally. she's just trying her best to be supportive.
❖ every time he goes on vacation with his family, he begs for you to come with him. he can't stand being stuck in a small car with his family, and you're the only thing that will keep him from going insane in that situation.
❖ he uses homework as an excuse to spend time with you. he asks if he can go to your house so you can help him study, but that's really code for "can i come over and waste your time because i know i'll get away with it no matter how busy you are".
❖ if you're an aspiring lyricist, he'll let you take the lead for one of their songs. his band mates don't believe he actually gave you the permission to do it until he shows them the paper with your hard work as proof. it doesn't matter how sappy or "cringey" the lyrics are. he just wants to make you happy, and that song is getting sorted out one way or another.
i need to take a moment to talk about tomodachi life and rhythm heaven coming to the switch, this is the moment i have been waiting for - and to top it all off the ena game dropped, i have never been happier okay thats all bye
do you have any rules when it comes to requesting?
i know i'm like months late to answering this LOL, but i can't think of anything atm other than do NOT request anything smutty since i am a minor. i might post more rules later if i can come up with any !!
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