TERFS AND OTHERS VIOLATING MY DNI ARE BLOCKED ON SIGHT
21 | He/vamp/bats/cats | Occasional 18+ content, no minors or ageless blogs on those posts!
I do take requests! I try to answer as best as I can, but if something doesn't strike inspiration, I probably won't write it. It's nothing personal, it just depends on my motivation level! I usually write things about my current hyperfixations, which can be found in my bio.
My main account: @evil-dad-evil
Please reblog the posts you like! Likes don't really do anything on Tumblr. Reblogs are the only way content gets spread around. Spam likers will be blocked- spam reblogs are okay.
Comm info: https://www.tumblr.com/obscure-imaginations/744959448629526528/comm-info
~More things below- DNI, tags, characters, etc~
18+ only subjects are tagged as: // ns.ft , // ns.fw
Links:
Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evildad/works
I also accept monster-loving/monster-fucking things!
What I won’t write:
Noncon, dubcon, incest, pedophilia (adult/minor ships, even if the child is aged up), pregnancy, scat/vomit, gender icks, etc. No proshippers allowed.
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DNI:
Bigots of any kind. Christans/catholics. Pro-lifers. The Satanic Temple or any of its associates, inclusing "atheistic" Satanists/Luciferians. TERFs/radfems/gender critical/trandmeds/etc. Proshippers/comshippers/variants. Pedophiles/MAPS/NOMAPS/PEARS/etc. Incest (includes adoption). 'Real person shipping' (shipping real people or shipping yourself with celebrities etc). Pro ana/ed/self harm/etc.
Imagine Sarafan Raziel in a "Happy Death Day" type timeloop.
A creature he cannot fathom, ending his life in one way or another. Some loops, he slips off Janos's Aerie balcony. Others, he hides in his room and doesn't come out until the creature breaks its way in. Sometimes he runs to the Circle and gets slaughtered by Vorador instead.
Eventually, he reaches the conclusion that a cruel vampire has locked him in this loop as an eternity of torment for his partaking in the genocide. He gives up and lives each day as he knows how.
Until, one loop, it clicks. The monster's voice. His eyes. The way he holds his sword. That's him.
Finally, the Sarafan Lieutenant is dead for good.
As a vampire lieutenant, Raziel gets antsy when nights are too monotonous. He can't understand why. He becomes impulsive and erratic on those nights. Kain knows why from his visions into the Chronoplast, but when asked, he shrugs and states that Raziel is simply spontaneous.
Eventually when the sun is blotted out by the Smokestacks, and the nights bleed into the day, Raziel's sleep cycle adjusts and it's not so bad anymore.
Of course, the ouroboros comes to fruition. In the instant Raziel stabs his past self, a whirlwind of different deaths he's caused himself catches him offguard. Of course, as time reshuffles itself, the thought is overcome by "history abhors a paradox".
I’m sorry but i have to ask, why do you have a DNI for satanists, im genuinely curious? /nm /srs
I don't have a DNI against Satanists. I am a Satanist and I worship Satan, and the other Infernals- ancient Mesopotamian deities stolen to fearmonger and contribute to colonization.
If you mean how I don't support The Satanic Temple, it's because "atheistic" Satanists are cultural appropriators- mentions above, but also another example would be calling the sigil of Baphomet "Satan".
They have also doxxed, harassed, and sued ex-members for calling out their bigotry. They've lied about supporting abortion funds and food pantries. Sources here- there's a whole website about their horrid beliefs.
I also do not support "xenosatanists"- they're people who think child predation/bestiality/etc should be legalized and publicly accepted.
But yes, I do support theistic Satanists, Satanic witches, demon workers, and the sorts. I'm always happy to clarify.
Feral will cuddle you anywhere, anytime. He's ready to pull you into his lap at a moment's notice, his chin resting atop your head. His arms are wrapped around your stomach or his hands are holding yours. He hums, the vibrations in your back and the sound in your ears, comforting and adding warmth. He'll put a pillow in his lap for extended sessions, so his bony knees don't cause any discomfort. This position makes it optimal to watch holoTV with a snack bowl in your lap.
Savage likes you to lay on top of him, even just using him as a pillow. His muscle is covered in a nice layer of fat nowadays, so he's a comfortable pillow. He'll drape a (thin) blanket over the both of you (he has enough body heat to not need blankets) as a comfort. He pets you, your head and back in goosebumps from his gentle strokes. If he's teasing, he'll barely scrape his claws, but usually he's talented at just using the tips of his fingers. Be careful if he falls asleep, he might squeeze you like a teddy bear. Just poke him in the ribs if he holds you too tight, he'll snort awake and ease up.
Maul only cuddles in bed. He has a reputation to uphold! Thankfully, the offers to cuddle gets him to sleep instead of him constantly planning and scheming, and avoiding sleep like the plague. He's the big spoon and doesn't care which way you face. But, he likes being able to kiss your face, so maybe he likes it that way. Tucked against him, his arms around you, tracing shapes on your back. Eventually, if you manage to get him to stay there long enough, he'll get sleepy. If you're extremely lucky, he'll hear him purr. Soft, almost silent, but a purr. (He's never felt safe enough with anyone else.)
Feral likes to kiss your neck. It provides a sense of closeness. He enjoys ghosting his lips and tongue over your arteries, the both of you knowing the danger he poses. Yet, that only brings a smile to your face- knowing he could easily end you at any moment and yet he never would. The intimacy of his kiss at a weak point, as if he's saying "I'll protect you instead."
Savage likes to kiss your forehead. It's cute, and easier for his height, rather than having to scoop your face upwards to be able to see his. He loves seeing your eyes sparkle afterwards, you swooning after him like a cartoon. He enjoys teasing you about it, seeing your embarrassment hike up into your face. He just laughs and leans in to press another to your head.
Maul likes to kiss your lips. Ever since he learned the origin of kisses as "inhaling each others' souls", he's treated it like a ritual. Something to savor, pressing his mouth to yours softly as he draws you close. He's ever the philosopher, mumbling about how if you kiss someone, you should *mean* it, when he passes by couples. And he does mean it, every time he asks you to kiss him.
people moving to tumblr from twitter please fucking reblog art likes literally dont do anything except make the artist upset bc they have 2 reblogs and 55 likes
theres this one person who reblogs this post like 20 times a day and then sometimes will also reblog it like 200 times at once and also anytime it appears on their dash they apparently will queue it again too and i just want you all to know that you pissed them off real bad and that should be your sign to reblog art actually. for them
Yuletide Blessings, everyone! Been doing my best to dodge religious trauma this season. Have a Yule headcanon post.
Gift giving among Kain and his lieutenants. Tried to keep it canon-friendly but a couple modernish items slip in (it was too funny to not put!) VERY long post, SFW, cut for space.
What Kain gets...
From Raziel: Was tempted to give him nothing, but relented and got him a fruit-scented candle.
From Turel: A handcrafted metal hair pin with a bat motif.
From Dumah: A crochet sweater. (It's too small.)
From Rahab: Shiny crystals he got from the lakes.
From Zephon: Spider-themed cupcakes. (Kain is a bit afraid to eat them.)
From Melchiah: A handmade card and a box of expensive chocolates.
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What Raziel gets...
From Kain: An extremely expensive fragrance oil, the kind the Razielim would make.
From Turel: A crystal carved into a bat. (Crystal provided by Rahab.)
From Dumah: A crochet miniskirt. (He was trying to make pants but couldn't properly account for Raziel's thighs so he gave up there.)
From Rahab: A swimming skirt from the Rahabim. Now Raziel can swim with them all!
From Zephon: A scarf made of the finest silks. (Dumah accuses him of being a ripoff.)
From Melchiah: An essential oil diffuser.
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What Turel gets...
From Kain: Shiny crystal earrings (crystals provided by Rahab).
From Raziel: A mug that says "#1 Pit God". (It was for a heavy metal concert but it counts, right?)
From Dumah: Gave up on crochet and got him a bat plushie.
From Rahab: A stained glass window hanger. The motif is a bird.
From Zephon: An ancient copper sword found in the depths of the Cathedral.
From Melchiah: A beaded necklace to attach to his glasses (so maybe Turel will stop losing them).
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What Dumah gets...
From Kain: Candles with woody scents.
From Raziel: A fireproof metal box. (No one laughs.)
From Turel: An obsidian dagger.
From Rahab: Tickets for an aquarium. (Dumah is very excited to ramble with Rahab about the various fishies!)
From Zephon: A giant weighted blanket.
From Melchiah: A puppy. They talked about it first so Dumah could be prepared. Now Dumah has a sweet puppy to dote on.
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What Rahab gets...
From Kain: A giant trilobite fossil. (No one knows where he got it and they are too scared to ask.)
From Raziel: A suncatcher in the shape of a fish.
From Turel: Replacement windows for the Abbey.
From Dumah: Oil for his rotary engine in the lighthouse.
From Zephon: A waterproof pouch made from spider silk.
From Melchiah: Fossilized coral he found in his territory.
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What Zephon gets...
From Kain: A 'Phantom of the Opera' mask.
From Raziel: A clown mask. (Zephon proceeds to use it to scare small children.)
From Turel: A small metal spider statue.
From Dumah: A crochet shawl that looks like a spider web.
From Rahab: Dried fish to feed to his spiders.
From Melchiah: A tarantula he found wandering about in his territory. (Zephon names it 'Corpse'.)
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What Melchiah gets...
From Kain: Fancy cologne.
From Raziel: Flower essential oils.
From Turel: A beautifully crafted metal cane for when Mel is in between limbs.
From Dumah: A pair of crochet earmuffs.
From Rahab: Needles made from bone.
From Zephon: A GIANT box of mints. (Melchiah is excited to snack upon them.)
18+. Warnings: Dom/sub, master/pet, threats of castration. Kain/Dumah.
Dumah had been warned many times before, and now his consequences had come to fruition.
Dumah hadn't had time to react when Kain yanked him by the hair off the couch, snarling. "How many times have I told you to stay off the furniture? You lost that privilege when you couldn't keep your dick off my throw pillows."
"They're soft." Dumah said, gasping when Kain's fist tightened in his hair.
"You have other toys, dog. I'm halfway tempted to lock your cock in the cage again." Kain paused. "Or... I could just take off the problem entirely."
"Wha-" Dumah started before his eyes bulged. The Soul Reaver's humming blade was pressed against his testicles. He looked at Kain with wide eyes. "You wouldn't."
"I would." Kain snarled. "Take these balls off and leave your cock useless. Then maybe you'll keep it in your pants."
Dumah pouted at him, giving him puppydog eyes. "I'll be good, Master, I promise! I won't rub my dick on the furniture anymore!"
Kain pressed the blade closer, the cold making Dumah shiver. He knew that if the blade pierced his skin, it would howl to Kain for blood, and Dumah would lose more than his balls. After another cruel moment, Kain pulled away. "Last warning."
We all love the idea of a vampire s/o biting and turning their human partner during sex.
But what about the aftermath? Can we make aftercare for turning into a vampire a thing, please?
Ideas…
The newly turned vampire is shocked by the sudden drop in their body temperature so the senior vampire makes sure to run a hot bath and keeps lots of blankets on standby. And of course there’s a roaring fire in the fireplace in their bedroom.
The older vampire talking them through the changes to their appearance. Telling the new vampire how beautiful their ruby eyes are, how their fangs are coming in nicely, and how lovely the bite marks will look once they’re healed.
If there are bodily pains associated with turning (or dying), the vampire holds the soon to be vampire close, telling them they’re strong and they can get through it. They won’t be alone throughout this transition.
The new vampire needs blood, and their partner has all they’ll ever need. Being turned must be exhausting. The senior vampire will hold their vampling’s head up while they’re laying down to get their first sips of blood. Or they’ll offer the youngling their own blood.
I’m just obsessed with the idea of vampire turning aftercare, alright!?
a big ass orc husband with thighs that can bend steel. a head of luscious hair down to his back. bulging biceps as big your head. and a soft belly to match. he can barely fit into the shirts you buy him but wears them anyway cause you like them... which means he likes them. one of his tusks is chipped and his thick skin is scattered with scars from his time as a young, hot-headed chief. now retired from his fighting days, he's all yours to nuzzle against while he and his brothers yell at the rugby match on the television. your center still aching and legs weak from how deep he'd fucked you in the hours prior. biting your lip at the echoing memory of his gruff promise to finish what he'd started as soon as you have the house to yourselves again.
WANNA READ MORE ABOUT HUSBAND!ORC? FIND HIM ON MY PATREON!
Gargoyle lover who can't spend time with you during the day, as he truly is nothing but a stone statue at sunrise. But at night, he moves around freely in his true form.
He makes up for the lost time by filling you up each night. Ensuring to keep you awake all night, cock drunk, so you can sleep the whole day. Now you sleep when he ''sleeps'' and you're awake when he is.
But sometimes he gets carried away, not realizing that the sun was peeking above the clouds as he's far too distracted pounding into you to ensure you take every last drop of his cum before he sleeps. It's not until he notices that his movements were halted, but he was too late. He turned completely into a stone statue whilst balls deep inside of you. Both of his arms still wrapped around your waist, you're unable to move. It's not as though you can push him off either; he's far too heavy.
Now you're stuck, still wriggling with pleasure as his now cold, hard cock is still inside. Even though he's now in statue form, his dick is still able to reach all the right spots without moving. It was going to be a long day.
(Filled with headcanons that may not be accurate btw but I don’t care it’s my house)
Being called “Baby”: Does not fuck with that at all. They might find 90% of your pet names endearing, except that one. Do not infantilize them, they hates to think you see them as weak and vulnerable as a baby is. Would honestly loved to be called “Elder” or “Senior Citizen” instead, at least age has some pride to it.
Beds: Yautja don’t really sleep in ‘comfortable’ conditions, their mattress are very stiff and only adorned by furs from valuable prey they’ve killed. Besides that, they often camp on in trees or on forest floors, even in the worst of weather. So squishy human mattresses and fluffy pillows are not their thing, they always feel like they’re sinking. Plus the bed frame can hardly handle their full weight. But blankets are the worst, why would you want to be constricted and tangled up like that in your sleep?? On the plus side, they’ll never hog your sheets. In fact, they may just prefer the floor.
Perfume/Cologne: Okay, so if it’s the exact same scent you had on you the day you met, they can tolerate it. But anything outside of that is a no-go. Scent is largely how they familiarize others and smelling something foreign basically always registers as a threat. If you change it regularly, you might find all your perfume bottles in the trash one day. They find your natural body odor delectable anyway, nasties. If you switch it up on them once randomly, they straight up nearly attack you until they realized what happened and then make you swear to never do it again.
Haircuts: Their dreads are full of sensitive nerves, they’re a large part of Yautja affection and cutting them is a huge, painful sacrifice. So when you have to cut yours at least a few times a year? Horror story, basically. Literally flinches every time they see the scissor snip. They know, logically, that your hair is different from theirs but they still see the equivalent of an amputation.
Shaving: On a similar note, they don’t understand why you would ever want to get ride of your natural fur. Granted, they won’t try to fight this one as hard, but they actually love your fuzzy little hairs and get rather disappointed whenever your skin is freshly smooth.
Periods (if you get them): Another one that they logically know is normal and healthy, but they cannot stand to smell blood on you for an entire week. Their instincts are screaming that their mate is injured and they need to do something to fix it, but they just can’t. You pretty much get doted on and treated like you’re dying of an exotic illness.
Processed foods: They’re diet is a solid 60% meat they killed and 40% fruits/vegetables they foraged. All raw, of course. Cooking seems like a huge waste of time to them but they understand you needing to get rid of harmful bacteria. What they don’t understand is like…Takis. Or Candy Corn. Or Dr.Pepper. Like, anything that didn’t come directly from nature disgusts them to no end, they taste only pure chemicals and they cannot fathom how you eat a whole bag of gummy bears.
Clothes: Okay it’s not that they hate clothes, they just don’t understand your hesitation with nudity. To them, being naked means you are content and relaxed, even if you happen to be surrounded by strangers. They don’t really get body shame. What do you mean you don’t want your belly showing? Why are male chests more okay than female chests? Who cares if your genitals are out? Obviously some clothes have some purpose, but do oomans seriously need special garments just to not get embarrassed while they swim? How absurd.
If anyone else has any they’d like to share, please do! I love the differences in Yautja and human culture.
Cw: Extreme fat, food consumption, eventual bedbound. Soundwave's cassettes can't fit in his deck anymore 😢
The others had enjoyed Soundwave's new curves, however there were a few who didn't appreciate it. Only because it inconvenienced them, really. His cassettes... to put it bluntly, couldn't fit.
Soundwave's chassis hardly fit in his armor. His chest filled up the cassette deck, the protomesh sitting comfortably where the minicons should be.
He couldn't transform, which wasn't a problem as he wasn't on any spy missions. Indeed, the Decepticons were spoiling him by giving him privileges in his new shape.
He hated it at first. He enjoyed the fat, sure, but he was antsy to do something. The only tasks he got were sitting down. The fat of his back and belly spilled over the sides of chairs. His armor creaked in protest when he moved too quickly... as did his belly.
While listening to frequencies, Soundwave had taken up snacking. The frequencies were his only consistent task. Bored, he started on softer foods like energon jellies. Eventually he craved something crunchy and although it disrupted his audials to listen to the radiowaves, he indulged his rumbly tummy and snacked on rust sticks. The crunch delighted his intake and settled nicely in his belly. He missed a couple faint words from Autobot frequencies but hey, what Megatron didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
Recharge time was a relief to his spine. He sat heavily on his berth, swinging one leg at a time up. He let out a crackly groan when he settled down. The relief was instant. Although his fat was a blessing to many oglers, his spine and back armor creaked angrily sometimes.
The cassettes had given up trying to get in. Lazerbeak perched above Soundwave's bed, head hidden under her wing. Ravage laid on her own berth on the floor. Rumble and Frenzy tried their best to lay on the berth with Soundwave but the rolls of fat scooted them off and onto the floor. They eventually got their own charging stations in the corner of the room.
As Soundwave kept eating, he grew. He had to install a new berth thanks to sweetened energon. Soon he had to sit on his berth and listen to frequencies instead of heading to the transmission room. He sat up when doing his duties, but eventually gave up to laying down when his back hurt. He was still damn good at his job. Soundwave superior...
