penelope chewed as she watched felicity take off her jewellery. a little disappointed she’d held the amulet close, she blew another bubble and it burst with a loud POP. “lilac ends? better than that lifeless blonde you have going on. is it natural?” she asked, picking up a tendril with her fingers. “but, sure. can do. do you want me to shampoo your hair too? that’ll be an extra ten dollars.” with everything pulling together, she would gather about $150 from this job.
felicity crinkled her nose a bit at the mention of her ‘lifeless blonde’ hair, but she nodded still. “yeah, it’s natural. i’m just ready for a bit of a change, i suppose,” she said, with a bit of a hum. she bunched her lips at one side at the question, ultimately giving a small shrug. “sure, why not? ten dollars isn’t too much.” she gave a small smile, nodding slightly.
“don’t get me wrong, i don’t want to be constantly working, but i have to. no one else is going to do it.” or rather, she didn’t trust many other people to do it for her.
“no, no. i get that, it makes sense,” she said softly, offering a small smile. “and i appreciate all the work you do, roxy, really.” she paused. “how about you take a break from work and we go out for ice cream? coffee? either one, my treat~ what do you say?”
felicity’s first boyfriend; why she cares so much about what other’s think and why she often wishes that her heart was cold and cruel.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: TOXIC / ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
"will you go on a date with me, princess felicity?” the boy, age eighteen, asked the, at the time, sixteen-year old girl.
the question was simple. yes or no. she just had to choose one --- and yet, the small princess found herself with a half-forced smile, feeling something off about the boy and his question. of course, she didn’t know how to say no to people.
so, with a soft smile, she murmured a quiet, “yes.”
that was where it all began, with that single, little word.
the date was simple, nothing extravagant, not at all how felicity had imagined her first date to go. it wasn’t that it was bad, it was just that it wasn’t good.
“how was the date, fellie?” her mother asked, excited to hear all about it.
“it was fine ...” the princess would murmur, before dragging herself up to her bedroom.
“how was the date, princess?” baileywick would ask, about an hour later, after being sent up to the small girl’s room by sofia.
“it was fine ...” the princess would repeat, in the same, murmured voice.
“how was the date, little felicity?” her uncle james would ask, at around ten o’clock at night, after having a long discussion with sofia and baileywick.
“it was fine ...” the princess would repeat, once again; this time, her voice muffled by her hiding her face in a pillow.
“how was the date, fel?” serendipity would ask the sad girl, once everyone else in the castle had gone to sleep.
“it was fine ...”
that was the only answer that she would give. she proceeded to go on dates with this very same boy.
the questions, the observations --- they started out simple.
“fellie, why are your eyes red?”
“oh, i watched a sad movie.”
“fellie, how did you get that bruise?”
“oh, i ran into my desk at school.”
“fellie, did you run into your desk again?”
“... yeah, i guess i did.”
then, the questions, the observations --- they became more serious.
“felicity, why are you never home anymore?”
“i was with my boyfriend.”
“felicity, does your boyfriend love you?”
“i’d like to think so.”
“felicity, does your boyfriend hurt you?”
“... no.”
she knew the correct answers to all of these questions, of course; she chose not to share them, though.
it got to the point that she stopped showing up to school. she stopped attending royal events. she stopped attending family dinners. she stopped speaking to anyone who wasn’t him.
“baby, i’m sorry. for the bruises, for all of it --- forgive me?”
he requested; she did.
“baby, don’t leave me. i’m more important than school, aren’t i? stay with me?”
he requested; she did.
“baby, don’t go. the royal ball will go on with out you --- sit down.”
he demanded; she did.
“baby, have didn’t with me instead.”
he demanded; she did.
“don’t speak to them, anymore, or i swear to god ---”
he threatened; she didn’t.
she spoke to nobody but him for months.
“i don’t think i want to do this anymore,” the small princess sputtered out, feeling afraid.
that day marked one year since the two had gone on their first date.
“... you want me to ask for forgiveness again?” he laughed, an incredulous smile adorning his lips. “like ... you’re telling me my love isn’t enough for you? isn’t right for you? come on, felicity. i say you’re being ridiculous."
“i don’t ... want you to ask for forgiveness, i just --- i-i wanna believe what i heard somewhere, a long time ago, that ... that love is free. --- and kind! and --- and you always try to act like you’re ... all humble and wise. you act like i don’t have bruises all over, and like you don’t scream at me every single day! and maybe that’s how you love, but ---” she breathed, tears forming in her green eyes.
“--- but what?”
“... but what you call love is destroying my life! and it’s --- destroying your soul, if you ever had one and --- and i don’t think you even know what it means to love, or to be loved ---” she cried, taking a step away from him.
“felicity, look. we’re still so young. we’ve got so much to learn, don’t we? you’re just corning me with your words --- and you’re doing it to yourself to, come on now,” he murmured, stepping forward and reaching out for the princess.
“w-what --- no, i’m not ---”
“look, this is the real, alright, princess? this is real life,” he assured. “this ... this gritty, gory, and gorgeous thing we have going on? this is love.”
jerking away from him, she let out a breathy laugh, "no, it’s not! this is not love! and, i know, that i have never been loved before, but, god, i know for certain that this isn’t it!”
“fellie, come on, calm down and cooperate, alright? we can talk this out ---”
“i don’t want to talk this out! i want freedom! and protection!”
“come on, princess, i can give you that ---”
"it’s been a year! an entire year, and all i have to show is bruises!”
“oh, please, you act like those bruises ain’t badges of honour ---”
"what do you mean --- ‘honour’?!” she cried.
“felicity, you are not leaving me! you owe me everything!”
“i can’t owe what you never gave! and, god, the love you gave was never love!” felicity screamed, tears streaming down her face. “you don’t know anything about love! you’re ... you’re warped, you’re sick! you’re so full of these twisted ideas of love!”
“felicity chancia ---”
“i’m not doing this anymore!”
that same night, felicity went home and told her mother. she told baileywick. she told her uncle james. she told her closest friends at school, though mostly as a warning --- stay away from this boy. he will destroy you. soon enough, though, it had gotten around to most people in enchancia, as well as a few in auradon --- royal secrets could never really stay secrets, after all.
although felicity remained soft, that year of her life effected her in a way she hadn’t thought possible; it made her even more self conscious that she had previously been, and it made her wish to be heartless and cold.
she was made of sunshine and stardust, though. she was made of milk and honey; nothing would ever change that about her.
“as long as you try. i think it’s worth a shot,” ithaca said, very aware of how hypocritical she was being. she didn’t like it, but she didn’t see any conversation with herself and otto going well, especially if she wanted some kind of apology. “i… we do.” but she couldn’t keep the uncertainty out of her voice.
“you’re right. i’ll try the next time i talk to her. thanks, ithaca,” she said, with a soft smile. she bunched her lips at one side in thought, and a small frown adorned her features at the uncertainty in ithaca’s voice. “you don’t ... you don’t sound too sure.” her tone was as soft as possible, and her expression matched her tone.
“oh, puh-lease.” penelope blew a bubble with her gum. “i’ve done this a million times and i can tell you, for real, no one’s ever gotten hurt in curl up & dye. or unsatisfied.” for once, she was telling the truth. if there was one thing she was actually good at, it was hairdressing. “take off all your accessories around your head and neck unless you want them dyed too. what is it you wanted to do again?”
at the reassurance, felicity felt a bit better. she took a deep breath, nodding slightly. “alright. that’s definitely reassuring,” she said, with a small smile. she took out her hairpin, then going to ( a bit hesitantly ) take off her amulet. she wrapped the chain around her hand and held on tightly to the jewel itself. “oh, uh --- lilac ends?” she pulled on the ends of her hair. “a trim and lilac ends?”
“Well, good for you.” Charity paused wondering if she regretted anything. “I’m sure there’s something I regret, but I can’t think of anything right now.” She shrugged.
“i just think that everything is important, you know? even our mistakes. it’s how we live and we learn ...” she gave a small shrug. “i try not to regret even the worst of things that i have done.”
ithaca let out a tiny hum in amusement at felicity’s dramatics. “i say just ask. if willow gives you trouble over it, don’t concern yourself with it.” it was probably more complicated than she was making it out to be, but ithaca preferred to be as direct as possible. she knew the next question was coming, and so she said, “because otto and i work differently. that’s all.”
“i mean, i guess ...” she murmured, then sighed softly. “i’ll try. maybe the next time i talk to her, or maybe the time after that, but ... i’ll try.” she offered a small smile. at ithaca’s answer to her question, she tilted her head. “you work differently? but you are still siblings. he cares for you, you for him, right?”
@ptremaine said: ❝ the problem is not the problem. the problem is your attitude about the problem. do you understand? ❞
felicity offered the slightest of smiles and gave a small nod. “i, uh --- yeah, i understand, i just ...” she set the supplies down on the desk, crinkling her nose. “i’ve just never dyed my hair before. i’m a little bit nervous, i guess ...”
ithaca paused. “…no, that’s definitely true, but most people would apologise, just on principle. from what i know about willow, she doesn’t seem all that used to apologising. maybe she’s just trying to find the right words. and i think you do deserve an apology, even if it wasn’t her fault.” at felicity’s last question, she paused, chewing the inside of her cheek. “no, i’m not.”
at ithaca’s words, fellie bunched her lips at one side, in thought. “i mean, i guess you’re right, but ...” she sighed, crinkling her nose. “i just don’t know. i’m too stressed to live his life ---” a bit dramatic, but it was how she felt. she put her head in her hands, only looking up once ithaca had answered her question. “... what? why not?” she frowned slightly, confused. “you deserve an apology, too, ithaca ...”
she wasn’t sure whether felicity sounded unsure because she was hesitant about what ithaca was saying about otto, or because she was trying to compare ithaca’s own situation to her and willow’s. “this is something she needs to be bothered about. if you aren’t completely satisfied with something, then you need to go and get answers. you deserve an apology of some kind, even if it wasn’t really willow who hurt you.” a bit hypocritical coming from ithaca, but she liked to think her situation was different.
felicity puffed out her cheeks, then letting out a long sigh, unsure of what she was going to do. “but ... that’s the thing. it wasn’t willow who hurt me, and so ... do i really need an apology? do i really deserve an apology? it wasn’t ... it wasn’t her fault, really ...” she frowned slightly, looking down at her hands. “are you going to talk to otto about it?”
part of ithaca wanted to say that felicity was better than willow, but she didn’t think that would be appreciated, not in this situation. and it wasn’t like felicity was perfect in the first place. she pressed her lips together in a tight line, wondering how much she should say before she said it. “…well, otto didn’t apologise to me for hurting me, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel bad about it.” yet she doubted her own words. she didn’t really know with otto anymore. “i don’t think you should worry about it this much. just ask willow about it.”
felicity played with the ends of her hair, not sure what else to do. she paused, crinkling her nose a bit as she thought back to her last conversation with otto. “well, i guess you’re right, yeah ...” she murmured softly. otto hadn’t told her as much, but he had to feel bad about it ... right? “you’re right. talking to her would be the best solution.” she paused. “... i just don’t want to bother her.” she gave a hopeless sigh.
she's the most perfect human being in this world, and i'm so jealous of her for it, but because of that jealousy i hurt her, and i can't forgive myself for that. i'm sorry, fellie.
“willow, it’s okay ... i love you, okay? there is no human being better than you in my eyes. thank you for being the best cousin a girl could ask for.”
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