jacqueline barnes

indie rule 63 bucky barnes rp blog. please read about and rules before interacting.

[pyromechanics]

[Hiatus]

[Idk when I’ll be back but life is happening and I think I need to take a break.]

[redroomdropout-archive]

“Suffice it to say you did,” Faina replied. She did not want to drag her through the pain of trying to remember half-forgotten things. Nor was it her place to do so. 

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Jackie nodded, trying not to remember too much of it. What she did remember thoroughly disturbed her, and she felt numb when she thought about it. “I’d give you more information if I had been privy to it, but I wasn’t.”

[noworldnomad]

“No!” She says it too loudly, but she’s appalled and can’t help it. “No- no,” Rikki pulls back, eyes down, “I mean… I just… I just wanna help.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

“No one gives out help for free. They taught me that very early on.” Jackie didn’t want to think badly of the woman in front of her, but she knew she had to, for her own safety. She had made the mistake of trusting someone’s good intentions once, in her time at Hydra. Never again.

[noworldnomad]

“What? No, no…” Rikki shook her head, “I don’t want your help. I wanna help you.”

Not that she could do much in terms of that either, but anything was something, right?

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Jackie frowned, suddenly wary of the woman in front of her. She tensed up a little, taking a step backward.

“What do you want in return, then? Anyone who wants to help me wants me to owe them.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Target Sighted - Christine and Jackie

Jackie was doing fairly badly on her own, but at least she was surviving. It amazed her how much food restaurants threw out at the end of the day, but she was glad for it, because it was keeping her alive. She kept odd hours, waiting until the restaurants closed for the day, but it was food, and she wasn’t complaining.

She didn’t sleep much, anyway. She spent her days wandering the city streets, a jacket and gloves over her metal arm, looking for any faces she recognized from Hydra. She was still bent on killing them all, but she felt like she was beginning to lose herself the more progress she made, so she had stopped for now, waiting to track down Hydra people again until she had a better hold on herself.

Jackie still hadn’t shed her programming entirely, and it was hard for her to think of herself as a person, and not a machine. Especially when her vision scanned and locked onto targets like a machine.

Her eyes were on a blonde woman now, someone she recognized. Deep within her brain, orders still remained - get rid of her. She’s a nuisance. Jackie slipped into predator mode without really realizing it, tracking the woman and keeping a safe distance behind her as she walked. She’d kill her once they were alone, and out of sight of the crowds of people.

[noworldnomad]

So maybe she could have done with her being a little less coherent. Dang it. 

“It- I-”

Ugh, okay. Couldn’t tell the truth. Couldn’t lie- not all the way. One, no way she’d believe her, two, when she did tell her the truth she’d probably kill her. 

Option three then: edit it. 

“I’m Agent Carter’s granddaughter.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

That got Jackie’s attention, recognition flaring before she realized what she was actually recognizing. Agent Carter was a name from her past, and she remembered a woman with brown curls, someone Steve had fancied. The memory grounded Jackie a little, and she tried to focus on the mental image of Peggy and Steve - friends who had cared about her. 

“...Christ, I’m old,” was the first thing to fall out of Jackie’s mouth, and then she made herself focus on the actual situation. “I remember Peggy, but not much of her. It’s very hazy. I don’t know how much I can help you.”

[officialtonystark]

captain-outoftime

Steve Roger’s aesthetic.

[noworldnomad]

“No, no. It’s okay. It’s-… it’s okay.” 

In a way, this was sort of a win, right? She’d found her. Found her alive. Found her having a nervous breakdown, but still…

Okay. Words, Barnes. 

“I’m, uh, I’m Rikki. Uh. Hi?”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Jackie took a deep breath, trying to force herself back to reality. If this person turned out to be an enemy, she needed to be coherent to fight her off. Anyone who wanted her as their tool would have no problems snapping her up in the middle of a panic attack. 

“I’m - “ Jackie hesitated. She didn’t feel like The Soldier, but the name she had had in the past seemed unfamiliar. She wasn’t Becky anymore. “I’m Jackie. Is there a reason you came and found me?”

[redroomdropout-archive]

Even though the USSR had fallen, girls were still being taken. Trained. Used. Less under the guise of working for the motherland. More for profit of the masters. “We knew you. You were considered a great success.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Jackie felt a little ill at her words, though she tried to keep the horror off her face. She nodded, not wanting to convey how much all of this deeply disturbed her. “They told me I altered history. I don’t remember it much.” She managed a weak, humorless laugh. 

[ofwinterschill-blog]

[x noworldnomad]

Jackie was only vaguely aware of where she was and what was happening, her mind seized by paranoia and terror. Something had triggered her programming, and her brain reverted into “please don’t hurt me” mode, making her disoriented and short of breath. She followed the woman numbly, not even knowing who was helping her.

They managed to get into an alley, and Jackie leaned against a brick wall, trying to get any semblance of normality back. Pierce isn’t here. He’s dead. He won’t hurt you. 

“Sorry, I - “ Jackie’s voice was stilted, and she found it hard to force words out. “Panic attack.”

[redroomdropout-archive]

“My name is Faina,” she said. “Red Room took me in 2004. I got out two and a half years ago.” It was not worth trying to make her remember anything. The uncertainty was too much. “I need names and locations.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Now that was something Jackie hadn’t known - she didn’t think the Red Room was still around. She supposed they weren’t any worse than Hydra, but the knowledge was bound to add to her nightmares.

“I wouldn’t have known you, then.” Jackie frowned a little, trying to get her memories straight. “I was called the Winter Soldier, and the Red Room owned me for a while. I can’t remember when, but it was further in the past than that.” She paused, hating having to dredge up these memories. “I wasn’t privy to names and locations. I was kept on ice until they needed to use me, and it was usually only a day at a time.”

[redroomdropout-archive]

“Revenge,” Faina said bluntly. It had gone on too long. Romanova had gotten away. But it kept going on. Even after the fall of the USSR girls were still being taken, trained.

[ofwinterschill-blog]

That caught Jackie’s attention, although she wasn’t apt to trust this woman just yet. “...who are you? Did I know you, back then?” There wasn’t much harm in admitting she had been in the Red Room, since this woman seemed to think that anyway. “I’ve had my memories altered. I can’t vouch for their authenticity.”

[redroomdropout-archive]

“I have no interest in capturing you,” she said in an even, measured tone. She watched her eyes waiting to see if there was any recognition there. Then again the soldier had her mind wiped so often she did not know what she would remember. “I need to know what you know about Red Room.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Jackie hadn’t heard about the Red Room in a long time, but she still felt a sick jolt when the other woman mentioned it. Her memories of the Red Room were hazy thanks to Hydra’s interference, but she still was aware that she had been there. She remembered a red haired woman, and teaching students, but it was still all a bit muddled.

“And what are you offering in return for this information? I can’t say I know a large amount about it.” She wondered faintly if this woman had been in the Red Room with her. If so, she didn’t remember.

[ofwinterschill-blog]

redroomdropout

There was something familiar about the woman who had just approached her. In Jackie’s experience, that was definitely not a good thing.

“If you’ve come to try and capture me, you won’t succeed.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

[mutuals like for a starter?]

[myatonements]

Not allowed, well, thankfully, Natasha wasn’t exactly known for following orders to a t. And worst case scenerio, she could just pretend that she didn’t know any better. So, she moved, almost as if out of habit, reaching for Jackie’s hand, but before Natasha actually grasps her hand, because what is she doing? her hand drops, but she twists her lips into a friendly smile. 

“There’s this Greek place that opened a couple weeks ago, that I’ve been meaning to try. Let’s go,” and she turned, hardly waiting for Jackie to follow her, because some unexplained part of her knew that Jackie would follow, the same part of her that had reached for her hand earlier. “Dinner is on me.”

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Jackie saw the other woman almost reach for her hand, and was surprised at how familiar it seemed. She frowned for a moment, staring down at Natasha's hand until Natasha spoke again. She wondered what had happened between them, and if Natasha knew about any of it. For all she knew, Natasha's memories had been altered as well.

"Are you sure?" Jackie hesitated, but Natasha was already walking, and Jackie ran ahead a little to keep up with her. She definitely wasn't allowed to do this, but she was with someone who worked here, at least. It wasn't like she was going off on her own. "You're - you're being very kind to me."

[ofwinterschill-blog]

Wipe her. Start over.

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