Live for today, hope for tomorrow.

Hi, I'm Courtney :) This is my personal blog that tends to contain a large variety. (Some is NSFW) ♥️Thanks for stopping by and don't hesitate to leave me a message sometime.

[permeate]

[liliana-fp]

[themostbeautifulanimals]

[bigyoshienergy]

She got that sleepy bitch disease babey!!!

[snorlaxatives]

people who can just plop their sweet lil heads down on their pillow and quickly fall asleep don’t know how lucky they are… i gotta construct a whole ass cinematic universe in my head with dramatic plot twists and in-depth characters to help me fall asleep

[hogwartsaheadcanon]

I was genuinely stunned when I realised not everyone told themselves elaborate internal bedtime stories every night without fail, inclusive of occasionally having to get back up out of bed to figure out a blocking issue in the mental scene that’s fucking up your ability to concerntrate on the narrative. It’s honestly only in the last few years that I’ve realised the amount of time I spend in various paracosms is not necessarily that normal, and for the life of me I cannot figure out what the fuck people who don’t do this spend their time thinking about?

My mum says she just thinks about real world stuff? All the time? Like jobs she has to do and the like?

I can remember lying in bed when I couldn’t have been any older than six mentally constructing self-insert Lord of the Rings AUs, I reckon a solid 90% of my waking life is spent with at least a background noise of some fictional scenario running through my mind, and I just find it completely fascinating how different people’s brains work because it had genuinely never occurred to me that that wasn’t just How Humans Functioned.

Brains are weird. Also I still can’t figure out what I’d do with all that time and brainspace, I can’t comprehend it at all.

[curator-at-large]

Oh yes and mine lasts for weeks. When I do fall asleep it’s like a “To Be Continued” and then the next night it starts “Previously on”

[ourladybinxthings]

I end up replaying the same five or six fictional self inserts for months. Until I find a new one

[ladyoftheteaandblood]

Been making up stories in my head to sleep for many years or constructing a landscape around me where I feel at peace.

[president-coriolanus-snow]

I do both depending on the night.

[concerningwolves]

I have characters and plots that have been growing alongside me in my head for literal years.

And I don’t, I just can’t,, understand people without?? Like, my inner world and its population are how I got through five hour art exams and handled coursework and how I entertain myself on hour long car journeys.

What were the other students in that exam room thinking about for five hours? Nothing but their art? Their own lives? Lunch? It bloody fascinates me. Does it feel empty not to have a universe in your head?? Or do these people not know because their brains are quiet.

A quiet mind is both my worst nightmare and an unattainable dream.

[heywriters]

Yeah, sometime after high school I just started writing them down. It’s to the point now where if it’s really good and the dialogue was on point I have to get back up regardless of the hour, turn on a light and write it down word for word.

In the morning my rapid cursive takes some deciphering, but then I’m like “Oh, it sounded slightly better last night, oh well, save.” Type it up and boom, headcanons archived.

[anxietywontmakethewordsgo]

Reading through all of these and i would just like to say; these are SPOT ON with symptoms and mannerisms of Maladaptive Daydreaming.

just a few bullet points about this;

extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features

daydreams triggered by real-life events

difficulty completing everyday tasks

difficulty sleeping at night

an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming

performing repetitive movements while daydreaming

making facial expressions while daydreaming

whispering and talking while daydreaming

daydreaming for lengthy periods (many minutes to hours)

(info from here)

i’ve been doing these things for as long as i can remember - literal years of building up this complex fantasy world. i could pace or lay in bed for hours doing nothing but fixing/coming up with new scenarios. music and certain real life situations will have me scrambling for something to write/type on, because it gives me new snippets to work out later.

actually, this little “gift” of mine (as my therapist calls it) is how i create most of my fanfiction - the above point about dialogue especially. and, like most of these responses, it absolutely baffles me how people can just think about reality constantly, not play out different fictional world based scenarios in their head.

TL,DR; these all sound like cases of Maladaptive Daydreaming, and it is both a gift and a curse, depending on the situation.

[embrrssed-love-deactivated20220]

It’s only maladaptive if it impedes your ability to live in the real, non-daydreaming world.

Otherwise, don’t let ANYONE define ANY quirk you have as something negative if it’s actually not. Psychiatry has historically defined all sorts of things as part of mental illness when they weren’t, and I really can’t stand to sit here and have people’s source of creativity and mental adventure reduced and redefined as a fault.

So again, if it’s taking away from your life, it’s the very definition of maladaptive. But if it’s not, there’s nothing wrong with you.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[jamezverusaum]

I honestly had no idea other people were like this. I’m 41 and I’ve been doing this my entire life. Chat based roleplay helped me with it. Then too much drama happened. Now I just write. And not sleep. But damn. I’m not alone.

[ohhellothere364]

Surgery

It’s been 4 days since I’ve had my surgery and each day that passes, I’m hoping that I’ve made a good choice. The month long recovery time that I’ve been given, has made me feel so useless. It’s made me so depressed and I feel needy. I just want company and to feel like I’m not a nuisance. 26 days.

[gretchen-buntekiste]

[mydruggedthoughts]

if you’ve ever laid in bed and cried so hard to the point where you had to cover your mouth so you didn’t make any noise, i’m so sorry

[nostalgiagetsthe-bestofme]

I really love touching. It doesn’t always have to be in a sexual way, it could be like you sitting next to me and our knees touching a little or you putting your hand on my mine, little things like that mean so much to me and I crave it, all the fucking time, it drives me insane.

[wnq-writers]

You inspired words within me that I wasn’t even sure existed.

Kristie Betts (via wnq-writers)

[midnight-sun-rising]

Laying naked with a lover is another form of intimacy. You don’t have to have sex all the time.

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via PhilipNByrne)

[ecliss-a-deactivated20231124]

Me: forever exhausted and with an endless urge to create

[ohhellothere364]

Anxiety.

I wish my brain would stop rambling for just a few moments and give me peace.

I wish I didn’t have to play out every bad scenario possible, as if to make my anxiety worse.

I wish I didn’t have to check my phone for my alarm that I KNOW is set. I wish I could check it once and not worry about it... instead, I check it so many times because I think I could’ve shut it off with the last time I checked.

I wish I didn’t have to constantly check to make sure I shut my door (5 times exactly to pull on the door knob to make sure it’s shut). I wish I could believe my own thoughts, when I know I’ve turned off an appliance or styling tool, and have to drive all the way back home to check.

I have to make sure I can find my dog in my house before I sleep, even though I know I let her in. Before I can leave the house, I have to make sure I can find all 3 of my cats, to make sure one didn’t get out.

I wish I could sit throughout the day and not be paranoid I didn’t shut my car off(automatic/push start) and then have to check it multiple times a day.

This is consuming me.

I don’t think anyone will read this but I needed to write it out. I feel crazy.

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[transparalyze]

[thekhoolhaus]

My fave time of day

[fencehopping]

Electron microscope video of a needle on a vinyl record.

[afloydianslip-deactivated201705]

H O W 

like you can tell me all you want how the sound is stored in the grooves but fucking H O W 

HOW DOES THAT GET INTO THE NEEDLE

HOW ARE THE VIBRATIONS TURNED INTO MUSIC THAT YOU CAN HEAR???

H O W

[disparition]

The vibrations aren’t “turned into” music, they are music. When vibrations occur inside your inner ear, your brain processes this as sound.

The grooves in a record are an analogy for these vibrations, a method of remembering them so that they can be recreated later on. 

Put your hand on a speaker while loud music is playing and you’ll feel the vibrations. Those are exactly the same vibrations happening inside your ear when you hear the music. 

But how do you capture that? 

Take a surface that vibrates strongly when a sound is played, like the skin of a drumhead for example. Connect that surface to a little tool - when sound causes the surface to vibrate, the tool digs a little bit into some wax, leaving behind a pattern that matches - in proportion - the vibrations of the surface caused by the sound. This is your analogy (hence: analog music). 

Now, when there’s no sound playing, you run that little tool back over the pattern. This causes the skin to vibrate again, this time in response to the tool running over the pattern instead of because of an external sound. The vibrations should match, proportionally, the original vibrations of the music.. and thus these new vibrations, if you were to amplify them, would be a recreation or “recording” of the original music. 

That’s oversimplified of course and things have changed a lot since the days of wax, but that is very basically how the process of recording music worked at first, and the general idea of how sound gets from a groove in a record into your brain. 

[roe-your-boat]

(reblogging for Disparition commentary) 

[mr-hoodrat-deactivated20170607]

Thank you Science side of tumblr

[burndownmiddletown-deactivated2]

I hugely appreciate people taking to the time explain stuff like this, as it helps put an end to the “wow, science is magic!” trope that’s become far too common.

[jodyohsnap]

How do you tell someone that the reason you’re sad is because you love them?

You’ll stop replying soon anyway. - j.e.o. (via jodyohsnap)