41. Hit us with that free association, bay-beeee!
character development questions! (accepting)
41. What associations do they bring to mind? Words or phrases, images, metaphors, or motifs? Why?
We are REALLY leaning into the "free" part of "free association" because while, as per the question, I do have some deep, introspective associations for Niyusu, I also have some totally-but-maybe-not-so-random light-hearted associations. I'll start with those and work from there.
One that actually happened very recently is the association with that typical fake cotton candy scent. That is not what it smells like, but it still smells good, if one enjoys it. It's a very bright and notable scent. It's fun, and perhaps intensified and romanticized compared to the real deal. Maybe it elicits memories of a good time long past. It's not because Niyusu is also pink and blue (mostly)! It's vibes, y'know?
Hummingbirds are another one: they're small, they're fast, and they're colorful. There's also an interesting juxtaposition with hummingbirds being pollinators, which help produce life, and Niyusu working for an organization that does much of the opposite. Also, hummingbirds aren't social, and while Niyusu isn't lonely by choice, I think it still plays into the theme of loneliness. Stick a pin in this, I want to work more with it.
On the topic of themes, grief, loneliness, and family are big with Niyusu.
There is a quote in my queue that reads, "Sooner or later I’m going to have to think about it, and then I’m going to be a real mess." I saw this and went, "that is literally her." Niyusu's way of dealing with the grief life has wrought upon her is to push it down, because she genuinely cannot think about it right now, tomorrow, in a month, etc. It might spell some kind of undoing—vulnerability—that Niyusu cannot safely face right now.
Niyusu's grief and regret are a gray thing that lingers in the background. It's not a screaming red, it's not an all-consuming void of black, but it's just there, gray and present. Not at the forefront, but around. It, too, adapts.
Loneliness and family go hand in hand. In my headcanon and portrayal of Niyusu, I've given her three younger siblings. She was very close with them, loved them a lot, and she hasn't seen them in a while. Niyusu and her squad are tight; they'd do anything for each other—it's a found family sort of deal. However, it's an ever-fragile thing. It could easily be broken up by something as simple as a reassignment, or as tragic—and not impossible—as a death.
Space, and, oddly, because I didn't think of it this way, repetitive aspects of her work (managing other societies and people that have been what feels irrevocably changed that niyusu could see herself in), serve as motifs for these themes. Niyusu isn't necessarily alone in space, for there are inhabited planets around, and she works with people, maybe even tries to pull some thin strings. But, being around people does not make one not lonely. It's having fulfilling and meaningful relationships and connections that count. Likewise, curiosity is a big trait with Niyusu, so imagine being in space, which has so much potential for endless learning, and you can't even dig into it? Not like how you'd want to, at least. Combining space with Niyusu's present predicament, it comments on being trapped, literally and figuratively.
Lastly, and I'm not sure if this is just The Great Gatsby being one of my favorite books and I'm making a stretch, but the metaphor and last phrase of the book struck me as a bit Niyusu-ish: "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." It's in the spirit of the "carry on despite everything" mentality I'm depicting Niyusu with, with a bonus "will things ever change?" aspect.
As I remember it, TGG has an almost dissociative, 'from afar despite being in the thick of it' feel to it. And really! How COULD a person make perfect, utter sense of the fever-dream events that happen? I feel there is a similar vibe that applies to Niyusu. How exactly does one adapt to a massive, long-term change that doesn't align with one's morals? Putting things into neat little boxes, shutting the door, and taking a step back.
