otto’s parting words had felt like a punch to the gut ; well, a few punches to the gut. she was breathless for a good ten minutes before she finally moved to take a long, scolding hot shower. she had to think of something to say to him when and if he even decided to come home. she wouldn’t, if she were him. roan’s fists curl up against the tile wall before began to hit it over and over. she’s gasping, tears rolling down her cheeks, and she finally sinks against the wall. when she looks down at her hands, they’re all bruised. a scoff escapes her lips and she pushes herself up from the wall and she digs her teeth into her lower lip. the shower’s turned off and she steps out to pull a towel around her frame. her hands are trembling and she sticks her hands beneath cold water in the sink. a hiss escapes her and she turns to walk into their bedroom. roan slid into a pair of underwear and sweats and a tank top. despite how warm it was, she was so cold.
her mother was right, she would screw this up somehow, and she feels like she really has. she made him feel like an abuser. swallowing thickly, she grabbed her phone to check and see if he’d called or texted and then she climbed onto the middle of their bed. tears still roll down her cheeks and she runs her fingertips over her bruised knuckles and she startles when she hears footsteps. roan looks up and she sighs with relief, her frame shaking when she sees her boyfriend. “i am so sorry. i am… so fucking sorry for EVER making you feel like that. i don’t want you to ever… ever feel like less of a person or like you’re h-hurting me. you’re the kindest, sweetest… most amazing man i have ever met in my entire life and you deserve nothing but the best. you deserve to be treated like a fucking king, otto. i just knew you were irritated about something and i didn’t want to irritate you further, it h-had nothing to do with me being scared of you. if you don’t w-want me anymore, because i make you feel that way, i completely understand. i promise… i wouldn’t be angry with you. i’m more angry at myself… so fucking angry, otto. making you leave your own home is something i have never wanted.” roan wipes away her tears and she swallows the lump in her throat before looking down at her hands ; she just feels nauseous. “you’ve never been awful to me. you’ve treated me with kindness and respect and i need to remember that not everyone is out here to hurt me. it’s r-really hard, but i will figured it out.” roan nods and chews on her lower lip.
as soon as he’d set foot out the door he’d felt guilty about leaving the way he had. he might have overreacted, he had convinced himself that he had. he was so scared of hurting her, whichever way that was possible, that any hint that he had, or could -- he couldn’t control the sickly feeling that it bought along with it. he’d rang his brother instead of going over there, stayed in the car and tried to work out what he should do. his brother had told him that he had to talk to her, explain himself -- understand where she was coming from, too. they’d been both raised incredibly differently. his mother might not have been the greatest, but she was hardly evil. he admired her still, loved her but did not necessarily like her. whereas, he knew that roan’s parents were a completely different matter entirely. more so like the stories rupert had told him of his own. he hadn’t completely believed that wealth wasn’t everything until he’d met them. for a little while, he listened to some music. tried his best to get his words together inside of his head. he didn’t want anything he said to be misconstrued. when he thinks he has them together, he exhales and turns his music off, and exits the vehicle. he doesn’t believe this is the end of anything, he believes he got sad and he had to leave for a little while. he believes there’s still a lot they have to learn about one another, he believes that he has to work on his sensitivities. he wasn’t usually so sensitive, but he considered this important. he loved roan with everything inside of himself, he needed her to know she could talk to him. regardless of where his mood might have been.
once he sees her, and she’s talking to him, he listens. that’s all he does at first. he doesn’t talk over her, he doesn’t even think of it. he needs to know where her head’s at, and it makes him feel a lot better about everything knowing that she wasn’t scared of him, and didn’t think he’d ever hurt her. he wouldn’t, it wasn’t possible for him to. once she’s finished, he takes a seat next to her. he frowns down at her hands, and gently traces across the bruises that he finds there. “i’ll never stop...wanting you, roan. you’re the only person in the whole world i’ve ever felt this way about, before. ever.” he sighs quietly, and looks up at her then, “i was wrong for leaving, i shouldn’t have done that. i...reacted a lot, and i’m sorry.” he whispers, and presses kisses across her knuckles. “i don’t want you to ever be worried about talking to me." he frowns a little. “we’re both still...learning how this works, i get why...you’d not trust anyone, the two people you were supposed to trust the most fucked up and let you down, and hurt you. i get that.” he swallows thickly. “but i’m not them and i never will be, i swear it. i’ll talk to you more too, about what’s going on in my head. you’re not a mindreader, i’m sorry too.”
