|| Mi padre thinks it's cool to tell me how much of a serving I should and shouldn't eat. I don't mind the conversation, or suggestion, though I did ask him in the past not to comment on what I eat, to leave me alone and not micromanage what I do and don't eat and when I am in the kitchen. However, he was yelling and fretting at me, while simultaneously not allowing me to speak or respond. I have asked him not to yell at me in the past as well. But all of this is beside the point. I went to a ED (and other disorders) treatment facility for 8 whole months, a very, expensive, accredited one. The help I got there was amazing. The fact that I eat at all, is amazing. I have had severe EDNOS- psychiatrist believes it's, trauma based OCD or PTSD reaction- so that's why the diagnosis is kind of muddy. But, all in all, it's still very much a serious ED I've had since the age of 10, I think, maybe younger idk. Anyway, at the treatment facility they said, it's okay to eat and feed your body. But we never talked about portion control, or frequency, or even diet/nutrition. But, it was more of an intuitive approach. I have a habit of, repititious eating safe foods- I wasn't aware there was any binging- but perhaps minor at times, due to scarcity and, god knows what else- I don't understand binging- I don't understand, the whole ED tbh. I'm not an informed psychologist lol. But I do know, eating good- not eating, not good. I thought I was doing well, eating. Since I do eat, now. Two or Three times a day typically. When I am hungry, I eat. It's that simple. I try to pick the right things, healthy things, protein, and keep what I do know about nutrition in mind. Yes, at times, I don't do my best- and will fall into 'safe food' or repitious eating. Part of the reason for this is mainly, I don't want to cook around my dad in the kitchen because it's not a safe space to cook in, it's triggering, he yells at me, he micromanages, he talks talks talks- and all the words he says, whether they are meant with well intentions or not, are really damaging, difficult to deal with, and sometimes, come across very much so, the wrong way- or are delivered in a percieved, stressed and hostile tone. No one wants to be yelled or fretted at every time they eat. But because he is an unhealthy parent, and I'm in therapy for this. Or he has, unhealthy behaviors. He, yells at me, essentially. About, my eating. My cooking. Micromanaging. Worrying. Commanding, Demanding, Belittling. As if that's going to help. It's good to be in reality, to have an outside observer who is… a reliable, safe, support to, inform me if I am off and don't, recognize it- or something, you know. But in my opinion… all I was doing was making a bowl of oatmeal. He suggested, that because he is a grown man- (300 pounds, he over eats- notoriously, struggles with food/sugar addictions emotional/stress eating etc.) But yeah he suggested, because he is a grown man and when he makes oatmeal, he only eats 1/2 a cup- and that is enough of a serving to eat in one sitting. I've always made a full 1 cup. I'm talking years here. I've, always, consistently eaten it that way. Even, when I was a child, and making my breakfast from the little pack oatmeals, in the microwave- I figured out that making 2-4 bags was better than just 1- because I was freakin hungry, and for my metabolism, I needed that much food to get through the day to the next, point of, needing food again. Do I have a possible thyroid, metabolic absorption/processing gut issues, and maybe a too fast metabolism- or something- maybe, I don't know. All I know is that I am often significantly starving despite doing my best to eat, balanced nutrition, frequently enough, in normal portions. I've seen professional nutritionists, dietitions, endocrinologist/functional medicine doctor- with extensive blood testing, to try and explain my severe deficiencies- I have quite a few. As to why- it would require further testing and such to try to
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