Everyone fears something
Osamu Dazai (Bungo Stray Dogs) omorashi
Summary: Dazai has a fear of motorcycles but he's forced to ride one with Chuuya after a mission. Unfortunately he also really needs to pee.
This was 100% not my idea. All credit goes to the anon who sent it to me 🫶🏻I liked it so much I needed to write it.
"What do you mean we have to take your motorcycle back??" Dazai stared at Chuuya in disbelief after he was told they would be using it to get back to Yokohama.
Double black had just finished a gruelling mission that lasted a majority of the day and well into the night. They were both exhausted and ready to get back home but now Dazai was dreading it.
He had never been on a motorcycle before and the thought of it freaked him out. If he fell off, not only would it not kill him; it would leave him with road burn if he was lucky and broken bones if not.
"What's the big deal?" Chuuya paused before grinning. "Do you mean to tell me that the legendary youngest Mafia executive in history is afraid of a motorcycle?"
"Absolutely not." Dazai shook his head though he knew Chuuya had figured him out.
"You're not scared of guns, knives, death, or torture but you're scared of a motorcycle?" He scoffed. "Come on let's get going. I'm tired from doing a majority of all the heavy lifting."
He made his way to the shiny red Ducati and looked at Dazai, silently beaconing him to get on.
Dazai slowly started making his way towards it before he stopped when he remembered he had something he needed to take care of. "I have to pee first."
Chuuya rolled his eyes. "Walk off and I'm leaving your ass here."
"Is Chuuya saying he wants me to whip out my d-"
Chuuya cut him off by starting it. "It's now or never. I have to get gas anyway so you can go when we stop."
Though he was partially saying it to buy himself time to calm down, Dazai wasn't entirely lying about needing the bathroom. He had been holding it for at least an hour now and it was starting to get annoying.
"I have some protective clothes if that makes you feel any better." Chuuya offered when it was apparent that Dazai was extremely apprehensive about getting on the bike with him.
Dazai wanted to say no because that almost felt ridiculous but it did beat getting road burn if something happened and he fell off. "Yes please." He said softly, a blush spreading across his face. There was no way Chuuya wouldn't make fun of him for this.
But he didn't. He pulled out a one piece suit that was solid black aside from some red on the sides of it. Dazai didn't ask why Chuuya happened to have one his size, he assumed it was from their Mafia days. He was always able to get out of it back then but his luck had run out. Chuua had offered him a helmet too but Dazai refused. If he had to come to an abrupt stop and Dazai's helmet hit him in the head, it could knock him unconscious.
Getting the suit on was a bit of a struggle and Dazai's bladder was not happy about all the movement; but he eventually got it on then sat behind Chuuya. He made sure and left plenty of space between their bodies so he wasn't directly touching him.
"Ready?"
"Ready." Dazai replied flatly.
As soon as Chuuya took off, the distance between them was closed. Dazai clung to Chuuya like he was the only thing keeping him on earth. Everything was moving so fast and the wind in his ears made it nearly impossible to hear anything.
He wanted this to be over with and soon. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was starting to feel dizzy. On top of that, his fear was really making his bladder start to bother him more. To put it plainly, Dazai was miserable.
Part of him wanted to get Chuuya's attention to ask him to stop but the other part of Dazai just wanted to get this ordeal over with. This was something he was never going to do again.
Chuuya hit a small bump, which made Dazai audibly gasp and clench his thighs against Chuuya's without realizing he did it.
A few minutes later Chuuya started to slow down before coming to a stop. Dazai opened his eyes and saw they were stopped at a little gas station. As soon as Chuuya stopped completely, Dazai got off of the bike so fast he nearly tripped over himself.
Rather than mocking him though, Chuuya didn't say anything. It's almost like he understood that Dazai was not enjoying this at all.
"I'm going to use the bathroom." He mumbled before quickly making his way inside. Now that the adrenaline was starting to wear off, he realized his bladder was almost completely full and he really needed to go.
Dazai made it inside the small gas station and headed towards the bathrooms hastily before he heard a woman's voice. "Excuse me, sir the bathrooms are closed." A young woman behind the counter called as he made his way towards them.
Dazai swallowed, turning around nervously. "Both of them?"
"Yeah, I'm afraid so." She offered him a sympathetic look when she noticed how he was starting to shift his weight. "I'm sorry."
Dazai did his best to fake a smile. "It's okay, no worries." He said in his fake cheerful voice before hastily leaving. When he came back out, Chuuya was waiting for him.
"Get to piss?"
Seeing the cursed motorcycle almost made Dazai want to cry.
"Bathrooms are closed." He sighed in frustration, not even trying to hide it. "I've been holding it since we completed the mission."
"I'll try to find somewhere to stop, okay?" Chuuya didn't look judgemental, in fact he looked sympathetic. "How bad is it?"
"Pretty bad." Dazai admitted, swaying from side to side as they talked. "I can't hold it much longer. And being on the back of...that thing isn't helping."
"I know." Chuuya put the gas pump back up before starting it again. "Come on, I promise I'll take it easy on you. As soon as I find somewhere to stop, I will."
Part of Dazai wanted to kick and scream at the thought of getting back on Chuuya's bike but he didn't have a choice. His hands started to tremble uncontrollably.
He went to sit down, only to feel the buttons of his pants dig into his stomach, making his bladder throb.
"Fuck." He whined. He reached down to unbutton his pants but the zipper of his suit, which ended under his belly button prevented him from doing so. He squirmed, pressing his crotch against the seat for a moment until the urgency subsided temporarily.
He sat back down behind Chuuya, holding onto him tightly even though they weren't moving yet.
"Ready?" Chuuya asked.
"I guess." Dazai said with a defeated sigh. It was uncomfortable having his legs forced apart like that while he needed the bathroom.
This time Chuuya took off slowly but it didn't help Dazai's anxiety any. He couldn't sit still but he also knew he couldn't move around too much or he could cause the motorcycle to fall over.
But it was getting harder and harder for him to hold it, especially with his legs being forced apart and the occasional bounce when Chuuya hit a small pot hole. His anxiety about being on the motorcycle was still very prevalent too.
"You okay?" Chuuya asked. The only reason Dazai heard him was because his head was resting on Chuuya's back.
"No." Dazai groaned miserably. "I really need to pee. I feel like my bladder is about to explode." As if on cue, he felt his bladder throb as if he were about to lose control. He pressed himself against the seat and tried to assuage it but it didn't help at all this time. He groaned in frustration and at the pain in his stomach. It felt like his bladder was being squeezed from the inside.
"I know. You're doing so good, I promise I'll stop as soon as I find somewhere." Chuuya didn't sound annoyed with him at all which made Dazai feel so much better. He was afraid Chuuya would start lecturing him or yell at him for not relieving himself when he had the chance.
Every time Chuuya turned, Dazai felt a slight bit of hope that they would find some place that wasn't crawling with people but everywhere they went was crowded. He bit his lip and continued to press himself into the seat until it stopped being enough.
He tapped Chuuya's thigh with the old Mafia code they used to use in situations where talking was forbidden or unsafe..
'I can't hold it much longer.' Dazai tapped on Chuuya's leg since it was too loud for Chuuya to hear him. The hand that wasn't tapping Chuuya's thigh was between his shaking legs holding himself.
He looked down at his lap only to realize there wasn't a zipper for the front which meant he was going to have to take the entire thing off to pee. That could be a major problem.
When he wasn't paying attention, Chuuya swerved to miss something which almost caused Dazai to lose balance and fall off. He let go of his crotch and hung on to Chuuya for dear life, thinking they were about to crash.
"Sorry, a dog ran out in front of me. It's okay." Chuuya said but Dazai could barely hear him over his panic.
A strong urge in his bladder made Dazai groan audibly, followed by a long leak that he was barely able to stop. When he looked down between his legs, he could see a slight wetness on the seat.
Chuuya was going to be so mad... Dazai's eyes started to burn.
'Chuuya, now!' Dazai tapped on his thigh, barely able to hold his bladder. It hurt so much and the bandages around his waist were suddenly all he could think about. He didn't remember wrapping them that tight. Or maybe it was because his bladder was so full he imagined it would be visible. There had been plenty of times when he got so desperate to pee that he could see his swollen bladder.
Chuuya slowed down and turned down an alley way where they would have privacy before coming to a complete stop. He turned his motorcycle off and climbed off it if.
Dazai was frozen on the back of it, afraid to even attempt to move. "I'm going to wet myself..." He mumbled, tears starting to gather in his eyes. He didn't know why he wanted to cry so badly but he guessed it had something to do with his exhaustion stacked on with his anxiety from the ride.
"You're okay, there's no one around. I'll help you."
He took Dazai's hand that wasn't glued to his crotch and gently helped him get off his motorcycle so he didn't cause the younger man to pee himself.
"The suit..." Dazai was frantically stepping from foot to foot and rubbing his thighs together which made him extremely aware of the wetness between them.
"I can't get it off without..." His voice broke and a few tears escaped that he didn't bother trying to hide. He had bigger issues at the moment.
"Calm down...I'll help you get it off but you've gotta stand still, okay?"
Dazai forced himself to stop moving while Chuuya started working on unzipping him. The zipper was down the front but Dazai's hands were shaking too much to try to do it himself.
Another leak came out and this time Dazai swore he could see some of it splash on the ground. "Chuuya..." His voice came out as more of a sob than anything.
"You're fine, Osamu I've just about got it undone. Sorry, the zipper got stuck." Chuuya finally got it unzipped the rest of the way with a hard tug. "Can you get it off from here or do you need me to help?"
"Please just get this fucking thing off of me." He bent at his knees and shoved both hands in his damp crotch again. "I can't ...I can't hold it"
"Yes you can, you're doing great." Chuuya pulled Dazai's arms out of the sleeves when he stood back up as best as he could and started making his way to the bottom part of the suit. Once Chuuya had pulled the top part down, it put a huge amount of pressure on Dazai's bladder, making him start frantically squirming again. "Sorry ..it's kinda hard to get it off of someone else. I almost have it though." Chuuya patted Dazai's back to reassure him.
"I can't." A sob escaped him before Dazai even knew it was coming. "I can't move...I'm going to..."
Chuuya positioned himself behind Dazai and placed his hand on top of the bandaged man's trembling one on his crotch. "Just try and calm down. Tell me when I can let go."
Having Chuuya's hands on top of his did help Dazai a slight bit but now he was afraid he would accidentally lose control and get his pee on them both.
"Are you okay for me to let go and help you get the rest of the suit off?"
"Maybe..." His voice broke which added to his shame. This had been one of the most humiliating situations he had ever been in before.
Chuuya let go of Dazai's hand and started working on getting the rest of the suit down so he could at least get it past Dazai's legs. He could tell that Dazai was fighting with himself to stand still. His fingers were twitching and he occasionally rocked back and forth but he made sure he wasn't affecting Chuuya's efforts to get him undressed.
"Chuuya." He warned.
"I know, I'm trying." He knelt down in front of Dazai to try and pull harder on the suit but when he did, Dazai made a noise of distress and pulled away.
"You're pushing on my bladder." He whined, crossing his legs and bending over in any last ditch efforts of holding it. "Fuck, Chuuya I can't. It hurts so bad." His voice cracked and he felt more tears threatening to spill.
"I'm sorry..." Chuuya gritted his teeth in annoyance at how difficult it was to get Dazai's suit down. He noticed the crotch part was damp which could be part of the problem. While he was knelt down in front of the younger man, he noticed how swollen his bladder was. It had to be extremely painful for him.
After one last attempt to pull it down, Dazai made a panicked sound and backed away from Chuuya. He couldn't wait any longer no matter what he tried.
"No..." He covered his eyes with the crook of his elbow as he finally lost control of his bladder. It started emptying itself full force into his clothes and the protective gear he borrowed from Chuuya.
The relief felt amazing but it didn't make Dazai feel any better about his situation whatsoever.
While he was still in the process of emptying his bladder in his clothes, Dazai felt Chuuya come up behind him and wrap his arms around him.
"It's okay..." Chuuya said softly.
"I'm sorry...Chuuya I really tried..." Panic started to swirl through Dazai's mind for the first time in what felt like forever. He felt like he might be about to have a panic attack.
"I know you did." Chuuya tightened his embrace. "You don't have to apologize. There was nothing you could do. I bet you feel better now huh?"
The splashing sound finally slowed down then stopped altogether after a few minutes. Dazai stepped away from the puddle he made before his eyes started to blur with tears. Why? Why was he about to cry and make everything worse for himself?
"I can't...I can't get back on your motorcycle."
Chuuya playfully rolled his eyes. "I've been covered in worse after a mission. I don't mind getting a bit of pee on me."
"No, I mean..." The panic started to make his throat feel like it was about to close in. Now that he didn't have his bladder to distract him, he could focus on how terrified he was of riding on Chuuya's motorcycle. He closed his eyes and focused on slowing his breathing before he had a panic attack.
Chuuya grabbed his arm gently and led him to a stack of milk crates left in the alley way where he helped him sit down.
"Are you scared?"
Dazai wanted to scoff and pretend that he wasn't but he knew it was obvious that was the issue. He nodded, looking down at his lap only to be reminded of...
A few tears ran down his face before he could stop them. Why did this have to happen? Why was he so scared over something so ridiculous? Why was he crying?
"It's fine if you are." Chuuya continued, crouching down beside Dazai where he sat on the discarded milk crates. "There are things I'm scared of too."
A hand started to rub up and down his back, scratching gently. "Did I ever tell you about the time I was on a mission and I had to stop and take a leak? It was a pretty crowded area so I had to go behind a bush. I felt something weird touch my leg so I looked down and...it was a snake. Just a small one. Probably nonvenomous too but it freaked me out so bad that I....well y'know. I didn't need to take a piss anymore."
The mental image Dazai painted of Chuuya screaming like a child and peeing himself over a small snake was all it took for him to smile. By now his tears had already stopped. "You're lucky I didn't know about that when we were teenagers."
"I know. That's exactly why I made sure and never mentioned it to you. I could see you finding a snake and putting it in my bed or something." Chuuya stopped scratching Dazai's back and stood up, offering his hand.
"I really don't want to get back on your motorcycle." He took Chuuya's hand and stood up, cringing when he felt the wetness between his legs.
"What can I do to make you feel safe? We still have a good half hour until we get back to Yokohama so you can't just walk." Chuuya looked down at Dazai's wet pants. "And what do you want to do about those?"
When Dazai noticed Chuuya looking, he crossed his legs in a futile attempt to hide it out of embarrassment. "Are there any hotels nearby?"
Chuuya shook his head. "Even if there were, we don't have anything with us. No clothes, no toiletries, nothing. I can stop and get you a change of clothes though if that would make you feel better."
"I just want to get home and never be on another motorcycle again." Dazai felt a cool breeze blow by and he started to shiver. His wet pants were starting to make him feel cold.
"I know." Chuuya seemed to take note of him shivering. "Want to get it over with?"
With a long sigh, Dazai nodded. He was anything but ready to get on the motorcycle again but he didn't have a choice. "I'm sorry...I'm going to get my pee on you and the bike." He mumbled.
"It's fine, clothes can be washed and I can clean it off when I get home. If you need me to stop, just tap the word 'stop' on my leg or back, okay?"
"Alright, let's go." Dazai held on to Chuuya as tight as he could without hurting him and closed his eyes. His head rested against Chuuya's shoulder.
Rather than focusing on his fear, Dazai tried to concentrate on the wet sensation between his legs. It was just as unpleasant but if he wanted to avoid a panic attack, he needed to distract himself any way he could.
Chuuya's apartment was closer than Dazai's so they decided to spend the night there and Chuuya would take him home the next day.
When he stopped, Dazai was shaking too much to get off by himself so Chuuya had to help him get off again. This was truly the most humiliating experience in Dazai's almost 23 years of being alive.
The only thing that made him feel even slightly better was how kind Chuuya had been to him through everything.
They made their way to Chuuya's place in complete silence because they were both exhausted from the mission.
As soon as they made it inside, Dazai made a beeline for the bathroom, eager to get the wet clothes he had been wearing off. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he noticed his eyes were bloodshot and it was obvious that he had been crying.
A knock at the door made him jump. "Do you need any help getting your suit off?"
As tempting as it was to say yes, Dazai had bothered Chuuya enough for the day. Or a lifetime. He wasn't ever going to live this down.
"I'm fine, thanks though." Dazai realized how tired his voice sounded. "About today-"
"It's fine. I'm not going to bring it up to anyone, ever again." Chuuya paused for a second before speaking up again. "Can you let me in?"
"For?"
Though he couldn't see Chuuya, he knew the red head was rolling his eyes. "It's my house dumbass....and I need to pee."
"Fair enough."
