I Still Beleive In War

[ivegotwarinmind]

[onemorecigarette]

I will try my hardest not to love you forever and I will try my hardest to expect the same in return, to stop regretting my crazy tactics, to stop remembering why we ended up here and I will count all of my blessing, like I was taught in life and if you're not one of them, I will try my hardest to be alright because I felt content next to your breathing and I found solace in your arms, even though I know I knew better then to fall for such a lie.

[onemorecigarette]

Just The Way You Are

The kind of thing you kill for Sweet and steady when you smile Balanced in its nature A Terrifying kind of lie Keep you guessing for eternity An almost little thing Turning into big decisions Before you both could blink Now we're wrapped up in blankets And lingering around silly kinds of things Missing you forever Waking up just to fall again

[forlatenight-thoughts]

inkskinned

[petty-it-girl-in-pink]

[onemorecigarette]

Comparing you to the idea of of heaven is probably pretty dramatic But I do not know how else to describe The way that I see tufts of clouds in your eyes Or how I stare at them for hours trying to make shapes. “Look everyone, I think that one is a plane!” And I know it is kind of lame to say that touching you is like being born on that day But I swear I feel the earths axis tilts in an opposite direction when you say that you miss me. Like when I am riding in your car and it’s loud enough to wake the state but somehow I am at peace in this stuffed place.

With you. Oh, only with you.

Yes I could die right here and I have said that before about different people but baby I swear I could, I swear.

[onemorecigarette]

Lost in my head I find myself somewhere in your bed And when you see my toes Sticking out of the blanket You cover them as you walk by And crawl in beside me I want to touch you Glide my hand across your chest But I'm afraid it won't be received So I'll love you with my eyes Pretend your mine for tonight And wish that morning never comes

[onemorecigarette]

You don't care if I stay or not, as long as I check the closet for monsters before I go. So I rub your back until you fall asleep, make sure all the doors are locked when I go and count every footstep it takes to get to me car-- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and just like that, the night is over and I long for the next time I will see you again.

[onemorecigarette]

Because I can't stop thinking about you

He may lay all his weight on me, I'd allow him, crush my wind pipe, grind his shoulder against my collar bones as kiss my lips and makes his way down to my thighs. No I do not mind his tongue in my mouth and somewhere in loosing my mind, my pulls my pants to expose more bones and licks everyone of them as I moan. Yes, he can stay here if he pleases, he can have my body, he can keep the pieces.

[onemorecigarette]

How I Feel Now

Dying for a love that I will never gain Listening to my forever repeating brain I am changing and you remain the same May our paths forever be estranged

[onemorecigarette]

All the Things my Cigarette Does for Me That You Don't

Touches my lips And laces in between my fingers. My cigarette sits in the dark with me When you are not around. It burns for me And it talks to me, It asks how my day was And tells me to relax. My cigarette makes art for me In the silhouettes of winding smoke, Comforts me when I feel alone.

But you don’t. No.

My cigarettes does not break my heart, Does not punish me for being right. It does not hold grudges And it does not judge, It does not leave me When a conversation gets rough. My cigarette doesn’t hate me, My cigarettes doesn’t gloat. My cigarette tells me all of it secrets As you disappear into the smoke.

[onemorecigarette]

Another beautiful day spent laying in my bed alone, with the curtains drawn and no one at home.

[onemorecigarette]

And now I'm drowning in it

This life I have with you is fucking exhausting and your excuse is that I do it to myself, like how can I still love you when I’m standing in your kitchen and you’re screaming at me to get out? Because I make decisions based on fear and you are the other way around, waking me up to tell me you love me and then pushing me to the ground. I’ll never be your porn star wife and I’ll never give a fuck about fast cars but I like to watch you breath while you sleep. That’s not something worth fighting for? You make me loose sleep, you make me forget to eat and I hate you for those things. I fell in love and now I’m drowning in it. LET ME BREATH.

[onemorecigarette]

My gut was empty when I woke today Void of any feeling worth savoring. I tried to go back to sleep, I tried to pretend you were dead But there is this constant knocking in my head that tells me I am alone

[onemorecigarette]

When you objectify yourself to someone else's behavior, you almost begin to identify with it. You start to feel like their actions are a direct response of how you made them feel and so, somehow, you are wrong, even if you don't have a logical reason why. You want to make this person happy, you want to make them happen because of you, not because of anything else and so you live your life thinking of this person in every decision that you make-- this can be healthy, if the other person is responsive and wishes to do the same for you but it can also be extremely unhealthy if the other person begins to expect it with nothing in return. Still, after countless times of feeling as though your intentions do not resonate, you continue to try harder, to the point where you almost become desperate to receive attention and love and gratitude from this person and maybe that will happen eventually but somewhere in eventually, you have lost what is important to you and what makes you happy and you forget that your happiness does not actually depend on this person-- it doesn't and eventually you accept this and kick yourself for wasting so much valuable time aching for hopes and dreams that have an unlikely probability. So here is to recognizing unlikely probability.

[hadeiadel-blog]

[yhippie]

First day at school, Gaza, Palestine.

this is the most important thing right now.

this gave me goose bumps

[1000drawings]

Paula Bonet