I Won't Give Up

I write Onkey.

[onkeywritings]

read on aff or ao3

here or here

[onkeywritings]

Beautiful Life

Rating: G

Warnings: N/A

Beautiful Life part 1 (before X)

When Jinki isn’t studying fresh-water fish and baleen whales, he is sipping black coffee in a secluded spot in his favourite café. The barista, a senior named Yunho, knows him all too well and has taken it upon himself to gently jab at Jinki’s lack of life every time he enters.

But it isn’t Jinki’s fault that he is a marine biology student and that he wants to be the best student in his class. And to be the best, he has to study.

Jinki’s interest of all things marine has been there for as long as he remembers. A memory game with sounds as a toddler and ever since then, he’d fallen asleep to the gentle song from the giant whales.

Jinki knows his major is looked down upon by some people.

His mother wanted him to be a doctor, his father saw him as a lawyer. Jinki, however, could only see himself as a marine biologist - and a good one at that.

So he’d pursued his passion and it led to a lot of black coffee and minimum hours of sleep to become the best.

A group of girls, freshmen Jinki assumes, stumble into the café and chatters loudly about an idol.

“He’s so cute!” one of them says and shows her cellphone to the other’s in the group. They continue their conversation about the idol while they order and Jinki looks up to grin at Yunho.

Yunho subtly tries to flip him off but Jinki just shakes his head fondly and tunes out the excited squeals and the male voice that sounds throughout the café when the girls loudly play the music video.

As they file out of the café again with their frappuccino’s and cafe latte’s, they silence after them is both pleasant and deafening.

Jinki returns to his text books and he doesn’t look up when he hears Yunho loudly drum his fingers on the desk.

“Jinks!” a shrill voice says and two slender arms wrap around his neck. The weight on his back forces him towards the table.

“Junghee!” he says and tries to shake her off but Junghee stands her ground. She’s a lot stronger than she looks, but Jinki doesn’t make the mistakes of assuming anything about her anymore. It would be needless too, considering they’ve been best friends since elementary school and share everything.

When she lets go and removes herself from behind him to sit in the chair opposite of him, Jinki reaches up to massage his neck gently. Junghee leans over the desk and takes a sip of his lukewarm coffee before she scrounges up her nose in that cute way that makes Jinki want to protect her forever.

“Guess who just asked me out on a date?” Junghee says excitedly when she’s forgotten about the disgusting coffee.

“Uuuuh.”

Jinki tries to remember, he really does, but he comes up short. There are plenty of people interested in Junghee, but few she has any interest in. Junghee sighs when she realises her best friend really doesn’t know.

“Tall, brown hair, gorgeous body?” she tries but Jinki doesn’t look any less confused. So she continues. “English major, loud obnoxious laughter?”

Jinki shakes his head and sighs.

“Oh for god’s sake, Jinki, come on. It’s Minho!”

“Minho?” he asks. “Wait, Minho? As in Choi Minho who you’ve been pining over the last year Minho?”

Junghee sighs in relief.

“Yes!” she exclaims and her features light up in a giddy, girly smile. That’s not something Jinki often sees on her face and he wrinkles his nose.

She laughs and reaches over to close his books. Jinki protests but Junghee isn’t having any of that when she stuffs his now-wrinkled papers into his bag followed by the books and drags him out to “celebrate being noticed by the hottest man on campus”.

Two weeks follow and Jinki is busier than ever. He needs to find scuba-diving gear before the class start in another two weeks and he has yet to finish a big essay on kelp forests as eco systems that is due Friday.

So Jinki feels pretty hung up with dark circles under his eyes and probably wrinkles on his cheek from when he fell asleep over his textbooks in the morning.

Yunho looks at him with pity and hands him an espresso on the side, just to make sure Jinki stays awake, and Jinki - tired as he is - doesn’t watch his steps as he walks towards his table.

As fate wants it, his bag is open and the books in it tilt until they tumble out. With a squeak he tries to grab them with his feet and the coffee is dangerously close to tipping over the edge as well as he balances on one leg.

It’s just inevitable, really, that the book Jinki tries to save lands directly on a stranger’s foot. It’s also just an unlucky coincidence that it’s the heaviest of his books. Jinki looks up, ready to apologise when the stranger speaks up.

“You just broke my toe!” he says and clutches his foot. Jinki widens his eyes almost comically and places the coffee on the table so he can bow 90 degrees before he sinks to his feet and gathers his book and the few papers that went with it. 

“Did you hear what I just said?” the man says and Jinki looks up to get eye contact. The man is beautiful and angry. He’s probably also in pain if his facial expression is anything to go by. “You just fractured my toe. You’re going to pay for medical expenses. Give me your name and number.”

Jinki blinks unintelligently.

“I … it’s a book. I’m pretty sure they don’t fracture toes…” Jinki says nervously, not entirely sure. But it’s just a book, right. A book can’t fracture bones, even if it is a heavy book on marine mammals.

“Oh yeah?” the man challenges. “But I’m sure your book just broke my toe, so…”

Jinki sighs.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I can take you to the hospital?”

The stranger looks up as if Jinki is an idiot and shakes his head.

“No, I just want you to pay, is all. Hand me your name and number.”

Jinki frowns.

“I’ll pay if I take you to the hospital. I don’t want to just receive a huge bill for some procedure you might not have needed. I’m not stupid.”

They glare at each other, but Jinki doesn’t back down. A minute later the stranger exhales deeply and agrees. He acts out his injury and Jinki lets him because he’s too tired for another argument.

“What’s your name?” Jinki asks while they’re waiting to see a doctor in the ER. The man looks at him with suspicion and Jinki doesn’t understand. “It’s just a name?”

The man looks towards his feet and nods a little.

“Kibum. My name’s Kibum.”

Jinki nods in understanding.

“I’m Jinki,” he says and leans back against the chair.

“I didn’t ask,” Kibum counters and Jinki just hums.

Jinki is about to fall asleep when the nurse finds Kibum and asks him to follow. Jinki stays in the waiting area and instead fumbles with his phone.

He could read up on toothed whales while he’s waiting or he could finish up the kelp forest essay but he doesn’t really want to study. Instead he texts Junghee who answers immediately despite having classes. He tells her about Kibum and their trip to the hospital and Junghee tells him he’s a clutch before she digs for information on the stranger.

When Kibum returns, he’s looking rather grim. Jinki smiles wide when he notices that Kibum’s foot isn’t in a cast or a boot or shows any other sign of injury.

“Don’t say it,” Kibum says when he’s in ear-shot and Jinki just grins.

“Not broken?” he asks and Kibum mumbles incomprehensibly. He sits down, defeated, on the chair next to Jinki and then he steals Jinki’s phone.

When he hands it back, he closes his eyes and leans back. Then a whisper sounds and Jinki looks around and finds a pre-teen girl gossiping with a slightly older girl. Kibum ignores them too, but Jinki catches the words “isn’t that Kim Kibum?”

He doesn’t know Kim Kibum, but it’s obvious to him that Kibum next to him doesn’t want anything to do with the girls, so Jinki stays quiet. After 5 minutes of being silent, he stands and grabs his bag. Kibum reaches out to grab his wrist and prevent him from leaving.

“I’m coming with you,” he says and stands. Jinki just looks at him, exhaustion slowly overtaking his body again and reminding him that he only slept 3 hours in the morning.

“Sure,” Jinki agrees and he walks out of the ER, followed by a limping Kibum who may be clutching his lower arm a little too tight.

Jinki doesn’t think much of the encounter until he sits on his bed and finds that he has a new contact. The text message sent from him to the new contact says “for injury money” and the name of the contact is ‘Kibum’.

He slowly pulls his feet towards him and leans back against the wall when he sends a text to Kibum.

[onkeywritings]

Key: We're not making food, people! We're creating cuisine! Food is what a dog eats! Or a tourist!

Onew: Wait, a dog ate a tourist?

[onkeywritings]

So I'm new to the onkey ship, and I was wondering what are some of your favorite onkey moments?

hey anon. <3 im sorry ive taken forever to answer this. i actually only have one fave moment of onkey interactions. i mean, there are many to choose from but i suck at seeing The Gaze and other such shipper-things. so here is my one and only fave Onkey moment uwu

on jinki’s birthday in 2015 shinee went to the airport and jinki was clinging to kibum. 

not to mention their fingers were linked. 

they fit so snuggly together and their hands are so easily linked. this is just a relaxed hand-holding. it looks so soft to me, haha. 

i like onkey best in airport situations because it seems less staged. they’re usually tired and just need to move on and then these small things happen and i think its so cute. 

(also, im a firm believer of the subtle and private in relationships and i think that suits both jinki and kibum - which is kind of why i ship them, haha). 

sorry i can’t give you more than one moment but this day from the airport just makes me all giddy. it’s .. i love onkey. <3 

i hope you find joy in onkey as a ship. <3

[onkeywritings]

dear anon who just sent me a dark request. i do still take requests. ill get to write it soon. i promise.

[140cm-deactivated20220108]

💕💖💗💞💓💟💝 shawol group hug.

[onkeywritings]

can i request onkeys experience with their first pet together :)

yes you can! and i honestly have so many ideas but im so slow at writing so .. uwu sorry its been a while. thanks for requesting. <3

Of Puppies and Treats

When Jinki enters Kibum’s apartment with a large box in his hand, Kibum eyes him skeptically. When the box yips, he raises an eyebrow in question. Jinki just smiles sheepishly and puts the box down and out jumps a small puppy, small legs getting caught on the edges before it tumbles to the ground. 

Kibum just stares at the canine in their living room as Jinki sits down on the floor and reaches a hand out towards the puppy so he can sniff it. 

“A dog?” Kibum questions when he deems the silence has been going on for too long without an appropriate answer to his silent question. J

inki looks up from where he’s letting his fingers over soft fur and sends Kibum another sheepish smile.

“Happy birthday baby.”

Kibum rolls his eyes and returns to the office.

A dog is not what he had written on his wish list. In fact, it was probably the only thing he hadn’t expected to get from Jinki. Kibum hasn’t ever really taken care of animals like that and he’s not entirely sure how to feel about the gift.

 Sure, they’d been talking about doing something together but Kibum had been expecting a month off to travel Europe or go on a safari in Africa. Hell, they could’ve gone on a road trip in the America’s, Kibum doesn’t care. 

He just wasn’t expecting to raise a dog with Jinki. 

If Kibum is honest, this seems like such an awful idea. Getting a dog is like getting a child, something they’ll have to love and take care of for the next 10 years minimum. 

He just doesn’t know if he’s ready for the responsibility, really. He’s young and - oh right, they’re both idols and ridiculously busy at times. This is a bad idea.

He walks towards the living room again when he hears Jinki laugh and when he’s close enough he peeks inside and watches as the puppy smothers his boyfriend with unconditional love. Kibum frowns a little. 

The puppy is cute but they have to hand it back. It can’t stay with them. If anything just because Kibum will feel horrible for neglecting the dog when he’s at work. Jinki looks up and notices him and waves him inside. 

Kibum crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the door frame.  

“Babe, this is a bad idea,” he says. Jinki looks confused for a short moment before he smiles wide when the puppy tackles his toes and yips when he moves them back and forth. 

“Oh, come on. You’re going to love him! You always look at Jonghyun and Roo with such jealousy, don’t be so negative. We can do this. Together.”  

Jinki grabs the puppy and brings it onto his lap and the dog wiggles free and starts running in circles around their living room. Kibum rolls his eyes a little and sets his gaze on the small creature that is roaming their living room. 

When the dog pees on the floor and Jinki yelps in distress Kibum suppresses a snicker. 

“Your dog,” he says, indicating that Jinki has to clean up and leaves them again.

Kibum is reading up on a script for a new musical he has been offered a role in and it’s been a few hours. Jinki and the puppy has quieted down, no more groans when the puppy does what Jinki doesn’t want it to and no more laughter when they play around. 

Kibum suspects they’ve both fallen asleep. It wouldn’t be surprising in any way, Jinki often snoozes on the couch in the afternoon like this. 

Kibum is so into his script-reading that the cold snout that touches his ankle surprised him and he lets out a low shriek. 

The puppy is wagging its tail, looking expectantly at Kibum. The big wide eyes are staring at him, begging for him to love it and Kibum surrenders a few seconds in. Damn puppies and their cuteness. 

As he puts the script away on the table and sinks from the chair to the floor, the puppy finds a spot in Kibum’s lap and curls up after having licked his hand a few times. Kibum stares at the soft brown fur of the poodle puppy and automatically lets his fingers run over it. It’s as soft as it looks and Kibum continues petting the puppy. 

He can practically feel his heart melting at the sight of the unconditional love he’s given and the fact that the small puppy is now sleeping in his lap like it decided the best place to sleep is beside Kibum, slowly wins him over.

When Jinki wakes up an hour later, Kibum sits on the kitchen floor, puppy treats in hand while he tries to train the puppy to sit. Jinki watches his boyfriend for a few moments before he makes his presence known and Kibum looks up and the puppy snatches the treat from his fingers. 

“Hey babe. I named him Comme Des. Isn’t he cute? He already knows how to sit!” 

Kibum lifts the treat above the dog’s head and the puppy sits when it can’t follow the treat anymore while standing. Kibum glowers with pride as he showers the puppy with love. Jinki sends him a soft smile, the sight only making him love Kibum even more. 

“Wait, Comme Des?” he asks and Kibum looks up to meet Jinki’s gaze. 

“Yeah, he’s my birthday present so I assumed I could name him,” he says and Jinki sighs a little.

“But a fashion brand?” 

Jinki sits down in front of his boyfriend and the puppy but Comme Des stays focused on Kibum and the treats. Kibum nods a little.

“He will be the most fabulous of all puppies in the neighbourhood.” 

Then he scoots towards Jinki and leans in. Before they get to kiss, however, Comme Des leans on Kibum’s shoulder and forces his hand open so he can get the treats. Jinki starts laughing and grabs Kibum’s now empty hand. 

Maybe this is not such a bad idea after all.

[onkeywritings]

that au is so good your writing is amazing i cant wait for you to write more! <3

thank you so much! <3 

[onkeywritings]

if youre taking requests how about au where only one of onkey is an idol? you can choose what the others career is

yesss! and i love this au i created so ill be writing more about how they actually got to meet and introduce them more and all but it just felt right to stop it here. ; - ; <3 thank you for the request! 

Beautiful Life

“Kim Kibum! Kim Kibum! Kim Kibum!” 

Fans keep chanting and Jinki watches with awe as the raspberry coloured light sticks colours the concert hall. He’s waving his own light stick in rhythm to the chants just like everybody else. 

Beside him on his right sits his best friend Junghee with a raised eyebrow. On her right is her boyfriend Minho bouncing in his seat excited. 

Junghee is their excuse. She’s also the only one of them that isn’t acting like a fangirl. She sighs and Jinki turns to look at her with a wide smile.

“Enthusiasm!” he shouts to be heard over the loud chorus of fans. Junghee rolls her eyes and squeaks when Minho surprises her with a quick kiss. 

“Come on babe, it’s gonna be great!” he says and Jinki nods to confirm Minho’s words. 

“But I wanted to explore Tokyo now that we’re actually here!”

She pouts a little and Jinki rolls his eyes. This won’t be their last trip to Japan, he’s sure. They’re here because Kibum is having his first Japanese concert and Jinki wouldn’t miss it for the world. 

He hasn’t told Kibum that he’s here because he’s supposed to be on Jeju Island studying Indo-Pacific Bottlenose dolphins but as much as he loves the sea mammals, he loves his fiancé more. 

Junghee is about to protest again when the light dims and the fan chants reach deafening heights. Even Minho has to wince at the sound for a second before he jumps from his seat and screams his lungs out. 

Junghee accepts that her boyfriend is a fanboy and Jinki sends her a smile as he is blinded by the sight of his fiancé on the large screen in a VCR.

The concert is exactly what Jinki had wished for it to be. Kibum performs flawlessly like always, his dance moves sharp and his voice strong. He laughs on stage during his ments and even sheds a few tears in the end when fans write out a message to him. 

Jinki is bursting with pride as he stands from his seat when the lights slowly lights up the venue to lead fans safely out. He’s not leaving the venue, however.

 As people slowly file out, Jinki drags his friends with him towards the stage. There are staff cleaning the area from balloons and confetti and she cocks an eyebrow at him. 

Jinki reaches out towards his chest to find it empty. Right, he doesn’t own a backstage pass now. 

Junghee rolls her eyes when they’re asked to leave the venue and fishes through her pockets to find her cell phone. 

“Hey Jinks,” she says and Jinki looks up with a soft smile. “Don’t make a sound.” 

Jinki blinks a few times before he realises what Junghee’s plan is and he sends her a wicked smile. 

He can hear her voice as she talks on the phone with presumably Kibum, demanding that he lets them backstage now that she and Minho are actually there. 

There are still fangirls around them, but none of them seem to take notice of the phone conversation as they discuss the greatest concert they have just attended. 

5 minutes later, when a staff arrives in casual clothing and asks them if they’re Junghee and Minho, Junghee grabs Jinki’s hands and assures the staff member that he must join them. Jinki isn’t really sure it’s a good idea when the staff member eyes him suspiciously. Maybe he should just call Kibum and tell him that he’s here as well. 

Junghee insists, however, and she can be persuasive when she wants to be. 

Backstage is a confusing maze of hallways and doors and Jinki would undoubtedly get lost if he was on his own. 

The A4 paper on the door says Kim Kibum and as the staff member knocks on the door and gestures for them to go inside, Jinki bites his lower lip in anticipation. 

He only gets to peep inside before he hears “what the fuck” from the couch in the other end. 

As he steps inside, he’s yanked forward by his shirt and strong arms embrace him in a hug. Jinki closes his eyes as he inhales and lets the familiar scent of his fiancé take over. 

When Kibum pulls back he sends Jinki a smile before he presses their lips together. The kiss is sweet, passionate, bordering on longing until Junghee clears her throat behind them and Kibum slowly lets him go. 

“Oh,” he says and looks over Jinki’s shoulder to look at her. “Hey Junghee.” Then he turns back to Jinki and presses their lips together again in a sweet and innocent kiss. 

“I thought you were on Jeju this week?” he questions when he pulls Jinki into the room and the door is shut behind Minho. 

Junghee places herself in the make-up chair and reaches towards a half-eaten plate of sushi and Minho sinks onto the couch as he stretches his long arms above his head. Jinki doesn’t care much for his friends as he leans in to press a kiss to Kibum’s nosetip.

“But it’s my fiancé’s first concert in Japan. That’s more important.” 

Kibum shakes his head slightly but still smiles wide as he pulls away from Jinki. He intertwines their fingers, his forehead still sweaty from the concert. 

Jinki loves him like this. Jinki loves him in whichever way he is, but especially like this. Tired but filled with adrenaline from his performances. Sweaty and hot and with his heart beating loudly in his chest in excitement. The pure joy in his eyes is what Jinki lives for. 

Kibum pulls him towards the couch before he plops down beside Minho and Jinki sinks down in his lap, hands wrapped around Kibum’s shoulder so he can feel as close as possible. Kibum turns to Junghee and scolds her for eating his dinner and she sticks out her tongue and eats the last piece of sushi. 

Jinki and Minho bursts into laughter at the childish retort.

Kibum smells of shampoo and love and Jinki buries his head into his chest. They’re lying in the bed in Kibum’s hotel room, Kibum slowly letting his nails over Jinki’s back in a comforting motion. The adrenaline from the concert has been replaced with comfort and love and exhaustion yet they’re still awake.  

“Thank you,” Kibum whispers against Jinki’s temple and Jinki pulls away so he can look at Kibum. Kibum with his black hair cut in the newest trend, his dark brown eyes without the contacts and the flawless skin that highlights just how beautiful he truly is. 

Jinki was lucky when they met, really. He still doesn’t really understand how they fell in love but even when it’s difficult at times, even when they’re apart, it feels like they’re together. It may actually help them that they’re apart at times, it makes it easier to miss each other. 

“I love you,” Jinki says and in those words lie so much more than just love. They mean “I’m proud of you” and “I admire you”. They mean “I want to spend my entire life with you because you’re the only one for me” and they mean “I’m so happy you’re here with me right now”. 

Kibum just chuckles and presses his lips to Jinki’s forehead. Jinki closes his eyes as Kibum lets his eyes drift to his nose until they land on his lips. 

Their kiss is soft and vulnerable but so pure it makes Jinki’s toes curl with love. 

Kibum’s light scratches stop as he deepens the kiss and lets his hands rest on Jinki’s chest instead and Jinki lets his fingers find their way to Kibum’s pyjama shirt.

[onkeywritings]

Hidden Hope

Rating: PG

Warnings: Verbal abuse

“It’s your fault. I never wanted you to be born. You ruined my life.”

Gwiboon stares ahead of her while her mother continues. This is nothing she hasn’t heard before but the words still sting, still hurt. She knows that if she lets her eyes water and the tears drop, her mother’s hand will connect to her cheek.

“Be grateful for all the things I have given up for you. You’re so selfish, always wanting to do this and that, not knowing how much I suffered.”

She tries hard not to close her eyes and sigh. It will do nothing to calm her mother’s anger. Gwiboon has learnt throughout her life, that there is no reason to do anything that can only strengthen her mother’s anger. Her mere presence is usually enough to aggravate the older woman further.

“Everything is your fault. I hate you!”

With those words, her mother turns her back to Gwiboon and lets her daughter alone in the living room. There’s no regret, no apology in the air and it won’t come. There is never any remorse.

30 seconds later Gwiboon exhales deeply and blinks quickly in succession to stop the tears from falling.

It’s stupid, really, that she keeps hoping that one day there will be an apology, one day she won’t be told what mistake she turned out to be. No matter what Gwiboon does for her mother, she’s always left with the same words and the same feeling of insignificance. 

She’s the reason her mother never became the singer she wanted to be, she’s the reason her mother met a horrible man, she’s the reason they’re in debt. Gwiboon is the root to all evil and it shouldn’t hurt her as much as it does. 

She knows that in the evening her mother will leave and only return in the night, drunk out of her mind. 

If Gwiboon is really lucky, she won’t get a hit when she goes to find her to make sure nothing happens, because despite the hatred she’s met with every day, Gwiboon still cares for her mother.

Nobody seems to understand why, but it’s not that easy to give up. Just for once in her life, she would love to hear that she has done something good. A little praise, a small compliment. Anything to prove that her mother loves her. 

So far there has been no signs and even though Gwiboon knows she should have given up when she was 18 and was hit for the first time, she still believes, she still hopes and prays for the day that her mother tells her that she’s proud of her.

When the front door slams closed and envelops the house in eerie silence, Gwiboon takes another deep breath before she turns around on her heels and finds her way to her bedroom. 

On her nightstand lies her phone and it lights up with incoming text messages. She takes one look at it before she decides she doesn’t want to talk to people. She doesn’t want to know what Taeyeon is doing or that Jonghyun is winning over Minho in some stupid video game. 

The only thing she really wants to do is forget herself and the words that her mother spewed towards her. 

She climbs onto her bed, phone ignored as it keeps lighting up. The heat is turned down in her bedroom because she’s a nuisance that only spends too much money on irrelevant things and she climbs under her blanket in order to keep the cold away.

Gwiboon doesn’t really mind it, however. The cold is making her numb and it’s better to freeze than to hear the words over and over again. 

She doesn’t expect it when the door bell rings. It’s not her mother, it’s too early for that. It’s not Taeyeon, Jonghyun or Minho either because Gwiboon hasn’t told them about the fights and the words. 

She brings her blanket with her, folds it around her to protect her from breaking down. She only opens the door an inch but the sight that meets her has her confused. 

On the other side of the door stands the neighbour’s son, Jinki, shy smile on his face. Gwiboon blinks twice before she opens the door a little more. 

“Hi,” he says like it’s the most natural thing ever. 

“Hey,” Gwiboon says and sniffles a little. 

“I saw your mother leave and thought… I don’t know, this is stupid. I just thought … maybe you could use some company?”

[onkeywritings]

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but its sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

aaaw, thank you!! <3

[onkeywritings]

Taking prompts

i really want to get back into writing, but i feel so drained these days. so instead of slumping and pitying myself, i’ll take prompts. ^^ main pairing will be onkey because … well, i write onkey, but other than that - i only have very few limits.

i dont write smut because im simply unable to (and i wont subject any of you to that) and im not into abo/omegaverse so i’ll prefer not to write that as well. 

[onkeywritings]

i’m still taking requests - same conditions still apply. no smut and no abo/omegaverse. 

[onkeywritings]

Can I pls request an emotional comfort fluff oneshot where Kibum is comforting Jinki and Jinki is just emotional(crying) and tired from a super busy SHINee scheduled day and Kibummie goes to find him in their shared bedroom or their living room couch and he just hugs or cuddles Jinki while letting him cry and then Kibum starts to cry too by seeing his bandmate in tears? (Like sweet realistic domestic comfort fluff) 💜

i … uh, dont know if its sweet domestic comfort fluff. but i tried hard to write this for you >.< im not good with tears 3 

Hell

Today has been hell. Jinki is beyond exhausted and it’s bad. He has passed the overtired happy period and is down to mentally and physically exhaustion and it’s making him irritated, frustrated and sad. 

There’s nothing he wants more than to pass out in his bed, but the schedules keep piling up and the manager is annoyed with them. 

The results have been progressively bad and Jinki is just so tired of everything. He doesn’t want to be around the other members either, because although he knows they love him, he knows he won’t be able to be fair and reasonable and he doesn’t want to subject them to that. 

Jinki closes his eyes as he sinks onto the couch in the dark living room. He hasn’t bothered turn on the light and he knows Minho is sleeping in his room. 

They’re still the only two living in the dorm, the other three home with family and pets. Jinki feels lonely. He doesn’t even notice the tear that slips down his cheek but one is enough to break the facade and Jinki cries. He sobs into the air, trying to keep silent so he doesn’t wake up the younger boy sleeping. 

“You’re an idiot,” someone whispers behind him and rubs his shoulders comfortingly. Jinki doesn’t really know how Kibum has locked himself into the dorm or why he’s here and not with the dogs. 

He feels awfully guilty because he should have relied on the younger boy he loves so incredibly much but he hasn’t been able to. He’s an idiot, exactly like Kibum says, but he doesn’t care right now. He’s too tired to care about his idiocy. 

Kibum lets go for a moment while he rounds the couch before he sits down beside Jinki and pulls him into an embrace. 

They sit there in silence while Jinki lets the day overwhelm him again. He cries into Kibum’s shoulder, wetting his expensive t-shirt but Kibum doesn’t say anything about Jinki ruining his fashion. 

Jinki is him forever grateful.

The only thing heard in the silent living room is Jinki’s sobs and how they slowly die down and become sighs. Jinki is too exhausted to continue crying. Kibum sniffles a little and when Jinki looks up he finds Kibum with teary eyes. 

This makes him feel sad again and he blinks, hoping to will away his own tears again so he doesn’t start crying again. This is why he doesn’t stay around the others when he’s exhausted. 

It’s because they feel guilty he was driven to this point and it’s because it makes him feel horrible that he can’t be the pillar they need on their tough days. 

Today hasn’t only been hell for Jinki but here he is, demanding attention and love when he should be the only strength for the others, the one they can seek out no matter what day of the week because Jinki always has energy to listen to them. 

But today is not a day where he’s really able to do anything but cry and it annoys him so much. Kibum lets a finger run over Jinki’s cheek and sends him a small smile, even with tear tracks down his cheeks. 

“I love you, you know that? Why do you always isolate yourself when we’ve had a tough day?” Kibum asks and Jinki swallows the lump in his throat. Kibum is looking at him, expecting an answer and the only thing Jinki can really say is stupid. 

They sit in silence while Jinki contemplates his words. When he doesn’t find any reason to admit his thoughts, he sighs and turns away from Kibum. Kibum’s smile falls when he sees Jinki turn away.

“Jinki…” Kibum tries again. “I know what you’re thinking and it’s not true.”

Jinki sighs a little and turns back to face Kibum.

“How do you know?” he asks in a small voice and Kibum feels his heart break at the sound. 

“Because none of us expects you to be strong all the time. You’re the only one expecting of yourself that you can’t ever break down.” 

Jinki sniffs at the words. Kibum just lets them sink in and watches his band member start tearing up again. 

Kibum hates it when Jinki cries but he sees it so rarely that it also somehow only proves just how beautiful Jinki is. He hates seeing him try to be strong when they’re all beyond exhausted. 

Jinki wipes at his cheeks so he doesn’t start crying again, he has been crying enough for the next long time. Kibum slowly lets a hand run up and down Jinki’s back, scrapes his nails lightly against the cotton of his shirt and tries to hold in his own tears. 

Jinki swallows the lump in his throat and sniffs again, before he wraps his arms around Kibum and lets him pull him impossibly closer. 

They sit in another silence while Jinki sniffs and tries to come to terms with the fact that his tears are okay, that he’s the only one setting ridiculous expectations to himself.

It isn’t until Kibum sobs that Jinki becomes aware of his band member that has started to cling even harder to Jinki’s back. Jinki wants to chuckle at both of them crying of exhaustion but for some reason, this isn’t funny. This is heartbreaking but at the same time so heartfelt. 

“I hate it when you cry,” Kibum says in-between his sobs and Jinki rubs his back with gratitude. All the things he wants to tell Kibum but words can’t say.

 They stay like that for a few moments until Kibum pulls away and sends Jinki a smile.

“Don’t isolate yourself the next time, okay?” Kibum asks and Jinki looks towards the couch and his thighs. Kibum flicks his shoulder with his fingers to get him to look up and Jinki takes a deep breath before he nods a little. He can do that. For Kibum. 

Maybe showing emotion is also being strong and maybe Jinki doesn’t have to be alone, doesn’t have to be emotionless to be the best leader. 

Kibum just hugs him again and mumbles something about how he really can’t stand Jinki crying. 

Jinki just closes his eyes, exhaustion finally taking a toll on his body but his soul oddly rested by the crying.

[onkeywritings]

To Hear the Angels Sing (1/4)

Rating: PG

Warnings: Mentions of death

Wordcount: 29k split into 4 chapters

Jinki has never been surer of anything in his life. The platforms are empty, most people inside sitting around tables with people they hold dear. Snow is falling softly from the sky, making a beautiful exit. 

Jinki closes his eyes when the light of the train ahead shows itself and he counts 1-2-3 before he opens his eyes, judges the distance and jumps. He feels the impact the second the train hits him and then nothing. 

Everything turns black.

✕✕✕

“So messy,” a voice says with a snarl. The sound of a broom sweeping over a linoleum floor in a scratchy tone is the next thing Jinki hears and he slowly opens his eyes. 

The room he’s in has black walls, most of them covered with monitors that shows all parts of the world. He catches a glimpse of a hospital room before the screen shimmers and shows a forest instead.

“Always on my shift. Hey Taemin, you take November, right, nothing happens in November, they said and now I have to clean this mess like I don’t have enough to do tonight.”

Jinki turns his head towards the voice. A young man is sweeping the floor that looks spotless. The mess he’s talking about must be imaginary dust because Jinki doesn’t think he sees anything else. 

The screens shimmer and change location again, catching Jinki’s attention when it shows police and paramedics on an all too familiar train station. That’s when it hits him. He’s really dead.

“Hey trainwreck!” the voice says in front of him and Jinki jumps from his sitting position in surprise. The man tilts his head with an annoyed look and makes sweeping motions with his broom towards Jinki.

“Where am I?” Jinki asks and the man hits Jinki’s leg lightly to get him moving towards a large door behind him. Jinki hadn’t even noticed the door before. The man continues to urge Jinki towards it but he doesn’t answer the question.

“Hey Minho!” he shouts when he opens the door and pushes Jinki inside a new room. This one is in wood, wooden floors and wooden walls in a soft orange lighting. The furniture in it looks a little like what Jinki would imagine in an old office in an old castle. Something from the 1850’s. 

A man sits behind a large desk and he looks up with surprise when the young man calls for him.

“What are you doing here Taemin?” he asks and Jinki begins to connect their names to their faces.

“I got a trainwreck for you,” Taemin says and chuckles a little, satisfied with his way of addressing Jinki. Minho scrunches up his nose.

“Be nice to the dead.”

This seems to be an intern joke because Taemin snorts in laughter and pats Jinki’s shoulder and pushes him towards the desk in the same movement. 

With a loud sound, the door behind them slams closed and there’s silent in the room. Jinki assumes Taemin has left them alone, so he decides to try again.

“Where am I? I’m dead, right?”

Minho looks through his desk for a pair of glasses and a huge bundle of papers and he, too, ignores Jinki’s questions. Instead he flips through his papers until he finds what he’s looking for.

“Lee Jinki, born on December 14 1989, age 27, dead November 24 2017.”

Minho looks up and Jinki nods a little.

“Suicide by jumping in front of train.”

Here he clicks his tongue disapprovingly.

“But where am I?” Jinki asks again. He was certain death would be black nothingness but this is certainly not black nothingness and it’s a lot more confusing than he had expected it to be.

“Death,” Minho just says dismissively. “Tell me, Lee Jinki, do you like Christmas?”

Jinki blinks at the unexpected question before he shrugs and nods.

“I guess?”

It sounds like a question because Jinki isn’t really sure what this is all about.

“Good. To become a Christmas Angel, sign here.”

Minho turns the paper towards Jinki, puts a pen on the line where Jinki has to sign and Jinki just stares at him in confusion. Minho seems to get slightly agitated and he taps the paper with the pen.

“What if I don’t want to become a Christmas Angel?” Jinki asks and Minho sighs out loud. He either deals with a lot of dead people or Jinki is just stubborn and problematic.

“Then you go downstairs. The stairs are over there,” he says and points to a door that looks normal. It has a small green exit sign above it; Jinki isn’t entirely sure what the purpose of it is.

“Downstairs?” he asks and Minho nods.

“Yes. Downstairs. What do you people call it?” He stops for a couple of seconds before he lets his fingers through his black hair. “Human terms, Minho, human terms.”

Jinki is about to interrupt him when Minho finally finds the word he’s looking for.

“Hell!” he shouts into the silent room and Jinki takes a step back at the sound. “You’ll go to hell if you don’t become a Christmas Angel.”

Jinki’s eyes widen at the information.

“What? But why?”

“Protocol,” Minho just says. Jinki starts to get annoyed with the dismissive response he’s getting.

“What even are you?”

Minho just rolls his eyes, points at a small sign on the desk that Jinki had missed when he entered the room. Choi Minho, Secretary it says.

“Secretary?” Jinki asks and Minho leans back in his chair.

“Listen, Lee Jinki. I have a line of people waiting outside to be assigned whichever way they need to go, you just cut the line because of your messy death. It’s really not a good thing. Seeing Taemin agitated is always annoying and I’m busy. So if you’ll stop asking questions and make a decision I would be thrilled; do you want to be a Christmas Angel or do you want to go downsta-to hell?”

Jinki thinks death would have been better if it had been black nothingness. At least there would have been fewer annoyed whatever Minho and Taemin are to deal with. He grabs the pen, though, and signs the paper Minho has put in front of him to become a Christmas Angel. It can’t be any worse than hell.

✕✕✕

Jinki stares at what looks like a busy office. There are cubicles filled with people, few walking down the hallways with papers in hand. The smell of coffee spreads throughout the room and Jinki almost closes his eyes to take in the normalcy of it all when he’s interrupted by someone else. 

The man that stands in front of him is small. He’s thin, his height is small for a man, his features soft yet sharp and his eyes all-knowing. His hair is black, cut short yet not too short and his bangs fall into his eyes softly. It’s actually quite unnerving to stand in front of him. The thing that makes him obviously not human, however, is the large white feathery wings on his back. They’re not spread out, but even when folded, they reach the floor.

“Lee Jinki?” the man asks, his voice soft and melodic. Jinki nods. “Follow me!”

He leads them to an open office, light and soft with white furniture and white walls. If it wasn’t for all the green plants, the room would have looked mostly like a hospital room. 

The angel sits down in a chair, wings folding behind him in some illogical way Jinki doesn’t have the mental capacity to figure out right now.

“My name is Jonghyun,” the man says enthusiastically. “I’m the head angel of this department and I’m here to tell you about the basics of being a Christmas Angel.”

“Can you tell me where I am?” Jinki asks, not really hoping for an answer but still needing it to make sense of everything.

“The Head Quarter,” Jonghyun answers easily. “So, now that you’re an angel we’ll have to go through basics. We spread joy only, you will spread Christmas joy. We don’t guard people unless we’re guardian angels, which you are not, so you don’t have to worry about humans getting hurt. Just make them happy. You’ll get a new assignment every Christmas and…”

“Jonghyun,” Jinki interrupts, hoping it’s okay to call Jonghyun by his name. “I have no idea what all this means.”

Jonghyun squints at him.

“You are aware that you’re dead, right?”

Jinki nods.

“Yes,” he says.

“Good!” Jonghyun is back to being enthusiastic. “And you signed the contract to become a Christmas Angel?”

Jinki nods again.

“Excellent. Now, listen to me so I can tell you what your job entails. Your job is to make unhappy humans happy during Christmas time. They usually hate Christmas for one reason or another, I don’t know the details of every case but that’s not important. You don’t have to worry about humans getting hurt, it’s not your job to ensure their safety, just their happiness. Are we clear?”

There’s silence between them until Jinki bites his lower lip and nods again.

“Yes.”

“Brilliant! Rules of being an angel include not telling any human you’re an angel; they will most likely deem you insane and lock you up and it’s such a mess and a lot of paperwork, so don’t do that. Promise me?”

“Okay,” Jinki says, not really understanding what Jonghyun is saying.

“Also, falling in love with humans is not recommended. You should not do a job that belongs to someone else, we all have our duties and we don’t want to mess that up. Don’t break the human law because that requires a lot of paperwork as well. Going against your own duties will give you a warning, two warnings and you’re out, going downstairs.”

“Going against … What does that even mean?” Jinki asks, confused.

“Don’t make your case unhappy during Christmas when your job is to make them happy. Simple.”

Jinki soaks all the information up. This is all too much to deal with when you have just died.

“So what am I going to do when it isn’t Christmas?” he asks, when he realizes Jonghyun has been clear about his job being on Christmas only. Jonghyun looks at him with a sigh.

“Paperwork. I’ll help you out when we get to that, you’re going to be busy during December. Do you have any more questions?”

Jonghyun stands from his seat, his wings looking as soft as before with no ruffled feathers after sitting, and he looks towards Jinki with a smile on his face. Jinki blinks a little.

“If … If I’m an angel, shouldn’t I have wings too?”

Jonghyun bursts into laughter at that and opens the door behind him.

“That’s cute, you’re cute. Irene, don’t…!”

Jonghyun whips around and hurries out the door to find whoever Irene is and leaves Jinki alone in the office. 

This is ridiculous. Jinki should be traumatized from dying but nobody seems to care that he has just died. He has a million questions still but when he has the opportunity to ask them he goes blank. There’s so much new information and his head feels like it’s spinning. 

He hides his face in his hands as he sighs a little.

Jinki is no longer sure dying is the best decision he has ever made. So far the people he has met has been so unhelpful. He bets there is no religion that describes death as an office run by nut-jobs and angels.

Jinki is slowly getting annoyed with his situation and the contract to become a Christmas Angel and if he’s honest, then maybe downstairs wouldn’t be as bad as humans have made hell out to be. 

He hears a small giggle from the doorway and when he looks up he gets eye contact with a girl. Her long hair looks like silk and her smile is soft.

“You’re new here?” she asks and Jinki nods again. “I’m Luna.”

“Jinki, Lee Jinki,” he introduces and Luna nods with a smile and steps inside the room.

“Do you want me to show you around? Jonghyun always forgets the most important things, but he’s so busy. He’s a nice guy, though. Everybody here is.”

Jinki stands from his seat and walks towards her as he bites his lower lip. He’s sure they’re all busy but he isn’t entirely sure he believes they’re nice. So far he has only met busy people who didn’t have time to talk to him. 

His head is still chaotic, but at least Luna doesn’t seem like she’s rushing. She’s showing him around the Head Quarter while she tells him what everything is.

“We manage everything from here, so we’re a lot of people together in the Head Quarter. Down there is Monitoring, only a few select gets to do monitoring because it requires a lot of training. It’s mostly people with medical knowledge as well because they need the knowledge of anatomy.”

Jinki stops in his tracks and blinks confused.

“Why do they need anatomy knowledge?” he asks and Luna stops a few steps in front of him and turns so she can look at him.

“Because all the messy deaths, the mutilated bodies, go to Monitoring as well as they’re the only guys who can assemble the bodies again. Some of the Monitors, like Ravi, likes it while others, like Taemin, thinks it’s a burden.”

Jinki shivers at the mention of Taemin and Luna laughs.

“I assume you’ve met Taemin.”

“But what if the bodies are assembled wrong?” Jinki asks after a minute of silence as they start walking through the hallways again.

“Then the soul leaves their body and that’s it.”

Luna lifts a hand to greet a man that passes them before she turns back to Jinki.

“That’s why we have people like Chanyeol, he’s a Collector. Collectors guide the souls to their last resting spot in our archive.”

“So, no reincarnation?” Jinki asks and Luna shakes her head.

“No, every soul is unique. Reincarnation is something humans created. There are Creators like Irene and Taeyong that create souls to every new human born. There are a lot of Creators, though, it’s one of the most common professions. Then we have all kinds of angels, seasonal angels, holiday angels like you, guardian angels and so on. Everybody does a different job and it’s important that one never does more than their own job, otherwise it’ll create problems.”

Jinki nods a little as they continue through the Head Quarter and stops in front of a large screen.

“This is the case board,” Luna says and presses her finger to the screen so it lights up with documents. She lets her fingers run through multiple of files until she finds something labelled Christmas and zooms in. “This is where we find our cases. Every human has a file and we go through those labelled with our profession. For you, that would be Christmas. Find the ones labelled Christmas and choose one. When you have chosen put your finger in the box on the bottom; it’ll put your digital signature on it and it’ll be filed as your case.”

She reads over the case she has found and then turns to Jinki.

“Maybe you should spend some time looking when I’m done showing you around. This doesn’t seem like an easy case for a newcomer, so choose something a little easier.”

Jinki doesn’t get the chance to read the case before Luna has swiped it away and pulled him away from the screen. Another girl walks up, her wings a dark brown, looks through case files and then chooses one.

For the first time, Jinki realizes that this is a business. This is how everything works. There are so many people working hard, even in death, to assure the happiness of those still living. Luna grabs his shoulder and pulls him with her and it brings him out of his reverie.

“What about downstairs? Is that really like hell?” Jinki asks and Luna lets go of him and frowns a little.

“Hell?” she asks a little confused before she pinches the skin between her eyebrows. “Oh! Yeah, it’s been a while since I was human. No, downstairs is nothing like what humans think Hell is. To pay to go to heaven was such a scam.” She laughs a little. “I can’t believe my parents paid to make sure I went to Heaven and see where I am now.”

She smiles softly and Jinki takes himself in reciprocating the smile. While the Head Quarter is confusing and there are many things he still has to learn, maybe it’s not that bad.

✕✕✕

A group of people laugh when Luna drags Jinki into the room. They’re drinking a clear liquid and a puzzle is spread out in front of them, only half finished.

“Hey guys,” Luna says and sits down in a chair, gesturing towards the one beside her and Jinki sits down. “This is Jinki, he’s a new Christmas Angel.”

The group of people greet him with smiles and waves.

“Hey Jinki, I’m Yunho, I’m also a Christmas Angel,” a man that looks like he’s in his 30’s says and sends him a smile. A woman to Yunho’s left nudges his side with an elbow.

“We’re all Christmas Angels, well except Luna,” she says. “I’m Sooyoung. That is Ryeowook, Kyungsoo, Yuta and Krystal.”

Jinki doesn’t get to say anything before Krystal has leant over the puzzle.

“How did you die?” she asks and Yuta gasps scandalized. Jinki looks from one to another but everybody, maybe with the exception of Yuta, seems genuinely curious.

“Suicide,” he says in a small whisper. Krystal withdraws back to her seat with a small smile on her lips. Yunho clears his throat to relieve the tense atmosphere that has suddenly surrounded them at Jinki’s revelation.

“Ryeowook killed himself as well, it’s okay. I died from an aorta dissection, Sooyoung was a cardiac arrest.”

Sooyoung nods a little to confirm that Yunho is correct. Ryeowook nods with a smile on his lips before he shrugs a little.

“It was an accidental overdose, but I guess it still counts as suicide.”

Jinki sends him a small smile. They don’t have to know he jumped in front of a train, not really. Yuta sighs as he places a piece in the puzzle and looks up.

“I was a traffic accident but it’s been fairly recent.”

Kyungsoo pats his back a little before he looks at Jinki.

“Cholera killed me,” he says and Krystal sighs.

“AIDS took me. Don’t have sex with men with HIV,” she says and Jinki widens his eyes in surprise.

“How old are you guys?”

Yunho chuckles and shares a look with Ryeowook before he turns back to Jinki.

“I died in 1961 when I was 35,” he says and Ryeowook takes over.

“I was 29 in 1943 when I took an overdose of methadone,” he says and shrugs a little. Yuta sighs again and leans back in his chair.

“I’m 21 and I was killed in 2002.”

Krystal rubs his shoulder comfortingly and looks at Jinki.

“24 years old when I died in 1932 after being infected with HIV,” she says. Kyungsoo sends Jinki a small smile.

“I was 23 when I got infected with cholera in 1834.”

Jinki gapes at him.

“No way.”

His reaction has them all laughing.

“Oh, don’t be so surprised, I was 30 when I had a cardiac arrest in 1895,” Sooyoung says. Jinki has a hard time believing some of the people he sits beside are 100 years old, yet here he is, with people who claim to have died in the 19th century.

They soon let him join their small group and the conversation is steered from death to the puzzle they’re creating. Yunho tells Jinki all about the Head Quarter while Ryeowook and Kyungsoo make it their job to inform Jinki of his duties as a Christmas Angel. 

Luna has left them alone but Jinki hasn’t even realized she has left, until Krystal leans over and asks if he knows what Luna truly is. Her knowing smirk as she chooses to withhold the information tells Jinki Luna might have been more influential than she introduced herself as.

Sooyoung loves talking about the new world, as she calls it, and she’s thrilled that Jinki can update her on what has happened since Yuta died, because – as she says, she only sees the human world in December and it’s hard to follow all the development that happens in that short span of time. 

Jinki is still a little confused about death, but with the group of 6 to help him with his questions, he’s sure he can do this right.

✕✕✕

Jinki learns throughout the next couple of days that Jonghyun is way older than he had first thought. He also learns that angels earn their wings based on the years they have served which is why Jonghyun’s are white and so large whereas Taeyeon’s are brown and shorter.

 He meets Ravi and Kai and learns that Taemin is a genuinely nice guy when he isn’t assembling bodies. He is told that Minho is stressed and that questions really aren’t his specialty but when he’s not on duty in the Office, he’s fun and relaxed. 

Jinki thinks they should have more than two secretaries to the amount of dead people that passes through the Office and is guided to whichever floor they need to be.

He learns that the Head Quarter is located on the second floor but that the elevators don’t have a button to second floor. 

He learns that downstairs is paperwork and bad working conditions with little communication to others, but not fiery pits of hell with demons poking your naked body with tri-forks. 

Chanyeol takes him to the Archive where thousands upon thousands of used souls rest.

Jinki learns that most deceased children become imaginary friends with the exception of newborns and stillbirths that automatically are split from their bodies and put to rest in the Archive. 

He also learns that one can, any time, be put to rest for all eternity and give up work, but that most of those working in HQ actually enjoys it.

When he on November 30 chooses his case, a man at the age of 25 that has lost his father the year prior and therefore doesn’t look forward to Christmas, Jinki is certain that he can prove his worth as a Christmas Angel. 

How hard can it be to spread a little happiness on an already happy holiday?

[onkeywritings]

Fairytales Don’t Come True

Rating: G

Warnings: N/A

                 Eunsook & Kibum

Eunsook is a good friend. 

That’s why she’s attending the baby naming ceremony of Junghee’s second daughter. It’s not that Eunsook dislikes Junghee, Minho or their daughters. No, it’s the rest. 

It’s the constant reminder that she’s the only one without a child even though she’s only 25. It’s the reminder that she’s still single as the only person in the room filled with 30+ people. 

It’s this alien feeling that she doesn’t belong around Junghee’s other friends or any of the family. 

She knows they don’t think weirdly of her, at least she hopes so. She knows Junghee and Minho likes her enough, there’s a reason she has been invited.

But all these reminders of her own lack of a family makes her go crazy and it drives her anxiety through the roof. 

She closes her eyes as she keeps quiet. Eunsook is uncharacteristically quiet, only talking when asked and saying only as much as she has to. She wanders aimlessly when she does wander and she looks a little lost. 

Everybody else is talking to Junghee and Minho’s first daughter so Eunsook doesn’t even have her to talk to. On the other hand, she should probably not interact with the girl, she’s likely to break her. 

Eunsook kind of wishes Junghee would abandon her family and let Minho talk to everybody else so she could stay next to Eunsook all the time but Eunsook knows that unfair. 

It would just help with not looking so alone and lost. 

She sighs and takes a sip of her glass.

The evening is quiet. When people start to leave, Eunsook begins to feel at ease. Junghee does come and talks to her and Eunsook even dares to play a little with their first daughter. She even manages not to hurt her. 

The alien feeling of not belonging as the only single person without children is still there, though, and it makes her go slightly crazy. 

Her anxiety disables her to leave before everybody else has left, it’s a little stupid but she just can’t say the words out loud until she’s the only one that still needs to go. 

As she sits behind the wheel of her car, she takes a deep breath and rests her hands on the staring wheel. The car purrs to life when she turns the ignition and she slowly sets out back towards the city, back towards her apartment.

 She dreams of meeting the man of her dreams and get kids. She visualises how beautiful they would turn out and how she would fit in. She can’t really imagine herself as a mother but she tries anyway because she needs the image to calm her nerves and the alien feeling. 

Eunsook just doesn’t want to feel like she’s behind her age and she does.

 She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes for a second. It’s a second too long, however, because the moments she opens them again, she realises the car in front of her has slowed down and she has to step on her brake not to crash into it. 

She does hit it, though, and her front scratches their back. Fuck. 

She’s not sure her insurance is going to pay, although they really ought to, and the person in this car could be violent at worst. She puts on emergency light when she has finally parked at the side of the road so people can pass her before she leaves her car and walks the few steps to the car she has hit that has also parked in the side.

Eunsook knocks on the window and the person that turns towards her is the most beautiful man she has ever seen. Only she would hit some rich guy’s car. She groans inwardly while she smiles apologetically to the man in the car. 

“I’m so sorry!” she says. Eunsook has been told all her life that her smile is her weapon. Eunsook considers it the only good thing about her appearance but hey, if it works right now so the man isn’t too mad at her, then she’ll smile forever. 

The man opens the door and Eunsook steps out of the way so he can inspect the damages on his car. 

“I’m really really sorry,” she says. “My insurance will pay! Just give me your number and I’ll get it fixed.” 

When the man turns back towards her with a frown painted on his forehead, Eunsook shrinks just a little. He’s really really gorgeous, black hair, dark eyes, sharp features and a slim body. He looks like a supermodel or an actor, really. He can only be loaded. 

And she has just crashed her small, blue car into his. This is so not good. 

“You shouldn’t sleep behind the wheel,” he says. His voice is like silk, deep but not too deep, soft but not too soft. It’s beautiful in the most sexually frustrating way and Eunsook surprises herself when she realises that. Dammit, she can’t get turned on when someone is fucking scolding her.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” she meekly tries to defend herself. He raises an eyebrow.  

“No?” he asks and Eunsook nods frantically.

“I wasn’t! I was just … thinking.” 

She lowers her voice into a whisper and when she finishes, she’s staring at the grass beneath her feet. She takes a deep breath and looks up with a resolution that she really will pay for the damages she has created and squeaks surprised when she finds the stranger staring at her intensely. 

She scoffs her toe in the ground and selfconsciously pulls a bit of her hair behind her ear. Shit. 

“Thinking?” he aks and Eunsook wishes they could just get this over and done with. 

“Yes, I was thinking. Can I have your phone number? I am going to fix the damages I have done.” 

The man sighs slightly and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out a pen and a piece of paper and as he scribbles down his phone number and his insurance company, Eunsook dreams about his long slender fingers and his large hands cupping her breasts. 

She shakes her head and blinks quickly in succession when she realises what she’s doing. 

He hands her the paper and Eunsook looks down. Instead of finding the insurance company, she finds a small message. 

Don’t worry about the car, the paper reads below the phone number. Eunsook blinks to make sure she hasn’t read it wrong, but she hasn’t. It’s there, right there, black on white. 

When she hears a car purr to life she looks up to find the man behind the wheel again, the black car he has been driving ready to continue onwards. Eunsook smiles softly and buries the paper in her pocket.

Two weeks later, when she’s doing laundry, she rummages through the pocket of the jeans she wore at the baby naming, only to find the crumbled paper. The phone number is still there, the same is the message about the car. 

She smiles at the thought of the stranger and closes her eyes to really imagine just how insanely gorgeous he looked. It isn’t until she’s about to throw the paper away that she realises there’s something on the other side. 

Call me anyway, it says and Eunsook squeals. It takes less than 5 seconds before the initial excitement turns into anxiety. What can he possibly want from her? It can’t be anything positive because she’s just Eunsook, right? And Eunsook’s only weapon is her smile and she doesn’t recall smiling a lot. 

She sighs, but puts the paper on the shelf before she continues with the laundry.

In the evening she pulls herself together and texts the phone number. It might not be a call, but hell, Eunsook’s anxiety doesn’t like calling people. 

The man answers back within 10 anxious minutes and Eunsook stares at her screen when she reads and rereads the text message. There, black on white, is an invitation to a lunch the next day. 

She accepts and flops onto the bed. She’s the worst.

The man is called Kim Kibum and he likes teasing her with the crash. He’s also funny, a great companion, interesting and sexy as hell. Eunsook is living a dream and she knows it. 

There’s no way Kibum can be telling the truth when he tells her that she looks beautiful in the flowery dress she’s wearing or that he finds her intriguing. 

Eunsook fucks up once again when Kibum asks to her job and she starts rambling about marine biology. Kibum just sits there and smiles until she blushes slightly and apologises. 

The lunch is comfortable and it’s horrible because Eunsook wants to see more of him. She lingers behind when Kibum leaves, but she can’t stay at the restaurant forever and at one point, she has to realise that commoners just don’t get to date princes. 

As she climbs into her car and rests her head against the steering wheel once again, she lets her mind drift away to fairytales and alternative universes where she can date a guy like Kibum. 

The knock on her car window is unexpected and she hits the horn with her hand as she sits upright. Kibum is grinning on the other side of her window and Eunsook looks at him confused. She rolls down the window and Kibum sends her a soft smile that has her legs turn to jelly. Good thing she’s sitting down. 

“I don’t want the night to end yet,” he says and Eunsook blinks twice. 

“What?” she says intelligently. Great. 

“Do you want to go on a date with me Lee Eunsook?” he asks, makes it as obvious as can be and Eunsook chokes on her own saliva.

“What?” she screeches and Kibum laughs out loud, boisterous and beautiful. He rounds her car and opens the door to the passenger seat. 

“Can I?” he asks and Eunsook just nods, completely silent. What the fuck is happening? 

“I damaged your car!” she says when he closes the door behind him and reaches over to buckle up. Kibum turns to her with a smile.

“You damaged my heart as well,” he says and Eunsook gasps.

“Are you okay?!” she asks and Kibum shrugs a little, looking absolutely smug.

“Only if you go on a date with me,” he says. “Don’t let tonight end Eunsook. I want to know more about you.”

Fairytales do not come true, Eunsook tells herself. Fairytales do not come true, princes don’t date commoners and she’s not that lucky. Eunsook was born under an unlucky star. This can’t be true. 

Kibum looks at her from the door. Eunsook is doing laundry, mumbling to herself as she throws clothes into the machine. 

“Babe,” Kibum says and Eunsook jumps in surprise. “We’ve been together for the past 2 years, it’s on time you start accepting that fairytales do come true and that you’re not a commoner.” 

Eunsook frowns and puts the t-shirt she’s holding into the machine.

“But this is too good to be true!” she says. “You’re too good to be true! I hit your car and you decided I was worth a date, are you stupid?” 

Kibum laughs and walks into the room so he can wrap his arms around her.

“Well, when you put it that way, I guess I am stupid. You were just so breathtaking, I couldn’t be mad at you.” 

“You’re a fucking liar,” Eunsook mumbles and Kibum pinches her side.

“Be nice towards yourself, who else is going to love you if you don’t love yourself?” he asks and Eunsook looks up with a pout on her lips.

“You will,” she says and Kibum leans down to kiss her quickly.

“Touché.”

Fairytales still don’t come true, but Junghee squeals when Eunsook tells her she has a boyfriend and Minho teases her about children and maybe she doesn’t have to be a stranger anymore. Eunsook is still not pregnant but all in due time, she guesses. 

The most important part is that she doesn’t have to feel like a stranger anymore. Besides, she has the man she dreamt of getting.

[onkeywritings]

you know, sometimes i wish it would be easier to post 15k+ stories on tumblr but they just seem so abnormally long. ;; 

[onkeywritings]

I Miss You

@keybummietomyheart this is probably not what you wanted with your request so im going to make another one for that uwu 

Rating: G

Warnings: N/A

“Hey babe,” Kibum says as he enters the bedroom he shares with Jinki. Jinki doesn’t look up from where he’s sitting on the bed, trying hard to keep emotions inside and not show that he’s hurting. Kibum sighs a little and walks towards him before he sits down besides Jinki and puts his hand on his shoulder. The touch doesn’t make Jinki look up either. 

“They just told us you decided to sit over the dome concerts,” he says in a soft whisper and Jinki just nods. He pulls his knees towards his chest as he silently lets the tears fall and Kibum pulls him closer to his side, lets Jinki’s warmth seep into his skin. 

“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?” Kibum asks after a few seconds of silence and Jinki nods. Kibum can hear him sniffling, still trying to fight his emotions. Kibum presses a kiss to Jinki’s temple and Jinki sobs out loud at the show of affection.

“I know how much this hurts you, but isolating yourself isn’t the right thing to do. We miss you. I miss you.” 

Jinki looks up with teary eyes and Kibum has to swallow a lump so he doesn’t start crying at the sight. He knows they need this conversation. 

Ever since it happened, Jinki has been withdrawing and it’s not only hurting Kibum, it’s also hurting Jinki. Kibum wants to be there for his boyfriend whenever he needs him, but Jinki has this habit of doubting himself and everything he does, which results in isolating. 

Right now, however, isolating is not the right thing. It hurts Kibum to see Jinki cry, but it hurts even more to know he’s crying alone. Jinki just nods again. Kibum sends him a small smile and lets a finger gently over his cheek, removing the tear that tracks down Jinki’s soft cheek. 

“I love you, you know that.”

There’s silence between them as Kibum waits for confirmation, for anything really. 

“I know,” Jinki whispers, voice hoarse from crying and staying silent. “You shouldn’t love me, though. I don’t deserve it, I’m a horrible person.” 

Kibum shakes his head a little and Jinki lowers his gaze again. 

“That’s not true, babe. You’re stressed out and everything is overwhelming but you’re not undeserving of my love nor are you a horrible person. Don’t become unreasonably harsh on yourself.”

Kibum gently laces their fingers together with one hand and wraps the other closer around Jinki so he can pull him flush against his side. They both need the comfort right now. Jinki just shakes his head against Kibum’s chest.

“I’m not,” Jinki whispers and Kibum disagrees.  

“You are. You’re cursing yourself out in your sleep, honey.” 

There’s silent between them again as Jinki keeps denying Kibum’s words in a head shake. 

“Babe, look at me,” Kibum says and when Jinki refuses he gently lifts his chin with the hand that isn’t holding Jinki’s. “Look at me. For how long have I known you?” 

“We’ve been together 2 years,” Jinki says in a whisper. Kibum can feel him trying to move his eyes but he doesn’t let him. Not this time. 

“No, for how long have we known each other, as friends, coworkers and everything in between?” he asks again and Jinki bites his bottom lip before he takes a deep breath.

“10 years,” he says on his exhale and Kibum nods.

“10 years, babe. 10 years is a long time. I’ve seen your ups and your downs and I know you better than anyone. Don’t isolate yourself from us, we’re here for you. Don’t isolate yourself from me.” 

It hurts a little to say it out loud, to request for something as trivial as time with his boyfriend, but this is a tough time and they need each other, now more than ever. Jinki has always been there for Kibum in times of need. There is no way Kibum is going to let Jinki deal with this alone either. 

“I love you,” Jinki whispers and Kibum sends him a small smile before he presses his lips to Jinki’s forehead.

“I love you too. You’ll get all the time you need to reflect but don’t push us away.” 

Kibum feels the tear track down his cheek but he doesn’t care when he sees Jinki’s eyes slowly drying and the small smile. They’re in this together and they’ll always be. 

“I promise,” Jinki says in a soft voice when Kibum starts crying for real when the overwhelming thought of actually losing Jinki hits him. Because isolation is bad, it’s horrible and they both know. 

Kibum can’t be strong enough for both of them, not really, but he will be there as an equal, as the comfort. Kibum sends Jinki a small smile as well before he squeezes his fingers reassuringly. 

“Good.”