empty is pure @only-air - Tumblr Blog

wanted to hurt myself tonight so badly. instead i took a long, hot shower and made myself eat something. am i happy? not even a little bit. am i still whole, though? for now. for now i am getting by.

not one day has gone by in WEEKS that i have not been suicidal. not a single, full 24hrs that i haven’t wanted to hurt myself. this shit is exhausting. there are so many reasons not to do it, and that’s all that stops me. things like family, work, friends. but then again those are the same things that make the option so much more appealing. all i know is that no matter the cost or cause, i wish i were 6ft under right about now.

did my breakup make me heavily relapse? yup

have i obsessively been working towards a bangin revenge body? yup to that too

am i going to get skinny and fuck his friends? also yup

#revenge #revenge body #skinny #thinspo

not being able to look nice in the clothes i want so badly to wear is my biggest motivation. at my size i feel like i CANNOT look nice and it fucking crushes me.

the people around me are not supportive in the ways that are healthy for me. but honestly, fuck it. when people say triggering things, why not listen to it? someone very close to me tried to tell me i shouldn’t eat after a certain time because it will just sit in my stomach. so instead of listening to my body and giving it what it wants, why the fuck not set time limitations again! let’s fucking go! let’s restrict and not satisfy the body! let’s focus on every detail of what i consume contains! let’s count calories! think i should lose weight? don’t even put it past me! let me slip and i’ll blow away with the wind! CONSIDER IT DONE.

point being, don’t try to control the food that someone takes in that is doing their BEST and trying to be kind to themselves. do not be a dick. if i feel like i can allow myself to have something, i! don’t! want! to! hear! what! you! think! is! healthy! for! ME! that’s my job! fuck RIGHT OFF before you pitch in. no one asked for your 2 cents, especially my mental health

aannoorreexxiicc

the longer you starve, the easier it gets

the less you eat, the less you want to eat. It’ll get to the point that even though your stomach is completely empty and you have hunger paints, you have absolutely zero appetite. It’s nice.

greenteabasically

at a certain point hunger goes away along with the pains and that’s when everything really starts to speed up ;)

Fasting for a week has been something that’s become easier and easier for me

beingskinnyismydream1

Workouts You Can Do In Bed

To Get Rid Of The “Are You Pregnant?” Belly :

20 crunches

35 sit ups

10 full body crunches

50 crisscrosses

10 wide leg cross sit ups

20 leg raises

To Get Rid Of The Jello Like Thighs :

100 pillow squeezes

30 side leg lifts (Each side)

To Get That Bubble Butt :

40 butt bridges

25 lying kick backs (Each side)

50 clam lifts (Each side)

20 forward kicks (Each side)

30 knee tucks (Each side)

There is literally no reason why you shouldn’t be doing these workouts ESPECIALLY if you’re in bed. You can do this! You reach that UGW

Made by: ThisIsAnaMyFriend

skinny-sweet-dreams

One day this year :: I will wake up, I’ll go to the bathroom, I’ll brush my teeth, I’ll drink my coffee, I’ll weigh myself. And without any planning, without any expectations, without any thought of the pain I’ve endured….I will be at my goal weight and I’ll finally be happy.

desperately needing an ana buddy

literally just need someone to motivate me and for me to motivate. i’ve hit a low and am having a REAL hard time holding myself accountable. i’ve got to lose weight though 100% no doubt about it.

fatrealityskinnydreams

i actually feel so disgusting cause i can see and feel all the fat i’ve gained. it’s so gross. does anyone else rly hate fat around their bikini area? it feels terrible when i sit down and feel it. oh my god i hate this