Times I Saw Him

This is a *Fiction Blog*! Nothing written here will be based on the true stories or events. Please read this for fun. This was written for one of my creative writing assignment.

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[onthefieldsable]

“The Kiss” by Klimt

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The First Time I Saw You

Dear Mother,

I fell in love with a man at the first sight.

I understand that you might be worried because you are not with me for advice. I miss you. And, I know that nobody around me will give me as sincere and wise advice as you.

But, mother, please don’t be worried. When he and I first looked into each other’s eyes, at the summer party at Dr. Peterson’s house, we both knew that we were each other’s destiny.

It might sound crazy, but he was no stranger to me. Do you remember Dr. Gerald Thayer from my scientific magazines? The doctor who won the Lasker? It was him - my ideal.

When he approached me, I thought he walked out of my collections. My heart was pounding. He smiled and asked me my name. And, my entire world turned red - spinning.

I told him my name, and he said I look cute. Then, he offered me if I would like to go out to the balcony with him. There, we shared a few words and some beers. We chuckled for things that sounded smart and stupid. It was hot and muggy, and we were sweating.

Suddenly, we kissed. He wrapped his arms around me, and inside his arms, I felt complete - floating in a romantic dream.

Since then, it has been 3 months with Gerald, and I am grateful. He always teaches me how special I am.

He buys me apparels from Chanel because he said he was worried I would look like a slut little shallow. He is very thoughtful and sweet. He picks my outfit everyday along with underclothes. He also picks and sprays me a fragrance of his choice. He makes me his princess.

He also hired me as his only assistant for his research. We work together in his lab at night, as he is always busy with his other work in the day. He pays gives me $50/hr for the work, and he told me that this is not usual treatment for an undergrad like me.

He does so much for me, Mother.

But, Mother, I am scared. Sometimes, a strange fear comes into my mind, and it makes me feel useless. No, I am useless. I make too many mistakes at work and upsets Gerald. I’m sorry that I’m not good enough for him.

He does so much for me, yet I am a person who can never be better. He always assures me that he loves me. But, I know. He told me that a doctor like him risks more things to lose than an undergrad like me if our relationship gets revealed.

And, his words are hurting haunting me.

Mother, could you pray for me in heaven? I want to be a better person who qualifies him.

I want to be better.

I miss you. Love you.

-Love

[onthefieldsable]

[onthefieldsable]

“The Kiss” by Klimt (Virtually Vandalized by the writer)

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[onthefieldsable]

Million Times I Saw You

Love was feeling that something had gone off. Something was wrong. 

Maybe she was being over-dramatic, but she couldn’t resist the feeling of having a little bug tickling the side of her mouth.

Love had the instinct that something was not exactly the same as what she had known. She had been dating her flawless man Doctor Gerald Thayer for 6 months, and there were questions inside of her about him that weren’t answered.

Who is Gerald? 

Love knew Gerald from his cover on magazine, news, and media - but, not as in person. She had been dating him for 6 months, and Gerald had always been the guy from the magazine to her. Ideal, but not close.

Love was sitting on the couch, pondering of that strange evening last Tuesday when Gerald bumped into a guy at the cafe. The stranger seemed to know Gerald and greeted friendly. However, he called Gerald “Jack.” Gerald told him that that he wasn’t Jack, but he seemed to know that name. 

It had been over a week that happened, but Love couldn’t stop thinking about the strange encounter. Gerald treated like that evening was nothing, but it wasn’t anything to Love.

beep-beep-

Love noticed the doorbell. She walked across the living room to open the door. It was Gerald. But, why wasn’t he wearing the glasses he wore in the morning? 

Gerald was frowning. He seemed upset. A sudden, quiet fear - that Love was now used to - arose slowly inside her stomach. 

“Gerald, did I do something wrong again? Is that why you’re back? I’m sorry. Could you please tell me what I’ve done wrong this time?”

“.. Who the hell are you?”

Gerald seemed as if he found something awfully wrong. 

“Are you Jack’s girlfriend? Is that why you are at his house?”

Love recognized the name - Jack. It was Jack again. 

Love was confused. Gerald said he didn’t know Jack, but now he seemed to know Jack. What was happening?

“I’m confused, Gerald. I’m your girlfriend. Is this because I forgot to wear the pajama you picked for me last night?”

“Fuck! It is Jackson again. Girl, you should know - he lied to you.”

Gerald quickly rubbed his head as he was texting.

“.. What do you mean?”

Love asked carefully, as tears slowly filled up her eyes. She couldn’t understand why he was ghosting her. Was it a break-up which he wanted?

“Don’t you get it? You’ve been deceived by that little rat!”

“What...?”

“Jack is my twin brother. And, he borrows my name to hook up with chicks.”

Love gasped. She didn’t know Gerald had twin. Or, she didn’t know anything. 

For million times she looked at Gerald, million times she didn’t see Gerald. Love fell onto the floor. She covered her mouth with her two hands, shaking - frightened. 

Hell. It was something that started with simple “hello” to love and then back to hello without o. 

Love finally faced the truth.

[onthefieldsable]

“The Kiss” by Klimt (Virtually Vandalized by the writer)

[onthefieldsable]

“The Kiss” by Klimt (Virtually Vandalized by the writer)

[onthefieldsable]

[onthefieldsable]

The Last Time I Saw You

January 7th

Stop calling me, psycho. I don’t love you anymore. I don’t trust you.

January 10th

DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE. DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.DIE.  

Go Fuck yourself, asshole. I don’t believe you.

January 12th

But, Gerald loved me... he did love me. 

..... Didn’t he?

January 13th

No, he didn’t. Go fuck yourself, Gerald, Jack, or Jackson, whatever. I’m tired. I can’t get off my bed. I want to drown myself. I want to die. I can’t believe I was such a fool to believe him.

January 15th

Why is he keep calling me? Doesn’t he understand that I don’t want to talk to him anymore?

January 16th

.. Should I try getting his call? The last time I saw him he did say he was sorry.

..................... shit, I’m fucking crazy.

I should stop drinking and really shouldn’t call him.

January 20th

Lady from the admissions office of University of Dupont called me last night. They said they want to talk to me regarding the graduate student Jackson Thayer for using the laboratory at night without the permission from the faculty. Well, luckily he paid me for being as an assistant for his fake research from his own pocket, so at least that wouldn’t cause him trouble.

...... HAHAHAHA.

Fuck you, Gerald-Jack. 

January 23rd

I gave my massive files regarding the trouble Jack caused to the admissions office. Files of paperworks on how he deceived me to believe that he is Dr. Gerald Thayer, made me his girlfriend/lab assistant, and made him live with him to treat like a little barbie doll. I hope he gets screwed up real bad.

I’m really over him.

January 25th

.. I met Jack.

January 26th

..... it was really Jack.

January 27th

I can’t stop thinking about Jack. Last time I saw him, he just went past me, but he looked thinner than when I saw him before the break-up. Of course, I shouldn’t think of him anymore, but it just makes me feel weird. Just before we ended our relationship, he did threaten me that he would commit suicide if I leave him.

......... But, but... that shouldn’t be my business anymore right? It’s not my fault if he actually tried to commit suicide.. but what if..... No. No. No. No. That can’t be my fault. HE TRICKED ME. HE DESERVES THIS.

Stop thinking - THIS HAS TO BE THE LAST TIME I SEE HIM. 

I don’t love him. He must’ve moved on - that’s why he didn’t greet me like before. 

He was toxic. Not Good.

I need to move on too. GOOD BYE JACK.

January 28th

But were his lies that bad? What if Jack......................................

- part of Love’s diary for her mental therapy (without progress - never ending)