╰—; 𝙄𝙉𝙑𝙄𝙉𝘾𝙄𝘽𝙇𝙀 weapon.

shingeki no kyojin's 𝑳𝑬𝑽𝑰 𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑵. ind. pri. sel. mat. given wings by ARLO. ʀᴇʟᴏᴀᴅᴇᴅ — 03.2021.

[onyxium]

𝐖𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊                                     & 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒.

CAPTAIN  LEVI  ACKERMAN.          disgruntled babysitter of the survey corps & the commander’s attack dog.     the wings of the revolution in search of the truth.     the wild,  the hunter,  the eyes of the future.     𝘰𝘯𝘦  𝘮𝘢𝘯  𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩  𝘢  𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥  𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘳𝘴.

DNI.          do not follow if you are  UNDER  18  or are  NOT  A  ROLEPLAY  BLOG.     do  not  reblog  my  graphics  or  threads.     do not interact if you have muses from the following fandoms :    HARRY  POTTER,   HAZBIN  HOTEL,  HELLUVA  BOSS,   or  HOMESTUCK.     do not interact if you are intimidated at all by writing with duplicates or seeing me write with duplicates of your muse.     do  not  follow  if  you  are  ageist,   ableist,   bigoted,   cisphobic,   homophobic,   racist,   sexist,   transphobic,   or  some  other  sort  of  douchebag.

ADMIN.          ARLO.      29.     MST.     aries.     hiddlestan.     proud supporter of the survey corps & team instinct & loki’s army ;    horror connoisseur of medical intrigue & a mythology nut.     enjoys superhero shenanigans,  hoarding aus,  & dark / horror content.     constantly  listens to music.     also can be found at the following blogs :    @seidrborn   (  LOKI  )  &  @storystrange​​   (  MULTIMUSE  ).

LINKS.          memes.     verses.

[onyxium]

not me diving headlong back into demon slayer because I ended up with Tengen as a muse, what is my life. Levi will still be here ofc, especially in light of this new cyberpunk verse, but most likely you can find me on my multi! hint: my Armin is over there too!

[onyxium]

on a road trip to the hot springs today, but I’m eagerly awaiting a buddy of mine to make their erwin blog so that we can fuck shit up with this new cyberpunk verse

[onyxium]

CONFESS  YOUR  SECRETS  TO  ME  &  I’LL  TELL  YOU  WHAT  YOU  NEED  TO  HEAR.

———LET  IT  HEAL  YOU,   BUT  DON’T  LET  IT  CONSUME  YOU.

you were wronged,  & your anger has protected you for so long.     through your fury you have grown stronger & wiser,  but please do not sacrifice anymore of yourself.     remember tenderness,  remember vulnerability.     don't let this devour you.

TAGGING:     YOU?

[onyxium]

OOC.          who wants a meme from levi?

[lifeinpoetry]

I don’t have time for paranoia. Won’t flip rocks or look for merit in the death threats. If they come for me, let them: I’ve made my amends. Would be content in my coffin. It is those stuffing sand in my mouth that worry me most saying there are softer ways to say this. Thing is I don’t want to be soft. Don’t want to humanize shit. Look at my limbs, look at this earth.

— Mohammed El-Kurd, from “Kroger,” Rifqa (via lifeinpoetry)

[feral-ballad]

George Seferis, tr. by Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard, from The Collected Poems 1924-1955; “Pantoum”

[feral-ballad]

Wafaa Lamrani, tr. by Tahia Abdel Nasser & Richard Mckane, from The Poetry of Arab Women: A Contemporary Anthology; “I am consecrated to the coming one"

[onyxium]

OOC.          who wants a meme from levi?

[hapless-hollow]

I kissed him - and death laughed. And I felt the piercing sting of our mortality.

tumblr  -  Helaena C Moon  /  instagram  -  helaena.c.moon (via hapless-hollow)

[feral-ballad]

Yrsa Daley-Ward, from Bone; “bone”

[onyxium]

OOC.          be back in a few hours after i get some sleep!

[onyxium]

WHAT  COLOR  CHARACTER  ARE  YOU ?

———THE  GREEN  CHARACTER.

green characters are often hotheaded & brash,  unafraid to speak their minds.     they make for excellent leaders & teachers,  & tend to be most devoted to a specific field,  which they do well in.     they have a lot of confidence in themselves,  & although they can’t always see themselves positively,  they are good about respecting themselves.     they have a lot of common sense but are equally likely to strategically plan something out as to rush in on an impulse.     they often have to work hard to get others to respect them,  & sometimes receive less of it when people find out who they are.     still,  they are not afraid to make others uncomfortable by being themselves,  & are unlikely to waver when someone wants them to change against their will.     they can be brash & loud,  but also very quiet & secretive.     their humor can be a bit rude,  & they don’t always display friendship or affection to the people they care about in the most conventional ways.     however,  they’re quite easygoing, witty, and fun—loving people.     they don’t like when people are flighty & prefer to work with people who don’t quit & will stand their ground.     they stand out from others,  both because of the way they approach the world & because of how skilled they tend to be at what they do.     some people may not suspect that they are harmonious because of their blunt nature,  but they are surprisingly good & reasonable diplomats,  & can employ a lot of meaningful tact when the situation calls for it.     they may feel a sense of distance or abandonment from their parental figures,  as they often became emotionally or physically absent sometime in their life.     green characters hate being told what to do & being put into a box,  & are likely to challenge authority.     they can be hard to work with at times due to their stubbornness,  but they bring a lot to the table & tend to round out their friend groups.     they need people in their lives who respect them,  care about them,  & listen to them,  as well as offer them companionship without requiring them to conform to a certain preset standard.

[mitchellwrites]

deathless ♚ sentence meme

You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.

You are going to break your promise. I understand.

You’re lonely too.

It will stop your breath, how cruel I can be.

I am a demanding creature. I am selfish and cruel and extremely unreasonable.

I am your servant.

I crawl at your feet; for before your love, your kisses, I am debased.

For you alone I will be weak.

I belong here, and you will not deny me.

I say these things, and the world listens.

I do not tolerate a world emptied of you. I have tried.

In the dark, I have pored over the loss of you like pale gold.

I will not let her speak because I love her, and when you love someone, you do not make them tell war stories.

I moved the earth and the water for you.

You will always run away with her.

You will always lose her.

You will always be a fool.

You will always be dead, in a city of ice, snow falling into your ear.

You have already done all of this and will do it again.

No one should be judged for loving more than they ought, only for loving not enough.

We look terrible to you, and severe, and you see our blood flying.

What we carry between us is hard-won, and we made it just as we wished it to be, just the color, just the shape.

There need never be any rules between us.

Let us be greedy together; let us hoard.

Do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me.

I am selfish. I am cruel. My mate cannot be less than I.

Sleep with fists closed and shoot straight.

I can’t abide a poor liar.

You look like a winter’s night. I could sleep inside the cold of you.

Oh, quit that. Blushing is for virgins and Christians.

Scold me; deny me. Tell me you want what you want and damn me forever. But don’t leave me.

Bad luck relies on absolutely perfect timing.

In his own country, Death can be kind.

What is the world but a boxing ring where fools and devils put up their fists?

Men die. It’s practically what they’re for.

I am no one; I am nothing.

Nothing in me was not made by you.

A revelation is always the end of something. It might even be cause for grief.

Just tell yourself a story that’ll satisfy you and pretend he told it.

Forever isn’t bright; it isn’t like that. Forever is cold and hard and final.

I savor bitterness - it is born of experience. It is the privilege of one who has truly lived.

If you want to kill yourself, do not use us as your knife.

What did I do wrong? Was I boring? Did I ignore you?

Don’t you dare speak to me like that.

I have worn nothing but blood and death for years.

I have fought all your battles for you, just as you asked me.

I have learned not to cry when I strangle a man.

I have learned to watch everything die.

I am not a little girl anymore, dazzled by your magic. It is my magic, now, too.

Are we not devils?

No one is now what they were before the war.

I have not seen you without your skin on.

Close up your head; your brain is getting loose.

We obsess. It’s in our nature.

I’ve a devil of a habit for being right.

In war you must always choose sides.

If you try to be a bridge laid down between them, they will tear you in half.

We are all dead. All equal. Broken and aimless and believing we are alive.

My old bones will follow yours soon enough.

It is better to be strong and cruel than to be fair.

I will see him with his skin off before I agree to fall in love.

After love, no one is what they were before.

I have survived, but I have not been spared.

In the space of one heartbeat to another I loved you and I was lost to you.

Frighten me, make me cry, only come back.

It’s not so bad, my darling. Being dead. It’s like being alive, only colder.

You’ll think it’s love, while he dines on your heart.

You will be so beautiful when you are old.

I cannot keep you and I cannot let you go.

You will live as you live in any world…with difficulty, and grief.

I look at you and it is like my throat being cut.

She said you’d come and I swore to eat your heart.

I still want to kiss you.

My heart is being cut in two. I cannot bear it.

What happens to anything beautiful?

I have to know, I have to or else you will just rule me until the end of everything because you know and I do not.

[onyxium]

BERTHOLDT​.

The noise that comes out of his throat is not human. The blood that comes out is not human either. The blade slides back, breaks the dam. Levi delivers a swift kick but even then it feels like the last desperate rearing of a run down animal, the final swell of strength before death sets in. Still, a veteran knows to parcel out his energy. The soldier uses the burst of adrenalin to kick Bertholdt off, free himself from the warrior’s chokehold. At the same time, the pain explodes, blooms up into his mouth. A gurgling roar chases Levi off the rooftop, leaps after him like a hunt-drunk dog. 

Bertholdt remains, clawing at his open throat, futilely pushing the blood and steam back into the gaping gash that leaks his life onto the roof tiles. Stupid, the chorus sneers in his head. Reckless. Too reckless by far. You weren’t paying attention again. He never learns. Bertholdt can’t see for the red haze that strangles his mind, grows through every rational thought like poison weeds. Anger like this is intoxicating. Anger like this gets you high. It feels righteous and raw, clean and honest. He’s never felt clean in his life. Not like now, when his open neck vomits steam and lightning leaps through his veins, racing to close the flesh. 

The captain’s words ring endlessly in his ears, like the gunshots, like the cries of the trampled masses. YOU CARE, DON’T YOU? —Like a dagger to the heart, that one. You’d think they managed to starve that out of him. You’d think that after years underground, he’s grown low in the head, he’s grown low-lifed and single-minded. No lofty ideals, no high hopes. Bertholdt pulled the veil back from the world years ago, and he has been staring into the abyss of it ever since. It eats at you, to know how things really are, how enslaved every single person, how stupid and small and pointless. The masses are crushed underneath the giants’ feet and it doesn’t matter if there are titans or not. It doesn’t matter what they’ve done or not, if they were loved or feared. People die everywhere all the time and it doesn’t fucking matter. 

So why doesn’t he just transform? He meant to do it anyway. He didn’t come here to die as a patriot. He didn’t come here to be hailed a war hero and prodigal son. He came here to burn something down. —A cry pierces his ears. Just a child, screaming in anguish, the sound so bright and shrill that it carries over the din of rushing voices. It isn’t Gabi or Zofia, but it might as well be. Somewhere, a volley of gunfire punches holes into the sky, to the sound of the Jaw’s defiant growls. 

“Fuck.” 

Bertholdt leaps to his feet, leaves the puddle of blood behind. He crouches by the edge of the roof, peers down into the empty, debris littered street. No movement, no sign of impact. He would have heard him, he would have seen him. Levi’s got a goddamn broken leg. Even he can’t disappear now. Gunmetal-gray eyes flinch from one shadow to the next. He degenerates so much in his pain, his fury against the offender. They are all murderers together now. He has no qualms. Bertholdt breathes through his teeth, slavering for his pound of flesh just as he has been taught. It’s easier to fight with something at your back you are sworn to protect. He’s always known that. 

His gaze falls on the deep scar in the support beam, it follows the track down into the shattered window. Bertholdt doesn’t think. He’s not been drilled to think. From infancy he’s been forced into the shape of a warhead, into the shape of a heat-seeking missile. That’s all he is. So if something runs, he follows. 

The warrior drops down the length of the house wall with suicidal precision. The gun slung across his back, only his clawing hands, blood- and soot-stained, serve to break his fall when he catches the window sill. His shoulders scream, near torn from their sockets by his own dead weight. He heaves himself into the frame, where glass shards cut into his dirty uniform, and into the skin beneath. He fills out the window entirely, slathered in dripping red, shaking with furious death rattle breaths. The sound of Bertholdt’s descent is drowned out by the combat that erupts again and again all around them. The thunderous footsteps of titans turn the ground into a trembling stage upon which they must conduct their bloody play. 

Bertholdt’s feet touch down onto the carpet of broken glass, almost gingerly by comparison, as he scans the room for his quarry. Maybe at long last he’s become a soldier’s son, after all. 

Where are you, captain?

PLAYING  THE  PART  OF  THE  HUNTED  IS  STRANGE.     one might expect someone from the underground to be experienced in the predator—prey dynamic,  & levi  is :    however he hasn’t been in the latter role in  years  thanks to kenny.     that old bastard may not have taught him much of value for day—to—day minutiae,  but he’d taught levi plenty of skills that he likely would never have learned anywhere else ... like how to move so quietly that your opponent can’t hear your footsteps,  footsteps that lead him directly into the window that bertholdt had just dripped his foul,  steaming blood all over.     disgusting.

eren’s titan roars again,  the sound shaking the walls :    good,  he’s nearly here.     if he can time this just right,  levi thinks,  he might be able to get out of here ... sure,  he’ll be laid up for weeks while his leg recovers,  but at least he’ll go on to serve the scouts again.     plainly thinking on it,  the captain isn’t certain what he’d do with himself if that life were to be taken from him ;    being in the survey corps is  all  that  he  knows  now.     damn  it.     erwin must be laughing in his grave.

another roar,  this time from another titan,  & it’s utterly  deafening.     levi steadies himself against the window frame as the crashing footfalls of two battling behemoth beasts nearly bring the building down around them.     gunmetal irises slant to the window & catch sight of the brawling pair ;    it’s eren & ... a titan that he doesn’t recognize but assumes is marleyan,  but all that matters is the strangely reassuring presence of eren’s attack titan.     it’s  his  ticket  out  of  here.

“  behind you,  douchebag.  ”

in a flash he’s leveled the old flare gun on bertholdt’s head & pulls the trigger.     the powerful  bang  as the black flare leaves the barrel sends the captain flying out of the window,  arcing almost perfectly into eren’s bicep,  which he  stabs  with the knife in his free hand to gain a purchase against the heated flesh.

a  black  flare.     he hadn’t remembered loading that one into this old thing ;    he’d just taken it off of the old man when he’d keeled over on that rooftop so long ago.     erwin clearly had some twisted sense of humor right up until the bitter end.

but he’s not out of the woods yet.     being caught between two titans is  hell,   almost as dangerous as being cornered on the roof by bertholdt had been ... but at least he can drag himself to relative safety in the massive creature’s long brown hair,  trembling fingers twining themselves into the strands & gripping as tightly as they can.     he  can  ride  this  out,   even if eren somehow doesn’t know that he’s there.

[onyxium]

“  i never regretted that i followed you.  ” ———@soliidtrust.     (  FROM.  )

HOW  CAN  SHE  SAY  THAT?     the words stick to the back of his throat like honey,  like disease :    sickeningly sweet &  disgusting.     the fucking  SENTIMENT  of it all!

gunmetal irises flicker aside to avoid her gaze,  not because he thinks he shouldn’t comfort her or  doesn’t  deserve  to  see  her  loyalty  laid  bare,   but because he doesn’t trust his own eyes to safely contain the turmoil that’s roiling about within him.     she doesn’t need to see that now.

“  … tch.  ”

levi shifts in the chair beside her cot,  throwing an arm haphazardly around the back of the thing & raising a leg to sit,  cradled,  atop the armrest.     he’s never been one for  DECORUM,   after all,  not even with his squad ;    perhaps it is of  some  comfort  to them   (  to  HER,   he reminds himself bitterly  )   to see him as more than simply another link in the chain of command.     no indeed.     he’s not just  captain  levi,   HUMANITY’S  STRONGEST :    he’s also  HUMAN.

& it’s that humanity in him that draws his eyes back to her,  even if they still can’t meet her gaze.

“  … good,  ”     he offers after a moment of tense silence passes between them,  muddled by his own ineptitude at dealing with the emotions of others.     “  then don’t start to regret it now :    i’ll need you out there.  ”

[onyxium]

BERTHOLDT​.

All bared fangs, slaver dripping, Bertholdt presses into the blade like a rabid dog, choked by an invisible leash. Fear has always been his constant companion. Only the in the face of certain death has it ever ebbed from his mind to allow him to do what needs to be done, to kill who must be killed. Here, with Levi crouched on his chest, smearing his blood onto him, the odds are too uncertain. Bertholdt feels the tension coiled deep in his spine, waiting to be set loose, to se something ablaze.

— In some distant corner of his mind, a young boy stands, mute and stricken, tears running down his hollow cheeks, and stares in helpless horror at the creature he will one day be reduced to. The child doesn’t know yet what it feels like to be backed into a corner, to be hated and hated and hated, and to hate yourself just as much, to want to die, to deserve to die. And to never be goddamn allowed. Look away and keep your mouth shut, kid.

“All the innocent people are dead.” Bertholdt’s voice rises out of his throat like fog out of a broken tomb. He is all graveyard dirt. It isn’t accusation. It isn’t a judgment. At the core of his words sits a silent howl of grief and anger. Violence begets violence. You feel you owe it to the dead, who’d rather be left alone altogether. He can’t quite ignore the wound Levi’s words have torn, even so. No, he cannot transform here. The children are nearby. Somewhere. Families. His comrades. Once again, his comrades. Once again! But one life is not worth the collateral damage. Levi has a point. This is not Shiganshina. 

Bertholdt lets a jerk snap through his body. He twists himself with centimeter precision, every muscle taut and primed for action. The momentum drives him right into the knife. He flips them over, blood gurgling in his throat. He grits his teeth, let its well up, hot and thick, molten copper on his tongue. Steam hisses around the wound, out of his mouth, as he bears down on Levi. His blood drips onto the soldier’s face.

“Take the knife out.” He presses out, barely audible through the butchered windpipe. He drives his knee down on Levi’s thigh. “Or I’ll do it for you.”

TEETH  ARE  BARED  ONCE  MORE  in an animalistic snarl of pain & rage.     bertholdt’s blood  scalds  his  skin,   the unholy shit,  makes him itch beneath the prison of his flesh & the cage of the useless omnidirectional gear that clings to his frame.     his butchered femur grinds against itself where the larger man’s weight bears down on it,  & the captain bites into his lower lip & tongue to silence any noises to indicate the pain it’s caused him  —  HE  WILL  NOT  SHOW  EVEN  A  FRACTION  OF  IT.     give the wolf a taste of blood & surely it will bite down for  more.

“  the fuck kind of deal is that?  ”     levi grits out breathlessly.     “  neither of us fucking wants it :    i don’t want to die or be taken prisoner & you don’t want to transform in such a public place.     you might think you can hide that you’re some lonely,  spineless wretch from me,  but you  CAN’T :    you  care  about  those  people  down  there,   don’t you?     your  COMRADES?  ”

a hand flashes up to grab the hilt of the knife in bertholdt’s throat.     the pad of his thumb traces the worn initials carved into the old wood,  the ghost of a life that might never have led to this one had he never been found.     almost instantly a sickening anger surges to life within him,  bringing with it a rush of heat that sparks all the way from the top of his head to the tips of his toes :    like  hell  is  he  going  to  die  here.     there’s still so much more to do.     more to see.     more to  FIGHT  FOR.

“  … sorry,  kid.      told you before that stronger men than you have tried to kill me :    a broken leg & a hollow threat just ain’t enough to do it.  ”

his movements are still  imperceptibly  fast  in spite of his grievous injuries ;    in seconds levi’s uninjured leg has risen,  foot connecting with bertholdt’s solar plexus to throw him off.     in the process the knife,  his oldest treasure,  is pulled out of the warrior’s throat with a spray of blood,  which levi barely manages to avoid being covered in by rolling out of the way &  DOWN,  DOWN  until——     he rolls  right  off  the  roof  & jams the blade of that precious knife into a wooden support beam to slow his descent just enough to kick in a window & tumble to the floor below.

ESCAPE.    that’s the only thing he can do for now.     without any usable gear or blades & his busted leg,  levi isn’t capable of  shit  in the face of a regenerating opponent :    he’ll have to think quickly if he’s going to make it out of here alive.

the roar of eren’s titan sounds in the distance like a war horn.     he’s getting closer,  RIGHT?

captain levi drags himself up as best he can & immediately makes for the window he’d just come through,  knife clutched in his jaws,  the cool metal fogging more & more with each rattling breath he exhales.     grimy fingers fumble for something tucked into one of his boots,  a last—minute item that he’d absently taken on the off chance he’d need it.     an idea is blossoming in the back of his mind that might kill two birds with one stone,  if  only  he  can  time  it  right.