I must warn you.
I’m not the answer to your mothers prayers or the girl you’ll find in Sunday dresses. instead, I’m the late night adrenalin rushes and the bad ideas that can’t be passed up; the bad Ideas that are so bad, they almost seem a little good. and I’ll make you feel like you’re my whole world, the reason the sun sets and rises. constant conversations and fast movements, late nights and drunken make outs. I’m the reckless rebel with a heart born for escaping small towns.
and you’ll be head over heels for even the littlest things that I do; the way my laugh is funnier than the joke and how I almost never stop talking, how I can always make you laugh or the care free attitude that I live by. I’ll seem so entirely different, unprecedented and extraordinary. because beyond being the girl with a lion in her heart, I’m also the girl with flowers in her soul. how my heart is half gold and half gone. and I’ll make you feel special, before proving that you’re not.
because really; I’m the sound of glass breaking, the tight chested feeling you get when you’re nervous and the stomach dropping feeling when you fall while dreaming. I am everything that is too good to be true. the type of thing where you have to blink twice to make sure it really happened. because you’re mother will love me, but she’ll know in her heart the I will ruin her sweet baby girl, from the first Friday night that you tell her you don’t know where I am. and I’ll wear dresses, but you’ll rarely find me in church on Sunday’s, because I can barely remember where I am Saturday nights.
instead I’ll drown my sorrows in vodka and fill my lungs with smoke in attempt to fill all of my voids. making innocent lovers believe they are something that is not remotely existent because I’ve grown to believe that it no longer does.
because I can’t fix myself, so I turned to breaking others. and past experiences have taught me that hatred and love coincide, that choosing love is a risk not worth taking. so deep in my heart, I’ll want to be absolutely everything that you’ve ever wanted, but in the front of my mind, I understand that I have become those who hurt me. the sheep has become the wolf and the wolf has fallen in love with the black hearted sheep.
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