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Quick update on 2 pallets

Two weeks in and I've hit over $1000 in sales! I haven't even recouped my money back yet but it's a weight off my shoulders knowing that I'm not at a total loss lol Still working something out with Costco on getting a partial refund. Fingers-crossed that I get something back for all the busted appliances!

Check-in #20260524

What have you been up to?

Oops, looks like I some how missed April. Looking back, it's no wonder why lol. Since my last post I went in full swing at this reseller idea: sold house hold items on eBay, sold Mama Tan's wares on Whatnot, got my seller's permit, bought from GovDeals, bought 2 pallets from BStock. It's been a crazy two months.

How are you feeling?

I was initially feeling a little overwhelmed by the 2 pallets that delivered last week but after reading my past post and seeing my journey, I feel proud of where I am and how far I've come. If I haven't gained anything, at least it makes for a good story. Anyways I'm still going through the pallet, clean and testing everything so that I can post it on OfferUp and Facebook Market place. Lucy has been patiently waiting for her garage space to free up again so that we can park the car in it lol. I think even if I sell at 25% MSRP I'd break even so I think I'll focus on that this coming week.

Did you reach your goal?

I definitely did hit my biggest goal which was to start selling something on eBay and ship stuff. I've got a whole shipping station in our spare bed room and converted our garage into a storage unit lol. I've been lacking on the strength training because I've been spending most of my time on processing the pallets. Lucy says I've also been lacking on my house chores :( Did not complete a therapy session.

What's your next goal?

Recover the space in my garage again so that we can park the car in there. I think it will take a month or two to do so I'll be busy for a while.

I'm really proud of myself that I'm giving this business thing an actual shot. Most people don't even bother to try. It's definitely a lot of work.

Check-in #20260322:

What have you been up to?

This month I've been really focused on gaining new skills in preparation of the AI take over. AI has been a huge disruption in every aspect of everything so I just want to be prepared. PayPal's new CEO just joined this month and he mentioned that big changes will be coming. Right now I have all my eggs in one basket (software engineering) and I just want to diversify my skills. Lucy and I have always said nobody gets rich working a 9 - 5 so... cheers to the beginning of trying to move away from that!

So far I've played around with the idea of selling crafts on Etsy and reselling on eBay. After working in leather craft and seeing the things I produce, I don't think anyone is going to be buying my crafts anytime soon lol. They're quite ugly and I am unwilling to spend money buying expensive pieces of leather that to produce higher quality goods haha. Mainly because I feel like my skills aren't there yet and I feel like it would be a waste to produce expensive ugly products. But also because the leather I'm using is subpar, I am feeling less interested in crafting with it... so I'm kind of stuck in a cycle lol. Anyways, let's talk about the reselling idea. I feel like this idea is more approachable because it's not dependent on skill to start selling. I can just buy overstocked items from B-Stock and sell it on eBay and start making money! The challenge here would be storage and finding a product that people would buy. I want to sell to businesses because that's where the money's at. Businesses will buy larger quantities mean the amount per sale would be higher. I'd just need to sell one time to one business versus selling 10 times to 10 different consumers. Less work more money! I'll need to figure out how to do it though.

On my walk today I was thinking maybe I can go to Downtown Gilroy and ask business owners personally about what they use on a day to day basis, where they buy it from, and if they'd buy it from me if I found it at a cheaper price. I can get rejected by them half the time and get used to rejection! This is great skill to have! Anyways just flowing with excitement right now.

How are you feeling?

I feel incredible! I feel like a fire has been lit inside me and I feel determined again. During this week there have been some days where I'll wake up and feel excited to roll out of bed. The past 2 weeks has been the best I've felt in a long time. I've been really in my head about my game plan so some times I'll even give myself a pep talk during my walks with Daisy on what I need to do and what I should be focusing on.

Did you reach your goal?

I didn't quite reach my fitness goal this month. I still need to get workouts back into my daily routine. Now that we have some travel plans and a wedding to go to this June, there's more motivation to get healthy!

Still writing in this journal, yay!

Checked that my company does offer free therapy sessions as part of my benefits but I ran into some health coverage issues with Transcarent and FIS. I'll try to schedule my first session before the next check in!

I have not been talking to strangers... if I start surveying business owners that'll take care of this goal.

I started planning for starting my business!!! This week I applied for an EIN, registered for a DBA / FBN, opened my business credit card and checking account! The ball is MOVING!

What's your next goal?

Have sold something on eBay and learn to ship stuff out.

Be consistent with strength training

Complete 1 therapy session

Check-in

Just wanted to do a quick check-in with myself this weekend. I feel like the last one I did, i was in a bit of a hurry. I guess that's the difference between writing one of these on the train versus having the time to sit and think without feeling the need to rush. In the last check in I feel like I barely even remember what I wrote.

Anyways, I feel like I've got down my commute schedule moving forward. I'll be leaving the house around 8:30am to get into office by 9:30am, then leave the office by 2:30pm. That's a good 5 hours in the office, then I'll work the remaining 3 hours at home until 5:30pm. What about lunch? Ideally my commute home will be my lunch lol but we all know that's not happening. I guess I'll adjust my time as work gets busier. I'd still like to make friends and socialize as of right now. I think making work friends is important... otherwise whats the point of commuting to work.

Now the next step is to figure out how to add workouts back into my schedule and be able to do it consistently... Since I get off at 5:30, I should still technically be able to workout at my usual time but I've just been feeling so lazy lately. I think maybe because so many things have changed in my schedule it just feels like a lot. Once I get into the groove of things I feel like it'll be easier to incorporate more back into my day.

After getting back into working out I should try to find another fun project to do so I'd have something interesting to talk about with my peers.

Check-in: February 2026

How are you feeling?

I feel in many ways that commuting to work has improved my life. Yes, I get less time in the day... 2-3 hours missing from my work day actually (which is not insignificant), but I feel like in many ways it's added to my life. I've always felt a need to leave the house to feel productive and I never really knew why. I'm still not sure but since I am leaving the house now at least three times a week, I don't feel like I'm wasting away. Maybe because I feel less bored less often. What have you been up to?

I am writing about this as I sit on the train to work :) Today is my second time commuting to the office by bike and train. The first time commuting was a bit uneasy. I wasn't familiar with the route and I wasn't familiar with the bike. Today I took my old college bike and the ride was much more enjoyable. Maybe because the frame fits me better or it just feels more familiar despite not having gears.

At work after my 3rd week of onboarding, leadership decided to switch me to a new team. A high visibility, high impact team. It seems like the universe does not want me to chill, at least not yet. I think I agree. With the rise of AI, I am better off honing in my skills while I am still relevant. I'm definitely taking this as a sign. Did you reach your goal?

I've been listening to the news on my commutes to the office. It helps me feel more... "plugged in" like I'm more aware of what everyone else is tuning in on in the world. It's nice, I'm enjoying it so far. Plus it gives me more topics to discuss with Lucy.

I started keto! I'm actually on my last week of my 1 month trial run. It's been really fun because I get to eat foods I wouldn't normally eat; stuff like nuts, butter, fat, and skin. I used to rarely eat this stuff because it was too high in calories and I wanted to eat more candy or chips instead but man... when your body runs on fat and you eat fat... BOY does it taste good! I used to eat the fat on a steak and I don't remember it tasting this good, I'd feel kinda gross to be honest. This diet has taught be a few things: fat is important for the body, never cut out everything, and keep your macros balanced. The first week of transitioning was really rough. I was light headed and dizzy and dehydrated. I felt weak even after going up a single flight of stairs but after the first week, everything felt more normal. Definitely less brain fog. Being on keto while on my period was interesting. I didn't crave carbs much during keto but then all of a sudden I wanted to eat fruits and cookies and I was always hungry. Now post-period, I don't feel hungry when I wake up anymore. PMS was also rough, I felt particularly less patient then normal and got frustrated with Lucy for no reason. At the end of this keto trial I'd like to swing between keto and low-carb to keep my insulin low for both weight and brain benefits.

I've been mostly been able to keep up with 7k - 10k steps a day so that's been really good.

Lucy and I have been watching Disney movies since coming back from Disneyland. So far we finished watching Toy Story series. Haven't quite finished watching Star Wars yet.

Whats your next goal?

Keep trying to talk to strangers.

Keep writing in my journal (so that I know what to say to strangers)

Be consistent in strength training again.

Check if my company offers therapy benefits.

Notes: How to be improve social skills

Daily: go to a random word generator website and talk about it for 1 minute

Always try to talk to your neighbors while standing in line - "Do(ing) anything fun this weekend?" - "What's your goal for 2026?" - "Working on anything exciting recently?"

Three magic phrases: - "This made me think of you...." - "Last time we talked, you mentioned..." - "You're always so...." (this one will be tough)

Popularity - To be like-able is to like others. The more you like other people the more like-able you are.

Desensitize to rejection

2026 - The year of change

Hey journal, it's been a while. After reading through the old posts I feel like a lot has happened and a lot hasn't happened in the past 5 years. The feeling of complacency never really left. Looking back, it seems to correlate with my working-from-home. I think maybe I need to physically be out of the house for me to feel like I'm accomplishing something. Being at home with Lucy all the time has made me super reliant on her; for company, for entertainment, for food, just about everything. We do everything together and I feel like I've put myself in a handicapped position. No blame on Lucy, it's purely in my personality.

2026 is going to be a year of change. Today is the Sunday before I start my new job at Paypal, before I go into office 3x a week. Yes I was required to go into office at BILL but once a week didn't seem like a big enough push. Hopefully this time around I'll make some friends. Well not hopefully... I'm going to make it my goal. I have a lot of goals this year.

2026 Goals:

Keep a gratitude journal Try to be less of a hater, be less of a grump when it comes to people

Start writing down goals again, maybe start off with once a week. This helps process thoughts and ideas so that I can better communicate and share with people.

Try out therapy just to see what it's like

Make new friends / improve social skills Say something to the person next to you when waiting in line. "Doing anything fun this weekend?" "What's your big goal for 2026?" "Any exciting projects you're working on?"

Go keto for a week to know what it feels like

Continue strength training

Walk more - maintain 7k - 10k steps a day

Learn mandarin

Complete the Star Wars saga

STRETCH GOAL: Start a business (maybe finally Airbnb the Madison house)

Microdosing

For a couple months now I’ve been microdosing on and off since November 2021 but only started doing it consistently in February 2022 after I made my first psychedelic harvest! This whole time I felt like it wasn’t really doing anything for me or helping improve my life in anyway. If anything microdosing during work hours kind of hindered my focus sometimes.

It was only until last Monday, March 7th when I went on a light trip did I notice something change. That day I decided to taste test some caps that had spored to see if they were bitter. I was also curious to see if they were any good (were they even magic?). When I went back to work to do some code review I was pretty sure nothing was probably gonna happen. About 20 minutes in, I noticed the letters were startling to swirl on the screen. Huh.. maybe thats all it’s gonna be so I tried to proceed as normal. After reading the same line about 10 times I decided that I can no longer focus and work so I went on my lunch break to try to enjoy the visuals. Things were swirling breathing and waving.

After this light trip (1.5 hrs), I stepped right back to work and was mega focus and productive the following 3 hours. I had worked until 7 pm that night. And continued to check things off my todo list. Like following up on the NY trip.

I didn’t notice at the time but looking back I rarely follow up or initiate planning. That night I followed up on the NY trip, and then the day after I looked at flights to get the conversation going. I never look at flights. Something had made the complaining procrastinating voice in my head quieter and I just got things done. Crazy. For the week after I had been so productive!

Another thing. I microdosed today in the evening then went to do my boxing workout. I’ve tried hard many times but my hand eye coordination just isn’t quite there. My body doesn’t move fast enough to keep up with the hits, but today I was able to keep up. I was totally out of breath but I was doing it. Mind and body just felt so in sync today. I only noticed until at the very end of my workout. Could be all the extra serotonin receptors firing or it could be that I actually warmed up before my workout today. I plan on doing another test with the same workout to see if its just a coincidence.

Daisy changed my life

In 2018 I made a post about how I wanted a dog and how I think it will change me (https://opalartifacts.tumblr.com/post/178349086089/missing-in-my-life).

Come September 2021, Lucy and I got a golden retriever puppy and named her Daisy. She is everything I wanted from that post in 2018. It’s feels so special with Daisy because I was actually a part of raising her, molding her, teaching her, and loving her for everything that she has become today. We are growing together and learning together every single day. With Kimchi, I felt like he was pretty set in his ways and that he wasn’t really MY dog. I always felt like he was Lucy’s and that there were things that I wished were different about him. This also indicates that I don’t love him for the way he is.

Although it’s been only 3 months since getting Daisy, I already can’t imagine my life without her. I love her so much that thinking that one day she will leave brings tears to my eyes. Something about those innocent eyes that gaze into your soul. The eyes that fully trusts and loves you. I just want to protect her innocence and watch her be happy go lucky forever. Daisy has taught me patience and that making mistakes is perfectly okay. If someone is always preventing you from making your mistakes, the lessons won’t stick. She also taught me that being mad and loud won’t get the outcome that you want.

Note: I noticed that I talk to Daisy a lot more than I ever did with Kimchi. I talk to her even when we’re alone and on our walks. Something that I didn’t do very much with Kim.

Oh Daisy, I hope you stay like this forever. Mommy loves you very much.

2021 Year End

What have you accomplished this year?

- got a new job - became a home owner - got a new puppy - got our first Christmas tree - went on my first spiritual mushroom trip - started cultivating my first batch of psychedelic mushrooms - went on my first mushroom hunting hike (was not as what I expected) - got married - got into fountain pens - attended 3 weddings - rekindled relationships with Andy and family

What are your goals for 2022?

- do more with my time, stop “should“ing myself, don’t stop yourself from doing something you want just because Lucy doesn’t want to do it - learn Vietnamese - sign up for supernatural - cook more - use VR chat to gain confidence in speaking my mind, be more comfortable with being uncomfortable - meditate more - exercise more

Post Wedding Thoughts

Hey guys, I had so much fun this weekend that I’m still reminiscing about it even today. I know I’ve been out of the circle for a while. I didn’t realize how much I missed y’all until we all came together this weekend and I felt nothing but love. Physically being in Steph’s old house brought back so many memories and really showed me how much history we’ve had. From nights after the club, endless potlucks, to random DnD nights. Our group may not be perfect but we grew up together so that means y’all are family. I may be closer to some family members than others but each of you make up this family and have helped shape who I am today. It’s easy for me drift away and blame it on the distance but y’all are important to me so I’m going to try to make more of an effort to come out and see y’all. Cuz yallz are the best!

Friendships are important

Friendships of all shapes and sizes are important because It’s important to have a variety of friends that you can share different experiences with. Not everyone is into the same things and that’s okay. As an individual, we each have a wide variety of interest and hobbies and it’s healthy to have different friends for the occasion. For example, I really enjoy social drinking. For the past year I’ve been looking for any opportunity to just chill, drink, do dumb shit, and have fun but outside of Too Old, it seems like not a lot of people are down for that.. After attending Stephanie’s wedding this weekend, it immediately fulfilled that void and made me realize how much I’ve missed them. This group may be imperfect and dysfunctional at times but they are familiar and apart of who I am. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but it’s also important to have your own. I may have let other people’s judgement influence my own but I’m starting to think that I should re-evaluate friendship and what it means to me. For the past two years I’ve been overly focused on “cutting out the fat” but that took me to a place of isolation where I felt like I didn’t really have anyone on my side. In hindsight, it seemed like I was cutting people out for the wrong reasons. Why close the door and lock yourself in when you don’t have to? You never know where an open door can lead you.

I’m sorry Too Old for the lost time. I really appreciate being apart of your lives and can’t wait for the years to come.

July 2021

How are you feeling?

I feel good. Still feeling good about life. I love our house, been getting pre-occupied with a good game while playing with good company. One thing I feel like I’ve been lacking is self confidence about my looks though. Definitely been letting myself go the past 2 - 3 years and I’ve been struggling to find the motivation to get back on the train.

What have you been up to?

I’ve been playing Monster Hunter Stories 2 with Michelle and Anna and me and Michelle have been pretty invested. To the point where Lucy thinks I’m not spending enough time with her haha. What a life, I have someone that loves me and wants to spend time with me :) I love my fiance so much!

Did you reach your goal?

Yes, kind of! I started my mushroom grows again, this time around it’s going to be Pink Oysters, Chestnut, Lion’s Mane, and Black Pearls. No idea how they’re going to turn out, they don’t smell quite like the blue oysters that I’ve been growing so I hope they’re not contaminated. Our house is finally completely furnished and 90% unpacked! The last place that needs unpacking is the garage (which we will hopefully get to today). We threw an awesome house warming on July 4th with a bunch of our friends and it was a success. Got our friendship wall going and it’s really cute! In my previous post I also wanted to make another web app for fun but didn’t write it down because I thought I wouldn’t actually do it, BUT IM DOING IT! WOOHOO!

What’s your next goal?

Haven’t quite started exercising again yet so I definitely want to start. The app I’m making is actually an exercise routine app. I really hope this will keep me on track and motivate me to stay consistent. Calisthenics is not easy.

Cheers!

Riding on memory train

When I’m high, I get very in-my-head, often lost in thought. Yesterday I spent the night re-living childhood moments with crystal clarity. It was as if I was transported back in time and dropped exactly at a moment in my life. Every detail was exactly how I remembered it and I could choose which area I wanted to look at and observe but each memory only lasted a couple seconds before I was dropped into a different memory. It was like I was on a moving train, passing by memories. It would stop and I could look at whatever I wanted through my binoculars, but the train would move again onto the next destination. I remember thinking, “man everything is so detailed, color, texture, look and feel”, I doubt I’m going to remember any of this stuff when I wake up tomorrow. In one memory, I was taken back to China Town. I was on the play structure. I could see and feel the bounciness of the black rubber mats underneath my feet. I placed my hand on one of the metal poles, it was warm from the sun and thought “oh yeah, this play structure was red and green trimmings” and then I was whisked away to another memory. In another memory, I was sitting on the small red plastic stool in the kitchen back at the Madison house. I look down and I was holding a chestnut shell, scraping out the last of my chestnut with a metal spoon. Mom was in the kitchen making a second batch and I was in front of the TV watching The Simpsons. I remembered how it tasted, the texture my chestnut shell, and the color of the contents inside.

June 2021

How are you feeling?

I've feeling fantastic on this Saturday morning! I woke up early today and just thought I'd climb out of bed to enjoy this new house.

What have you been up tp?

We've been super busy last month and this month cleaning, packing, moving, unpacking, cleaning, furniture shopping. Also, in case you haven't guessed it already, we got the house and we're moved in! Also I proposed last week so now we're also engaged lol We're also starting to plan for our vacation this year. Thinking to visit Anna in NY sometime this August, and Costa Rico in October. Also been catching up with some old friends which is nice. Loni reached out recently and updated me on her programming journey :0 She's quitting nursing and starting programming! CRAZY! Also Vivian the intern reached out cuz she;s having problems finding a job :\

What's your next goal?

Get settled into the new house and be entirely unpacked! All those things I said in March are still to be completed lol. Slowly but surely.

"I want to buy new liquid culture to make different mushroom blocks. I want to get back into wood working. I want to start exercising more regularly to lose weight. I want to host a house warming with friends and family" - Mar 2021

March 2021

How are you feeling?

I've been feeling like I'm in a bit of a rut. I've been bored a lot and having trouble finding something to do to keep myself entertained. I keep feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen.

What have you been up to?

Lots of changes this month! I start Varo this Tuesday and we're locked in to buying a house! If everything goes well, we'll be able to start moving on May 19th! Even got my mom's blessing! Also took my parents to Muir woods this weekend! If there's one thing that quarantine has taught me, it's that family time is important and much needed in my life. When all the sparkles and glamor fades away, you're family will always be there. I really really think family is important and that we should spend more time with our parents.

Did you reach your goal?

Yes! We're on our way of getting our dream home, I got a new job, my relationship with family has been great, and rekindled some old friendships!

What's your next goal?

I have a bunch of things I want to do when we finally settle into the new house. I want to buy new liquid culture to make different mushroom blocks. I want to get back into wood working. I want to start exercising more regularly to lose weight. I want to host a house warming with friends and family. I can't wait!

Photo Calendar

Make Lucy a custom photo calendar as a new years gift

Jan: Winter / Cozy / Snowboarding Feb: Valentines Day Mar: Coffee meets Bagel / Rain / Spring Apr: Fields of Flowers / Mushrooms May: Flowers / Cinco de mayo / Jun: Summer Wear Jul: Lucy Aug: Rosemary Sep: Autumn / Sweater Weather Oct: Halloween Nov: Thanksgiving Dec: Christmas

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