* 𝘾𝙊𝙎𝙈𝙄𝘾 𝘿𝙐𝙎𝙏

[orbitng]

( 𝙤𝙧𝙗𝙞𝙩𝙣𝙜 . ) — a dependent roleplay blog affiliated with vanguardiahq. home of tobin william hale, twenty4, third year, honing the ability to manipulate gravity.

toby hale : intro, pinterest, connections.

[aireborne]

closed starter for @orbitng.

alejandra drew a slow, wavering breath, the kind that did nothing to steady the frantic pulse tucked beneath her ribs. she’d been drifting through the day like a ghost trapped in her own skin, every thought snagging on the same jagged edges of the simulation’s aftermath. a month should’ve been enough time to heal, or at least pretend she had, yet the restless nights kept piling up. the masquerade ball had given everyone else an excuse to slip back into comfort ⎯⎯ except for her. today had been worse. her mind felt like it was filled with fog, thick and suffocating, swallowing every word every time she was asked a question. each blank answer left a crack in her pride, and the professor’s disappointed glance had settled like a weight on her sternum. now the classroom sat in silence, chairs pushed back, the faint echo of footsteps already fading down the hallway. she hadn’t moved, just stuck staring at the board as if it might finally reveal the answers she couldn’t find. she only surfaced when someone’s presence brushed warm against the edge of her awareness. blinking, she lifted her gaze, and there he was ⎯⎯ toby, lingering like he’d been debating whether to disturb her spiraling. it had been a couple of days since their confessions, since the way his heartbeat had steadied her when she’d curled beside him, then quietly slipped out the next morning. they’d talked, checked in, drifted back into their familiar ways for the most part. though she honestly still wasn’t sure if they were officially dating now and if anyone else were allowed to know about them, so she’d been trying to maintain a safe distance. she attempted to stand, only for her knees to weaken, leaving her sinking back into the chair with a soft, defeated exhale. his concern was written all over him. she cleared her throat, lips parting. “ i don’t want to talk about it, ” ale murmured, honey - colored hues dropping to her hands as her fingers curled inwards. “ i think i’m just gonna go back to my room, catch a late lunch later. ”

[orbitng]

his class had wrapped up a few minutes early but rather than heading back to his dorm, or grabbing lunch like most of the other students — some even extending an invite to him — toby found himself drifting down the hallway with a purpose he still wasn't ready to examine too closely. his mind was focused on their brief interactions earlier that morning, alejandra appeared like she was somewhere else entirely, her smile hadn't quite reach her eyes — it didn't sit right with him. toby paused outside of the room and scanned each face that exited, waiting for her to appear ; listening to the muffled scraping of chairs and the fading footsteps and chatter. he poked his head inside and let out a quiet breath, then took a few slow steps into the room until it was just the two of them. his hands twitched at his sides when she made the effort to stand, then she slipped back into her seat and he fought every instinct in him to race forward, to steady her. what if she didn't want that right now? concern was openly written across his face, his jaw tightened as he listened, then he nodded once. " okay, " he murmured, his voice much steadier than the way he felt. " you don't have to talk about anything, " a beat. " i came looking for you for a reason though, " his tone stayed gentle, cautious, but a quiet firmness lingered underneath — he'd offer her the chance to tell him what was going on before prying. " i wanted to see you. " toby crossed the room after the admission, his steps slow the closer he got to her. " so if you're taking a late lunch, i suppose that means i am too. " his hand brushed along her back, the other grabbing her bag and throwing it over his free shoulder before extending the hand out to her. " let me help you. "

[aireborne]

the femme blinked at him, caught off guard by the way he tossed the accusation so casually, scoffing as her mouth moved before she could filter a single thought. “ i’m ⎯⎯ not, ” she insisted, the first part sharp then dipping into something uncertain. heat gathered beneath her skin again, not embarrassment exactly, more like the sudden awareness that she wasn’t lying as convincingly as she hoped. she’d never given any real attention to the girls orbiting toby, never thought she had any place to feel bothered by it. he was allowed to be wanted, and she was supposed to stay untouched by that. but being here now, with him looking at her like she was the center of an entirely different universe, the idea of someone else having a claim on even a sliver of him made something stubborn spark alive inside her. then that soft pout, that quiet question offered like something delicate, triggered another small realization that there was nothing he could ask that she’d refuse. ale eased herself beside him, slipping into the space he made. his hold wrapped around her so seamlessly. “ yeah, i’ll stay. ” she murmured, nestling closer, gently wrapping an arm around his waist. no longer caring about curfews or rules or the trouble she’d walk into if anyone found her here. none of it mattered. she closed her eyes briefly, letting the silence settle between them, then exhaled a breath. “ hey, ” the question rose before she could pull it back, threaded with worry and hope in equal measure. “ do you think we’ll be okay ? i mean … considering we might’ve just ruined our friendship tonight. ” because she knew what they’d done. she knew the line they’d stepped over. she knew once feelings like these surfaced, there was no way to shove them back into the dark. she knew she didn’t want to. she also knew this — him, them, whatever they were becoming — was worth every risk. still, a quiet anxiety echoed inside her, one she couldn’t silence … the fact that they’d changed everything.

[orbitng]

toby felt the last bit of tension melt from his body when she laid with him, he let out a slow breath and pulled her as close as he physically could. it still shocked him that this snuck up on the both of them so easily. it was as if in one single moment, there was a moment of clarity and everything about this made sense. they just admitted to their feelings and now they were wrapped up in each others arms like it was the most natural thing in the world. he didn't want it to end. toby started playing with the ends of her hair that fell against her back, trying his best to bring her comfort too. " did we? " his head tilted back to look at her, a warm smile ready to meet her. " it worries me too but you're still my best friend, maybe that just looks like this now — whatever this might be. we don't have to figure that part out just yet but ... " he shrugged, blushing a bit at the idea of that conversation even taking place. then, with a warm smile, he plants a kiss on her cheek and pulls her back into a tight embrace, letting his eyes flutter shut while he synced his breaths up with hers, " i think that we've both been through so much already that no matter what happens, we'll find a way to be okay. "

[mishellejones-old]

Whose idea was the fake key?

Hmm. I don’t know, should we tell them?

[aireborne]

she didn’t stand a chance against the way he spoke, each word landing with a sincerity that made her pulse stutter. heat crept up her cheeks before she could stop it, blooming warm and embarrassingly obvious. compliments had never sat comfortably on her, usually feeling like clothes tailored for someone else. praises meant only to shape her into the image people want to see. but from him, they settled differently. she let out a soft laugh in an attempt to brush away the pressure in her chest with a teasing lilt. “ dios, ” she scoffed, playfully rolling her eyes, “ you really are quite the charmer, aren’t you ? no wonder you have groupies. ” she chuckled again, though it was easier to joke than admit the way his words settled deep, how he easily made it sound like he genuinely believed in them, in her ⎯⎯ so much so that it secretly made her wanna believe, too. when he shifted closer, her body simply folded into the space he offered, instinctive and unafraid. she melted into him, letting his warmth sink into her bones. she let him guide her into the curve of his arm, let her fingers relax against the mattress, let herself feel. she tilted her head, drawn in by the softness in his tone, curiosity flickering through her like a spark. leaning in closer, voice dipping into something gentle and almost breathless. “ … what is it ? ”

[orbitng]

oh, her laugh could truly cure anything for him. toby's smile grew wide at the sound of it, it gave him butterflies — he'd heard it countless times before and always searched for ways to hear it again. " groupies? hm, hardly even noticed. jealous, rhodes? " he teased with a raised brow, an amused grin plastered on his mouth. if she knew, really knew, that half the time he said things just to see her eyes soften, or to catch that soft laugh under her breath, she'd realize that the only person he was trying to charm was her. he's quick to soften again, exhaling quietly and slowly to again ground himself when the very warmth she brings sends his heart in a frenzy. his attempt at stalling on the question he asked her, the direction of conversation he led them toward, was clear in the way his breath caught somewhere tight in his chest. the words he wants to say feel too big, too risky, like one wrong move could make everything between them crack. his fingers brush against hers intentionally, a soft and timid question in their own right. then, he started to smile. toby pulled back from her to crawl into his bed — tucking himself tight under the covers and propping his head up on his pillow, a playful pout replacing the smile. " will you stay with me? " toby asked quietly, lifting the covers as an invitation into his arms. " i'm pretty sleepy, dunno if i'll be effective enough to sneak you out until morning so ... should play it safe ... "

[aireborne]

features softened at his apology, and ale instantly shook her head. “ no, no. you don’t owe me that, ” she mumbled, brushing her thumb along the side of his hand as though to underline the thought. “ i just had a hunch, but i figured you weren’t ready to talk about it then. i didn’t want to make the situation heavier than it already was. ” there was no judgment in her words, only a tender kind of honesty. she ’d spent half her life building walls that were nearly impossible to scale, and somehow toby had made it look effortless. the irony wasn’t lost on her. when he teased her, she smiled, nudging his knee lightly with her own. “ well, newsflash, hale ⎯⎯ you’ve always gotten special treatment from me. even when i pretended you didn’t. ” it slipped out before she could decide whether saying it was a good idea, but she didn’t take it back. it was true. she’d always been more comfortable with him in ways she couldn’t explain then. him resting his forehead on her shoulder made her still in a way that wasn’t fear, wasn’t hesitation ⎯⎯ more like recognition. she let her hand drift to the back of his head, fingertips tracing through his hair with an unthinking affection. his statement loosened something inside her, letting out a small chuckle. “ if we had met way before the time we actually did, i highly doubt you’d even notice me. ” she quietly admitted, lifting her chin up slightly to rest on top of his head. “ i kept to myself a lot. back then i wasn’t … someone people cared about. i made sure of it. ” it felt safer staying in the background when she was younger, keeping her head down. she didn’t want anyone digging around in her life and finding things she wasn’t ready to carry out in the open. and by the time people started paying attention, it was only because the school had chosen her to be their poster girl to parade around. the idea stuck to her though. if they had crossed paths sooner, maybe it would’ve saved them both from a lot of things. or maybe they wouldn’t have understood each other yet. she has no clue what would’ve happened, but she’s glad that he came into her life when he did. she’s never felt this at ease with anyone, but with him, offering herself up like this felt like the most natural thing in the world.

[orbitng]

she always had a way of dismantling his defenses without even really trying. she didn't realize how easily she knocked the breath out of his lungs just by choosing to understand him, instead of pushing like the others before. he nearly unraveled at the brush of her thumb, it was always the smallest things with her — the natural gentleness that made him feel seen in ways he didn't know he needed. " well maybe one day we can both talk about that stuff a little more. especially when it's weighing heavy, " he offers quietly, nervously, like he wasn't familiar with the vulnerability behind it but wanting it as long as it was with her. when she threaded her fingertips through his hair, toby didn't even try to hide the way he leaned into her. it all felt like something he'd been waiting for without even knowing it, like it fit him in a way nothing else had. " i would've noticed you, " he said confidently. even if she'd kept her walls sky-high, he knew she still would've caught his eye. maybe he wouldn't have understood her yet and maybe neither of them would've been ready for each other, but he couldn't imagine a world where he walked past her without feeling that pull. " yeah, i definitely would've noticed you. do you think you don't light up a room the second you walk in? it's all i notice. " and then, sitting together on the side of his bed, he let himself move closer. it was subtle at first but then he shifted slowly, almost testing, until their sides were pressed fully together and the mattress dipped beneath their combined weight. naturally, inevitably in each other's space. he lifted his head and let his arm slip around her, fingers smoothing over the line of her back. he breathed her in, letting the moment settle over him. he turned slightly toward her, just enough that his knee bracketed hers — their legs tangled together. and in the quiet shared breaths, it hit him with startling clarity that they had found each other exactly when they were meant to. " can i ask you something? "

[nicola-coughlan]

THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL 4.08 | How Do You Get to Carnegie Hall?

[aireborne]

the moment his fingers brushed her back, her breath tangled in her throat. she wasn’t prepared for how gentle he’d be. the glide of the zipper, the heat of his breath on her shoulders … it was ridiculous how quickly her resolve threatened to dissolve. she held herself still, almost fighting the instinct to lean back into him. when he stepped away, she felt the absence like a sudden draft. but then he spoke again, and every thought she’d had evaporated. the story unraveled slowly, painfully, and alejandra listened as if the world outside the walls had gone silent. he had never trusted anyone with this. she knew that. and as each detail landed, her heart felt like it was being cracked open. guilt recognizes guilt. it pressed against her ribs until she could hardly swallow. “ you were just a kid. it wasn’t your fault. ” she murmured, practically echoing what he said to her during the aptitude test, the words rough with a certainty she wished she actually possessed. she was saying it for him, but the hypocrisy of it stung like salt. because she’d lived her whole life convinced she deserved every scar her past left behind. and now, listening to him tear himself apart, she felt the cruel contradiction of wanting him to forgive himself while knowing she couldn’t do the same. she walked away only to finish tugging her dress off her body, the fabric sliding smoothly to the floor. the hoodie he’d set out swallowed her whole, soft and warm and unmistakably his. the sleeves skimmed past her fingers, brushing her thighs as she crossed the room and sank beside him. the bed dipped beneath her weight. she didn’t touch him yet. she needed a second — some fragile little beat — before she even trusted herself to speak. the silence stretched until she finally exhaled, low and shaky. “ that’s what you saw, wasn’t it ? ” she whispered, not really asking. more like admitting a suspicion that had been sitting in her stomach. “ during the simulation, before you found me. you said you didn’t see anything but … that’s what it made you relive. ” she finally reached for toby’s hand, curling her fingers around his with a softness she reserved only for him. her thumb brushed his knuckles, a slow back - and - forth meant to ground him ⎯⎯ and, maybe, herself. “ i think your parents have already forgiven you, ” she spoke, tightening her hold just a little. “ wherever they are now, i’m sure they’re not blaming you one bit for any of it. ” the truth was she believed that more easily for him than she ever could for herself. but she wasn’t about to let him carry that burden alone. not when she knew exactly how it felt to live with a ghost made out of your own regret.

[orbitng]

had it not been for the topic of their conversation, toby would have struggled to keep his eyes away from her when he heard her dress hit the floor. they remained locked to his lap until he felt the bed dip beside him, gaze immediately shifting toward her, body sliding just a tad closer as he chased her warmth. " yeah, yeah it was, how'd you know? sorry, i mean ... for lying about it. i don't really talk about it, it's actually something i try to keep a secret. " eyes follow their hands as she finds his again, his shoulders relaxing the second he felt her touch. how could one person have that kind of power over him? one touch and he felt the worries disappear, his eyes followed her thumb as it brushed his knuckles. each word that left her mouth, a part of him believed — maybe it's because she could understand him in ways others couldn't. would they have forgiven him if they had the ability to do so? he could believe it, but maybe they could help each other believe it together. " you're real good at that you know? " toby finally spoke up, head tilting toward her and eyes narrowing a bit while he studied her, " making people feel better. unless i'm just getting special treatment right now cause you like me so much, " he adds with a small smile, then gives her shoulder a light nudge with his own. " but i think our parents are in that place together. maybe that's how we're even sitting here today. " he exhales softly, absently playing with her fingers as a distraction from their grief, at least for right now. maybe they finally deserved a break. with a dramatic sigh, he leaned down until his forehead met her shoulder, searching for comfort in this new way he quickly learned meant simply finding her. " i wish i knew you a long time ago. "

[aireborne]

the smirk ale gave was pure bravado, a flimsy little shield against the fact that her pulse had just started sprinting at the thought. “ oh, you wanna help ? ” she drawled, arching a brow at him over her shoulder. “ then maybe you can start by unzipping the back of my dress. i can’t reach it. ” it came out playful, teasing, like she was daring him to react ⎯⎯ even though the truth was that the idea of his hands anywhere near her spine made a shiver run through her. she ’d never admit that, at least not out loud. not when they were still figuring out what this was, what they’d both somehow slid into tonight. he continued to speak and she placed the picture frame back onto his nightstand with the gentleness it deserved, fingers lingering for a beat longer than necessary. “ not just the eyes. you have her smile too, y'know. ” her hands lifted, slowly undoing the jeweled pins in her hair. each soft strand slipped down, easing the ache on her scalp and making her feel more like herself in a way she desperately needed. for a moment, she couldn’t help but take another glance at his family photo. toby had never talked about any of this. not with her. not with anyone as far as she’d ever noticed. and she’d never pushed, because she knew what it felt like when people asked for pieces of you you weren’t ready to give. “ you’ve never really told me anything about them, ” she said quietly, sliding off her jewelry one by one and setting each piece neatly beside the picture. of course she’s curious, deeply so, but careful in that tender, deliberate manner she’s learned to be with him. “ what … what happened ? ” the question slipped out with more vulnerability than she meant. but standing here in his room, barefoot and half undone, she couldn’t pretend she didn’t want to know him more. all of him. even the parts he kept tucked away.

[orbitng]

it took him a few moments to react, not expecting that response from her but enjoying it nonetheless. suddenly the room had gotten warmer, and toby pulled at the collar of his hoodie a bit because of it — he'd blame that for the blush on his cheeks. he stepped behind her, watching her little movements before delicate hands begin to pull at her dress zipper. however toby went completely silent at the change in their conversation, afraid that if he answered truthfully, the moment between them would be ruined. how do you tell someone about that? he already dreaded seeing those that witnessed it live during the test because he wouldn't know how to face them again after that. then, cautiously, his eyes lift to the side of her face he could see from over her shoulder — studying her closely, searching for intent but only finding comfort. " it's not really something i can bring up in casual conversation, it's pretty brutal actually, " he pointed out to buy more time, then slowly traced his hand along her shoulder, before finally stepping away from her and returning to his previous spot. he didn't have to tell her. he didn't have to tell anyone. but god, she made it feel so easy for him to want to. " um — well, i was a pretty difficult kid. got in trouble with them a lot. at first it was over typical things like ... talking back to my teachers or rolling my eyes at the dinner table. then it felt like everything i did was wrong. they yelled so much, sometimes i think they just assumed everything was my fault even when it wasn't. guess i was just easy to blame, i don't know. i was an angry kid because of it though, " his voice is quiet and only enough for her to hear, and his eyes flickered between her and the wall nervously. without even really realizing it, he slid his hands into the front pouch of his hoodie and kept them there — away from view, they carried innocent blood after all. would she judge him for this? if he went further, would she turn and run far away from him and never look back? he was afraid of that thought, it made him a little nauseous even. but she cared enough to ask, and she didn't get that choice with him during the aptitude test, so in a way he felt like he owed her a truthful response. that, and he trusted her. " i didn't know i was like this then, that i had an ability. so when i went to open the car door, i killed them — the car just cr— " he exhaled, voice catching in his throat, and he shook his head while meeting her eyes again, " it was bad. unintentional but it still happened because of me. "

[aireborne]

the walk through valor hall felt strangely intimate. she’d never stepped foot in the male dorms before. rule - following was exactly ale’s brand ⎯⎯ well, most of the time anyway. still, there was something thrilling about the empty hallways. being here with him didn’t feel wrong. it felt like something she would’ve found an excuse to do ages ago if she’d ever let herself admit she wanted him like this. when they stepped into his room, she blinked, then let out a short, amused puff of breath. “ not gonna lie, i was sorta expecting this place to look worse, ” she teased, kicking off her heels with the relief of someone returning from war. her toes finally touched the floor and she nearly sighed out loud. she glanced around again, taking in the neatness, the posters, the quiet little corners that felt like him. she was getting a glimpse into a part of him that she’d never seen before, and it was weirdly comforting. his slightly nervous ramble tugged a small grin from her, fond in a way she didn’t bother hiding. “ i’m good with whatever you wanna do. we’re in your room, remember ? so you get to pick. ” she paused, running her hands through her gown and grimacing slightly. “ i’d like to borrow a shirt or a hoodie though. i’m wearing a corset underneath this dress and have literally not taken a proper breath since seven p.m. ” she continued to wander a little, not touching anything until she reached his nightstand. the photo caught her eye first ⎯⎯ the worn edges, the way the frame had clearly been moved around more times than anything else in here. she picked it up carefully, like it was something precious. because to him, it obviously was. toby looked young … younger than she’d ever imagined him. softer, almost. standing between a couple who looked proud in that classic, warm, uncomplicated way. they looked exactly like the kind of typical family she used to see in american movies. “ these your parents ? ” she asked, though she already knew the answer. her voice gentled without her meaning it to. a small smile tugged at her lips as she traced a thumb lightly over the glass. “ you look just like them. especially your mom. ”

[orbitng]

for a while, he lost himself watching her move about the room, his heart rate spiking at the intimacy behind it. the way his life was laid out for her to see, everything written in the details around his room. this was his safe place — it felt right to have her here. it didn't make him uncomfortable in the slightest, just afraid of how intense his feelings for her really were. " give it a few more days and it might look a little messier, " he chuckled softly, folding his hands in his lap while he tried to figure out what he was supposed to be doing in this moment. toby elected to stand back up on his feet, wandering to his dresser and ruffling through it to grab her something to wear. " well, first we can focus on getting you out of that corset, you need to be able to breathe. hey, if you want my help... " toby spoke playfully while placing three of his hoodies and two of his shirts on his desk — just in case she wanted options. he tapped the top of the pile then turned in her direction, eyes flickering between her and the frame in her hands. " yeah, that's them. d'you like the bowl cut they gave me? " he asked with a grin, then he turned back to his dresser and began unbuttoning his shirt to change. " it's the eyes, my dad used to say it. " after getting into a hoodie and quickly pulling on a comfier pair of pants, he walked back over to his bed and sat down — watching her with the softest smile. " that's the only picture i got. there were so many more on the walls, in these books my mom used to make ... and i've got no idea what happened to them. i mean realistically, they were probably all thrown away but ... still sucks. " he said with a shrug, features still soft as he watched her.

[aireborne]

the ghost of his kisses on her skin were enough to drown out the last traces of cold, making her blush, making her smile like she couldn’t tuck the feeling away even if she tried. so this is what it feels like, she thought, to want someone this deeply and not be afraid of it. to be wanted back. every fling she’d had before felt distant compared to this, hollow in retrospect ⎯⎯ because nothing had ever settled inside her bones the way he did. nothing had ever felt this right. when he asked her to come over, her brows lifted playfully. “ you do know i’m not allowed in the men’s dorms, right ? ” alejandra teased, nudging him lightly, though her pulse jumped at the thought of being alone with him again. eyes momentarily drifted back to the gallery, the lights still shimmering, music drifting out soft and blurred. the school’s big shiny distraction. she wasn’t surprised it was still going. the board would be performing perfection for the sponsors — and the rest of the world — until sunrise if they had to. “ the party’s probably not gonna end for a few more hours, ” she looked back at toby, nodding as her shoulders lift in a small shrug. “ so … yeah. let’s go. i need to get out of these god - awful heels soon anyway. ” her arm slid around his, and she couldn’t stop thinking about how easy this felt. how she already wanted to stay close to him. maybe that should’ve scared her. maybe it would have before. but now ? now it just felt like the truth she’d been inching toward without realizing. “ but you have to help me sneak out later, ” she warned playfully. “ i’m already hiding a forbidden cat in my room, and i’m trying really hard not to give them any reason to be suspicious of me. ”

[orbitng]

toby swayed with the light nudge she gave him, his smile growing wide and pulling a laugh from his stomach. " ah, didn't realize you were such a stickler for the rules. scared you'll get caught? " he whispered playfully, teasing her right back just like they were used to. despite the little blip they experienced together, it so easily came right back to them when they discovered the problem. but at least for now, toby knew that they could figure anything out if something ever happened again, and they'd still find their way back to who they were together. at the mention of the party, his eyes drift back to the banquet hall again and he nods along — they'd both experienced the event a few times before, if there were any that would run all night, it'd be the one right after the student population all forcefully relived their trauma again. as she linked their arms together, toby leaned into her a bit and started to walk with her to the dorms. " you definitely won't get caught. i'm crazy stealthy, " he jests, giving her a very playfully confident nod of his head. however, at the mention of her pet cat, toby glanced her way and gasped quietly. " that's good blackmail material actually, thanks for that rhodes. you'll have to sneak me in to introduce me someday. i'm hurt you haven't yet actually, " he said with a smile, that teasing glint still in his eyes. as they reached the dormitories, toby slid his arm through hers to hold her hand instead, and quietly led her through valor hall until they finally reached his room without notice. toby's room has the clean but slightly under-lived-in feel of someone who cares about order but hasn't fully figured out how to make a space of his own. his desk is neat but busy, with textbooks and notebooks stacked in precise piles, and a charging station with far too many cables coiled neatly together. a few movie and album posters are thumb-tacked up, slightly crooked despite his best attempts. his empty gym bag is pushed against his laundry bag, neglected for a few days but kept there as a reminder to complete the chore. hidden just beside the bag was a box of nostalgia, as if he wanted to display each item eventually but he just never figured out a way to do so. the only openly sentimental thing is a framed photo on his nightstand of him with his parents, edges worn from years of being handled — years of quickly grabbing it before he was forced to move for the umpteenth time, afraid of losing it forever. he released her hand to plop down on the edge of his bed with a deep sigh, immediately pulling his neck free from his tie and tossing the accessory aside. " feel free to help yourself to my stuff ... if you want something comfier to wear. i can put a movie on ... or we can just hangout, or both. " toby blushed lightly, focused more on the absence of her touch than anything, resisting the urge he felt to close that distance again — addicted already.

[aireborne]

the kiss felt like slipping into something she’d been unknowingly reaching for all this time. familiar, inevitable, like the quiet click of a door finally unlocking. she melted into him without hesitation, one hand lifting to his chest. his heartbeat thrummed beneath her palm, wild and steady all at once, and she swore she felt her own sync with it. the cold autumn air didn’t touch her anymore ⎯⎯ it couldn’t, not when he was this close, not when the winds had started to mirror the warmth that was blooming through her. and when he finally leaned back, she almost chased after him, head tilting forward just an inch before she caught herself. she needed to breathe, needed a beat to let the moment sink in. let it sink in that they actually did it. they crossed the line. and instead of feeling ruined or terrified, she felt … relieved. as if the universe itself had been holding its breath for a while, waiting for them to figure it out, and now it finally got to exhale. she let out a soft laugh, gently wiping her thumb over the part of his lips that still had a bit of her smeared gloss. “ honestly ? me neither, ” she murmured, words threaded with a kind of giddy disbelief she couldn’t hide. then her hand found his like it was instinct. she watched for a moment, watched how naturally they fit. teeth caught her bottom lip, still flushed from their kiss, because the truth sat heavy and fragile in her chest. “ i know you’re not exactly … the serious relationship type, ” she said, careful but honest, thumb brushing against his knuckle. “ so i don’t know what this means for us. but i’ll take whatever you’re willing to give. ” it’s a risk of course, but one she’s now willing to take. whatever he chose, whatever came next. because deep down, beneath the rush and the trembling sweetness of it all, she knew they were stepping into something they’d been orbiting for perhaps a long time.

[orbitng]

the world had gone strangely quiet in the wake of their kiss, everything muffled except for her. all he could think about was the warmth lingering between them, the way she'd leaned in like she wasn't afraid of what she'd find. since the aptitude test, he'd convinced himself that that moment, their almost, was a mistake he should bury. it was safer to pretend nothing changed and to go on as the best friends that they were, to keep her in that place where she couldn't accidentally break him, and him break her. and yet here she was, fingers threaded through his, looking at him like she could see every part of him he thought he had shut away — and she wasn't running away. his throat tightened into something terrifyingly hopeful. " i don't wanna just give you pieces of me, " he said, voice low and almost rough with everything he wasn't used to saying out loud. " whatever this is and... whatever it turns into... " he pauses to swallow, his nerves getting the best of him when he chose to be honest with her — she deserved it. " i just want you, " he added, the cold finally managed to nip at him again, nudging reality back in. toby shifted and squeezed her hand just a little. he was already addicted to her, and that was clear in the way he leaned back toward her just to press a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth, then to her cheek, but the distant sound of the door separating the courtyard from the ball creaked open, and voices echoed loud enough to capture toby's attention momentarily. " hey look — i was thinking, if you wanted i mean, you could come over? " his gaze softened, steady in a way he rarely allowed. " i just wanna be with you a little longer— if that's okay? "

[aireborne]

her breath hitched the second he touched her, a soft shock of warmth that cracked straight through every defense. she froze, not in fear but in that quiet, trembling kind of awe that only ever came from him. and ⎯⎯ oh. there it was. that sinking, rising, spiraling realization that this wasn’t just confusion or separation anxiety or whatever excuse she’d been feeding herself. this was real. this was her heart tripping over itself for her best friend, the one person she shouldn’t want like this. yet she did, helplessly, stupidly, overwhelmingly. and the funny thing is … perhaps he’s felt the same way too, all this time. golden irises continue to flicker up to his eyes, then down to his lips, then back again, caught in a loop she couldn’t end. “ you don’t have to be careful. i never asked you to, ” alejandra murmured, barely more than a breath, like anything louder would shatter this fragile impossible moment. delicate hands slipped to his waist, fingers curling into the fabric of his button - down, holding on like she needed the anchor. and maybe she did. maybe he was the only thing keeping her upright. she swallowed hard, forcing her thoughts into words even as her pulse thundered in her ears. “ remember the day we met ? you told me you don’t kiss your friends, ” and she took it seriously ⎯⎯ carried it like a promise. because that’s the kind of rule one doesn’t break. not if she wanted to keep him. not if the idea of losing him scared her more than anything else. so for years, she never let herself think he could see her that way. never let her mind wander into anything that looked like hope. until the aptitude test. until now. “ is that … still true ? ”

[orbitng]

it all became extra real the second her hands were on his waist and their conversation shifted to an intimacy they never needed before. his heart hammered so hard against his chest, he was certain she'd be able to feel it. even at the reminder that his decisions about her were his own, that he didn't need to be careful with her, he still felt like he did because of how important she was to him. despite that though, she still opened up that door for him to step beyond that cautious threshold of thinking because now they were tangled together, and she grew more and more clear about what she wanted. toby watched her eyes dance between his eyes and his lips, while she brought up something he had said so long ago. it was still true, he didn't kiss his friends — save for a friendly kiss on the cheek here and there. but when he said that, he didn't realize how important alejandra would become to him. she didn't know that he thought about her a lot, that his chest ached for her when they weren't together. " it's still very much true, ale, " toby responded after a few beats, and he tilted her chin up toward him so now their lips were a hair away from breaking his promise. " you're just so much more than that now," he added in a breath, then he finally did it. he finally caved in and kissed her for the first time, and it felt like a million nerves fired off all at once. where words were lost, the amount of feeling he poured into their kiss was meant to make up for it. as soon as he leaned his head back from hers and could only taste her on his lips now, he felt compelled to do it all over again ... and again ... and again. instead, he used it to catch his breath. for the first time in a long time, his head was quiet and toby felt completely in control, as if she had the ability to ground him so easily. " i-i don't know what to do— to say now, " he spoke just loud enough for her to hear, but just as the words left his mouth, the smallest hint of a smile appeared in the corner of his lip as it twitched upward.

[aireborne]

frankly, alejandra never expected him to push. she thought he’d let the moment dissolve the same way he always did. and maybe she would’ve convinced herself that was what she wanted, too. safer, easier, less humiliating than standing here, peeling off each and every layer of her feelings. but he didn’t let it go. and the way he stepped closer made something inside her twist, sharp and aching. she told herself to move, to protect what little she had left of her composure. but instead, she stayed rooted to the ground, staring at him like she couldn’t quite believe he’s seemingly trying to reach for her. “ i’m not pretending, ” she scoffed, even though the words felt flimsy the second they left her mouth. because that’s exactly what she’d been doing. pretending she didn’t care this much. pretending none of this got under her skin. pretending she wasn’t terrified of wanting something she didn’t know how to keep. her breath left her chest in one long, defeated exhale. then she stepped forward ⎯⎯ just one small step, but enough to already feel a bit of his warmth. “ and to be honest, i don’t know what exactly we’re even supposed to talk about, ” she finally admitted, voice unsteady in a way she almost never allowed herself. “ everything’s been … confusing since the aptitude test. i don’t know what this is. i don’t know what’s going on between us. ” the coat he gave her slid off one shoulder, and she tugged it tighter around herself, licking her bottom lip as her gaze traveled from his eyes down to his mouth. it feels too much, but she can’t seem to look away. “ do you ? ”

[orbitng]

with how fast and hard his heart was beating against his chest, toby thought he could have passed out at any moment. they were standing close enough that the smallest step backward felt like an escape he shouldn't take, and the smallest step forward felt like a fall he wasn't sure he could survive. god, it would be so easy to leave her standing there — she wouldn't be the first, so why couldn't he do it now? what was different about her? he actually cared about her. he liked her. deeply — more than he was used to. so even when his words were meant to push her away, his heart ached when that was successful. the conversation was confusing but the more they spoke, the more sure toby became. she takes one step closer, he could feel her warm breath on his cold skin and it erupted in bumps. he felt like he was riding a rollercoaster with how his stomach twisted and flipped. " oh, " his voice cracked, fighting the urge to look at her, his head tilted down and locked on the ground between them. she felt it too. she noticed the almost, the way they gravitated toward each other so naturally, the ache he felt when they were apart. the anger he felt at the universe when he saw the hurt in her eyes for the first time, and the consuming feeling that latched him to her side as if his only purpose in life was to support her and protect her. then the aptitude test happened and he was too afraid of what that could mean, at the idea of their relationship ending because they let themselves cross that line. still, that last piece of wall crumbled away and he met her gaze, watched her eyes flicker from his own to his lips, cheeks immediately starting to redden. his hand found hers and tangled in it, letting out a slow exhale while attempting to find something to give her. a response of any sort at that point. " i know, it's just— i'm scared of it, " he admitted, the confession so quiet it trembled between them, " not of you though, but what you make me feel. it's ... it's a lot. " toby leaned in an inch, not enough to cross a line but enough that the line blurred, smudged, begged to be erased. his other hand rose so that his fingertips could graze the edge of her jaw — not quite claiming it, but enough that he felt the warmth of her skin against a place on his hand that had forgotten softness existed. he sucked in a breath, shaky and unsteady. " i'm trying so hard to be careful with you... " he trailed off for a brief moment, his thumb traced her lower lip, slow and deliberately soft, and his breath caught at the feeling. " i'm trying... " he gulped, the panic finally setting in but he didn't move away just yet.

[aireborne]

breath caught the second he stepped directly in front of her, instinct tugging her backward, a tiny stumble she hoped he didn’t notice. because the last thing she needed was him seeing just how much she unraveled whenever he looked at her like that. confused. worried. soft in ways she had no right wanting from him. her first thought wasn’t to clarify, or admit what's clawing at the back of her tongue ⎯⎯ it was to smooth the edges, to make sure he didn’t feel bad. even now, even with her heart bruised and aching, that was her reflex. “ oh, i just meant— ” she started, voice catching around the excuse she rushed to build. she turned her head slightly, the distant glow of the ball flickering behind her. then turned back to him. “ i dragged you away from the party, ” cue another small, tight smile. “ and i put you on the spot. i said … things. ” the last word came out fragile, almost whispered. she couldn’t look at him for more than a few seconds at a time. each glance at his face, at his eyes searching hers, felt like standing too close to a flame. part of her wanted to reach out, to slip into the familiarity she kept losing her grip on. but she knows better. she should know better. so she did what she always did. she held herself together. barely. a clearing of her throat, eyes dropping to her feet before lifting back up. “ we don’t have to talk about it, ” she reminded gently, offering him an exit even though the words scraped at her insides on the way out. “ it’s fine, toby. really. ” a lie dressed like reassurance. a quiet little resignation. this was the part where she let the idea of him, of them ⎯⎯ go. gracefully, quietly, the way ghosts always do, before she made things worse. before he saw the truth she kept stitching shut behind her ribs.

[orbitng]

his name on her tongue like that — gentle and defeated — hit harder than anything else he experienced that night. his breath stilled and something in his chest pulled taut because it felt like he noticed damn near everything about her. " hey— " the word comes out rougher than he intended, the deflecting something he would do, something he just did moments before reaching this here moment. " no, no don't do that. " toby stepped closer but slower this time, cautious like one wrong move and he'd force her into retreat again. his hand hovered near her arm close enough that she could feel his warmth but not close enough to touch unless she let him. toby had completely forgotten about the ball now, oblivious to the faint sounds and flashing lights in the distance, how could he when she was so close? " you didn't drag me anywhere, i followed you. i always f— " he cut himself off and clenched his jaw, a faint exhale coming through his nose. no, it would've been too honest, too real, but the way she appeared like she was slipping away from him let that impulsive side of him loose. " you don't have to pretend with me, ale. a-and um, " he swallows hard, nerves overtaking him once more, gaze diverting to his feet as a distraction, slowly rolling a pebble beneath his shoe. " saying things isn't making it worse, " a pause, raw and unbearably sincere, " it's actually the only thing that really made me glad i showed up. " his fingers twitched at his side, fighting the urge to reach for her. we don't have to talk about it, she said as an echo of him earlier. oh, he thought. " wait, did you ... want to talk about it? "

[aireborne]

we don’t have to talk about it. the words replayed in her head like a cruel little echo, each repetition scraping at the part of her chest she’d spent her whole lifetime trying to armor. she knew he didn’t mean it unkindly, but it still landed like a soft, quiet dismissal. a reminder that she always felt infinitely more than she ever should. toby’s coat settles around her shoulders, warm in a way he suddenly isn’t, and she goes rigid beneath it. like the slightest movement might shatter her into pieces she won’t be able to gather back up. she keeps her eyes down, biting the inside of her cheek so hard she eventually tastes the metallic tang of blood. “ yeah, sure. ” she manages to respond to his … question ? offer ? voice thin and painfully polite. the kind of tone people use when they’re trying not to bleed all over the floor. alejandra lifts her face just enough to give him a smile she doesn’t feel, the edges wobbly and fragile. a smile meant to make him comfortable, because that’s how she’s always been programmed: swallow the hurt, soften the blow, make everything easier for everyone but herself. they start to walk side by side and she tries to match his pace. her steps are steadier now, disciplined. she grips at the lapels of his coat, tugging it closer, letting herself drown in the familiar scent of him. she despises how instinctive that comfort is. how desperately she clings to it like it’s the last version of him she’s still allowed to have. finally, she exhales. “ sorry for … y’know. all of that. ” a vague gesture toward the courtyard, her sort - of meltdown, everything. she tries to laugh but it splinters halfway, something brittle and sad. “ i didn’t mean to ruin your night. i’m just exhausted. ” she swallows hard, eyes fixed straight ahead, determined not to let a tear fall. she’s done enough damage for one evening. she’ll be the calm one now. the good one. the easy one. bred not to lose control, bred to have a heart strong enough to carry the weight of the world, even if right now, that weight is only just one boy she needs to learn how to let go of.

[orbitng]

relief floods over him when she doesn't challenge his comment, he could cave so easily when it came to people he really loved. sometimes that was his worst trait because others took advantage of it, hence why he had those walls up already. it was so easy for him to go cold and set those boundaries with people, but god he was learning really fast that she was different. even when he went cold and pushed her away, every piece of her put a crack in those walls, falling apart piece by piece until his heart could reach her again. she spoke for the first time since he responded, and her voice alone drew him back in. his body stepped in closer to hers, their arms brushing as they walked — the contact shot up his arm like it was set ablaze. toby had been certain they were on the same page ... until she apologized for what was said. i didn't mean to ruin your night. his head snaps in her direction to study the side of her face, confused by that entire statement and searching for the answers in the eyes that avoided his gaze. " what? ruin my night? " toby asks with a shake of his head, then slows to a complete stop. " i never said you did that. wh-what makes you think you ruined my night? what'd i do to make you think that? " genuine confusion and oblivion wash over his features, his tone and demeanor are gentle yet riddled with unplaced guilt. toby replays the previous few minutes of their conversation and attempts to pinpoint what had occurred. his eyes flicker to hers and immediately there's another crack in the wall, so toby steps in front of her, shrinking the world again so just the two of them existed. " alejandra, what's going on? "

[aireborne]

ale moved fast ⎯⎯ or at least, as fast as someone in four - inch heels and an impossibly long gown can. every step is rough, clipped, fueled by a panic she can’t swallow down. she doesn’t look back, not even once, but she hears him. the soft thud of his shoes catching up to her easily, the way he matches her pace without effort. they weave through the crowd, her breaths turning shaky as frustration ghosts along her skin. “ i don’t know, ” she snaps, mainly to herself, though the edge is more agitation than anger, “ i don’t know why i said that. ” the back door leading to the courtyard gives way with a soft creak, and cold air rushes over her like a tide. she inhales, long and trembling, eyes pressed shut as though she could steady the storm inside her chest. but it’s useless. he’s there. she can feel him. the awareness of him has always been something sharp, something impossible to ignore. when she finally turns, her face is a mess of everything she’s tried to bury. frustration, confusion, hurt, longing. it’s all there, written plainly across her features. “ this is so stupid, ” she mumbled stressfully. “ we’ve been friends for years, and now i can’t even have one proper conversation with you without it turning into some weird thing. what is wrong with me ? ” shaky hands found her waist as she turns sideways, pacing half a step, like everything’s just too much for her body to contain. mere seconds later, her lips quiver. her throat tightens. the tears gather fast, hot and traitorous, and she blinks hard, trying to force them back. she can’t look at him. not like this. but her voice, when it comes again, is small. thin. a quiet unraveling. “ i guess … i’ve forgotten how to be your friend, ” fingers curling tightly in the fabric of her dress. “ but i hate the distance. i hate not having you in my life. ” the words spill out helplessly, as if they’d been building up for a while and finally clawed their way out. she stands there, trembling in the cold, chest rising and falling too quickly, waiting for whatever comes next. bracing herself for him the way she always has ⎯⎯ even when she’s sure her heart can’t take another hit.

[orbitng]

toby kept up behind her, mumbling quick apologies to those he pushed past as a courtesy more than anything. this was why he was distant since the aptitude test, because the second they're together, it's too difficult to step away when she's so close. he'd grown addicted to the way she made him feel, and his mind yelled at him to let her go, it was easier this way anyway. yet, he was at the mercy of his heart as his steps come to a halt just outside the doors, watching her pace from a safe distance. oh, there it was. an admission that said so little but meant so much between the two of them. toby's breath caught in his throat and for the umpteenth time that night, he thought about turning around to leave and forgetting this ever happened. he was going to do it ... but instead his feet carried him forward a few more steps, analyzing her every detail. the way her body stiffened, the fierce blink of her eyes and quiver of her lip, hands tightening in her dress, her chest moving with the rapid breaths — he could never leave her now. the cold wind builds up through the tunnels between the buildings and assaults any exposed skin they both had, urging toby forward ; urging him to actually say something. he goes as far as opening his mouth to finally respond but nothing comes out just yet, frozen in place and at a complete loss for words. even in his past relationships nothing was ever like this. it was like his confidence had been stripped from his body, torn away with the harsh winds. " aly, " he spoke quietly, cautiously — as if the name alone could will him to not let the moment pass or consume him like it had before. " me too, " he added quickly and swallowed hard, then he closed the rest of the distance between them and slid off his suit jacket to drape over her shoulders, hands lightly twisted in the lapels. " we don't have to talk about it. why don't we just ... " toby trailed off thoughtfully, searching for an alternative to the intense emotions rushing through him. emotions like that always controlled him, so he avoided them as often as he could. his hands immediately drop to his sides and he clears his throat, but his eyes flicker between her own pair and her mouth — curious. no, no don't be stupid toby. " i think i'm going to head home, i'm not big on these kind of events anyway so, " he stated abruptly but with an awkward chuckle to follow, lingering still as if he had more he wanted to say but couldn't quite get it out. " um, did you...? " want to come? just say those few words, toby. again he opened his mouth to finish the sentence but they're caught in his throat, clawed back down by the doubt in his chest, " ... we could. "