[oriosnmilk]

since i don't have uni for a week, i will be going on a more aggressive wl

ill come back with the results 🤸🏼‍♀️

──── ୨୧ ──────── ୨୧ ──────── ୨୧ ────

sw: 77kg/170lbs

gw: 73kg/161lbs

────────────────────────────────

[oriosnmilk]

your clothes feel tighter. im sure it bothers you a lot. i can hear you complain. i can hear you call yourself disgusting. i see your face filled with disgust. i wonder if your face is smeared with the same disgust when you hear my name and see my gait.

i don't say anything. what do I even utter. after all i'm just an ogre next to your dainty frame.

[oriosnmilk]

my friend took my photo yesterday. i stared at it for a long time like i usually do. the hair i put time and thought into but end up hating. those tired, asymmetrical eyes. my crooked smile and the weird thing my cheeks do when i smile wide. my body which never brought me a pleasant thought. i saw all of them in that photo. all of them. however this time, i couldn't see me.

the flesh that had draped around my limbs were slowly disappearing. i'm smaller than i used to be. i should be happy. isn't this what i wanted. why do i not smile at this sight. i only feel annoyed.

this isn't enough. nothing is enough. no matter what i change, no matter how much i change, i still look at myself with hatred. do i not deserve my love. am i not just a lonely child.

but i do not seem to care. i do not know how to love myself. so i go back to ⭐ving. i am home now. i am where i've always been.

in front of a weighing machine that never brought me joy

[saudadebunny]

[oriosnmilk]

what happens when i reach my goal weight..?

.

.

.

do i just stop fasting on a random day? will i suddenly love the feeling of a full belly? will i finally look at myself with love?

since i was 9, thoughts about food and losing weight have consumed me.

does it all stop when i step on that scale and see that number?

who am i without my obsession with losing weight?

[awkwardbrunettegirl]

Real

[bandagedthoughtsblog]

[m0rtesagrada-backup]