This one’s … kinda angsty. Sorry not sorry?
Rain traced long, meandering paths down the windows of the tall buildings, the grey skies overlooking Beijing pouring what felt like oceans down onto the crowded city. People scurried from building to building, trying their best to find cover from the downpour as they rushed through their daily lives. They came and went as fast as the flashes of lightning that streaked across the cloud-filled sky, one after another in an endless parade of rain-soaked humanity. The endless drone of the city, overlaid as it was with the white noise of the rain, felt almost muffled under the press of the heavy clouds where usually it would be loud and bright, alive with the noise of millions of people.
Yixing had been in the studio all day and had hardly even seen the weather, save for the few times he happened to glance out the window. Every time he stepped foot into his studio, it was like he locked himself into his own world, one filled with melody and harmony and rhythm. There wasn’t a single place in the entire world that felt more comforting to him.
He smiled happily as he finished working on his latest project. It was an upbeat and catchy melody with some interesting syncopations in the verse, all set against a driving drumbeat inspired by Chanyeol’s personal style. He hadn’t seen his bandmate and friend in a long time, and Yixing was definitely feeling the sting of being separated from the guys he considered brothers. He missed them. Giving a nod to Chanyeol’s style in the drum track was just one way of dealing with those feelings, especially when they got so strong it felt like they would claw him apart from the inside out.
He sat back in his chair and stretched, wincing a little when his back popped and his chronic injury twinged sharply from sitting one way for too long. Sometimes, he still wondered if what he’d done as a trainee had been worth it, but those fleeting moments usually passed very quickly, fading away just as fast as they’d come.
He glanced at the clock and his eyes went wide at the time; he’d been in the studio for longer than he’d originally planned. Suddenly, his phone screen lit up with an incoming call. He grinned at the bright, smiling face that he saw on the screen, the familiar sight one that he missed more than most. He quickly picked up the phone.
“Hey, Baekhyun,” he said, his excitement at hearing his friend’s voice spilling over into his own.
“Yixing!” Baekhyun’s cheerful enthusiasm was a welcome sound in Yixing’s ear, and it only made his smile widen that much more. He heard a little shuffling and Baekhyun sounded like he was calling out to other people, the phone held away from his face a little to not scream into Yixing’s ear. “Hey, guys! Yixing answered!” His voice came back again after a little more shuffling. “How are you? Are you still spending a lot of time in the studio? Are you sleeping enough? Are you eating well?”
Yixing laughed, the rapid-fire questions and chipper sound of the Korean boy’s voice lifting some of the loneliness he’d been feeling only minutes before. “Whoa, whoa – slow down some! I can’t keep track when you ask so much at one time!”
Baekhyun laughed. “Sorry, I’ve just missed you and want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself!” Yixing could hear a grin in his voice.
“We’ve all missed him, Baek!” Yixing laughed again when he overheard Chanyeol practically yell from somewhere in the background. “Hi, Yixing! Baekhyun won’t give me the phone so I’m having to yell!”
Yixing could practically see the gangly giant of boy trying to take the phone from Baekhyun, and just imaging the antics those two were probably getting into was enough to make him burst into laughter. “Tell him I said hi back, okay?” Yixing said, slouching down into his chair comfortably. He could hear Baekhyun relaying his message, and he couldn’t help his fond smile at the comforting sound of his brothers’ voices all mixing together over the speaker of his phone. Somewhere else in the background, Yixing could just make out someone else telling Chanyeol to chill out (Probably Minseok or Kyungsoo, Yixing thought). There was a sudden sound of a door closing in the background and a very muffled whine from Chanyeol, and Yixing had to laugh. Baekhyun must have locked himself in his room again to talk.
“So! Tell me everything you’ve been up to, Xing! How’s the studio? Are you taking enough breaks?” Baekhyun asked. “Chanyeol will pick the lock sooner or later, so let’s chat while I’ve got the time.” He snickered lightly.
Yixing laughed. “The studio is doing really well. I’ve been working on a lot of new stuff, and I hope you’ll all be really excited to get to hear it. At least one thing especially is just for EXO – I couldn’t imagine it any other way,” he smiled happily, remembering the song and how perfectly his bandmates’ voices will sound on it. “And I promise I’m doing my best to take care of myself, too.”
“That’s great!” Baekhyun said, his excitement practically bubbling over, even able to be heard through the phone. Yixing laughed again; Baekhyun was always so easily excited and was always one of the most supportive members no matter what. “I can’t wait to hear it, and I’m so glad you’re taking care of yourself!” There was a short pause, and when Baekhyun spoke next, his voice was hesitant, or at least as hesitant as Yixing had ever really heard him be. “Do you know when you might be able to come back, though? We all really do miss you.”
Yixing’s smile faded a little at that, his own loneliness coming back to edge into the happiness he felt at talking to Baekhyun. “I don’t know, Baek. You know how crazy things are, and it’s not looking any less crazy.”
Baekhyun sighed, the sound sad. “I know, but I was still hoping. I still hope it’ll be soon. I miss us all being together.”
“Me too,” Yixing said. He slouched a little lower into his chair, tugging his oversized jacket around him a little more, almost like a child with their blanket. His voice was a little hesitant. “Can I tell you something, Baekhyun?”
“Of course – you know you can always tell me anything.”
“Sometimes, I don’t even know if it’s worth it,” Yixing said. “I miss you guys so much, and then there are days when my waist injury hurts so much I want to cry, and then I see comments online about how EXO is now only eight no matter how hard I work and try to support you even when I can’t be there. It can just be … really, really discouraging.” When Yixing finished, his voice was soft, a hint of dejection in it that usually wasn’t there. Not even a full beat of silence was able to be heard before Baekhyun was offering what he could, though he was hundreds of miles away.
“Yixing, please listen to me. I know it’s hard sometimes, but we all really love you and miss you. We support you. We believe in you. Your fans believe in you, and EXO-L believe in you, too. Anyone who says those nasty things don’t know or understand. I promise, we will always be standing by you, no matter what,” Baekhyun said. The sincerity in his voice struck a chord in Yixing and, even though he could see him, he could tell he really meant every word. It was enough.
Yixing swallowed thickly, suddenly so much more grateful to have such close friends as the boys in his band, the ones he called his brothers. “Baekhyun…. Thank you,” he said, trying not to choke up too much. “I think … I think I just needed to hear that.” He smiled again, small though it was. “You’re one of my best friends, you know?”
“And you’re one of mine, Xing,” Baekyun said without any hesitation. “Don’t ever forget what I said, okay?” Yixing could hear a little smile in Baekhyun’s voice, and it nearly made him laugh again. Is there ever a time when Baek isn’t smiling? he thought.
Yixing stayed on the phone for almost an hour, laughing and talking with each member at the dorm in turn. Baekhyun hadn’t wanted to give the phone up at first, but when Chanyeol had picked the lock on the door, he’d begrudgingly given in. Few things felt as comforting as hearing the sounds of his brothers back in Korea, and getting to spend so much time speaking with them always gave Yixing the boost he needed to make it through until he could stand with them again.
