Style

[otoolessss]

Announcement

If you've noticed I have been more quiet than usual these last few weeks, it's because I've been completely exhausted and coffeeless. Happy last week of classes! Have a wonderful Summer everyone!

[otoolessss]

[otoolessss]

Versatility

Picking an imitation piece this week provided the perfect opportunity to focus on versatility by picking a reading with a style different from what I would normally pick as I would typically go for an easy and smooth style, however this week we will concentrate on experimenting with the sentence structure, word choice, and rhythm of the piece, so by picking a more difficult and harsh reading I can optimize my versatility and grow exponentially with this assignment. 

The paragraph I have chosen is from a Gillian Flynn novel. You may be familiar with her work as she wrote “Gone Girl” and “The Girl on the Train.” My imitation will come from her story “Sharp Objects.” If you are not familiar with the novel, I really recommend it. After reading, you can also check out the mini-series on HBO. 

I have several favorite quotes in this novel, however, most of them are about 250-300 words, and I really need about 500 for this assignment, so I searched for something that was harsh, raw, and direct that fit the word count requirement. 

““It was that summer, too, that I began the cutting, and was almost as devoted to it as to my newfound loveliness. I adored tending to myself, wiping a shallow red pool of my blood away with a damp washcloth to magically reveal, just above my naval: queasy. Applying alcohol with dabs of a cotton ball, wispy shreds sticking to the bloody lines of: perky. I had a dirty streak my senior year, which I later rectified. A few quick cuts and cunt becomes can't, cock turns into back, clit transforms to a very unlikely cat, the l and i turned into a teetering capital A. The last words I ever carved into myself, sixteen years after I started: vanish. Sometimes I can hear the words squabbling at each other across my body. Up on my shoulder, panty calling down to cherry on the inside of my right ankle. On the underside of a big toe, sew uttering muffled threats to baby, just under my left breast. I can quiet them down by thinking of vanish, always hushed and regal, lording over the other words from the safety of the nape of my neck. Also: At the center of my back, which was too difficult to reach, is a circle of perfect skin the size of a fist. Over the years I've made my own private jokes. You can really read me. Do you want me to spell it out for you? I've certainly given myself a life sentence. Funny, right? I can't stand to look myself without being completely covered. Someday I may visit a surgeon, see what can be done to smooth me, but now I couldn't bear the reaction. Instead I drink so I don't think too much about what I've done to my body and so I don't do any more. Yet most of the time that I'm awake, I want to cut. Not small words either. Equivocate. Inarticulate. Duplicitous. At my hospital back in Illinois they would not approve of this craving. For those who need a name, there's a gift basket of medical terms. All I know is that the cutting made me feel safe. It was proof. Thoughts and words, captured where I could see them and track them. The truth, stinging, on my skin, in a freakish shorthand. Tell me you're going to the doctor, and I'll want to cut worrisome on my arm. Say you've fallen in love and I buzz the outlines of tragic over my breast. I hadn't necessarily wanted to be cured. But I was out of places to write, slicing myself between my toes - bad, cry - like a junkie looking for one last vein. Vanish did it for me. I'd saved the neck, such a nice prime spot, for one final good cutting. Then I turned myself in.”

- Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects

[otoolessss]

Surprise!

Do you ever find out some big news and then all of a sudden recognize ALL of the flags that you should have seen and think "I should have known!"

Yesterday, my boss brought me into her office to discuss yearly merit increases. While she handed over the envelope, she praised my performance and started giving me additional future advice. This was something she did regularly with me, as she was well aware of my interest in advancement. She discussed my short term goals, long term goals, and how my dedication should get me there. She praised my positivity and ability to find the good in everything. She also told me she would be on PTO the following week, and that she wouldn't see me for awhile so she took some extra time to tell me about future work distribution.

Today, my VP informed me that the manager has decided to resign immediately. She's been with the company for 15 years, and I will probably never see her again.

When the news broke, I was shocked at first, however I slowly started recognizing all the signs that showed me her plans, and I really should have recognized it.

This event sort of made me realize how being aware of an individuals choice of words and actions in certain times can really mean something. My boss chose words that informed me long-term, and spent extra time appreciating me. However, I wasn't able to return the favor because I couldn't recognize that her rhetoric was telling a story, not the one of me receiving a raise, but one of a boss saying "goodbye."

[otoolessss]

Job Interview

I currently work for Fortunes #1 best workplace in health care and Fortunes #9 best companies to work for. I love this company, but I've been struggling with advancement opportunities despite my growing knowledge and experience. Today, I interviewed for a great position within my company.

Pros: Small pay increase, offers extensive learning opportunities, team appears excited and intelligent

Cons: SMALL pay increase, not in the field of my future desired career, working Saturdays

I have been having a tough conversation with myself because I feel it will be a really difficult decision to make if I am offered the position. I'm also feeling so unsure about my future and the career path I want to take, so I am just hoping to have a clear head and have the right decision when the time comes.

I interview for another position a few months ago, however I performed absolutely terrible in the interview. The pay was great, hours great, etc. except the interview was with the vice president of operations, of two other very "high up" managers, so my nerves were OFF THE CHARTS. I learned from the experience in order to revise and edit my interview skills. I did further research on behavioral based interview questions, I researched the position and desired skills, I even researched how to calm yourself before and interview to maximize confidence. These editing tools helped change me from a mediocre interviewer over a month ago, to a pretty fair interviewer today. Revising my interview style and answer style to the questions really helped improve my skills.

Wish me luck!

[otoolessss]

Revision

I've been working on tbe radical revision for a week now and it has been chaos in a way. I began working on it, but then I recognized so many errors and places for improvement that I almost just wanted to scratch the entire thing and start over. I don't have time for that, nor do I think it would be productive editing, so I simply went through the current paper and hilighted the sections that could use improvement. At first, almost the entire document was hilighted. I started working with the smaller things. Issues where phrases just needed to be reordered or changed, and then I have now moved on the sections that are in major need of better quality sources.

Unfortunately, finding sources is extremely timely and of course I have other courses that have major assignments due in the upcoming weeks, so I'm simply doing my very best to get quality sources and quotes into the paper, and then will work to organize and give my personal stance when I have a chance which may or may not occur before the first draft.

The paper is still very cluttered, but I feel more organized and have a more detailed and direct plan that feels more manageable. The changes being made may not be extremely drastic, but I do feel like the quality of the paper will dramatically increase with the introduction of these new sources and ideas.

[otoolessss]

These two info graphics will be helpful when continuing to search for quality sources from the views of different disciplines.

[otoolessss]

These info graphics will be helpful when continuing to search for quality sources from different disciplines.

[otoolessss]

Radical Revision Update

I have started researching additional discipline views on figurative language for my radical revision. So far, the two with the most volume of resources has been psychology and philosophy. I have been reading different stances on their benefits which has really help me to broaden my knowledge. However, I'm still working on how I will incorporate these disciplines into the paper without making the topic more broad, so that will bey next concentration.

"People tend to understand nonliteral language – metaphor, hyperbole and exaggerated statements – when they realize the purpose of the communication, according to new Stanford research."

https://news.stanford.edu/news/2014/august/language-figurative-goodman-080614.html

[otoolessss]

Revision Plan

This week will be primarily focused on ways to work on the radical vision. I have been dreading this since I submitted the assignment because I really wasn’t sure where my paper could go. Now it is time to make some decisions and work towards improving the prior paper and growing on that. In order to do so I will: 1)  Consider adding perspectives from different disciplines including the advantages and benefits of using figurative language through the eyes of that discipline, or through the eyes of the leaders of the discipline. 

2)  Create more of a persuasive connection by incorporating stronger sources and quotes by re-visting current sources and exploring their sources. I feel that adding more research will really help strengthen my stance.

3) Clarify where growth can occur in the current portion of the readings. This can include taking out weak sentences, strengthening the sentences that don’t seem to get the full purpose across, and identifying what sections have the ability to really grow so that I am not only adding more information to the paper, but I am also elaborating on prior information. 

[otoolessss]

LR 03/20/19

This week I have been focusing on finishing up my learning record mid-term. Going back through the course goals and applying what I have learned to each individual objective helped to show the places I may to focus more on the second half of the semester. It was also great to get feedback on the Style essay. Mainly, reading others essays in the course. It gave me a better idea about expectations and direction. Sometimes, it can be difficult for me to put words on a page because I become too intimidated by the page and become unsure what the audience really wants from me. Receiving feedback really helped me to focus the path I would like the essay to take. The second part of this week will be spent revising and editing the Style essay, so I will continue to research opportunities for improvement and utilize the feedback and focus on growing my confidence with writing.

[otoolessss]

This week has been primarily focused on getting a start on the midterm learning record assignment. I’ve start simply by creating the layout for the learning record by forming two different sections, and adding headings for the first section with the course objectives. I also reviewed the documents that describe the essentials of how we learn, and have started to compare those with my records and how they can be applied to forming a better understanding of how I have learned the information. 

1) Find applicable evidence from postings, readings, learning records, class discussions, etc. that match the learning objective.

2) Discuss/apply dimensions of learning to better examine how the information influenced my learning.

3) Continue to do so until I have covered different styles, learning objectives, readings, and feel confident that I have a good representation of my learning.

4) Conclude on how well I perceived  and showcased the learning with a grade. 

For example: I noted in my first learning record submission that I was slightly familiar with the rhetoric of ethos from a previous class, so now the readings from Wallace helped to create new knowledge by using prior experiences to build upon. 

[letswritesomenovels]

“To Be” or Not “To Be”: What Exactly IS Passive Voice?

When giving writing advice, people will tell you to avoid “to be” verbs. This can be scary advice. We use “to be” verbs. A lot. 

So when is it okay to use “to be” verbs and when is it not? 

Usually when people say to avoid forms of “to be,” they are talking about examples like this: 

The dog was walked. 

Here, the dog is pretending to be the subject of your sentence. But what “was walked?” The dog. It’s actually the direct object. Your sentence has no subject. Who walked the dog? Is it a mystery? Why is it a mystery? Why are you keeping the dog walker from your reader? Obviously, Todd walked your dog. Make Todd the subject of your sentence. Give Todd the credit he deserves. Todd walked the damn dog. Active sentence.

Not only is Passive Voice confusing, but sentences structured that way wind up wordier than when they’re restructured. The goal of writing is to be concise. Make your sentences as short as they can be without sacrificing style and substance.

“To be” verbs also make for boring descriptions. For example: 

Todd’s teeth were white. His lips were red. 

Absolutely dull. [Insert “Okay…” side eye gif here.] This does nothing to make a character stand out in the mind of the reader. A better description: When Todd’s blood-soaked lips parted, they revealed gleaming white fangs. The use of “to be” verbs here is systemic of a larger problem: descriptions that take up more room on the page than their worth. The things we describe need to do more than just exist. (ie. being) Show them at work. Show what they’re doing in the story. What their purpose is. What they say about the character. 

However….

I’ve seen people develop phobias of the words “is” and “was” over fear of using the dreaded Passive Voice. I’ve known people to mark every single “to be” verb on the page in workshops.

But it’s okay to use “to be” verbs. I’ve already used well over a dozen in this blog post. 

When it’s cool to use “to be” verbs:

When there are no other, better verb hidden in your sentence. Hint: almost all other verbs are both more interesting and more precise than “is.” 

When you actually do mean for Todd’s identity to be a mystery. Who walked the dog? Was it the same person who murdered Louise? We’ll never know. (It was definitely Todd.)

When characters are being passive aggressive in dialogue: “What’s done is done. I’m not saying that Todd did it. I’m just saying: it has been done.”

When the direct object is the focus of your sentence, even if it’s not the “actor.” In 2018, the dog was walked for the first time ever. Here, it’s not about Todd. Nobody gives a hoot whether or not Todd walked the dog. This sentence is about the dog. If you put Todd in there, the meaning of the sentence becomes confused: In 2018, Todd walked the dog for the first time ever. So did Louise walk the dog in 2017 or was this actually the dog’s first walk? Who knows?

Progressive tenses. When you’re talking about a continuous action. ex. Todd is currently walking the dog. There’s no way to remove “to be” without changing the meaning of the sentence. 

There are more examples, but I’d hope by now you’re starting to get the larger picture. 

Basically: “to be” verbs are totally cool. Just make sure your sentences are clear, concise, and that you’re using the best verb for the action.

[otoolessss]

QCohesion is one of three presentations that will be given this upcoming week. In order to prepare best for the presentation, I have really been attempting to understand the material and how it coorelates with the prior chapters. In my opinion, cohesion is mainly about structuring a phrase in a way that gives the audience what they are seeking and best connects the authors intention with the readers understanding.

Here are two small readings to show examples of how an author can use cohesion to better their writing. It can be hard to recognize at first, so we may have to specifically look for it when revising and editing our papers until it becomes more natural and routine.

https://www.umass.edu/writingcenter/flow-and-cohesion

[otoolessss]

5 Canons

Short and sweet article by the University or Arkansas Sam M. Walton College of Business. I've analyzed where I failed to thrive when writing the last paper and used this article to note how I can better perform in the future. Invention was lacking in my first assignment as I didn't have a clear direction, nor did I have a specific audience. It was hard to pick a desirable topic without this crucial information, so this ultimately ended with a poor understanding of direction and prose. I liked how I arranged the information by explaining the topic and then introducing the arguement, however the transitions could have been better. Revision wasnt as smooth as I would have hoped but adding style and word selection was slightly easier once I really had more of a direction.

[hjbender]

…right.

[3eanuts]

February 6, 1993 — see The Complete Peanuts 1991-1994