What 24/7 D/s Looks Like to a Couple of Newbies in 2018
So, a while back I decided to get sober. (Wait for it… it comes back around.) I went to the meetings and joined the clubs and all that… and, it worked. No more drinking. The best piece of advice I got?…
“Stick with the old-timers. They got it figured out.”
A while before that I did a stint in prison. I was a kid. Just old enough to get drafted not old enough to get drunk. None of it seemed real. Did real time, though. Best advice I got?… “Stick with the old timers. They got it figured out.”
That piece of wisdom has served me well in my years as a contributing member of society. So, when MG @wolfpack-princesskitty and I first turned to Tumblr and a few other sites in search of any info or insights into our newly-confessed shared fantasies… one of my first thoughts was
“Stick with the fucking old timers.”
And, after several months of watching many blogs I had determined who those people were and I began to make connections. And I’m very thankful for the connections we have made, and for those who have agreed to mentor MG and me along the way. All providing a sobering and real life perspective on various aspects of a 24/7 D/s relationship; in our case, a marriage. So glad to be grounded here right now.
Because from where I stand 90% of the rest of the time this shit looks like Vegas, baby. Wooo!
Welcome to D/s relationships for millennials.
What it looks like: It looks like 50 Shades of Harry Potter and Sparkly goddamned Vampires is what it looks like… and it looks fucking awesome! Expensive suits and Bitches in black lingerie kneeling and crawling… the leashes and spankings and the gagging on cocks… timid, meek, all trusting subs and stoic, powerful, all knowing doms. Paradise for the slightly-to-moderately twisted peoples of a certain ilk… I mean, it can’t be that perfect in real life, but still… come on.
You can hate it all you like, but those books and movies are the extent of John Q. Public’s grasp on your chosen lifestyle, and at worst, it has turned out to be a great ‘evangelical tool’ as it were…
But someone has to sort out the abusers and the narcissists and the standard model douche bags from the good guys with good intentions. Somebody has to inject truth and reason and wisdom into the conversation. Someone has to show us where the ground ends and the clouds begin so we can self-moderate. Because…
It’s hard work, dedication, devotion, integrity, grit, determination, kindness in the hardest of times… honesty, communication… Just like any functioning relationship, really…
It looks like 50 Shades of Harry Potter and Sparkly goddamned Vampires is what it looks like… and it looks fucking awesome!
It’s boundaries and security and exploring sexual interests together… it’s a little bit of doubt (Ok, maybe a lot of doubt at times), a little bit of fear, enough love to carry two sometimes three, four, five souls forward into a new real life, where everything is a decision… a choice… even for those who make no choices. A life in which lust is a limitless hunger… an insatiable wolf… and your hunger is so focused you want to entirely destroy and devour this pretty little thing wearing your collar…
Sometimes it’s body issues, and insecurities about cock size, and irrational conversations into the early morning hours… often, the stronger of the two quietly trying to decide just how much truth the other person can actually handle… sometimes it’s greatly overestimating that amount of truth…
Sometimes it’s a spark of hope… and sometimes it’s a last resort…
Sometimes it’s ropes and cuffs and collars and bruises… and sometimes it’s blankets and snacks and kisses and cuddles…
It’s an empowerment achieved in a point of singularity where both the powerful and powerless are each perfectly balanced one with the other… mutually satisfied. A feeling like no other.
For some of us, it’s what we’ve come seeking… for some of us it’s just who we are…
For every idiot ‘Tubmlr Daddy’, there’s a good man with a great dom inside, watching you blast the new generation from the comfort of your well-earned status, and doubting himself… afraid that he’s not a real dominant. Too afraid his ask will get him ridiculed. I know because that was me before I finally manned up and reached out.
Please keep in mind that we’re not all a part of the tide of idiots and abusers… please continue to be an island for those of us who were simply swept up in their wake…
So, a shout out to those blogs and bloggers that have informed us, included us, inspired us…
@instructor144, @thetriskeliondiaries, @dinodaddy, @verse50, @theruleset, @submissive-seeking, @the-faculty, @i-could-be-the-walrus, @amysubmits, @itsshinycollectordestinyworld, @sincardinality, @quietlyconscious, @techiejedi, @tooprettytolive, @theropegeek, @crusoesampersand, @maddigans, @westcoastgentleman, @yessiraustralia-again
and a ton more I’m leaving out… For those of you who know who the hell we are, and those who don’t… For those who are personally investing their time into our success… for those who don’t even realize how real an impact you have…
I’m not sucking up (maybe a little)… I’m not posturing…
You guys deserve recognition for taking the time out of your lives to share those lives with the rest of us… You deserve recognition for being great writers, most of you anyway… lol… But mainly I want to lift you guys up as the standard… because we desperately need more real doms and subs to provide some perspective to the magical, leather-clad diamond-skinned vampires with secret rooms… how cliche’.
stormborns
yousharknotpass
ellievsbear
areudirty
prguitarman
2087
annaxmalina
kianamaiart
