from an out of ctrl Black girl @outofctrlblackgirl - Tumblr Blog

If my eyes are on you don’t worry about the eyes on me.

good days

✨

Been so lost without you all around me

a little work in progress

“I will give you anything you need,” she said, “because your heart is breaking and I want to fix you. Is this how I fix you, love?”

I used to use my body to fix things. to get what I thought I wanted. her desire to make him feel good at her expense struck me to my core.

“You would give me this?”

never again.

I would drive all night if this would fix things, even temporarily. all he has to do is ask.

I would give him this.

// it's you. it's always been you //

is what he said to me from across the cafe table, reaching out to grab my hands while never breaking eye contact.

the sun streaming in from behind him, evoking a God-like luster from him that made me want to pinch myself to make sure I was not dreaming.

but, I was dreaming. I already knew that. If the scene was not telling enough, then his words certainly sealed the deal.

it isn't me. he does not want me. so why did my subconscious spin this fairytale?

from an out of ctrl Black girl