Why do I even bother getting on social sites??.
DEAR READER
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
trying on a metaphor
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

titsay

@theartofmadeline
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cherry valley forever
hello vonnie
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Cosimo Galluzzi
we're not kids anymore.
h
RMH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@paci-princess3
Why do I even bother getting on social sites??.
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have Sex?’
'No,’ she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?’
… She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..’
So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”
And that’s when the fight started…
________________________________
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”
He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”
“Nah, she can order for herself.”
And that’s when the fight started…..
_____________________________
My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man
swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, “Do you know him?”
“Yes”, she sighed,
“He’s my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn’t been sober since.”
“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
And then the fight started…
________________________________
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again.
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
_____________________________
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, “What’s on TV?”
I said, “Dust.”
And then the fight started…
________________________________
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife’s back; now with a different anticipation, and whispered, “The weather out there is terrible.”
My loving wife of 5 years replied, “And, can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?”
And that’s how the fight started…
_______________________________
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, “I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.”
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And then the fight started……
______________________________
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’
And then the fight started…
________________________________
My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.’
I replied, "Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
And then the fight started……..
________________________________
I rear-ended a car this morning…the start of a REALLY bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!’
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?’
That’s how the fight started.
________________________________
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift…
The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”
And that’s how the fight started.
These are hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣
There’s a lady who is cheating on her husband. One day while they are having sex she hears her husband pull into the driveway. Her boyfriend says “oh no! What should we do?!” She says “hurry! Get dressed and go to the living room!” Once they’re in the living room she starts sprinkling baby powder all over him. He says “what are you doing?” She says “I’m making you white like a statue. Just stand in a pose, my husband will never know you’re real, because he’s stupid!” Her husband comes in and sees them and says to her “what’s that?” She says “Well, me and Mrs. Johnson next door went shopping today. She has one just like it. I liked hers so much that she took me to get one.” He shrugs it off and goes about his business. That night the boyfriend is still standing in the living room still posed, too afraid to escape. He hears the husband wake up and open the bedroom door. The husband walks past him, opens the fridge, pops open a beer and makes a bologna sandwich. He then walks up to the boyfriend and hands him the beer and sandwich and says “Here, I was next door at Mrs.Johnson’s house stuck in that position for 2 days and no one gave me anything to eat.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🥰🥰🥰🥰
"If you live your life to please everyone else, you forget what used to make you you."
--Rachel Hollis, Girl, Stop Apologizing
Never lose who you are, that's what makes you special
baby me, coddle me in your lap and stroke my hair gently, remind me whose little girl I am. make me feel all cute and smol, keep me safe.
💜💜💜I live for this!
Game lover 😊
💜💜💜💜
genuinely sorry for the people who tried to talk to me and were disappointed by how uncool i am
Ooh how I can relate! Muh bad!
#uncool kids #we the best
Every bottle of alcohol is a single serving if you’re committed enough.
“Losing you wasn’t just painful, it was fucking damaging also. It wasn’t me sitting down on a couch surrounded by my friends as we watched movies and ate food to try and forget you. It was me staying up at four in the morning because the thought of you was so fucking strong I couldn’t even close my eyes without seeing your face. It was me swallowing thickly and blinking back tears every time I was in public, the hole in my chest causing my breaths to come out shaky rather than normal. It was me laughing at things for no reason as my stomach turned because the urge of falling apart was getting stronger. It was me crying at random hours during the day and me not wanting to get up out of bed. It wasn’t just me staring blankly at your number, deciding whether or not if I should call you. It was me throwing my phone at the wall and breaking it, because I was drunk again and the thought of you ever changing your information terrified me. It was me deleting our conversations and regretting it because now I couldn’t know where we had went wrong. It fucking hurt, losing you had hurt and I wasn’t ever able to forget that kind of pain.”
— A.Y.
Getting attached, I'm gonna go.
I'll be alright, I'm better alone.
Cause your a fuckin waste of time!
i think about this a lot
The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack.
he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career
protect him
reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left
people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone.
This man deserves everything let him he happy
Ok… This is what happened to Fraser
-His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year,
-He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression
-He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords.
-He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression.
This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best
All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are.
Compare with this image from the GQ article last February:
Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc.
The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.
Plus, now he’s in Doom Patrol, which makes me happy af.
And let’s not forget he was probably slightly to severely dehydrated to look that buff in he first photo. And I’m so pleased he got work again he seems like a good sort, and from the stealth pilot in Titans, Doom Patrol looks like it should be good.
It shouldn’t even matter what he’s been through. Body shaming of ANYONE is wrong.
ALL OF THIS
Plus
2019 Brendan is still slaying, so btfu
This post keeps getting better and I’m here for it
I love this whole thread
The last time I saw this it was only at the first ‘cut him some slack’ part and it just progressively gets better each time.
We support this Brendan Fraser in this home
Fuck people...
That is all...
“I’m like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget.”
— Samuel Beckett
I generally never forget..
It probably never would come out of my mouth..
Me every morning