Paging Pages 2024

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MAN

Sometimes it hurts to see my past.

Thinking when would it ever last.

Prayers that have no end to cast.

The world moving around so fast.

Yearning for a full acceptance.

Lies that mask the truth as hindrance.

Pulling strength from any instance.

Lost and seeing for clear guidance.

A boy trapped in his own skin.

Eager to make means to his kin.

All efforts tossed in the old bin.

Blissfully marked by my old sin.

Look, I am really trying now.

Speaking for all the answers how.

Seeking along with my head bow.

Working for all like a damn cow.

Earth with its unlimited try

Family with its long hard sigh.

Children with unlimited why

Wife with her slow pending goodbye.

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Pills

November 2023

8 sets

6 used

2 left

43 days

Is there something I need to know?

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Cheat

Why?

Why did it ever occur to you that I cheated?

You see... It's not because my love for you has faded...

Not because you got old and gray...

Not because you let yourself go as we progressed through the relationship.

No...

It's far more than that...

You see... A man thrives in the mids of where he feels RESPECTED.

I was only respected as to what I bring to the table...

You see... A man brings loyalty as to where he is RESPECTED.

I was only respected when I go far and beyond my capabilities.

I was only respected when its convenient to you...

When your anger lasts for days and weeks and I had to wait for your voice to be heard before making a move...

When your sorry means I need to forgive you right away, but mine would be an insult to your current mood.

When I would only be allowed to hug you on your mood but can't be irritated when I am not in the mood to be hugged.

When your kiss is a means to say you did a good job, and for mine to say I love you.

When I beg for you to acknowledge my efforts and when you get pissed when i try to get some rest.

When you are looking for reasons to hate me and neglect the reasons to love me

When you always see me as a failure rather than just being a learning man.

When I was being criticized from my mistakes and insulted by my progression.

When you say "I told you..." On every downfalls rather than "that's fine..."

When you say "that's what I am telling you..." On every problem rather than "we can get through this..."

When you say "I made him do that..." To the people around you rather than "that's his efforts..."

When you say "Let's go now..." Rather than "are you done?"

When you say "ok...goodbye..." Rather than " have a great day ahead..."

And when you say "oh ok" to my every effort rather than "good job... Well done I am proud of you".

When I need to prioritize your emotions over mine, but would be a sin for you to do the same.

When you can't even give me my own value as a person you expect me to love you from all your flaws.

You see as difficult it is to please you...I still love you... But I am desperate and hungry for the affection I need...for the respect I deserve, for the encouragement I yearn for, for the love that has no limits.

It's just to bad that I was forced to find it elsewhere just to maintain myself to be with you...

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How?

So close, yet so far away.

Heard, yet unheard.

Visible, yet unable to be seen.

Wishing you could be held

Hoping you could be touched

Liking you to be close

Wanting your warm embrace

Needing your soft hands

Yearning for your scent

When can I...

When should I...

When could I...

How?

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Smile

See More Illuminating Life Energy.

Succeed Majestically In Long Endeavors.

Seek Meekness In Living Experience.

Spend Massive Income Leaning to Elevation.

Save Moments In Larked Events.

Solemnize My Intentional Love Endlessly.

SMILE with me, And I shall SMILE back with you...

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Remember to P.U.S.H!

Pray Until Something Happens

-Jesus Christ (Luke 18:1-8)

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Continuity

Love...

Love is the presence of understanding and care..

Care is one of the elements of affection...

Affection is the best way to transfer joyous moments...

Moments are the essence of time well spent...

Spent is the feeling you had when I made mistakes...

Mistakes are the bruises and wounds from my infliction...

Inflictions are the acts of my failures...

Failures are the cast of my temptations...

Temptations were absorbed by my lustfulness...

Lustfulness is the greed that broke your trust...

Trust is the one thing you told me not to abuse...

Abuse is the force that made you say enough...

Enough was the emotion you had for our marriage...

Marriage was the knot that got untangled...

Untangled was the one thing you wanted from myself...

Myself is the only person to blame...

Blame is the force that can't turn back those times...

Times when I hoped to see your smiles...

Smiles that I have lost over my lies...

Lies were the meals of my words...

Words that no longer hold credibility...

Credibility that could no longer be held by any structure...

Structure that now I pray I could find the tools to repair...

Repair is the hope I have to get you back to my arms

Arms that are now weak and struggling to climb your trust issued walls...

Wall That I have built by my deceptions...

Deceptions that you saw it through like a one sided mirror...

Mirror has the reflection of who I have to restructure...

Restructure is what I saw from God...

God who provided the answer...

Answer was given for us to be together again..

Again is the opportunity to repair this emotion...

Emotion is to refilled by trust and humility...

Humility has given me the courage to start all over...

Over are all my lies and wrong surprise...

Surprise is what I pray everyday...

Everyday is a good day to see you...

You are the one i truly love...

Love..

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Ignored

I ...

I don't ....

I don't know...

I don't know how...

I don't know how to...

I don't know how to make...

I don't know how to make you...

I don't know how to make you feel...

I don't know how to make you feel my existence...

I am just here ...

Am just here ...

Just here ...

Here ...

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15 Rules to live by.

1. Prioritize your faith.

2. When in pain, fast and pray.

3. Own up to your mistakes.

4. Never let anyone disrespect you.

5. You can lose everything, but never your family.

6. Your partner should be the source of your joy.

7. Always have the ambition to be better.

8. Never lose hope on something that you pray for.

9. Love what you do and do what you love.

10. Always look for an income.

11. You are what you put out.

12. Take every opportunity to help anyone you can.

13. Live by selflessness.

14. Don't let fear, hatred and anger run you.

15. When it's done, it's done. Learn and move on