dare to say no to drugs

a study in bad decisions, being left behind, and ruining things despite having good intentions.

[paltryst]

      everybody told me ever since i was young / i should bite my tongue / couple kids, picket fence / maybe earn a nice income / it'll get you some peace of mind / step in line, everything will be just fine

       independent & private trystan smith, a canadian drug dealer and aspiring somebody from netflix's fakes. written by charles.

                     rules. | about. | memes. | multimuse sideblog.

          affiliates: @redemptioninterlude | @immutatio

       then i looked up, found they must've left me behind / send shivers down my spine

[tutorgirlcommissions]

tutorgirlcommissions . hayden . she / they . you can choose to blame your circumstances on fate , or bad luck , or bad choices . or you could fight back .

[ishgard]

Anyone else ever wanna just… make pre-established connections between characters without having to RP it out cuz you’re a tired busy adult?

Like just hit each other up with shenanigans and tomfoolery and ‘they would totally do this’ sorta bs.

[paltryst]

CHARLES 💖

HELLO ANGEL LIGHT OF MY LIFE

[paltryst]

[paltryst]

been dealing with depression this week, so that’s why i haven’t been around much

[paltryst]

my sideblog got shadowbanned and this one started attracting porn blogs

[paltryst]

         ——𝘛𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘔𝘌 𝘏𝘖𝘞 𝘋𝘐𝘋 𝘞𝘌 𝘎𝘌𝘛 𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌? 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘞𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘌 𝘍𝘜𝘊𝘒 𝘋𝘖 𝘞𝘌 𝘎𝘖 𝘕𝘖𝘞?

         private & selective trystan smith from netflix's fakes. written by charles.

[redemptioninterlude]

Honestly, Rue is all jokes, because most of the time, as she describes it once to a boy in his bedroom as she smokes and they talk about the nature of love and loss, that she's just PAINFULLY AWKWARD. That she struggled with knowing how to connect and talk to people and maybe a joke was better than the awful twisting feeling that wound itself around her heart, into her chest. But it's kind of nice to listen to Tryst just like, talk about stuff. "Sounds like anxiety. Loss. Isn't it weird how all those things just... boom. With your heart?"

It's not like she wasn't intimately aware of that fact. It's a given with Rue, but she stilled to listen, and she thought, who was it who made her feel that? The reaction is obvious, lurching within her chest, gaze dipping down for a moment without saying anything. "... WELL I KNOW THAT." it's almost sullen and she kind of hates that because she doesn't mean for it to be. "But hey that's nice. Her birthday, huh? Let me see."

Rue leaned in closer, looking over the toy he's got up on the screen. It's kind of cute, watching him get all WORKED UP and excited for something that was like, well, not drugs or a party or the things that she usually felt had people rattling on and on about out here. Vancouver was like. Weird. Just like all these people living rich lives or poor ones and there was no in between and joy seemed rationed no matter what. But there was no denying it, that Tryst radiated it when talking about his kid which... "That's perfect. Honestly though, I'm telling you. Nothing replaces the time." hands clammy, her throat closing up. She misses him. That part, it never stops.

- @paltryst

[paltryst]

          sounds like anxiety. if he has anxiety, that's not all he's got. he's never been diagnosed with anything, but he's done more than enough google searching or talking to people with similar issues to his own to know that he's probably got adhd and depression. he also knows that anxiety tends to go with those. if he had to guess, he'd say rue deals with at least two out of three of those things herself. he looks at the joint, recognizes it as perhaps an unhealthy coping mechanism in this moment, and brings it to his lips again anyway.

          it's when he's inhaling that she brings up the time he's missing with his daughter, and that BOOM feeling goes off in his heart again. he gets a little angry with her, jaw tensing up as he holds smoke in his lungs. he uses his slow exhale as a deliberate moment to ground himself. she's not passing any judgement on him or trying to make him feel bad. it just does. he's mad at himself, not rue. he reminds himself that he's trying, every day, to become someone respectable enough to spend time with his kid. maybe he'll stop being mad at himself when he gets there. maybe he'll never stop being mad at himself for the time he did miss.

          he passes the joint back to rue. he hadn't missed the change in her voice despite his own internal dialogue, and since they were getting all in his feelings...

          "---who're you missing time with?"

[paltryst]

sometimes i get stuck in tumblr holes in which i go looking for one of my old blogs and find like six other ones that i forgot about along the way. i started making a google doc of them and i currently have 57 that i've been able to remember or find

[paltryst]

reminder that i have a little multi over at @soulkicked!

[depictedbluearchived]

my heart is a little heavy

i want so obviously, so desperately to be loved

and capable of love

independent & private cassie howard from hbo max's euphoria

featuring verses in: stranger things, scream, the walking dead, tvd, and much more!

loved on by mj // promo credit & carrd

[paltryst]

i'm probably gonna be pretty sparse here for a couple days, i have a busy weekend planned and i'm so tired from the amount of clients and taX FORMS i've had to deal with at work this week

[grimfate]

        𝑾𝑯𝑨𝑻  𝑰𝑺  𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑬  𝑩𝑼𝑻  𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯  𝑷𝑬𝑵𝑫𝑰𝑵𝑮  ?    /    #GRIMFATE.    primarily  horror - based  multi,  ft.  characters  from  silent  hill,  80’s  horror,  the  quarry  &  more.    traumatized  by  cole.  

[paltryst]

guys i kinda like the regular size font but everyone else uses small font for their threads so mine would look WEIRD if i just used this size

[paltryst]

so i'll maybe eventually make some graphics and stuff for it, but here's the multimuse i was encouraged to make when i told you guys to tell me not to do it

[redemptioninterlude]

Maybe that's her fault - Rue doesn't know how to do things casually, all caught up in being awkward and hating everything that came with small talk and INANE CONVERSATION. She wanted it to have weight - for things to matter if she was going to spend the time on it, but like, Rue also knew that most people? Just fucking sucked... maybe it was why she found it so hard to try, the disappointment of it all just... weighed down too heavily on her soul to really know how to handle it.

But she really likes Tryst. He's kind of got that older brother feeling to him that she's never had, a family of girls, a household of things forgotten. That when he asks, he too goes to the idea of his daughter which... Rue always feels that fathers have a sweet memory of their kids. Not all of them, she knows, ON GOD SHE KNOWS, but... Tryst, in that comment, solidifies himself as a more exemplary person within her eyes. "Almost a year... that's big. You guys gonna do anything for it? Like. What's the whole rage now... smash cakes? Setting forests on fire? Wait no, no, that's like... gender reveals. My bad."

There's a stupid grin on her face, but the second sentence... okay. Yeah. Now she feels like a fuckin' jerk, and so she leaves her lips pursed and her comments locked to herself, she knows shit like that can be complicated and that it's unfair since like... he seems like such a nice guy? But you only ever get a picture of a picture when you're standing on the OUTSIDE, humming of to herself. "... well. Sounds like love to me. Do you think you can like... see her soon? Or what are you gonna get her for her birthday?"

- @paltryst

[paltryst]

he does laugh, just a little, at the gender reveals comment. she's funny, and he likes that about her. it actually sort of dulled the pain of his admission that taylor doesn't let him see their kid, leaving the burning in his chest at a calm, almost peaceful crackle. a reminder that he's still alive, still feeling, if nothing else. the pain gives him something to work for, so he doesn't shut down the conversation like his gut tells him to. instead he clears his throat and says, "yeah, it's love. this like... grip on your heart." his hand clenches into a fist slowly in front of his chest, then rests against the horn of the car. "no one else has ever made me feel like if i lost them, like really lost them and could never see them again, it would destroy me."

he pauses, clears his throat again, then adds, "i'll probably get to see her around her birthday. i was thinking---" he lifts his ass off the seat, pulls his phone from his back pocket, and opens it to a browser window he had open. he turns it to rue, showing the idea. it's one of those wooden cubes with all kinds of moving shapes and colors. there are gears on one side, twisted pieces metal at the top with a banana and a strawberry to push along them, and letters that you could flip to numbers on another side. it's kind of got everything.

"it's called an activity cube, right? and i remember fuckin' loving these things, like in the doctor's office lobby, you know? and they're supposed to help them learn and shit. and then i dunno, a stuffed animal. maybe a little dress or some cool kicks."