there's things she tells herself when she's growing up and watching serena, that she'll never do. she's seen the effect of poor decisions and how they wear, the kinds of consequences that buried themselves from being selfish and reckless. and really, was there ANY OTHER WAY to label this than for what it was? how she's made to be aware of how she's halfway sure that the world as she had curated it might implode if she were to take less of a calculated risk, and more of a leap of faith when it came to things perhaps having more stable legs than she was willing to give it credit. she hated the cliché of it, what others might say, how reputation was meant to be everything... what was she expecting, getting together with a man who seemed to care far less for that, and loudly so, willing to be seen as the villain so long as he was right.
and fuck, if that didn't give her the WEAKEST knees.
she would have taken right over liked any day, and most didn't agree with her, but wesley? lived it, breathed it, would show off just to make a point of it, how true that stuck with him. that's not something she's willing to admit to, even as she's winding closer, that laugh, sleep worn, sliding from her lips. "do you know how much my tights cost? believe me, i think we might be far more equitable in this exchange than you know it to be." oh. his years working the commentary booth really did make a clever man out of him in a way that would make her swoon if she could get past admitting that his personality wasn't the worst. it certainly wasn't now, as she sipped at her coffee and made a face. it's perfect. there's nothing to pull as a complaint or a snappy comment, she just drinks it, and feels a WARMTH that she didn't expect.
she flirts, he demurs, like, he's remembered before she did to behave. as if there's much room for that when she's wearing his clothes and he's wearing her enthusiasm, it all feels like a MOOT POINT to her. at least she can laugh at the idea, brows raising. "somehow, i think this is more of a reddit then a reporters speculative moment." though, she could tell that they were all too candid amongst themselves, wait - a reminder. god, this was a bad idea, even when she's finding it easier to know where to go in his place, how she knows where to get glasses, or the way to his bathroom in the dark. the small things that a girl could overdose on if she was looking to cope, but blair...
she likes to think she's more practical than that. a girl who's been more measured, always, than someone willing to sleep with their clients. she knew it'd be explosively difficult if it were to come out, that they'd need to do something, statements made, lines re-drawn. but why did she want this not to STOP, that she was enjoying the way that they'd wrap up in a room, with her stone faced while his got red, the both of them utter opposites when dealing with the public, and one another. this? was the abnormality, the thing that didn't fit, making her laugh, easily, at the idea. "i don't know . you kind of have a wicked tongue yourself, and no, not just in that way." brows raising, a scoff. she's the one projecting. she can't help that part.
because even a small part of her, that was alive, and there, couldn't help but feel like for once, she was the one that perhaps didn't measure up. who couldn't hold it together, who lacked the something that might have made her so easily the right choice. but blair's never really been around anyone who was even slightly competent, on their best days. the rich were so often loaded up with DYSFUNCTION, and nepotism ruined so many things. it made meeting someone who did have it together so... difficult to know what to do with, if she's more honest. she's so used to the upper hand, it all being a competition, a game to be won, that this?
oh god, she'd never been equipped for anything like this in the FIRST PLACE. and as a result, she's floundering, pulling at the edge of his shirt. "well, i'll take that under advisement. does this mean if we end up at my much more enjoyable place by the way-" he's been over a handful of times. kitty minky had decided he was acceptable company. "you might have to walk out in one of my little numbers, we might find that you too happen to be a better fit." the grin's hard to fight. shit. this is getting bad for her. "did you have to go somewhere early today?"
