The Joy Threshold
Read: Luke 2:10, John 15:11, John 16:22
Last week I started working for my new office. The project is called Borderless (Time-Free) Accountancy Program, where students can finish their five-year program in two to three years’ time. You see, I am a Communication graduate, so basically, I thrive with words but not with numbers. However, the School Board said that it will just be purely office work, no math. So, I signed up myself to become the school’s new Quality Assurance Officer for the CHED-funded project.
I started working for my new boss, the head of the Accountancy Department. He was a gentle soul – funny and hard-working. But there are times when I feel that I am too overworked, given that our load has not yet taken its full roll. I was the kind of subordinate who is able to juggle many tasks in a day – yet I feel that this new job is taking its toll on me.
I thought it was my new boss’ lack of rapport or lambing. I was used to my other (not former coz she still is) boss’ ways, that all her demands I get to exceed in delivery. Then I thought, it is because it’s an accountancy thing – it will never be my thing. It’s hard to pose as someone you’re actually not. Lastly, I thought it were the people I get to relate to because of this new job. The school is a tall organization, so many bosses, so many signatories. And you have to wait for these people’s schedule to sync before you can proceed with a meeting. I thought all the bureaucracy will never fit my fast-paced working style. All the waiting bored me to death I wanted to quit.
However, in my devotion, God spoke to me that I, myself determine the amount of joy I experience from Him.
We dictate what our hearts will feel towards the discomforts our circumstances give. Too many times my threshold is so low that I tend to just whine and ask God why unfortunate events happen.
I was earning a salary that you may describe as “just right.” So, any diversion from the budget will literally send me panic attacks bi-monthly. Two weeks ago, someone sat (I hope not on purpose) on my iPhone while it is being charged. The phone was okay, but the charger, literally folded at the tip. I cannot shout to find out who the culprit is (it is my first time in the provincial house of the boyfriend) and so I just sighed and said to myself, “Another to-buy for the next cutoff.”
A week after that, the boyfie and I went to Amadeo for our family’s last hurrah for summer. On our way, I found out that my headset was not with me. When I got back to Manila, I checked and it was not at the dorm neither at school. Again, “Another to-buy for the next cutoff.”
These little unexpected expenses, sometimes drive the joy in my already low-spending life. I can’t even buy myself a milktea if I want to because of the bills, bills, and bills. These are just some of the concerns my twenty-nine-year-old self is facing every day. Most of them silly, some of them knock me down completely. Yet in all these, one thing is certain:
Even in the midst of the most painful experiences in our lives, we still knew that He loved us.
God’s love for us is not measured by our circumstances, but His ultimate sacrifice to save us from the greatest danger of all time – our sinful selves.
If you will ask the people around me to describe how am I as an ate, colleague or friend, they will probably tell you these adjectives: bubbly, humorous, joker, life of the conversation. I try (always!) to see the positive in every situation. Sometimes it’s too mechanical that I feel like a hypocrite myself.
I realized, that if I will rely on my own strength and ability to be happy, I will probably go insane. That is why I ask God every time to raise my joy threshold, so that I will be able to be genuinely joyful, and impart that joy to the people around me.
When I became a Christian, there were too many times when I felt like I am being too legalistic. The adage “the goal of Christianity is not to be happy but to be holy” stuck a little too hard. I felt like having a “fun time” robs me off my “holy” time with God. Us, Christians surrender our joy too easily. We are too preoccupied of “church” that we forget about “fun, faith and family.” There’s a reason why fun came in first.
When I became a Victory Group Leader and Ministry Leader at the same time in 2012, I knew that there will be so much to do. It started out nice, yet ministry work can be real addictive. But it came a time when it felt like a compulsion, a tedious task that drags my feet to (very!) frequent meetings. I completely forgot the reason why I was serving.
It’s all because of Jesus.
Because of “ministry work” I sacrificed my time with God. I promised (and broken) every time that once tasks are accomplished, I will enjoy my devotions for Him. But there always seemed more work to do.
I didn’t get the idea, though it was always reiterated in church, that our time with God comes first. We receive our joy from Him, and without Him supplying this joy, we will be left empty. I realized that starting off my day with Him makes me accomplish more. And I was back with more to give to the ministry. I asked Him for so many things. I asked him even for the littlest of things.
I asked Him to enlarge my joy capacity.