It’s exactly 6am, I am still bursting with anger because my husband told me “Anong ano jan” with a tone that ticked me off because for the love of peace and quiet in our household I CANNOT FIGURE OUT HIS PC. My brain is to squirmy to even come up with words when I wish to write something as bland as this blog. I feel like my efforts in life are always overlooked because it’s “what I am supposed to do” as a wife, a mom, a non working human in this household. A little back story might be helpful to understand my postpartum rage.
7am woke up to feed crying baby then fell asleep.
9am woke up again, chapped lips from dehydration, drank water and fed awakened baby from waking from the bed.
10:30am fixed the bed (half) with asleep baby, went downstairs to thaw the chicken and had a peaceful 30mins choking on my cheerios and figuring out if there is a faster way of finishing it because I know I am unconsciously timed by my husband if I am taking too long downstairs bc he is working upstairs.
11:30am finished cooking, cleaned kitchen, living room and I went up. Fixed the baby’s bath tub and clothes, and while the husband bathes the baby, I clean the room, I sweep, I tidy, I fix. Then he calls for me to pat the baby dry and groom.
12:30 husband goes for lunch, I stay with the baby to feed and his 1st afternoon nap. I get my peace too for 30mins until he “does” things “quietly” for him and wakes up the baby. It’s 1:30pm, and I have a dental appointment with an empty tummy and reek of sweat and breastmilk.
1:35pm I power shower/ clean myself as I fell exhaustion reach my eyes and I feel a tad bit warm on the eyes. I refuse to cry, this is everyday, I can’t be too surprised, nor disappointed.
2:15pm reached dentist and the procedure goes. I wish he didn’t have to ask questions so I could have my quiet time.
4:30pm I went for a quick Mcdo fix, staring blankly into the students thinking “ang lalandi netong mga to ke babata” squeeing their delight in seeing a group of sweaty boys enter the premises. I can’t even eat in peace, the student next to me keeps shouting.
I booked a Joyride (not sponsored, charot) and asked the rider to kindly stop by any Dunkin Donuts kiosk, I added the fare, ofcourse. I was fast and sure of what to get and in less than 5 mins we were on our way to the house, the home? I don’t know.
My baby was wide awake when I got home, good, I said because my boobs were exploding. I fed the baby and he proceeded to working again - checking his phone again - to trading again - to playing switch again - and not finishing his work again due to the many stop overs to a finished contract.
I know he is making a living while trying to earn on the side (stock trading) but when your baby is almost 99.99% facing his cellphone and monitor, always having to catch the baby on his “improper” position while sleeping, ticks me a great deal specially when I keep reminding but never listened to. Paulit ulit ako na hindi dapat ganun position ng baby dahil baka makasanayan ng likod with his unsteady bone structure. ANG TIGAS NG ULO NG ASAWA KO.
It’s dinner time. I told him to fix his own plate, walang nadinig. I had to say “wow don na don ha, nag aabang na lang ng pagkaen nakaupo na” and prepred his food with a grin. The baby cried while we ate and I didn’t stop. My last meal were 30 pcs of cheerios at 10:35am and I am hungry. He was on his 2nd bowl tho.
He washed the plates, I go back to wipe the counter. Fix the dishes and arrange. Every. Single. Day.
We went up at 8:30pm after the news. I told him to clean and change the baby to his sleepwear while I cleaned the room again and prepare for sleep. Emails to Cafe Kai keeps coming about bazaars, rentals and opportunities, I reminded him to make an LOI and he nodded.
My back hurts, I feed the baby again, and this was about the start of our fight.
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