FMA One-shot: You Got Yourself A Deal
Just in time for New Years, here is my first Parental RoyEd fanfic! Feel free to leave your comments and enjoy!
Summary: On an unusual trip to Eastern Command, Ed finds himself making a deal with Roy Mustang. A semi-sequel to “Ed Knows Best?" Was intended to be part of Parental RoyEd Week before it was canceled.
Edward Elric looked at the clock, wondering what time it was. Hoping that his meeting with his superior, Colonel Roy Mustang was almost over. His eyes widened though, when he saw the time.
Instead of the usual ten minute report meetings he always dreaded, he’d been sitting in his office for half an hour. Being forced to watch his boss angrily flip through the papers in front of him. And, in all honesty, feel himself growing more nervous with each passing second.
And not without good reason, either.
In the four years they’d known each other, he’d never seen the Flame Alchemist look so angry.
The whole time, he hadn’t snarked at Ed. Never implied who he was dealing with, didn’t even make one "short” joke at his expense.
Instead, Mustang was holding the bridge of his forehead between his fingers. Twitching his eyebrow like he was about to blow a gasket.
“So let me see if I get this straight; you two were cornered and at gunpoint,” he paused. “And you thought the best course of action was to cut the bridge and possibly get yourselves killed!?”
Ed stared blankly at the Flame Alchemist, chuckling nervously as he started scratching his cheek. “Uh…yeah,” he said. “Al said you’d say something like that.”
“Well of course I would,” Mustang replied. “What the hell were you thinking!?”
The Fullmetal Alchemist growled. His brother, Alphonse warned him he’d get chewed out for that stunt he’d pulled back in the Eastern Jungle with Allan Shire. Not that Ed cared. He may be one of Mustang’s subordinates, but he doubted the Colonel would care enough to call him out for it. Now that he was being chastised, he couldn’t help but feel the need to defend himself.
“I was thinking of saving me and Al.”
“How? By recklessly putting your lives in danger?”
“Oh, come on! Like you haven’t pulled some reckless stunts on all those away missions you go on.”
“Yes, but there’s a difference between being reckless and being stupid.”
The Fullmetal Alchemist couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow; did Mustang really just say that to him?
“Oh yeah? I bet the Lieutenant would beg to differ if she was here, right now.”
Ed grinned as he watched his superior’s angry face turn into one of dumbfoundment.
Yes, not even Roy Mustang could deny that his assistant, Riza Hawkeye would be saying something much different if she were present. After all, he relied on her to keep him on task, whether it was in the office or out on the field. Heck, she was most likely the reason he wasn’t six feet under, by now. So as far as Ed was concerned, the Colonel couldn’t talk his way out of this one.
For once, victory would be his!
He didn’t know how right he was. Because next thing he knew, Mustang ran his fingers through his raven locks and let out an exhausted sounding sigh.
Of course, what he didn’t know was that Roy hadn’t done it out of anger or annoyance.
Sure the Colonel was prideful, but he was man enough to admit when he was beaten. So he steeled his obsidian gaze into the kid’s gold orbs and said “Just be more careful next time,
Fullmetal. That’s all I ask.”
Ed felt his eyes widen when he heard him say that. He even let himself smile.
“Wow…I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this concerned before, Mustang.”
Roy smirked. “Well of course I’m concerned, kid,” he said. “Imagine how bad it would look for me if word got out that I let the Fullmetal Alchemist get killed under my watch.”
The kid frowned, though he wasn’t sure why? Was he really expecting his superior to be anything but condescending to him?
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
He got up from the couch and made his way towards the door.
“Don’t you think it’s time you stopped looking for the Philosopher’s Stone?” Mustang asked. “How many years has been since you started this journey? Three? Maybe it’s time you just accept your lot in life and give up on this pipe dream of yours.”
Ed could feel his hand tightening into a fist. The Colonel was always so dismissive of his journey to find the legendary stone, and had been so for a long time, often reminding him of his failure whenever he came in to report to him.
It was irritating to the young alchemist.
“That’s funny; weren’t you the one who said if I chose this life that I should suck it up and keep moving forward?”
“Yes, but what I’m asking is for you to be realistic.”
He turned to face the stoic looking Colonel.
“I don’t care what you say, I’m going to find it no matter what.”
Having said his piece, the boy bowed to his superior and left the room. Not even bothering to close the door.
Ed let out a sigh as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. It didn’t seem to matter how much he chatted or even worked with Roy Mustang, he simply couldn’t understand him.
One minute, he seemed to genuinely care about him and his brother. And the next, he’d reveal that it was all an act or that he was keeping vital information from them. Almost as if he were two separate people.
By all accounts, it shouldn’t have bothered him. Since day one, Mustang made it perfectly clear he was only using Ed’s talents to make himself look good.
But it did…And for the longest time, he could never figure out why.
He often chalked it up to Mustang being a manipulative slime ball. But somewhere, in the back of his mind, a part of him knew that wasn’t true.
So what was it then, he wondered? Did he really want to trust Mustang, deep down? Or was he thinking about it too hard? He wasn’t sure.
All Ed knew was that during times like this, he wished he could just ignore these thoughts about his superior and move on. But that was easier said than done.
He couldn’t count how many times in the last few years Mustang’s subordinates defended him from Ed’s personal jabs, often telling him that there was more to their boss than just a scheming skirt-chaser. Riza Hawkeye in particular was always quick to defend her Colonel, but Ed had his doubts.
He was always hearing rumours around Eastern Command that she was his mistress, whatever that meant, so he couldn’t be sure how reliable her opinion was.
Between their statements and his thoughts, it always confused the Fullmetal Alchemist greatly. Until he had an answer that made as much sense to him as the basic laws of Equivalent Exchange did, Roy Mustang would forever remain an enigma to him. An annoying, smug enigma.
He didn’t want to think about the Colonel anymore, he just wanted to get something to eat and go to bed. So Ed walked over and waved to a suit of armour sitting on a bench in the hallway.
With a smile on his face, he watched as the lumbering suit stood up and looked down to stare at him. For rather, as his younger brother, Alphonse looked down to stare at him.
“How do you think it went, Al? He totally chewed me out for that stunt I pulled back at the mining shaft.”
Ed walked down the hallway as Al clanked alongside him, waiting for the inevitable “I told you so” his brother always gave him in moments like these.
“Well what did you expect?”
“I expected him to at least give me a pass.”
“But it’s his job to make sure we don’t get into trouble.”
The blonde snorted. “Come on! He only does that to make himself look good and you know it!”
“I guess,” Al replied. “I don’t know, brother. I get that Colonel Mustang has done a lot of questionable things, but I don’t think he’s as heartless as you think he is. If that’s true, he wouldn’t have such loyal followers.”
Ed let out a sigh; even his own brother was defending the bastard Colonel. Though he really shouldn’t have been surprised, Al was always playing devil’s advocate to his cynicism.
“If you say so,” he said. He blew a lose strand of blonde hair from his face and went to straighten his red long coat. “Come on, Al. Let’s go-”
Only to realize something. “Where’s my coat?” he wondered.
“Ah crap, I forgot it in his office! I’ll be right back.”
He ran back to the office and walked in through the door.
As soon as Ed was back in the office, he came face to face with a sight he didn’t think he’d ever see. Colonel Mustang was sitting at his desk, drinking what had to be alcohol from a small silver flask in his hand.
When he was finished he brought the bottle down to his eye level stared at it sadly, like it was his only friend in the world.
The Colonel turned his head back to the young alchemist and gasped. “Ed! What are you doing back here?”
The Fullmetal Alchemist was a bit surprised by Mustang’s reaction. His eyes were wide, and there was even a hint of blush on his cheeks, like he’d been caught with his pants down or something.
And in some respects, he probably had been; last Ed checked, he was pretty sure it was against protocol to be drinking while on duty.
“Hey! Is there a reason you came back here, kid?”
He’d been so caught up in the moment, he nearly forgot about what he came back for. “I…forgot my coat.”
“Oh…,” Roy replied. “Well, I guess you’ve seen me drinking now so you might as well get your coat and be done with it.”
Well, Ed didn’t need to think twice about that. He could already tell from the tone in Mustang’s voice that he was peeved about his privacy being interrupted, even if it was accidental. Another minute in here and he’d probably be snapping at him to get out.
Ed walked over to the couch and grabbed the red coat he always wore. As he started putting it on he glanced back at the Colonel and watched him take another sip of whatever it was he was gulping down.
He looked so different from the cocky know-it-all Ed was used to seeing. Aside from how stressed he’d been earlier, his face was pale and distraught, like he hadn’t slept in days. And on closer inspection, Ed noticed how glazed, bloodshot and above all, sad his eyes were.
“Sad eyes…,” he thought to himself.
Seeing Mustang like this was starting to bring back memories of childhood, memories he’d never told another living soul, not even Al.
“You know, I never understood the point of alcohol.”
Roy looked at the kid. “What?”
“Alcohol, I don’t get why adults drink it?”
And then Ed clamped his mouth shut, waiting for whatever smartass remark Mustang would throw his way. But to his surprise, the Colonel gave him a smirk and said “I guess you were surrounded by adults who drank, huh?”
The kid’s eyes widened. “Yeah.” He hadn’t been expecting that kind of reaction from his superior, but he figured he might as well take it. At least it wasn’t some snappy comeback. “My old man and Pinako used to drink together all the time after they were done work for the day.”
Roy raised an eyebrow. “Pinako?” he asked. “Oh right, the old lady who looks after that little friend of yours.” He waved his hand dismissively.
Ed raised an eyebrow as he watched the Colonel take another sip from his flask; he never got why Mustang always dismissed any mention of his friend, Winry Rockbell, but it’d happened enough over the years that he’d like an answer someday.
Though now probably wasn’t the best time.
“Right…,” Ed said. He could always ask him later. “Anyway, they would always get together and drink for a few hours. It seemed like it was every other day and I never got why.”
Ed could see it so clearly in his mind.
It was the middle of the night, he should’ve been asleep. But no matter how hard he tried the little tott just couldn’t drift off to dreamland. So he got out of bed and made his way down the hall towards his father’s library, hoping to find a good book to read.
He got distracted by the light from the kitchen, and walked over to the door.
And that’s when he got a glimpse of something he’d never seen before. His father and Pinako were sitting at the table, faces flushed and talking about something he couldn’t comprehend, mainly because every other word they said came out in some funny accent he didn’t recognize.
But that wasn’t the weirdest part. No, the weirdest thing he saw was what they were drinking. Some strangely coloured substance he’d never seen before, contained and sipped from an oddly shaped glass with a handle.
He didn’t know what it was at the time, he only found out when his mother caught him and took him back to bed.
“They’re drinking alcohol,” she said. When Ed asked if he could have some, she laughed. “No, Edward. That’s something adults drink.”
And that was the end of it.
“What about your mom? Did she ever drink?”
The young alchemist snapped back into the present to see the Colonel staring at him, waiting patiently for an answer.
“Sometimes, but not often. Mostly whenever we had guests over. But when that bastard left, I saw her with a glass in hand every so often…she looked so sad, like she was trying to forget about him…”
Ed could feel his hands turning into fists. He still remembered those nights, too. He’d wake up to go to the bathroom and notice the kitchen light was on. Whenever he saw that, his little hands would tighten into fists, because he knew exactly what was going on.
He knew his mom was behind that door. Sitting at the dinner table, drinking alcohol and staring out the window. Most likely thinking about his father and when he’d be coming back.
“What father?” Ed thought in those days.
How could his father be so mean, abandoning his mother like that and leaving her to drink alone while she waited for him to return?
But then the blonde realized something.
“Come to think of it, I saw Pinako do that a lot after Winry’s parents died. My old man usually looked sad too whenever he drank, even before he ditched us…”
“Well, it can’t be helped, kid,” Roy said. “Sometimes, adults need to escape from their crappy lives. And unfortunately, the quickest way is usually through drowning their sorrows in a bottle.”
The Colonel never answered Ed, opting instead to stare at him silently with a blank, somber expression.
“You’ll understand someday when you’re older.”
“I doubt it, Colonel,” he said. He straightened his coat and gave the man a smirk. “ To be honest, I really don’t think alcohol’s for me.”
He walked towards the door.
“Tell you what, kid. When you turn eighteen in a few years, I’ll take you out for your first drink. Then you can decide if alcohol is for you or not.”
Ed turned to face his superior with wide eyes.
What greeted Ed was Roy Mustang smiling at him. Not smirking like he usually was, but actually smiling. It made the Fullmetal Alchemist return one of his own.
“Alright, Colonel…You got yourself a deal.”
Looks like for once, he could safely say he didn’t walk out of Mustang’s office steaming with rage.
And Roy? Well, he just kept smiling at the kid. “Good,” he said. “I look forward to it, Fullmetal.”
Quiet. Dark. Peaceful. It was exactly the way Edward wanted his room to be when he took his first drink; sitting in his room alone, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. His only companies the glass of scotch in his hand and the light of the full moon.
He wasn’t quite sure what to make of turning eighteen. All day, people had been congratulating him on becoming a man, but what did that even mean? He didn’t feel any different, didn’t feel any wiser.
Was it some sort of custom or right of passage in this world? He didn’t know. And good luck asking his father, he’d been gone for months now.
In the end, he’d been forced to chalk it up as another one of those mysteries he’d never get an answer to.
Either way, Ed decided that now was the time to take the plunge. To become like the rest of the adults he knew in his life and drink his problems away.
He smiled sadly; part of him felt sorry for brushing off his roommate, Alfons the way he did.
All day, he kept insisting they go to a bar after work to celebrate his birthday. That way, they he could have his first drink with a friend.
But Ed insisted on having his first drink when they got home, saying he already promised to have his first drink with someone else.
When Alfons asked him who this mystery person was, he just said it was an old friend of his.
Ed smiled as he recalled the memory from two years ago. He didn’t know it then, but he was looking forward to this day. He wanted to see the look on the Colonel-sorry, General, he had to keep reminding himself Mustang had been promoted before he left. See the General’s face when he showed him he didn’t need alcohol and brag about it all night.
Too bad it would never happen, at least not now. Maybe one day, when he finally got back to Amestris he could hold up his end of the bargain.
But for now, all Ed could do was sit and reminisce.
“Well, General, it’s been two years but I’m finally taking my first drink.” He held his glass of scotch up to the sky. “Cheers, Mustang.”
He chuckled. “Who am I kidding? You’re probably out partying with some woman or something.”
Ed went ahead and took a sip of the fowl smelling liquid. He gagged.
Not that it stopped him from drinking the rest of his glass. And if Ed was being honest with himself, the more he drank it the more he enjoyed it.
Mustang had often recommended he try scotch for his first drink, but warned him it was an acquired taste. He was right.
The night air was cold. The snow was blowing and howling. In other words, it was just like every other night since Roy moved up here.
Not that he really minded.
Not many people knew it, but despite being once known as The Flame Alchemist he hated warm weather, so the cold was really of no concern to him.
Except for today where the weather reached a low of minus 50, forcing Roy to seek shelter in his living quarters every half hour or so less he surcome to hypothermia.
Needless to say, the Corporal was glad the day was over. For once, he was more than happy to sit by the roaring fire and drink his scotch.
When he woke up that morning, Roy remembered it was Edward Elric’s eighteenth birthday. Yes, was. He still believed that the Fullmetal Alchemist was alive and well despite what his friends said, and the military declaring the kid M.I.A.
No, the irony was not lost on him. He couldn’t count how many times it made him chuckle to no one but himself.
For as long as he could remember, Roy had never believed in the fates. He’d always scoffed at the idea of luck and destiny, rolled his eyes whenever someone mentioned the idea of ghosts or the devil’s work, he never even blamed God when his parents died in a car crash, leaving him an orphan.
But now the last two years had seen him hoping again all hope for that kid to come home someday. The kid he’d used as a pawn in his own schemes, the kid he’d grown to love like his son, the kid he’d finally grown to respect as his equal.
He wanted to sit down and talk with him, ask him how he’d been. And above all apologize for all the shit he’d put Ed through and start over, like they had the last night he saw him alive.
But until that day came there was only one thing Roy could do, and that was toast to Ed’s first drink as a legal adult.
So he held up his glass to the crackling fire with a sad smile.
In the socket that once housed his left eye, he could see the memory so clearly like it was yesterday, as well as other memories of the kid he held dear to his heart. Relieved that for once he was seeing happy memories, as opposed to the horrified faces of the countless lives he’d taken over the years.
“Happy birthday, Fullmetal…,” he said. “Wherever you are…”
The Corporal took a sip of his scotch. He stared somberly at the fire, and began his nightly ritual of thinking that maybe tomorrow would be the day his friend would come home safe and sound.
