it really is such a fascinating paradox. the more time i spend with my pred friends -- or rather in my pred friends -- the more i feel adamant that im not food. or at least that im not just food.
being kept safe in my friends bellies so often has really me be build up a tolerance of sorts. im not anxious like i used to be. and its not like im unaware that im snuggled up in a stomach. i do have to pass through a maw and throat just to get there. its more like the fact that i know im food doesnt feel pejorative like it used to. its become a way i can show my love and trust with those i care about.
being swallowed down again and again and always making it back out. i cant say i dont still feel vulnerable, and i still get a little spooked from time to time -- itd be impossible not to given the nature of where i am. im under no illusion that i am, in fact, made of calories. but having my friends reassure me that im safe. having them hold true to that every time is the best feeling in the whole wide world.
feeling their heartbeat and breath quicken with excitement whenever they feel me squirm or readjust. hearing their muffled voice checking in on me. seeing the love and excitement and joy in their face once im safely spit back up. it makes me so happy.
it fills me with so much pride to get to snuggle up in my friends bellies the way i do. there was a time when i never thought id get this kind of intimate love from anybody, and knowing that i have a number of pred friends who have grown to love and care for me enough to wanna keep me safe in the most dangerous part of their bodies. that they wanna keep me safe in the same part responsible for indifferently mulching countless preythings just like me. that they wanna make sure i end up okay no matter what. i know im prey but my hungry pred friends make me feel like so much more than just a meal.
ive grown so much more confident and expressive with my needs. ive started to see myself as worth taking care of and holding gently. getting to be so comfortable in my vulnerability, so confident in my humanity with people who were never meant to see me as more than food, means more than i could ever possibly express.
im so proud to have added so many big strong preds to my little prey family. i love them all to pieces, and im honored that ill get to keep snuggling up inside them. ill cherish my beloved pred friends until the end of time.
