Pastiche: The TV Project

A wacky homeroom of students in an elective school study media class and their equally quirky families go through an assortment of wacky but rather familiar misadventures.

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Life and Death

By Margaret Willoughby-Penderghast

Indisclosednia is probably the first country to have a near complete record of every person who has ever lived since the nation’s inception. Immigrants are required to submit copies of birth certificates. The national records both the first person ever born in the country and the first person to have died there.

With this newness comes a lack of any concrete traditions that are uniquely Indisclosednean. Milestone ceremonies are carried over from the countries the families came from. Some mixed-culture families decide to fuse traditions whenever they could. This was the case with my own family back in the United Kingdom and one that my husband, an African American man, hope to continue here as we put down our own roots.

Birth and Adoption

Indisclosednia still has a relatively low birthrate, just hovering above replacement levels. Most of our population growth hinges on immigration. That said, there are plenty of provisions for birth control and prenatal care within the healthcare system. Women and, on occasion, transgender men can receive fertility treatment if they wish to be on the family way.

Adoption has no public stigma in Indisclosednia, but it is still a rare option for families. Local religious groups and the government work toward supporting the robust fostering and adoption system that provides homes for children in need of families. Since the legalization of same-gender marriage, LGBT+ couples have the right to adopt a child.

Milestone Ceremonies

Adolescent coming of age ceremonies are a common reason for celebration. Young people throughout the country have generally acknowledged that their cultures all have a milestone ceremony sometimes between the ages of 12 to 21.

While some communities are more reserved with their ceremonies, others are more open. In general, most families sidestep the issue by holding two parties, respecting the sanctity of their traditions while inviting friends from other cultures to celebrate the milestone on their own terms. This milestone after party is commonly left to the celebrator.

Death and Memorial

Most of the dead in the country are cremated. Due to the rising cost of land, very few cemeteries exist in the country. Local law limits their sizes, making ground burials a very expensive proposition. Many cultures who otherwise prefer to bury their dead have conceded to placing the remains of their deceased in columbaria or scattered. Muslims remain the primary exception to the rule. The country’s Muslim cemetery in Baywood is the second largest in the country.

All but the most expensive cemeteries also put a cap for most ground burials. They can remain in the ground only long enough to decompose, upon which their remains are transferred to ossuaries. Most transfers are included in memorial packages at no cost to the family of the deceased.

Many local customs have adapted accordingly, holding the same memorial services but eschewing the burial itself. Coffin rentals are an available option for those who wish to hold a more traditional viewing before burial.

Scatterings are done in dedicated community gardens, many of which are sponsored by religious groups. Scattering cremains in public or at sea is strictly prohibited as per pollution laws.

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Communications and Information

By Tanner Ashford 

Nothing stops the march of technological progress. Some dread it. Some misguided miscreants try to fight it. Some attempt to run from it. It’ll come knocking on your door anyway. The world is growing connected, and we ought to stay connected with it.

Tanner Investments is committed to making this a possibility. By fostering the creation of a flourishing digital startup ecosystem within Indisclosednia, we hope to keep the country connected to the global information market. Now, entertainment is hardly the first thing that comes to mind when building a competitive economy. But the growth potential in this sector never fails to disappoint.

A Brief History

The modern world arrived with this island when the people did. The technology of the 20th Century came along with the first settlers. When independence was achieved, investors wasted no time in getting the new country connected to the outside world. A radio station, courier service (now the Indisclosednean post office), and a phone company was all they had at first. This was followed by a cable television service.

Today, the Indisclosednean Republic contains a flourishing media scene divided cleanly between the independent creators within their own artisan ecosystems, and an oligopoly of three corporate-owned media conglomerates. Regional and international media frequently only enter the market through partnerships with these companies. The government also operates a fourth network, which is dedicated almost entirely to public service announcements and the occasional entertaining public access shows run by students.

Breaking the Monopoly

The nature of the company means that a natural monopoly on communications was almost inevitable. For most of the 1990s, there was only one telephone system, exactly two channels, and two registered radio stations. It took the rapid growth of the country’s immigrant population to force two other telecommunications and media networks to spring up.

The backwardness brought by monopolistic policies has had a noticeable effect on the islands’ popular culture. Even with the presence of high-speed Internet and other mods and cons of the modern world, the island feels rather backwards aesthetically. The largely industrial economy, meanwhile, adds to this feeling.

Pursuing the Shift

The country cannot rely on industries built around rentier resources forever. To flourish, it must diversify.

A robust domestic market, entrepreneurial culture, and a growing media savvy talent pool has drawn investors like myself to Indisclosednia. My companies and colleagues at the Chamber of Commerce and Expatriate Business association have looked at ways to bring our vision of a flourishing media and tech startup scene to the country. We have identified key areas for improvement that may hinder our growth plans for a flourishing tech scene in the islands:

The Oligopoly

Domestic market

Power capacity

Talking about a country’s economic challenges isn’t anyone’s idea of fun. But the possibility of solving them does bring a smile to one’s face.

The event that broke the country’s longstanding media monopoly was unprecedented population and economic growth. No longer could Olmstead Holdings maintain their chokehold. The country was just too big. With the new companies came true competition. This brought in better and more affordable services, a boon to the average Indisclosednean resident.

The kind of breakthrough economic prosperity we envision will rely on further population growth, which as of today is still hampered by the nation’s small size. Encouraging high-density residential redevelopment in the big cities to make room for more immigrant families is one solution. The skyline of Hoonoisweir and Baywood are dominated mostly by skyscraper hotels. In the future, they would be joined by media companies, tech enterprises, and apartment blocks. The welcome mat is open. We just need to make room.

Modern telecommunications and Internet-based enterprises rely on a huge amount of power. Electricity in Indisclosednia remains expensive relative to a country its size. Naysayers like the Olmstead Group want to open up further oil exploration and double down on dirty power. Such a move would threaten the very fabric of what we hope to build. I believe an island nation dominated by the oil industry is sowing the seeds of its own destruction

Alternate sources of energy, therefore, remain a significant point of exploration for both the Expatriate Business Association and our friends at the Chamber of Commerce. Geothermal power is the silver lining we hope to find should Mount Balder be active. If it worked for Iceland, it’ll work for Indisclosednia.

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Meet the Contributors

The Welcome to Indisclosednia team draws contributors from beyond the government. Our articles represent the views of people from different cultures, ages, and backgrounds.

The Right Honourable Rafe Kalashnikov Prime Minister of Indisclosednia

Son of former prime minister Anastasia Kalashnikova, Rafe began his career in government in the Ministry of Tourism in and served as the chairman of the Labour Party. At age 28, he is the first Prime Minister of the country to be a natural-born citizen and is the youngest to hold office. He currently resides in the Ministerial Palace at Hoonoisweir.

Her Honour, Sunita Bhargavi, PhD Associate Chief Justice, High Court of Indisclosednia

Justice Bhargavi holds a doctorate in law and is one of the candidates for appointment for the position of chief justice. Prior, she had enjoyed a storied career in retail, real estate, and entertainment, and is known for her cult classic collection of albums known as Simply. A recent citizen, Dr. Bhargavi hails from Kolkata, India. She lives in Baywood City with her husband and three children.

Joseph Tobias Kurt Captain, Indisclosednean Navy, National Defence Corps

Capt. Kurt is the commanding officer of the I.S.S. Business, a gunboat charged with patrolling the easterly waters of Gaussia and Baywood for pirates. Prior, he was a member of the German Naval contingent charged with training the fledgling Indisclosednean navy. Hailing from a small town in the Franconia region in Germany, he and his daughter hold dual Indisclosednean and German citizenships. They both live in Hoonoisweir.

Vanessa Armstrong-Beaumont Chairwoman-Elect, Chamber of Commerce of Indisclosednia CEO, Armstrong Holdings, LLC,

Hailing from New Orleans, U.S.A, Ms. Armstrong-Beaumont is a longtime entrepreneur. Her business incubator company is the latest in a long line of successful entrepreneurial and investment ventures. She is a vocal advocate of racial and gender equality, responsible business, and corporate social responsibility. A resident foreigner holding dual French and U.S. citizenship, she lives with her husband and daughter in Baywood City.

Jeremiah Olmstead Chief Pastor, First Ecumenical Church of Baywood

The son of the country’s first Prime Minister John Olmstead, Pastor Jerry forewent politics and business and became a man of the church. He is a staunch advocate of Christian environmentalism. He believes in respecting the works of God through responsible ecological stewardship and sustainable low-impact development. A native-born Indisclosednean of part Inuit descent, he lives with his wife and two children in the suburbs of Baywood City.

Margaret Willoughby-Penderghast Representative, Historical and Cultural Society of Indisclosednia

Ms. Willoughby-Penderghast is a longtime citizen hailing from Liverpool, U.K. Of South Asian descent herself, she has played a key role in chronicling the history of the South Asian communities in Indisclosednia. She works as a school teacher at the Charles Darwin Community School near her residence in Hoonoisweir. She and her husband, also a historian, are among the founding members of the Historical and Cultural Society. She is bisexual.

Tanner Ashford Representative, Expatriate Business Association

A wealthy angel investor, environmental advocate, and motivational speaker from Los Angeles, U.S.A., Mr. Ashford has a stake in several new business ventures sprouting in the country. His main focus is to create a flourishing tech ecosystem to Indisclosednia. Although not a resident himself, he is a constant visitor and rents an exclusive room in the suites at the Fritz-Karloff Hotel at the Baywood Waterfront. His daughter, a resident, lives and works nearby.

Keith Wesley Horowitz Student, Gregor Mendel Academy of the Arts and Sciences

Keith plays for the school’s soccer team and is an active member of both theatre and audio-visual clubs. He specializes in working complex audiovisual equipment, though he is also skilled in fixing other machines. In his off-days, he lends his expertise to the Navy as a mechanic for college credit. A resident foreigner, he was raised in Dublin, Ireland, and holds both U.S. and Irish citizenship. He lives with his father in Baywood.

Akira Ichiro Student, Gregor Mendel Academy of the Arts and Sciences

Aspiring scientist and martial artist Akira works part-time as a kendo instructor in her grandfather’s dojo in Baywood. She is a member of the audio-visual club and specializes in dronework, architectural photography, and motion cinematography. She is also one of the founding members of an informal martial arts club in her school. A citizen, she lives with her parents, maternal grandparents, and little brother. Her family hails from Tokyo, Japan.

Conrad Ogilvy Tippett Student, Gregor Mendel Academy of the Arts and Sciences

Conrad is a natural entrepreneur and is one of the stallholders at the student-organized Friday swap-meets at Mendel Academy. He is an avid model-maker known for building intricate and lifelike model cities, which he lends to his fellows at the audio-visual club as part of their film productions. He became a citizen just a few years ago alongside his parents and two brothers. Hailing from Chicago, U.S.A., they’ve since settled down in Baywood.

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Infrastructure

By the Government of Indisclosednia

Indisclosednia is a tiny nation that’s constantly on the move. People and goods move to and fro the island’s ports, roads, and railways on a daily basis. Ensuring everyone’s timely arrival lies at the heart of the Indisclosednean economy.

For a country its size, Indisclosednia has had intensive infrastructure development, investments made to fully leverage the fledgling nation’s natural wealth. Since the country’s inception, infrastructure was of tantamount importance.

Road Transport

Motor vehicles and pedestrian foot travel are the primary means of travel within Indisclosednia. All the major settlements within the Main Island are linked together through two main thoroughfares: the annular highway and the Balder Highway. The chief towns of Hoonoisweir and Baywood are planned cities, with central districts mapped around the convergence of North-South axes and dotted with parks and plazas.

As the name suggests, the Annular Highway is a four-lane highway that goes around the main island. Found inland, this large ring road connects all three of the country’s largest settlements. A fork in the Annular highway connects with Hoonoisweir’s port area, allowing trucks to bring in goods and services to and from the country. Similar ring roads have been built around the other primary islands.

The main forms of public mass transit in the islands are the busses. Bus lines mainly provide efficient city and inter-city travel for residents. A few bus lines, which board ferries, also provide a relatively easy way to commute between islands. Only a few bus lines cater to tourists. Taxis and ride-shares are what most transients and tourists prefer

The Railway

The country’s rail system was developed to cater to the needs of the island’s mining and cash crop industries. Today, it is still the primary means of heavy logistics. Although a passenger rail system exists, it is heavily concentrated on the inner cities.

Air Travel

Most tourists arrive to Indisclosednia through the International Airport in Hoonoisweir. A few other air strips are available for private use within the main island. The Defence Corps has a scant number of air fields within the three primary islands and the atolls. Because the Air Force comprises mainly of amphibious planes, these airfields aren't very large.

Amphibious planes are a common sight. Most of those seen are rentals that can be chartered by residents and tourists alike.

Maritime Travel

Cruise ships and other luxury boats still dock at port of Hoonoisweir. Although the majority of tourists arrive by air, a cruise is still said to be the best way to enjoy our country.

The country has relied on aquatic transportation since the first settlers arrived. Its efficient docks and ferry system were among the first things built and receive priority funding to keep it at the cutting edge. International freighters are a common sight within the country's waters. They are the country’s primary connection the global economy.

Boats are also used for fun. The upper crust maintain several marinas near Baywood. Yachts do make a much better sight on off the water's horizon than oil platforms, right? Don't have your own yacht or motorboat? You can always rent or charter one!

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Arts and Culture

By Vanessa Armstrong-Beaumont and Margaret Willoughby-Penderghast

Indisclosednia as a nation is not old. Unlike most of the countries in the region, which had been populated in some form for several centuries prior to European contact, the islands that now made up Indisclosednia were first settled in 1983 by the passengers and crew of a cruise ship. The country’s subsequent culture was thus made up of whatever they and other settlers brought with them, and it shows.

A Celebration of Diversity

Because it was formed from multiple nationalities coming together to settle a previously uninhabited island, the country takes immense pride in its multicultural heritage. Indisclosedneans believe in adding to the tapestry as part of a community-building endeavor. People of all national backgrounds are encouraged to participate in many cultural festivals held by specific communities throughout the year.

One museum, the Baywood Cultural Center, has taken cues from the nationality classrooms in the University of Pittsburgh. The Center’s cultural heritage rooms are spread out across the complex. While most are housed in rooms in the three main buildings, others are represented by small pavilion structures and gardens within the grounds.  

The design of these spaces varied in their complexity. The largest communities often donate enough resources and artifacts to create an elaborate display of their country’s architecture within their designated room. Smaller communities, meanwhile, prefer handcrafted and personally curated exhibits to represent their national heritage.

Expressions of Faith

Key religious buildings simultaneously serve as cultural centers and museums for the many religious communities in the country and are identifiable by their characteristic architectural styles.

Some of the most noteworthy religious buildings in the country include the following:

The First Ecumenical Church of Hoonoisweir and Center for Christian Arts and Culture: Built in the Gothic Revival style, this building is colloquially known as Hoonoisweir Cathedral.

The Baywood Saivam Temple: This building is the largest Hindu place of worship in the country. Its most notable feature is the impressive gopuram or entrance tower built in the Dravidian style.

The First Ecumenical Church of Baywood: This neo-futurist gathering hall is roughly in the shape of a barrel wave. It stands as one of the most energy-efficient modern buildings in the country.

The Mount Balder Jewish Community Center: An understated yet elegant cubist building, this modest community center houses a synagogue for the Jewish communities in Hoonoisweir and Baywood.

The South Pacific Community Masjid: This impressive Mughal-inspired mosque in Western Baywood was sponsored by the South Asian Muslim community. Its gardens are open to the public.

The Baywood Cultural Center Complex: The Cultural Center’s gardens various small shrines and temples built in several regional styles that function as religious buildings. The Arabian heritage exhibit also leads to a west-facing room that also serves as a mosque for the East Baywood Muslim community.

Youthful Endeavours

Indisclosednia has a thriving amateur arts, photography, and budget independent filmmaker community. Student-led projects are leading the charge for this flourishing independent art scene.

Schools in Baywood and Hoonoisweir encourage their students to excel in the arts. Their programs often add a practical touch to their arts programs that encourages students to develop skills for careers in the creative fields. Some schools, like our partner Mendel Academy, have robust arts programs that place students in professional settings matching those of collegiate programs.

Viewers can expect high production standards for many projects and student productions.  

Careers in the Arts

The graduates of previous classes have already formed several artist collectives in Baywood. The performing arts collectives gather in The Narrows, a converted former warehouse area in Baywood. A hipster visual arts community, meanwhile, has built their creative ecosystem close to the factory district in Hoonoisweir.

While others aspire for careers outside the country, a few have lofty ideals of forming flourishing design and creatives ecosystems to cater to the domestic market and abroad. Opportunities for mainstream success are few but adequate. The Government and the Chamber of Commerce are working with several local artist collectives and international studios to bring big budget productions to the islands.

Freelance photography is a common side job in the urbanized south of the country. Tourists can often hire a local amateur photographer to take excellent shots with them throughout their trip.

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A still life drawn by my daughter Patricia of items she carries along her backpack. She, like myself,is an avid artist whose main medium is pencil and ink. As you can see, she is also an avid amateur photographer.

- Capt. J.T. Kurt

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Natural Disasters

By Akira Ichiro

Things are not always so serene in the republic of Indisclosednia. Even with the best precautions, there lies a possibility for many catastrophic natural and artificial events that can lead to widespread property damage and loss of life.

We can never truly know when a natural disaster would strike. Awareness and education is our first and best line of defense. Knowing what to do in the event of an emergency can often spell the difference between life and death. Disaster preparedness education is critical. Citizens, resident foreigners and transient visitors are encouraged to take it to heart and comply.

Consult a seasoned professional or local government representatives for more information on disaster safety and preparedness.  

Flash Floods

Flash floods are one of the few disasters of human origin. Although some floods are expected in riverine areas, today’s flash floods likely to take place in denuded areas that have experienced deforestation. They are common during the monsoon, where rains are more frequent.

Reforestation efforts, coupled with the shift toward fruit tree production in river areas, have helped drastically reduce the likelihood of flash floods in the main island. The dangers of flash floods remain a lingering fear during the monsoon. During severe rainstorms, take heed of flash flood warnings and move to higher ground or to the designated flood evacuation centers in your community.

Tropical Cyclones

Cyclones bring with them a broad array of dangers. Gale-force winds can easily topple trees and power lines. Airborne debris can also claim lives. Even when the country is not in the direct path of a tropical storm, the winds from a surrounding cyclone can still cause immense rainstorms, powerful winds, and storm surges.

Residents are advised to stay indoors during storm signals and leave only when advised to move to an evacuation center or compelled to do so by floodwater. Residents in the coast are encouraged to evacuate on the event of an Intensity 1 storm signal. All flights and water travel are cancelled during a storm.

Earthquakes and Tsunamis

Indisclosednia emerged from a chain of underwater volcanoes and is part of the planet’s most tectonically active region, the Pacific Ring of Fire. Earthquakes are thus very likely occurrences, as devastating as they are hard to predict. They bring two major risks to the islands’ inhabitants, the first being the obvious destruction that a major earthquake could cause in buildings and infrastructure.

In the event of an earthquake, individuals are advised to seek shelter in sturdy objects such as tables until the shaking stops, taking care to avoid falling debris. Water mains and electric lines should be immediately turned off not long after. People outdoors should stay in the open and drop to the ground.

Building ordinances in Indisclosednia demand compliance to earthquake resistance and retrofitting protocols to prevent and minimize structural damage to the buildings.  

The second danger brought by earthquakes are tsunamis. Although construed as a giant wave in popular culture, they rarely take on such an appearance. Frequently, they appear to resemble a large wave that does not stop at the shore, pushing further and further inland like a rapidly rising tide.  

Our neighboring countries are on call to provide us with earthquake data specifically to raise potential tremor and tsunami warnings. Once a tsunami warning is raised, everyone on the coasts must flee to higher ground.

Wildfires

The few dry woodlands remaining have containable wildfires as a feature; they are a part of the forest’s natural cycles and do very minor damage when allowed to play out.  However, out-of-control fires can threaten human lives and property and put sensitive ecosystems out of balance.  

Tropical moist forests are exceptionally vulnerable to damage during unplanned fire. In addition to causing massive damage, unplanned fires eventually encourage the growth of flammable vegetation in rainforest regions, which could lead to more devastating fires in the future.

Hikers and plantation workers are encouraged by the Resource Authority and Rainforest Patrol to follow the extensive code on fire safety. Natural fires are allowed to run their course to prevent the growth of flammable underbrush, and controlled burning is sometimes authorized to mimic natural fires when none have taken place.

Volcanism

The islands of Indisclosedia are volcanic in origin, and the main island constitutes the voluminous cone of Mount Balder. Geologic evidence strongly suggests that the islands experienced its last major eruption in the 1500s, which although magnitudes smaller than the eruption of Krakatoa more than 300 years later, was no less cataclysmic on a local, completely sterilizing the entire main archipelago.

We do not know if Mount Balder is active.

Current data suggests that Mount Balder is likely dormant. Data reveals no detectable seismic activity. All extant lava flows are eroded, indicating that they have been present for centuries. No hot springs are known in the island.

Although the inactivity of the volcano was among the island’s many draws, there has been no official guarantee of the volcano’s long-term dormancy by seismologists. The Indisclosednean government works with both local and international experts to monitor the tectonic activity of the island.

A volcanic eruption brings with it various dangers, including lava flows or pyroclastic flows (it is currently unclear which is more likely), fires, earthquakes, mud pools, lahar, and the risk of tsunamis. In the event of a major volcanic eruption, localized mandatory evacuations are in immediate effect. The danger of a truly cataclysmic eruption, especially one that would threaten to sterilize the islands again, will enforce a mandatory evacuation of all human and captive animal life in the country.

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Weather and Climate

By Keith W. Horowitz and Akira Ichiro

The rich, stark blue of the mid-morning sky characterizes the main climatic pattern in Indisclosednia.

In most coastal areas, the latter half of the year is composed of warm warm and breezy sunny days with maybe a few showers in the afternoon. The pleasant everyday weather combined with the white sand beaches is the main tourist draw to the island. The best time of year to visit is between early December through early March, where sunny, breezy weather predominates.

A cool season is experienced some time between March and August, often enough to cause frost in the mountainous regions between June and July. September and October heralds the the monsoon, a shift in the winds that lead to torrential downpours. Occasionally, the islands are hit by cyclones.

Living with the weather

Rain is a constant part of life in Indisclosednia. People can set their watches to the mid-year afternoon showers and, over time, it becomes a habit to just bring an umbrella every day.

The minor climate difference between the north and south of the country is sufficient to create two different economic communities between them. The northern region around Arboria is dominated by fruit and sugar cane plantations, which take advantage of the moist climate and fertile volcanic soil to boost production. The planting season frequently takes place on the eve of the monsoon. 

The rains are so predictable that sometimes you don’t even need a watch. If it rains, it’s 4 o’clock.

The predominantly sunny southern areas on the other side of the main island, meanwhile, are the island’s main centres for tourism. Peak tourist season takes place during the later summer months that are defined by the absence of afternoon rain showers, and tourists crowd the leisure facilities during that time. Locals and resident aliens become the primary customers of the leisure industry after peak season, taking care to avoid setting activities in the late afternoon.

Cyclones are immensely destructive. Emergency precautions are raised even when the country itself is not in the direct path of a nearby storm.

Climate

Most of the southern half of the island experiences a tropical monsoon climate as described in the Köppen–Geiger system. The showers become infrequent to the point of occasional absence in the early half of the year during the dry season. They become an everyday occurrence during the onset of the monsoon season.

The northern forests close to the mountain have been described as having an equatorial microclimate. Mild to moderate rainfall is constant. It is thought that Mount Balder serves as a rain shadow, creating a slightly drier climate on the southern regions. 

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Fun and Entertainment

By Keith W. Horowitz

Cheesy brochures tout Indisclosednia as a perpetual party and adventure archipelago on the South Pacific. “Fun” is something almost synonymous with this sunny slice of paradise. If it sounds touristy, it’s because it is. Tourism’s the country’s biggest industry, and it shows: the crowds swell at tourist season in summer.

There is a kernel of truth in the stereotype. Given half the chance, locals really can be as laid-back and leisurely as the brochures suggest.

Seasonal fun

The seasons, however, play a role in exactly how we spend our leisure time.

For most of the southern summer, we keep ourselves entertained in indoor venues with air conditioning. We leave the mostly outdoor tourist destinations to the tourists on holiday. And while it’s true that we tend to pass on the tourist spots for most of the summer (we couldn’t if we wanted to), we don’t live our lives around a holiday spot without getting in on the action.

The end of the tourist season means that we’ve the resorts and destinations mostly to ourselves. To cope with the decline in business, venues start offering local discounts aplenty.

However, we’re left with the small window for summertime fun before monsoon season. The afternoon showers can quickly put the kibosh on any fun outdoor activity after 3 o’clock. The cool season is often sunny enough that many people schedule outdoor activities early in the day.

Indoors

Summer is the season where we go indoors. Shopaholics prowl the malls. Adolescents and children flock to the gaming arcades. Gamers host LAN parties in Internet cafes. Middle-aged adults hold bowling tournaments. Groups of friends take pot-shots of each other at karaoke night. Basically, if it’s air conditioned and weather-protected, we will be there.

People also start flocking to indoor venues every afternoon during the cool season when the rain starts to fall at around 4 P.M.

We don’t have the indoors to ourselves, though. Casinos are some of the indoor places where the crowds are just as likely to be a mix of locals and tourists. Fiscal irresponsibility knows no borders.

In the Water

The water’s great when the sun’s out and we’re never short of things to do in the water. Many Indisclosedneans are fond of water sports, among them parasailing, jet skiing, and kitesurfing. Even locals would often brave the summer heat for a chance to book a rental at peak season. Surfing is a perennial pastime and the presence of the surf community might explain the strong association with the 1990s.

There are also plenty of spectacular snorkelling and scuba diving spots off the coast and away from the cities, including the reefs around the atolls and the shallow sandy seagrass beds in the north lagoon.

Swimming is one activity enjoyed year-round in the country, but again there’s a huge contrast between the locals and the tourists at summertime. Tourists tend to flock to the pools and the beach at peak season, whereas locals huddle in covered community pools. Water parks are a perennial favourite among young people.

Outdoor Relaxation

Like the travelogue says, there’s a multitude of things you can do here for leisure on a warm day.  And this includes “doing nothing.”

Tourists on holiday get lots of R&R, usually while lounging in a poolside beach chair with a tropical drink on hand as tourists normally do. Locals with decks, hammocks, and some culinary skill are usually more than happy to recreate this experience at home—a “staycation” that feels more real than most.

There’s a multitude of nightlife partying in the beaches of East Baywood. Most dance clubs and venues are outdoors; most indoor clubs are the domain of the country’s small rave scene, though they predictably fill up quickly during the cool season. (Heh.)

Sports

Sports are a popular diversion for people of all ages in this country. At heart, Indisclosednia’s a soccer playing nation and few other team sports are anywhere near as prominent. These other sports of note are basketball and beach volleyball.

Golf is more popular among retirees and businesspeople. The country only has one major golf course, the John Olmstead Executive Golf Club.

Adrenaline junkies also get their fix further inland. Thrill-seeking activities like bungee jumping and ziplining are common in the foothills on the outskirts of Baywood. The country has a flourishing extreme sports community that is especially prominent in Baywood, which has a designated skate park, and has left a mark that’s more than just another snide “Heh, ‘90s” comment. Adolescent skaters and cyclists are a common sight in the city in the mid-afternoon.

(Heh. ‘90s.)

Prominent sporting events include the Academy Association Football Cup, the Baywood Beach Volleyball Cup, the extreme-sports oriented Spectrum Games, and the Olmstead Founders Golf Tournament.  

Back to Nature

Much of the country’s natural beauty has been preserved, so nature lovers have a lot to do. Birdwatchers have a plethora of opportunities to look for birds in the mountain rainforests and on the coasts. Hikers can traverse the challenging trail at Mount Balder.

And if you like marine mammals but aren’t keen on the prospect of whale watching in the open sea, there’s a sea lion colony just outside Hoonoisweir; if you’re lucky, you may be able to spot Rascal, a rescued sea lion and the country’s unofficial conservation mascot.

Fishing is a popular activity, and anglers can be seen prowling the lagoons, estuaries, and the open sea for their catch. Many sport fish—marlin, especially—are seasonal and any caught out of season are strictly for catch-and-release; endangered species are strictly for catch and release only. 

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Career Opportunities

Indisclosednia is hiring! The country’s robust economy has weathered through the ups and downs of the world market (somehow). The steady growth coupled with the country’s relative isolation mean that job opportunities abound. 

The country’s immigration offices practice preferential processing for select groups. These include the following:

Honourably discharged former military personnel from countries allied with Indisclosednia

Contract workers due for promotion

Refugees

Workers and investors from neighbouring countries

All immigrants, regardless of origin, are all eligible for citizenship after four years. Documented immigrants to Indisclosednia enjoy not only higher-than-average starting wages but also housing benefits and transportation subsidies. Their arrival to Indisclosednia is also subsidized by the government.

Room for Growth

The industries of Indisclosednia have a growing demand for skilled and unskilled labour. Understaffing is a major problem, exacerbated by its relative isolation. Employee retention is top priority for many large and small companies. Companies and labour unions alike have campaigned to streamline the documented immigration process to ensure that all essential job slots are filled.

The country’s top ten sectors with the most number of career opportunities are as follows:

Tourism and Hospitality

Mining

Food Processing

Oil

Small and Medium Private Enterprises (SMEs)

Construction

Agriculture

Entertainment

Financial Services

Technology

Passporting

Indisclosednia shares its prosperity with its neighbours. It has signed trade agreements with nearby nations that grant their passport holders the automatic privileges of permanent residents. People from these countries do not require the same documentation requirements as those from other countries.

This policy was drawn from a similar system employed within the European Economic Area. In fact, one of the countries that enjoys this privilege is France, albeit with extra stipulations favouring companies and citizens based in French Polynesia and New Caledonia. 

Starting Young

To meet the demands of unskilled labour in the country, adolescent students are allowed to take part-time jobs. This is widely considered a rite of passage for most young residents. A few of the jobs open to teenagers include retail, translation, and social media management.

To prevent abuses, adolescent labour is heavily regulated. Adolescents are not allowed to work in hazardous situations. Industrial businesses that employ minors must not allow them to stray into hazardous areas without adult supervision. No business is allowed to employ teenagers full-time or in jobs outside those permitted by the labour code.

Only during summer break are students allowed to take more than one shift. Teenagers must receive permission from their school principal to work shifts that don’t conflict with their school schedules. They are not allowed to work if their grades are slipping.

All internships in Indisclosednia are paid. Adolescent interns must not be paid significantly lower than their young adult counterparts.

Housing Benefits

One of the key benefits of following the formal emigration and recruitment programs is the ability to seek housing benefits. Indisclosednia’s government works in concert with local developers to supply new arrivals with affordable housing to meet their basic needs. Documented immigration guarantees a residence upon arrival to the country.

Immigrants also have the option to receive a short-term housing stipend that allows them to select their own homes or apartments elsewhere.

Companies registered with the Indisclosednean government are obligated to provide decent lodging to contract workers for the duration of their stay in Indisclosednia.

Legal Immigration Policy

Although Indisclosednia does not follow the same punitive measures for undocumented migrant workers, it does encourage documented immigration to ensure the disbursement of benefits. Most immigration privileges are only available to those who have completed proper procedure. People with no or incomplete documents can still apply for legal immigration while within the country. 

Make sure that the company you apply for is registered with the Indisclosednean government before accepting any offers. Companies not registered with the government often provide substandard housing and employment conditions. Report any suspicious company policies to the Ministry of Internal Affairs, the Chamber of Commerce, or the Labour Union Network.

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Hardware of the National Defence Corps

By Capt. Joseph T. Kurt

Most of the hardware used by Indisclosednia’s defence forces was gifted as part of the various visiting forces agreements the country participated in until 2005. When most of the agreements were in full force, Indislcosednia had played host to the naval vessels of its foreign allies.

In exchange, Indisclosednia received three cruisers. These three ships make up the largest capital vessels in the country’s naval fleet. One of these, the Entrepôt, is the flagship of the navy.

Sketches of the vessels docked in Hoonoisweir-Baywood Naval Complex, c. 2005. The cruiser in the foreground later became the ISS Entrepôt.

Despite this, the majority of Indisclosednia’s naval fleet comprises smaller, lightweight patrol boats. These are used by the NDC’s coast guard, a division of the navy, and are used mainly for search and rescue operations around the coast. 

The majority of military and police action is done by maritime craft known as gunboats. These are midway in size between the capital ships and patrol boats and are frequently are refurbished civilian craft. Although still heavily reminiscent of their counterparts, they have received thicker armoured hulls and military grade fixtures.

These boats are lighter and faster than the cruisers and more durable than the patrol boats. They are frequently used to patrol against illegal activities such as unsanctioned fishing and dredging, whaling, and piracy.

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National Defence and Public Safety

By Capt. Joseph T. Kurt

Indisclosednia has a small standing Armed Forces governed under two departments. The first, the Ministry of Defence and Public Safety (MDPS), responds to internal threats, including criminal elements and natural disasters. The National Defence Corps (NDC), meanwhile, is in charge of defending the islands from external threats.

The headquarters of the MDPS and chief offices of the NDC are held in Fort Ratio on the southern outskirts of the city of Hoonoisweir. The ceremonial headquarters of the NDC is the ISS Entrepôt.

Divisions

The MDPS's chief responsibilities are law, order, and public safety. Their divisions focus on a specific elements of public safety. All departments share response duties during natural disasters.

Public Safety Bureau: Charged with public law enforcement and criminal justice. Holds forensic investigations under strict supervision from the judiciary. Not allowed access to cowboy-themed anything. Total sticks in the mud.

Fire Prevention Bureau: Tasked with preventing and mitigating the spread of fires. Upholds the fire codes and is responsible for fire safety inspections. Voted “sexiest MDPS division” eight years running.

Meteorology Committee: Monitors and responds to threats caused by weather systems such as cyclones, heat waves, and the monsoon. Takes control of responses during adverse weather conditions.

Volcanology–Seismology Committee: Monitors seismic activity (including anything from Mount Balder) and responds to earthquakes and tsunamis.

Rainforest Patrol: Charged with the security of national parks and public lands. Responsible for the prevention of poaching within designated wildlife areas. Won “sexiest MDPS division” exactly once, in 2003.

The NDC responds to the potential for invasion and monitors possible criminal or terrorist activity taking place within the country’s terrestrial and maritime territories.

Indisclosednean Terrestrial Defence Force (ITDF): In charge of defending the country during land-based invasions. Most members are in reserve. Non-reserve members are often stationed as guards to key government buildings and key personnel. Colour me useless.

Indisclosednean Navy: The largest of the NDC divisions and the one that the most active, this division is charged with overseeing the defence of the maritime territories of Indisclosednia. Chief responsibilities not related to maritime invasion include border defence and police action against pirates. Best division. Fight me.

Maritime Frontier Patrol: Known informally as the Atoll Brigade, these officers are drawn from the ITDF and the Navy and are charged with keeping watch over the frontier territories. Advertised as “the second best job in the world” but mostly only ever employs gun-nut introverts.

Visiting Forces Agreements

Until recently, the NDC shared these responsibilities with foreign naval troops stationed in the Hoonoisweir-Baywood Naval Complex. Protection of sovereignty became the sole responsibility of the NDC following the expiration of the last of the Visiting Forces Agreements in 2009.

A key part of these agreements was the exchange of expertise and equipment. The NDC’s volunteer personnel were trained by officers from the visiting allies. In addition, the allies gave weapons and other military surplus hardware to the NDC.

Entire segments of the country’s naval complex were leased to the visiting forces. Warships from the United States Navy, the Royal Navy of the United Kingdom, and French National Navy, and at one point the naval forces of Germany’s Bundeswehr, are just some of those that docked in the country’s largest naval base.

Citizenship Matters

Most of the NDC comprise recent immigrants to the new country. Many of these were former military and naval personnel from allied countries. A majority of NDC service personnel hold dual citizenship, presently allowed by the government as a token of goodwill between the Indisclosednean state and its allies.

Personnel who were honourably discharged from their respective service receive preferential processing when applying for work residency or dual citizenship to Indisclosednia. Many of these naval officers, myself included, eventually accepted the option of citizenship and formally joined the NDC.

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Clothing and Fashion

By the Welcome to Indisclosednia Contributors

Indisclosednia is described by passing observers as a time capsule to the 1990s, where the only major difference with the decade is the presence of high-speed internet. A lot of fashions do seem straight out of 1999. One of our younger contributors, Keith, even dresses remarkably like a member of a boyband from the period.

It is thought that the loose nature of 1990s clothing was easily adaptable to the warm weather of the island.

Keith takes the whole “boyband kid” gag in good humour. He does agree that he has this “pop balladeer” thing going on.

Manual Labor

The weather has been a prominent influence in the dress codes established for laborers. Besides reflectorized safety vests, outdoor workers (such as those in construction and agriculture) are universally required to wear both hats and light, long-sleeved clothing to prevent sunburns.

Indoor workers, who frequently work in more climate controlled areas tend to wear collared shirts. Jeans are a standard for all workers and are preferred even by management.

Business and Formal

Most entrepreneurs and middle management prefer business casual. Long pants such as jeans are standard, while shorts are considered a faux pas for all business owners and employees during work hours unless they largely work outdoors.

Standard corporate clothing is the norm for most office jobs and in government offices. For many companies, blazers are a standard part of the dress code, but are only required to be worn indoors. Workers on break can opt to leave their blazers when eating lunch outside.

Typical western formalwear is standard practice in formal gatherings. People from diverse cultural backgrounds are allowed and at times even encouraged to wear their own culture’s approach to formalwear during these gatherings.

Casual

The typical casual wear in Indisclosednia comprises a loose-fitting shirt (and either t-shrirts and button-downs) and jeans or cargos, ideal for keeping cool in the warm weather. Although most people prefer short-sleeved shirts, others also wear long-sleeved varieties to prevent overexposure and sunburns. Hats are a common accessory, again as a defense against the midday sun.

Casual clothing that follows a dress code is standard in many schools across the country. Currently, no school has implemented a uniform.

Akira usually wears clothing like this on an everyday basis. She ties her hair in a bun for strenuous outdoor activities, and wears full protective gear when practising kendo.

As if to hammer the time-capsule appearance of the country, people do hold retro parties, though they are frequently themed to the 70s and 80s.

“Hawaiian” shirts are common among tourists but are commonly sold in local stores. Residents, both citizens and transients, avoid wearing them, preferring clothes with geometric patterns such as plaid.

Keith’s cousin Norman comes from a desert country. Naturally, the monsoon is not a season he jibes with. Fortunately, he came prepared.

Cold Weather and Rainy Days

Clothes for cooler weather such as hooded sweatshirts and cardigans are chiefly worn during the southern winter (June to August) and during the monsoon and cyclone seasons. Raincoats and waterproof windcatchers are strongly recommended during the monsoon and cyclone seasons.

Cool weather clothing is not restricted to the monsoon, however. Hipsters, having been observed in the island since late 2009, have been known to wear them out of season to the bafflement of other locals.

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Healthcare

By the Government of Indisclosednia

At present, Indisclosednia employs a single-payer healthcare system for all essential medical treatments, up until and including the cost of care for chronic illness. The country’s healthcare budget is taxpayer-funded, fueled by the massive profits gained from the economic development of the island.

The decision to bring a not-for-profit healthcare system to the islands was issued by parliament in 2001. The decision was unanimous among members of parliament and had the backing of most major industries with the exception of oil, mining, and health insurance.

Citizens and registered resident foreigners are all active contributors to the system and have guaranteed use of the single-payer system. Industries also participate in the system through a flat “insurance charge” incorporated into their taxes.

Despite the nationalisation of healthcare, for-profit medical procedures still exist. Subsidized essential healthcare is offered to medical tourists, as are nonessential cosmetic surgeons. 

Coverage

All essential healthcare services from health checkups to critical life-saving surgical procedures are free in Indisclosednia. All but the most expensive of essential pharmaceutical interventions are available for Indisclosednean residents free of charge. Expensive or rare medications are occasionally unavailable for free, but are subsidized by the government. Consenting adults can participate in subsidized experimental treatments made possible by government

Preventive medicine is the guiding principle of Indisclosednean healthcare. Doctors are strictly advised to recommend antibiotics only when necessary. Public sanitation efforts are under the purview of both the Ministry of Internal Affairs (which manages the country’s Department of Health) and the Ministry of Environmental affairs.

Exceptions

Upon nationalization, the healthcare industry reduced for-profit medical and dental services to procedures deemed “non-essential or optional.” These include largely cosmetic dental procedures and cosmetic plastic surgery.  Although over-the-counter medication is considered “non-essential,” it is still cheaper than the regional average thanks to favorable trade agreements with pharmaceutical firms in India.

Chronic pain management falls partially under the “essential care” umbrella. While diagnoses, surgical interventions, and physical therapy fall are covered under the single-payer system, pharmacologic and palliative care through complementary medicine is only subsidized.

The Wages of Sin

Indisclosednia levies a heavy tax to the following industries known for their association with heavy negative impacts on health and the environment:

Tobacco

Alcohol

Sugar

“Heavy Polluting” industries (including mining and petroleum)

This so-called “sin fee” is used to further fund the healthcare system. The name was coined by its main backers, the association of religious leaders that deemed profiting from health hazards as a “heinous sin” against humanity and the Divine.

In addition, all major industries are subject to a floating “pollutant impact fee.” This can be reduced or increased based on the volume of pollutants they release into the environment without proper treatment. Companies with safe working environments and policies that encourage healthy living are provided with a tax incentive.

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Conrad Tippett and his model city. One of three Mendel Academy AV club members in the Welcome to Indisclosednia civilian panel, he specializes in creating scale models and has used them to great effect in short film productions by him and his group.

The Mendel AV club themselves are skilled at using effective, low-budget movie magic that has come to define the independent cinema scene of Indisclosednia. A heads up. He and Akira celebrated their 17th birthdays on the 16th of June.

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Retro Throwback

By Keith W. Horowitz

Observers have described the islands as a time capsule to the late 1990s. And for the most part, there are several places that do have that look and feel of a suburban North American town in the end of the 20th Century. The ever-present beach and surf culture in Baywood, the country’s largest city, only adds to that impression.

Heh, 90s.

Despite feeling like a throwback to a decade past, the country is undeniably technologically modern, as evidenced by the omnipresence of smartphones and mp3 players. It has had commercially available DSL Internet since 2002 and common wi-fi hotspots in 2005. Today, every open public space has a wi-fi hotspot. Some misguided people say it ruins the retro immersion, but we don’t listen to them.

Video Gaming

Much like the rest of the world, video games are a flourishing business. Among hobbyists, they reflect a significant investment in time and money. Parts stores for computers are a booming business for personal computer gamers, as are repair stores for consoles. Retro console game shops and arcades exist, some themed for the period their games were played in.

Online gaming is one of our connections with the outside world. The young people of Indisclosednia feel less insular when they’re connected with communities from their homelands. That said, largely local game servers also exist that serve mainly local gaming communities. These are tight knit communities that engender a more local identity.

Industrial Education

One thing that does make Indisclosednia truly a retro throwback is its industrial economy. Heavy machines are a big part of literally every industry in the country. Although desk jobs involving computer technology are robust and tech industries encouraged, the majority of the career openings are still in either the major resource industries, manufacturing, or tourism. 

Secondary education in Indisclosednia is centered on applied learning as a result. Electives and extracurricular activities all focus on skills development in the industries Indisclosednean residents can expect to enter. Carpentry, mechanics, cooking, and electric workshops are some of the available fields of study. Most of these count toward jobs in the various local industries.

This isn’t just limited to blue collar professions. Extracurriculars like theatre and audiovisual clubs, meanwhile, act to prepare students for further studies and careers in entertainment both here and abroad. Robotics clubs do double duty for two different sectors. It creates a new generation of tech-savvy students for the tech incubators at Hoonoisweir and a steady source of prospective engineers to fix robots at the canneries.

Monetizing Your Toys

From their teen years, Indisclosednean residents are expected to know the ropes of operating technology for their economic benefit. Starting a simple entry-level career in anything is highly encouraged. One can expect a teenager to receive a prosumer camera on their birthday and start a discount photography service the following year. It certainly does nothing to alleviate the stereotype.

Adolescent developers have found ways to monetize their works. A new AI-run announcer system was developed by students at my school and sold. The prototype, ROSCO, is still used in the school as a public announcement system.

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Food and Cuisine

By Conrad Tippett and Keith W. Horowitz

The Indisclosednean palate is a tale of providence and  pragmatism. In the three decades since the island was first settled, the country developed its own unique flavours based on what had been available. Thus, Indisclosednean cuisine reflects both the country’s resources and the patchwork of cultures that live in it. Local versions of international and regional favourites tend to be subtly different.

A Matter of Supply

Even though much of the crops grown in the country are cash crops, agribusinesses still sell to the local markets. Indisclosednia’s rich farms, ranches, and seas still provide the average Indisclosednean resident with at least 60 percent of their daily meals. 

Why can’t we provide a much higher number? The reason for this is simple, but not in the way you think it is. The main island is small, but also really fertile. Even amateur gardeners can create a bumper crop for their own use in some places. This fertility, however, means nothing if the plants can’t grow in this climate.

There is only a narrow band of land available for agriculture in the highlands. Only a few types of temperate vegetables are grown commercially. While other locally grown temperate vegetables can sometimes be found, these were certainly grown by hobby farmers in their home gardens. These are sold in weekend farmer’s markets. Other temperate crops (apples, wheat, strawberries) aren’t worth growing and are almost always imported, especially since some people’s family recipes have no room for improvising.

There isn’t enough land for massive ranches, either. Even if we do eat all of the meat we raise, that’s still not enough to meet demand. Thus, meat imports.

The Pattern of Meals

Down here, we follow a meal plan comprising at most five meals a day. These are divided into three major meals plus snacks in mid-morning and mid-afternoon. Meals are often three-course affairs with a savory starter, a main dish, and a fruit, pastry, or confection as dessert. 

Morning meals follow the typical ones for several cultures. Eggs are a common staple. In-between meals are lighter affairs and focus on either sandwiches, snack cakes, or fruit. Meat, vegetables, and fish are common choices for lunch and dinner. 

A Matter of Ingredients

Cereal derivatives are a common staple. Rice is a common side dish, as are cornmeal and wheat products. Rice and corn are domestically grown; ergo, many variations replace wheat products with rice or corn. 

Chicken is the most widespread form of animal protein, followed by seafood, lamb, and goat. Although commonly farmed, beef and pork are more readily available in some communities more than others. Christian- and East Asian-majority communities are noted by the commonness of pork, while Hindu-majority communities are distinguished by the absence of beef.

Fruits are a common feature in every Indisclosednean meal. Besides being eaten as is, fruit is also included in many meals as an ingredient. Many meat dishes are marinated in fruit juices. Fruit-and-vegetable sauces are common accoutrements to dishes. In general, fresh fruit is meant for a local market, while canned and candied fruits are meant for export and for the minority of locals too lazy to glaze it themselves.

Beverages

Tea, coffee, and chocolate were the first beverages to be grown commercially in the country. Kola nuts are also grown and are part of the supply chain for soft drinks. It is no surprise, then, that caffeination is a recurring theme in Indisclosednean mid-afternoon meals. Adolescents and young adults alike congregate in cafes and consume large amounts of pearl milk teas and coffee frappes. 

Outside of mornings and the monsoon, people prefer all their drinks cold. This is a product of the tropics and a common habit embraced by everyone except the communities that came from Great Britain and East Asia. 

Cross-Cultural Influences

The desire for cultural rapport has influenced Indisclosednean food culture. The dumpling parties held by non-Christians to accommodate their dietary preferences are one example. What often began as a party idea promoted by vegetarian stores and kosher-halal delis has become a national phenomenon that has attracted members of many faiths.

The parties are especially popular with the vegetarian and vegan communities as it’s an excellent place to test the appeal of new vegetable dishes. Vegan versions of many dishes are commonly served at these parties as food everyone can enjoy. In fact, among the first dishes that gave the party its name are the assortment of vegetable dumplings (momo, gyoza, dimsum, etc.). Vegetarian dumpling recipes are often made specifically for these occasions.

Get Your Drink On

Most wines, spirits, and beers are either imported from elsewhere or rely on foreign imports for production (no barley and not enough grapes, basically). A few exceptions include fruit wines, corn beer, coconut liquors, and rum. Alcoholic beverages are served in most restaurants, resorts, and clubs. Fruity cocktails are popular among tourists and locals alike. The “patriot blends” were based on the cocktail mixes exclusive to the Serenity’s bars. 

The legal drinking age is 18 years. Please drink responsibly and do not drive while intoxicated.