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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@patadechucho
Mindfulness
Its been a few months since July, it has not been easy going. There are days that I wake up and I can feel the anxiety in my hands, numb, foreign and there are days when I wake up and I have realizations about how far I’ve come.
1) I’m sleeping much better, averaging about 5-6 hours straight a night.
2) I’ve sought out help. In college I went through this and largely I got through it without professional help, although I got better, I think one of the reasons I dropped out was because of the symptoms of that first crisis.
3) I’ve meditated 38 hours over the last 4 months. Although it does not seem like a lot, 38 hours of my attention devoted to fostering more harmony in my mind.
4) The voice that tells me to create more distance between a stressful event and my mind is getting a little louder. In the day to day disagreements that I often face as a result of biking to work, I find that although I am giving in to my anger, I feel a resistance in myself to not react the way I usually might. I have to feed the wolf of love in the situations more often.
5) I’ve made amends with people who I’ve hurt unnecessarily.
6) I am more conscious about unnecessarily multitasking. I find peace in doing one thing at a time. This means putting down my phone when I feel bored, commuting, working. Our minds have only so much bandwith, I need to make it count.
Its been awhile
Its been awhile since I had written something in here, I lost my way these last couple of years, I fell away from the person I wanted to be, and yet in these times, I found someone that loves me unconditionally. Luck, fate whatever we choose to call it, I am happy that my path flowed into hers.
Its been about month and half since I started meditation, I month and a half since a panic attack that has my soul battered and bruised. In the beginning, I cried uncontrollably, at the fear triggered by the sudden onset of anxiety, and the realization that I was not ok and that my mind seemed to be spiraling out of control.
Its been a month and half and I happy that I am finally able to sleep, of course even this has not been easy, every night before bed, I try my best to relax both body and mind and to accept and not fight my mind. Sleep is human function that is effortless, you cant will it and if you cant will it than you must either accept that it will come or accept the fact that your are not sleeping because you are still working on somethings.
I needed to start writing again, and decided to quickly jot some of this down, but I have to sign off in order to take care of myself and relax mind and body.
Till tomorrow
Morning Thoughts
I remember reading somewhere that humans organize, react and plan according to think in similes. The article or the radio spoke about the power of simille, the power of being able to say this is like that. Intelligence and the ability to comprehend complicated issues and problems rests in our ability to make these comparisons on the fly. I think that I have always been fearful of this type of thinking for the fear of being reductionist with what I see, but I realize now that great leaps are made through this type of inner recognition of patterns.
He is known only as Case 0408. The remains of a middle-aged male immigrant were discovered in Jim Hogg County, Texas, on Nov. 3, 2009. Six belongings are the only things in the universe that may help identify him: a beat-up sneaker, a size L pullover shirt and hoodie, a ring found sewn into the waistband of his pants, a red and black lucha libre wrestler’s mask, and a stuffed smiley lion.
Case 0408 is one of about a hundred migrants who perish every year in the harsh, sweltering brush country of far South Texas trying to sneak around Border Patrol checkpoints. This is one of 80 cases featured on the website of The Texas Observer, the venerable progressive magazine published in Austin for the past 62 years. The idea is to create a small, searchable database where relatives can go to find photos of personal items associated with their missing loved one — a brother, sister, or son who trekked to el norte, never to be heard from again.
“I don’t feel like I’m stepping over any boundaries,” says Jen Reel, the Observer’s multimedia editor who produced the project, titled I Have a Name. “I hope it serves as an example of what we can do as journalists, how we can take it to the next level of problem-solving.”
Most of the remains featured in I Have a Name were found in mass graves in Sacred Heart Cemetery in the town of Falfurrias in Brooks County. The skeletons had been unceremoniously dumped into plastic trash bags, shopping bags and body bags, or deposited in the dirt of an open grave. A local funeral home was criticized for its disrespectful handling of the relics of the nameless migrants. The human remains and personal items were found by a forensic anthropology team from Baylor University when it exhumed the cemetery in 2014. They are now stored at Texas State University awaiting identification.
In Texas, A Database Of Exhumed Objects Aims To ID Migrants Who Perished
Photos: Courtesy of The Texas Observer
Bremerton, Washington
Prints
Mathematical Model Sheds Light on How the Brain Makes New Memories While Preserving the Old
Columbia scientists have developed a new mathematical model that helps to explain how the human brain’s biological complexity allows it to lay down new memories without wiping out old ones — illustrating how the brain maintains the fidelity of memories for years, decades or even a lifetime. This model could help neuroscientists design more targeted studies of memory, and also spur advances in neuromorphic hardware — powerful computing systems inspired by the human brain.
This work is published online today in Nature Neuroscience.
“The brain is continually receiving, organizing and storing memories. These processes, which have been studied in countless experiments, are so complex that scientists have been developing mathematical models in order to fully understand them,” said Stefano Fusi, PhD, a principal investigator at Columbia’s Mortimer B. Zuckerman Mind Brain Behavior Institute, associate professor of neuroscience at Columbia University Medical Center and the paper’s senior author. “The model that we have developed finally explains why the biology and chemistry underlying memory are so complex — and how this complexity drives the brain’s ability to remember.”
Memories are widely believed to be stored in synapses, tiny structures on the surface of neurons. These synapses act as conduits, transmitting the information housed inside electrical pulses that normally pass from neuron to neuron. In the earliest memory models, the strength of electrical signals that passed through synapses was compared to a volume knob on a stereo; it dialed up to boost (or down to lower) the connection strength between neurons. This allowed for the formation of memories.
These models worked extremely well, as they accounted for enormous memory capacity. But they also posed an intriguing dilemma.
“The problem with a simple, dial-like model of how synapses function was that it was assumed their strength could be dialed up or down indefinitely,” said Dr. Fusi, who is also a member of Columbia’s Center for Theoretical Neuroscience. “But in the real world this can’t happen. Whether it’s the volume knob on a stereo, or any biological system, there has to be a physical limit to how much it could turn.”
When these limits were imposed, the memory capacity of these models collapsed. So Dr. Fusi, in collaboration with fellow Zuckerman Institute investigator Larry Abbott, PhD, an expert in mathematical modeling of the brain, offered an alternative: each synapse is more complex than just one dial, and instead should be described as a system with multiple dials.
In 2005, Drs. Fusi and Abbott published research explaining this idea. They described how different dials (perhaps representing clusters of molecules) within a synapse could operate in tandem to form new memories while protecting old ones. But even that model, the authors later realized, fell short of what they believed the brain — particularly the human brain — could hold.
“We came to realize that the various synaptic components, or dials, not only functioned at different timescales, but were also likely communicating with each other,” said Marcus Benna, PhD, an associate research scientist at Columbia’s Center for Theoretical Neuroscience and the first author of the Nature Neuroscience paper. “Once we added the communication between components to our model, the storage capacity increased by an enormous factor, becoming far more representative of what is achieved inside the living brain.”
Dr. Benna likened the components of this new model to a system of beakers connected to each other through a series of tubes.
“In a set of interconnected beakers, each filled with different amounts of water, the liquid will tend to flow between them such that the water levels become equalized. In our model, the beakers represent the various components within a synapse,” explained Dr. Benna. “Adding liquid to one of the beakers — or removing some of it — represents the encoding of new memories. Over time, the resulting flow of liquid will diffuse across the other beakers, corresponding to the long-term storage of memories.’’
Drs. Benna and Fusi are hopeful that this work can help neuroscientists in the lab, by acting as a theoretical framework to guide future experiments — ultimately leading to a more complete and more detailed characterization of the brain.
“While the synaptic basis of memory is well accepted, in no small part due to the work of Nobel laureate and Zuckerman Institute codirector Dr. Eric Kandel, clarifying how synapses support memories over many years without degradation has been extremely difficult,” said Dr. Abbott. “The work of Drs. Benna and Fusi should serve as a guide for researchers exploring the molecular complexity of the synapse.”
The technological implications of this model are also promising. Dr. Fusi has long been intrigued by neuromorphic hardware, computers that are designed to imitate a biological brain.
“Today, neuromorphic hardware is limited by memory capacity, which can be catastrophically low when these systems are designed to learn autonomously,” said Dr. Fusi. “Creating a better model of synaptic memory could help to solve this problem, speeding up the development of electronic devices that are both compact and energy efficient — and just as powerful as the human brain.”
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I'm letting you go
Their first meeting went swimmingly, but when he asked her to lunch, she brought her boyfriend along.
The literature we enjoy is a reflection of ourselves and if that is the case, I pity those who never read.
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i miss you
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the mindless endless scroll of Instagram and Facebook, and endless parade of images and articles. Images of food, women, panaromas of beaches and mountains, health tips, unsoliciticed advice about finding happiness, people quoting other people, people quoting themselves and on on it goes. I like the emptiness I feel when I am thrust in the middle of fictionalized and romanticized battles, shoot, stab, kill, repeat, we are immortal in our games. My mind is distracted by the movement on the screen, by thecompetition of the game, my inner dialogue silenced, my stream of consciousness reduced to left, right commands that I send my fingers. I like how numb I feel when I binge watch shows, im so busy figuring out the narrtive and narrative devices of a show that I forgot about how my own life is playing out.
God, it feels so fucking good to zone out and the modern age has made it so easy.
And then we have writing, writing without a specific purpose, without reward, writing for the sake of exploring thoughts and ideas, writing as a form of art. When I write I want my writing to be spontaneous, playful, broad strokes on canvas, inspiration taking me whererver it wants me to go, emotion dictating the intensity of my words. Although one must stay true to writing conventions for like art, writing that is too personal looses its universality, its ablity to communicate witht he reader or viewer. Is that a risk that we are willing to take to satify the need for self-expression?
Im addicted to the escapism I find in digtal media and that is why this type of writing is the hardest for me. If a person relishes escapism, the question then becomes what are they trying to escape, what are they running from? Writing is hard, because it makes concrete neboulous thougts and emotions, it forces you to try a dart and pin what your thinking about with a word. I always think about a quote I read from Theodore Dresier, which reads "Words are but vague shadows of what we mean", currently the Oxford dictionary has around 171, 000 entries and yet, no matter how hard I try my emotion though relatable can never truly be understodd by another person. We uses actions as proxies for what love means, for what family means but I can never truly feel how much these words truly mean to you.
Life List
Ill be adding to this but as of today, I swear that before I die I will do these things:
Life List:
1) Watch a sunset in Santorini, Greece while sipping on some red Wine. 2) Climb Mt. Kiliminajaro 3) Climb Mt. Aconcagua 4) Do some skiiing in Swis Alps 5) Visit the lowest point on Earth (Dead Sea, Israel) 6) Visit the ruins in Petra, Jordan. 7) Spend a solid week lounging in Bora Bora, Tahiti
To be continued...
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I stare straight ahead, Trying to find meaning in the swaying of branches, In the soft groan of swaying trunks,
In doesn't escape me that the thoughts induced, By these trees, this view, Are but mirrors,
Look how they sway, They dance, They move, They whisper,
They will say.
And I, What truth do I seek in these autumn woods, Swaying, Moving, Whispering of winter,
What truth do I seek, My being whispers,
I want to stare out there, And see meaning without the weight of definition, Moments without the burden of the past and witout preoccupations of the future,
Creepy or adorable? Researchers at Harvard University have demonstrated the first autonomous, untethered, entirely soft robot: the octobot.
Instead of being controlled by electronics, the robot’s logic board is powered by chemical reactions and fluid passing along tiny channels. Scientist have struggled to create completely soft robots because rigid components like circuit boards, power sources and electronic controls are difficult to replace.
Learn more about the octobot and soft robotics here and see the full study published in Nature here.
Videos Credit: Harvard SEAS/Image Credit Lori Sanders
I’d say this octobot is creepily adorable or adorably creepy. -Emily
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As a boy idolized indifference. Stoicism in the face of adversity, heartbreak and loss. People with poet-hearts can never be truly stoics though, for upbringing and our nature has given us a sensitivity to emotion so profound that one can recognize even the smallest drop of melancholy rippling across an ocean of joy.
Bookshelf in the shape of the USA built by Russian-born architect Andrei Saltykov, living in London.
More creative maps >>