heh. dude.

[pattercakebakersman]

Chekhov’s Gun

Summary: Lemongrab has a bad dream and like all children turns to his mother for comfort. Word count: 2.6K

Also massive thank you to @mikelokison for writing Lemongrab’s nightmare when I was really stuck on it :D

cws (and also spoilers that will impact your reading): child abuse (Gumbald and Pb), neglect, ableist bullying (intentionally triggering sensory issues) and guns. 

Keep reading

[fhinni]

This is one of my favorite Lemongrab fanfics… I’ll reread it from time to time…

[pattercakebakersman]

Thank you for your kind words it's really appreciated :v]

[t4t-lumpygrab]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/65398513/chapters/168297037

'Tree Trunks frowned as she stared up at the now empty washing line. She had most certainly just hung up an old blanket to be aired out, an old blanket that was most certainly missing.' Years ago Tree Trunks had a chance encounter with Lemongrab 1 that could have blossomed into a friendship but didn't. Years later news of his death changes everything.

New fic! First chapter of four has now been uploaded, I will be posting a new chapter every Friday.

[pattercakebakersman]

Visitors

Summary: It's Lemongrab 2's birthday, and Princess Bubblegum has come to visit castle Lemongrab to mourn their death with the sole remaining Earl. But there are many things between them not as easily buried as a corpse, and can the dead ever even be truly put to rest when magic is involved?

FF.net only for now because it has some formatting stuff it will take a while to transfer to tumblr. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14130165/1/Visitors

[pattercakebakersman]

Traveller of the positronic

 Summary: Princess Bubblegum has salvaged what remained of Lemongrab 2′s soul and placed it in a robot body so they can continue their duties as Lemongrab’s companion.

Word count: 1.1K (this is more of a drabble basically nothing happens! I might write a bit more if people want)

“Good riddance. Finally she has gone.” Lemongrab 2 watched Princess Bubblegum leaving from the window. They remembered the last time they saw her before their death, a single pink plait winking out of sight over the black wall of a fortress. At first they’d hoped that maybe despite the apathy she’d always had towards them, she would come back and they would be saved. But days became weeks, and the weeks of darkness stretched out forever. They came to realise in their heart and soul that she would never value them enough to come back for them. To her they were just a toy like all her other creations, and a broken one at that. And broken toys got discarded.   

Or fixed. 

Lemongrab 2 looked down at their new body, turning their hands over and over, listening to the click of the metal joints as they did so. Their entire body was made of a shiny, silvery chrome metal that made all sorts of clacking and scraping sounds as they moved, and they could hear a faint whirring from inside their head, which had to be the sound of them thinking with a brain made out of cogs and wires. The only organic thing they had left was the soul stone in their chest. 

They put a hand over the metal compartment it was kept in. The princess had taken their soul after it was released by death, and placed it in the stone. So now, they could inhabit this body she’d created for them. 

“And what about brother’s soul-” they’d asked in a panic, “-is…is hee?” The thought of having to see him again was so frightening. He would be so angry at them… Lemongrab 1 had never wanted to die, and especially not at the hand of someone he viewed as miles beneath him. It had taken them a long time to realise it, but they’d never really been a person in his eyes. Just a plaything. And when his plaything didn’t do what he wanted, he did what any petulant child would do and smashed it into pieces. 

“Your brother is gone.” She said it softly, as if she was breaking sad news to them. But they’d been overjoyed. He was gone! He’d never hurt them again! Gone! They were free! And then they had felt so, so awful for feeling that way. He was-had been, their brother. If it wasn’t for him, they wouldn’t even be alive. They’d never see his face, or hear his voice, or know if things would ever get better between them. They’d killed him. They were all alone now. It was nothing to be happy about. 

They looked over at the figure sat completely still in a chair in the middle of the room. His back was to them, so they could only see the network of stitches going across his back. 

“I suppose it is just the two of us, hm.” They squatted slightly in front of the slumped over, deadened lemon in front of them. His head was lolling over without any strength to hold it up, and his eyes were glazed, staring at them aimlessly. They cocked their head to the side with a robotic whirr and studied his face, searching his stitched together skin and sewn up lips for a flicker of familiarity, for the last person they wanted to see. But the only thing they saw was a reanimated corpse with no mind of its own. Or at least not yet. 

“Mee…” the thing crooned to itself, “Wee… wee…” it let out a groan. “I. Hee… Iiii… Iii…”

“Tell me about it.” They muttered. So this was it then. They were stuck with babysitting yet another Lemongrab, as if that hadn’t gone terribly enough the last time. 

They backed away from the listless figure. Yes. It had gone badly last time. But they weren’t going to let themselves get hurt this time. 

“Lemonhope…” they didn’t take their eyes off the figure, “are you still there my precious?”

“Yes.” came a small voice from the doorway. Lemonhope’s cut had been bandaged by Finn, and the Princess had offered Lemonhope a chance to stay in the earldom as a champion. She wanted him to be a knight. She thought he was a hero. But they’d looked at him from the work table they were lying on and seen who Lemonhope really was: a very small boy who’d just killed his father. 

He’d killed them too. 

“Hope. Come here.”

Lemonhope didn’t budge. “What are you going to do to me?”

They turned to look at him. “I will not hurt thee… very well, stay where you are.” They crouched down in front of him and tried to smile, but the metal mouth didn’t obey them. It was frozen in an expression of permanent apathy. “You did what had to beee done. I know it was unpleasant, but we are all free now.”

Lemonhope didn’t look any happier. “You are free now.” They added. 

“I will never be free.” said Lemonhope. 

They didn’t disagree with him. “You can stay in the earldom as long as you want- not as a champion but as a lemon. I will not force pretenses on yoouu. And… as much as I long for you to stay, I suspect you do not share myyy desire.” 

Lemonhope shook his head. “I don’t want to stay here. I want to have adventures and do stuff, I’ll come back when I’m bored. Which will probably be in a thousand years.” he shrugged. 

They would have smiled if they could. “I see. But until then, your cut needs to be taken care of.” 

“Yes. Is he going to stay like that forever?” Lemonhope asked. They glanced over their shoulder at the body and then looked back. 

“The princess said his brain and body will reknit and he will be a whole lemon, not just two halves. But when that will be… I cannot say.” They also had no idea what kind of person would emerge from the merging of two minds and two memories. “I shall be the sole leader for now.” 

It was an overwhelming thought. Their brother had never allowed them to handle the family finances and expenses - all the record books and bank letters were locked away in his room, and politically they never had a say in how he ran things. They were both earls on paper but in reality he was created in a special lab and engineered to be the heir of the candy kingdom, he’s actually briefly ruled over it, he had royal blood in his veins. They’d been created in a pantry and the only thing they had in their veins was lemonade. But now they had nothing at all, just wires. Could they really take his place? 

Did they even want to? 

They slid a hand under the other Lemongrab’s armpit and hoisted him to his paralysed feet. “Help me lead him to theeee guestroom.”

[pattercakebakersman]

Ebbs and Flows

Lemon Jon has died, causing Lemongrab 2 to come face to face with mortality for the first time in their short life. Grief and guilt stricken they begin to question what it means to create life.

word count: 1.3 K Cws: existenialism, cannibalism, self starvation and adverse effects, there’s a scene set in a nightmare that features exposed organs. FF.net link

"Father?" 

"Hm."

The lemon child at the foot of their bead frowned at them, wrinkling up their long nose. "What is wrong with you?" 

Lemongrab blinked and weakley raised their hand to touch their forehead, which was wet with feverish sweat. "I believe I am… ill."

"Ill?" 

The newly created lemon child hadn't heard of the concept before. Lemongrab distantly remembered how much they hadn't known once. They'd been so shocked when they fell and hurt themselves for the first time, they hadn't realized that being in their body could feel so bad. They'd wondered if their glob had made some sort of mistake, or if she'd created them to be able to feel this pain. And if so why? Why create beings to let them suffer? It was a big question for one lemon to think about. 

Their child looked at them with a mixture of curiosity and fear. They'd never seen their parent with their eyes half open, panting raspy breaths that were filling the room with the sickly smell of disease as whatever was wrong with their body leaked out of them. They seemed to understand instinctively not to come close, and stayed at the foot of the bed. 

Lemongrab coughed, "Water. Water." They rasped. "My brother…" 

The child ran out of the room and returned with the older Lemongrab. He had a cloth pressed over his mouth and nostrils, and was wearing rubber gloves. 

He pushed a thermometer in their mouth and examined their eyes. 

"Ah, I seeeee." "It is not contagious." 

"Really?" 

"Yes Yes. Yoouu have over exerted yourself and weakened your body. You are sick! Siiick but only hm, temporarilyyyyyy.” He looked at the unwanted bowl of lemon jons by their bed. “Whyyyy do you… not eat theee lemon jons?" 

"It is our son's body.” The replied weakly, “Ngh Heee dissolved the bonds uniting him. But I am still bound to my boy." 

Their brother frowned at them. "LemonJon desired that we should feast on his corpse." 

"I was his glob. Why could Iiiii not stop him dying? If I can create life-” They raised their hands and looked at their yellow palms, “-why can I not keep it?"

Their brother sat next to them on the bed and patted their forehead with slow, steady pats.

"It is for Death toooo decide these things.” he explained as gently as he could, “Only aaaa glob among globs can control theeee ebb and flow of living, yes. Yes tis not fooooor us who dwell in the valley of light to decide who shall leave us. Or indeed when." 

He picked up a lemon jon and pressed it against their lips.

They pushed his hand away. "Brother…" 

"Come. Eat." 

"No." 

Lemongrab pressed harder with a snarl but they didn’t open their mouth, even though he was hurting them. "Nnngh dearest brother if you do not eat you will grow frailer! Your body must replenish its lemonyyy essence to rebuild itself. If unreplenished you shall surely perish!”

He tried to force feed them again but they didn’t accept it, and he gave up. He sat there turning the piece of candy over and over in his hand, staring at their wall with a sad expression.  

"Brother…” they asked quietly. “What if…. What if theee reason LemonJon died is because WEEEE did something wrong?" 

"What?" 

"If we had not… invaded the kingdom he would have sacrificed himself. Weeeeeee did not give by taking… we simply took.” They closed their eyes. “He is gone." 

Their brother placed the lemon jon in their hand. "LemonJon is here, he has given himself to us and our bellies. Taken his life and given us food." 

"If we had not taken so much food… if we did not make so many children weeee could have fed them and Jon would be here.” They frowned in confusion at the thoughts crowding in their head. It was all so confusing. “But then theeee unmade children would not be here. If we fed them some would not exist, but our actions led toooo unexistence? Brother what does it mean? Are we not globs?" 

"We are creators?" He replied, unsure. 

"Creators and destroyers." They said darkly, and let the lemon jon he’d handed them fall to the floor.

"Eat." He commanded. 

"I cannot." 

"Brother…"

They opened their eyes and looked at him. They were tired and their half closed eyes had lost their usual spark. "I am unsure if I should break the bonds uniting me and join my boy… what if our actions lead to more suffering?" 

"Lemongrab. Why are you so sad?" their brother asked, unable to understand them anymore. 

"Because my son is dead." 

"He is here?” He held out a handfull of lemon jons to them. “Theeeese lemon jons are him. He gave them so we may take them intooo our bodies. They are symbols of us, of our bond with him. The one that could not be broken." 

"I cannot eat it. I am tired." 

They closed their eyes and felt their brothers hand press down on their forehead as they drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Lemongrab slept uneasily. In their dream they were in a black night that stretched on for miles, standing on the cold surface of a mirror. 

Lemonjons huge organs were scattered around them, with the fleshy veins and other tubes feeding into the floor. They approached his beating heart and stood in front of it, watching the pulsating body part spasm as it pumped lemon juice down into the ground. 

“What is this?”

Lemongrab put a hand over their chest and felt their own heart beat. Fix their hearts… Their hearts are fine they’re just like this… 

Just like what? Selfish? Different? Worse? Why was Lemonjon dead while they were still alive? Was it all the design of their creator? After all she had made them like this, if anyone had. So had they failed in creating Lemonjon? Had they created his heart capable of feeling things that made him end his life, and in doing so doomed him? 

They looked up at the organ they and their brother had constructed and couldn’t find a fault with it. 

A hole opened up under all the organs and they feel down through the glass. Lemongrab reached out to grab hold of part of Lemonjon but there was nothing to hold on to, the barrier at their feet stopped their hands. They could only watch him fall down, down, down into dark oblivion. Where did lemons go when they died? 

They opened their eyes a crack because someone was tugging at their uniform. Everything was blurry and their empty stomach that had long since caved in on itself was on fire. Before they had felt light headed from the starvation, now it just hurt. 

They wanted to speak but felt too weak to do it. “I must beee dying…” they thought to themselves, “It is my time. I have decided on death’s behalf. I truly am a glob.” 

From where they were lying on their side, they could see the same lemon child who’d come to visit them earlier that day. But there was something different about them. They squinted and realised that they had cut their nose off. 

Something sweet and sour was pushed between their lips and they swallowed painfully, feeling the lump go through them. Then another chunk was inserted, and they swallowed that too. Piece by piece their child fed them their severed nose until they felt strong enough to sit up. 

“You have sacrificed for me. You have given… are you Lemonjon?”

The lemon child shrugged. 

Lemongrab cupped their face with their hands and examined the dimple where their nose had once been. They let go and felt along their own nose for the middle part, then pulled until they snapped it in half, holding the yellow cone in their hands. 

They pushed it into the hole in their face until they felt their nose attach to them. 

“I have given and taken.” They said, “I am also Lemonjon now.” 

Their brother had left a bowl of lemon jons by their bed, and they feebly pulled it towards them. 

“This is our body.” They said, and began to eat.

[dontbeanassharry-deactivated201]

What’s my writing trademark?

I’ve seen this for art, but what about my writing makes you go, “ah, that’s a _____ production”?

[pattercakebakersman]

I would like to do some more fanfic reqs b4 finishing the second half of my current multichapter project btw! Currently I have none :(

[t4t-lumpygrab]

Fanfic Drabble Requests (Rough FAQ I will update as time goes on)

ID: screenshot of Lemongrab 1 from Adventure Time smiling and punching the air with his left fist. ED. 

Current status: Requests open

Examples of requests I’ve done so far: 

Fluff:

LSP and Lemongrab play minecraft (770 words)

LSP and Lemongrab pick a movie to watch (fluff with minor hurt/comfort elements, 705 words) 

Lemongrab and Treetrunks hang out (1600 words) 

Hurt/comfort: 

Lemongrab experiences fatigue and LSP looks after him (1440 words) 

Lemongrab deals with phantom pain and is helped by a lemon subject (hurt/comfort, 1000 words)

Fern and Lemongrab hanging out (mild hurt/comfort 1200 words)

General Rules:

-I work to a word limit of 500 words minimum and 1000 words maximum. (But I may go over if I feel like it this is fun for me)

-Please request a maximum of 1 fic at a time per person! Otherwise Charlie will overheat like a computer and die. 

-If requesting use the word please. I don’t want people to just send a list of what they want y’know! It feels a lil rude even if it’s unintentional. 

-So I am a Lemongrab/LSP obsessive first and a human second, so I’m gonna limit requests to stuff that features these two (Lemon people also fine though I love those lil creatures). This doesn’t mean you can’t request additional characters like Fern and Marceline, but the blorbos are mandatory. 

-I expect some sort of interaction after I post a request - :youtuber voice: please reply or reblog! (asks and dms also fine!) Thank you :)

Will Do! 

-Fluff, hurt/comfort, and angst. 

-Physical affection like hugs and kisses :) 

-Aus! Gonna try my hand at these 

-Gore: cannibalisms, amputation, wounds, body horror, basically anything that appears in the show. Though I ask people lean on the lighter side and not request very heavy gore. Plus I will probably shy away from graphic descriptions for fear of overstepping. If people are requesting gore feel free to list any limits you have! Like for example, someone might request a character getting injured and bleeding but not want any organ damage or bone exposure. Bit of a specific example but it’s to illustrate what I mean, though I will be erring on the side of caution. Also see Won’t Do for my personal limits.  

-Abusive dynamics: So I’ve written for lg1 and 2 before that’s basically what I mean! Those guys are fucked up but they also fascinate me… I guess in terms of potentially upsetting content, the same rules apply as for gore! Feel free to list any limits.

Won’t Do! 

-self inflicted wounds (self harm) and suicide, and character death that doesn’t happen in the show. (like lg1 and 2 being dead is fine but lg3 dying is no)  

-Genderbends (this is a Fionna and Cake hate zone sorry) 

-Crossovers. I’ve never rlly understood the appeal sorry. 

-I view Lemongrab 1 to be a villain and an abuser, so if I get a request like “please write him to not be abusive” I won’t do it because those aspects of his character are intrinsic to who he is! You’d have to change his entire life story, family and personal history, personality and values - basically, you’d have to create a completely different character. One which is, in my opinion, less interesting and a sanitised version of a character who can be used to explore some truly interesting horror themes. This isn’t to say that I don’t think he loves his family, and that he hasn’t been nice to them ever and spent time with them, but if I do get requests for more light hearted stuff I will probably drop hints that he sucks. 

-I guess elaborate/long things? I’m working to a 1000 word limit so stuff that has plot aside from just “1 thing happens” won’t fit my set word count.

-Sexual things. This goes without saying but no incest or fetish baiting. Don’t think I won’t notice we can all tell. 

-I obviously retain the right to refuse any request! 

How to request: 

You can reply to this post, or send an ask! Just keep in mind that I will not do anonymous requests (various reasons like it makes me anxious and also people you have blocked can send anons) :) 

However, the way I post requests is by making a post and then @ing the requester in a reply (as opposed to responding to an ask*) so if you don’t want your url attached to a request (which is totally fine and I won’t ask for any reasons or judge you!!)  - just say and I won’t do that!

*this is bc I’ve done requests in the past for people who ended out to be transmeds and other nastiness, and now the thing I made has their url attached to it :/ 

[t4t-lumpygrab]

Fanfic Request!

Request: Lemongrab and Treetrunks bonding :) Word count: 1.6K

Woo! Sorry that it took a while to get to this one! Hope you like it. 

🍋

Normally someone banging on the door meant that the police were trying to pin something on her again, or that Mr Pig had forgotten his keys and really really badly needed to use the bathroom. Very rarely did it mean opening the red door and seeing a huge yellow creature staring down at her unblinkingly. 

Treetrunks took a step back, noticing the prominent scarring across his face and two twiddling hands, and how one of the eyes staring down at her was a slightly different oval shape than the other. When he smiled the left side of his mouth was missing multiple sharp, pointed teeth. “Hellooo little elephant…”

Keep reading

[pattercakebakersman]

Birds of a Feather - Chapter 7 (1.6K)

Cws: graphic depictions of abuse against family and children including physical, emotional abuse and manipulation, degredation, guilt tripping, love bombing, child neglect and children being shamed, food insecurity, lack of bodily autonomy due to being abused, violent men/father figures, invasions of privacy and stalkerish behaviour. I advise that people under age 15 don’t read this one as it does get quite disturbing. 

“Are you excited for your surprise?” Lemongrab asked sweetly as he walked arm in arm with his sibling. 

“Oooh yes!” Lemongrab was happy and that meant the other Lemongrab was happy, two identical smiles reflecting each other as faithfully as a mirror. Things hadn’t been so sweet between them recently, but their brother seemed in good spirits. He was affectionate and warm today, they wanted to make the most of it. They were excited for their surprise - he never gave them any presents, even on their birthday. Maybe it was a really big present to make up for that? 

What they didn’t bring up was that they’d learned last night that he’d been coming into their room and watching them sleep. 

He smiled at them, and let go to press a button that opened a sliding door with a hiss. He took a step back and said theatrically “Youngest first!” 

Lemongrab skipped into the room and looked around expectantly. They scoured the floor for any boxes with big bows tied on them but there was just a chamber at the far end, built into the wall. There was a door that locked with a keypad, and a metallic structure with a hole in it like a TV set without any glass. In the middle of the room was a stand with a lever on it. 

"Brother what is this?" 

He squealed. "OOOOH my rigamarole do you not recognize?" 

"This is the room we first met in." Brother was so sweet. He had brought them to this special place for their surprise. 

"You will love it. You will beee so happy! Hm! And weee will be closer, as we should be." 

Lemongrab left and when he returned, he was trailing Lemonhope behind him like a balloon. Lemonhope was so short he had to stoop to hold his hand, making him look even more spindly than usual. 

He led Lemonhope to the edge of the structure and picked him up, placing him inside the TV like box. He stepped away and pressed a few buttons. The machine hummed with power and a wall of lasers beamed on, locking Lemonhope behind it. The box had turned into a cage. 

Lemongrab 2 felt immediately that there was something very, very wrong. "Brother what are you doing?" 

"I am getting things ready for our game!" 

They glanced at Lemonhope, who had backed into the corner, looking frightened. "What game is this?" 

"You are the younger lemon. You must be educated. I have neglected to teach you how to play by hurting. But I will amend this error. Watch me and learn." He stood behind the stand with the lever on it. He looked lovingly down at the sticking out metal handle and fondled it, rubbing his hands over the contraption while giggling to himself. Lemongrab 2 forced a smile, because that was what they were supposed to do when their twin was happy, but they still didn’t understand what he was doing. 

He put his hand on the lever and flexed his fingers before gripping it. He looked straight at Lemonhope with a strange mix of scientific detachment and pure joy on his face. “Let’s see now… pup gang got 4 units.. Trespassers got 10 units… disobedient children get hmm… 4 units tooo start with.” 

He pushed the lever up and Lemongrab watched as the floor cracked with electricity, turning the child inside into a spasming, screaming mess. Their brother pulled the lever back up with a woop and the floor under Lemonhope’s twitching body cooled. Lemonhope turned on his side, clutching his stomach and wheezing. He seemed to be in great pain. 

Lemongrab was about to run to him when their brother grabbed them by the upper arm and they froze. “I caught him playing the harp, despite myyy forbidding it. He must have broken into myyy private space to retrieve his devilish instrument. He has disrespected me for theeee final time.” Lemongrab said darkly, looking at his handiwork with no remorse. “All of you. All of you have disrespected me for the final time. I will tolerate nothing.”

Lemongrab 2 realised what must have happened. They hadn’t taken the harp away from Lemonhope after their lesson. “Was he playing… lemon musics?” They asked in a small voice. 

“It makes no difference to me what he was playing. That ugly boy with his ugly noises.” Lemongrab spat, “No. It cannot be allowed to continue.”

Lemonhope pushed himself to his knees and said in between gasps. “L-Lemongrab said I could…”

They wished he hadn’t said that, they immediately felt their brother’s gaze on them like a flood light. His hand tightened its grip. “What?”

“Lemongrab gave me the harp.” Lemonhope repeated. 

“Lemongrab is this… true? Have yoouuu disobeyed your brother, who’s word should be law to you?” He sounded more hurt than angry, but he wouldn’t stay that way for long. And when he became angry at them… There was a lot of space in that electrocution chamber. More than enough. 

“No! I-I didn’t!” They wished he’d stop touching them bt they were too terrified of him to wrench their arm away. “It was not like that.” they pleaded. 

“So. Lemonhope is not only a bad child, he is also a liar.” 

“Lemonhope didn’t mean to hurt you-” they said quickly. They tried to stroke his arm, to fix things. “it, it will not happen again!”

His eyes swivelled around to look at them. “I asked you to take responsibility for the boy, did I not.”

“Brother I will! I will! I-I am sorry I have not been a good boy.”

Lemongrab’s face broke into a strange, knowing smile. 

“Of course yooouuu have. You are a very, very good boy.” he said sweetly, “You are sooo responsible.”

“I am?” 

He nodded and put a hand on their back so he could guide them around to stand in front of the lever. Lemonhope was directly ahead of them, cowering behind the forcefield. 

“That is how I know that you will enact his punishment yourself.”

Lemongrab wanted to stop it. But the thought of being locked in there with Lemonhope, and of jerking around on an electrified floor, was horrifying. So instead they said; “how much should I give him?”

“It is your choice.”

“Disobedient children get 5 units… 6 units for liars?” 

Lemongrab’s eyes widened. He smiled at them. His smile grew bigger and bigger, with more and more teeth creeping into it. 

“7 units?” They asked, unsure. 

“For youuur first try? My my! What an appetite! Very well.”

Without taking their eyes off him, they pushed the lever. Lemonhope began to scream again. 1 unit - 2 units - they found counting the numbers was helpful, it gave them something else to focus on - 3 units - 4 units - 5 units - Lemonhope began to scream their name - 6 units - 7 units - Lemonhope fell silent. The only sound was the crackle of electricity. 

They held the lever there for what felt like ages. Their brother stared at them, unblinking, still smiling. He looked so happy. They must be happy too. If it was his way to play by hurting, then it must be right. 

They pulled the lever back to them, shutting it off. Their brother nodded once, and then went to inspect their victim. Lemonhope was curled up on the floor, completely still. He turned off the lasers and rolled him over. 

“He has fainted. Hm.” He observed, and they both watched a thin trickle of blood pour from his mouth. He must have bitten his tongue. But other than that he was fine. Not hurt. It had just been a harmless game. 

Lemongrab stood up and turned to face his sibling, who was stood with the lever in between them like a shield. 

He stretched his arms wide as if he wanted to embrace them. “Brother! Brother brother myyy brother! My darling my precious my sweeeeetness!” He ran over to them and swept them up in his arms. “You doooo share my lemony ways! You have learned how tooo play as a lemon does, mmm! Prideful and joyous day!” 

Lemongrab 2 nodded, still dazed and he let go of them. It was a big day for their twin, he shouldn’t over-do it. See, he could be so thoughtful and considerate- their brother had better appreciate it.  

Their twin looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time. He supposed they were- they had first me in the reconditioning chamber, but he had never shown them how to use it properly. Now he had, and they were complete. “We have not nuzzled in far too long. Let us renew our brotherly union, as a celebration of your rebirth.” He said and put his hand on the back of their neck. 

They pushed their forehead against his with more force than necessary. Lemongrab 2 felt so confused and scared, and their brother was warm. The gesture was familiar and comforting -it reminded them of when they first met and how happy he’d been to see them, and how affectionate he was with them when he thought they were asleep and didn’t know what he was doing. It felt like being loved by him. He was so happy with them. For the first time in months, he was happy, completely, utterly happy, with who they were. 

“I have succeeded in reconditioning you. Everything will be better now that we are the same again.” They nodded. “I have remade you in my image like a glob. 

Lemongrab put his arm around them and led them out of the room. They resisted the instinct to look over their shoulder to see if Lemonhope was still lying bleeding on the floor. 

[pattercakebakersman]

Birds of a Feather - Chapter 6 (800)

Cws: graphic depictions of abuse against family and children including physical, emotional abuse and manipulation, degredation, guilt tripping, love bombing, child neglect and children being shamed, food insecurity, lack of bodily autonomy due to being abused, violent men/father figures, invasions of privacy and stalkerish behaviour. I advise that people under age 15 don’t read this one as it does get quite disturbing. 

Lemongrab slowly opened his sibling’s door so as not to wake them. They had kept the curtains open, so the room was bathed in silvery moonlight, everything the greyish colour of a moth’s wing. 

He could see their outline under the blanket and he studied it for a while. This was what he looked like from the side. He imagined that he was someone else looking down at his own sleeping body, and that was his head poking out from the covers. 

They had left their diary open on the vanity table. Lemongrab stroked his fingers over the page, delighted to be seeing something they didn’t want him to. He avoided looking at his reflection in the huge mirror. 

Mmmmmm diary how dare you, 

Housekeeping:

Children must be bathed tomorrow. The hosepipe is in the shed somewhere. 

Ask brother for more bleach 

A window in the east wing has been broken. 

FEED THEM

Stables have not been mucked out in aaaa while. Hm. Oh dear. I’m sorry babies. 

Lemonhope seems happier. I believe my plan is working. Lemonsnail has been eating the grass and getting sick again, I do not know why he does it. 

Lemongrab frowned, always Lemonhope! They never should have made subjects. He hadn’t realised he would have to share his twin with them, and he hated sharing. He flipped through the book for any mentions of him. 

Things are not going so well between brother and I. I know he does not mean to hurt my feelings so it is pointless to be angry at him, but glob. I do wish that. No. It is blasphemy to think such a thought. I love my brother. Everything is fine. 

But if he does something like that again… let us hope it does not come to that. I love him so dearly. Why am I never good enough for him? I want to be respected too…  

Lemongrab closed the book and resisted the urge to hurl it at a wall. Now what was the meaning of that? He hadn’t hurt their feelings, they were his brother. He hadn’t given them permission to be upset at him. Where did he go wrong with them? He hadn’t raised Lemongrab to be like that. 

Lemongrab sat on his sibling's bed and watched them sleep. When they were sleeping they slipped back into the childlike innocence they'd been made with. The way they curled their fingers round the blanket, the way their nose pressed adorably against the pillow, it was overwhelming. He listened to the sound of their breathing and watched how their eyelids twitched occasionally, he hoped they were having a good dream. In moments like this he wanted them to have good things. 

Lately Lemongrab had been sullen, withdrawn, quiet. Like a smaller version of themselves. Once they'd taken up the whole castle as they ran up and down the corridors, drew all over the walls and played in every room. Now he barely noticed them in the corner. Let us hope it does not come to that. Come to what? Why did they think he disliked them… it wasn’t that he disliked them, or glob forbid that he didn’t love them (they were Lemongrab after all, how could he hate a part of himself?) it was that they did things he hated. He had to punish wrong doing, didn’t he? Why couldn’t they understand that. Weren’t they the same as him? 

Lemongrab realised he had no idea what his twin was thinking anymore. He knew how he thought and how they were supposed to think, but he could no longer be certain of what was going on inside their head. That was the one part of them he couldn’t get to. He could control what they dressed like, and what they ate, and when they were allowed to leave the house. But the idea that his twin had been keeping secret thoughts just for themselves, when everything that was theirs should also be his… it was humiliating. He was an earl! 

But he was also their brother. What was it they said? Brothers should not fight or mistreat one another. He'd called his brother ugly, he'd taken their food at mealtimes, he'd taken their toys, and their clothes, and so much more that couldn't be seen physically. And in return what had he given? He'd given them two brown mud stains on their uniform. They were afraid of him, he realised. Terrified. And he enjoyed it. 

But it still weighed on his conscience, as small as it might be, that his brother had been happy once and now they weren't. 

Lemongrab rested his forehead against his sibling's head. Closed his eyes so there was just the warm patch on his face where they touched. 

“Your flesh is my flesh…” he thought, “your skin is my skin… your body is my body. Better than me, you are mine.” 

He stood up and left, slowly closing the door behind him. Lemongrab 2 opened their eyes and waited, not breathing, for his footsteps to fade into the night. Then they slipped out of bed and went to lock their door. Their hands were shaking as they fumbled with the old fashioned lock. It wasn’t until the door clicked shut that they felt they could breathe again. 

[pattercakebakersman]

Birds of a Feather - Chapter 5 (1.3K)

Cws: graphic depictions of abuse against family and children including physical, emotional abuse and manipulation, degredation, guilt tripping, love bombing, child neglect and children being shamed, food insecurity, lack of bodily autonomy due to being abused, violent men/father figures, invasions of privacy and stalkerish behaviour. I advise that people under age 15 don’t read this one as it does get quite disturbing. 

The lemon children scampered away from the doorway with frightened yelps as Lemongrab advanced and kicked the door open with a loud shriek that echoed through the courtyard. Lemonhope, who had been peeking through the window down at what was happening, went to go hide until Lemongrab had calmed down and it was safe to go out, taking the harp with him. 

“Nobody respects ME!” Lemongrab screamed, slamming a fist into the wall and leaving a dent in the yellow lemon printed wallpaper. 

“I respect you!” Lemongrab 2 said quickly, hovering behind him like an anxious insect. 

Lemongrab didn’t look over his shoulder. “You do not respect me…”

“I do.” They said firmly. 

Lemongrab had now reached the end of the corridor. He turned his head as if considering whether he should look at them, and then turned it back. “If you respected me you would do everything that I want.” he said in the dejected voice of a small child. 

 Lemongrab vanished up the stairs and they ran after him, chasing the sound of his green boots hitting the stone steps with violent thwacks. “Do I not make yoouu happy?” they shouted, their plea echoing in the hollow stairwell.  

Their brother’s disgusted face appeared over the bannister. “Happyyy? How can I be happy with someone who does not even like me!”

He vanished and they stayed still for a moment. Didn’t even like him? Why would he say such a thing? They slowly climbed the rest of the stairs with a sinking feeling in their stomach. Didn’t like him… now that couldn’t be true. They’d been created to be his brother. Of course they liked him, it was built into who they were, and all they could ever be. Of course they liked him. They didn’t have a choice. 

Lemongrab had left the door to his room open, and hadn’t turned on the lights. He was lying on his bed, curled up like a question mark. In the shadowy room his black uniform made his limbs and body fuse together, so lying there he looked like a huge black leech with a bulbous yellow head and green tail. He hadn’t taken his boots off, they noticed. 

They peeled back part of the curtain, letting their shadow fall on his face. One of his dull white eyes opened and stared up at them icily. “Brother of course Iiii like you...” they soothed, but he just growled. 

“You and theee children…” he said bitterly, “do not think I have not noticed yoouur favouritism. Your little Lemonhope, your little Lemonlamb, all your little babies. Oh you would do anything for them I am sure.” 

Lemongrab 2 didn’t have anything to say. 

“You do not respect me.” Lemongrab repeated, “Nobody respects me… Nobody does what Iiiii want them to. I just want people to do what Iiii tell them to. I want to play with my children the way I want…” Lemongrab flipped over and wrapped his spindly arms around himself. He was shaking slightly, someone who didn’t know him as well wouldn’t even noticed. His body heaved as he held back a sob and the shaking intensified. 

“Lemongrab-” 

“No one wants tooo play with me… No one cares about meeee…” Lemongrab wailed. “Is it so hard? Is it so hard tooo make me happy?” Lemongrab swivelled his head around so it was facing backwards, glaring at his sibling with tears in his eyes. “Is Lemongrab so disgusting to you that you just want to make him miserable?”

“No brother.” They knelt on the bed and reached for him. “I love thee…”

He rolled over to face the right way and wiped the clot of snot that had formed at the base of his long nose. “Then obey me.”

They held onto his lower arms and lay on the bed next to him. “What do you want?”

“I want you to tell me that you love me again.”

“Brother of course I love you.” 

Lemongrab lay down next to his sibling, propping himself up on his elbow after pulling his arm out of their grasp. That way, he could look down on them as the two of them talked. “Do yoouu love meee very much?”

“I do love you very much.” they said sincerely. 

“Do you love me more than anyone?” he asked.

“I dooo love you more than anyone.” they replied faithfully.

Lemongrab smiled and they felt warm inside. “Who do you love more, me… or Lemonhope?”

They concealed their confusion at this question. “I love you.” they said firmly. Lemongrab bent over them, studying their face carefully for any signs they were lying. 

“And Lemonlamb?”

“I love you more.”

“And Headlemon?”

“You are my most beloved.”

“You love me more than all our boys?”

Lemongrab smiled up at their sibling. “Out of all my boys… I love yoouu the most.”

Lemongrab seemed content with this. He flopped down on the bed next to them and let his sibling curl up around his side. He idly reached up and stroked their skin - the same bumpy lemon texture as his own, as if their body was another limb connected to him. An identical extension of himself created to adore him. 

“Do you even love me more than yourself?” he asked. 

“I do.” Lemongrab relaxed and rolled over from them. They were both curled on their sides, and all they could see was the back of his head and his sloping, relaxed shoulders. They must have seen this view hundreds of times, following him around, waiting for him to look over his shoulder and see them standing there. 

“Brother,” they asked eventually, “who do yoouu love most of all?”

“Hm…” Lemongrab sounded thoughtful. They held their breath in anticipation. “I love Lemongrab the most.” He said eventually. He finally turned to face them and smiled, then said, “Get on the floor.”

For a moment neither of them said anything.

“What?” they asked. 

“Do it.” he almost hissed it and then softened his voice. "please." 

They sat up and clambered off the bed, dropped to their knees and then to their stomach, until they were lying on the floor with their face turned towards the bed. They could see the outline of the suitcase the harp had been kept in under the bed, and when they trained their eye upwards they could see their brother’s face looking down at them. “Whyyy am I on the floor?”

"Hm. Roll over so Iii can see your face." he said without answering their question. 

He reached down and stroked a finger up and down their nose. Then he swung his legs off the bed, dangling his two green boots above them. 

He placed his feet on their stomach, and there was a painful pressure as he wiped the mud off his boots. Their shirt was pulled up by his swiping motion, revealing a sliver of yellow skin above their blue belt. 

"Yes yes, yoouu have been a good boy today.” their brother said with palpable satisfaction in his voice, “Hm… I will show you your surprise earlyyy. Hee hee early! Now get out. Get out. I want to have nap-time." He rolled over under the sheets and soon he was breathing deeply. He still had his boots and uniform on. 

Lemongrab sat up and pulled their shirt down to fully cover themselves, though they still felt horribly naked even after they’d made sure not a single centimetre of skin wasn’t covered by their uniform. They stood up and stole out of the room, closing the door behind them quietly so as not to wake him. 

The lemon people who'd been bullying Lemonhope saw them go by and they were embarrassed about the two brown mud stains on their stomach. They worried it was written on them what he'd done. It felt humiliating.

They wondered if he always slept in his clothes without taking his shoes off. How much mud and dirt was there in-between his sheets now? And how had they never noticed.

[t4t-lumpygrab]

ID: a digital drawing of Lemonhope and Lemongrab from Adventure Time. Lemonhope is wearing a white outfit and looking up at his father with a neutral expression. Lemongrab has his left hand on his hip and looks annoyed, he gestures with his free hand as he says “You’re getting bullied? that’s cringe.” Cringe is in all caps. ED.

Birds of a Feather chapter 2 spoiler.

[pattercakebakersman]

Birds of a Feather - Chapter 4 (2.4K)

Cws for the whole fic: graphic depictions of abuse against family and children including physical, emotional abuse and manipulation, degredation, guilt tripping, love bombing, child neglect and children being shamed, food insecurity, lack of bodily autonomy due to being abused, violent men/father figures, invasions of privacy and stalkerish behaviour. I advise that people under age 15 don’t read this one as it does get quite disturbing. 

Lemongrab often went to the few political events he was allowed to attend alone, leaving his brother behind to look after the children. 

The whole family stood in the courtyard and watched him mount his camel, then waved goodbye as he rode out from the earldom. He didn’t wave back. 

Because Lemongrab was much more lenient than their brother, the lemon people jumped at the opportunity to do the things they weren’t supposed to do when he was around. Lemongrab supposed it didn’t do any harm for them to experiment a little with singing and dancing and giving by giving. If they were really lemon they’d go back to the lemon way because they’d realise it was better. There was no damage done by letting them figure it out for themselves. So long as they tidied up their games before the earl returned, they were fine with anything they did.

Besides, Lemongrab had more important things to do than scold an entire kingdom of children. Lemongrab used these days to try and recondition Lemonhope. 

Lemonhope sat at their blue painted vanity table, staring into the lemon shaped mirror. He turned his head around, looking at where his hair had grown to be the length of an unkempt, fluffy buzzcut. Lemongrab had retrieved the shaving razor from the bathroom and stood behind him. 

“I believe yoouu have been doing well,” they said warmly, and began to detangle his curls with their fingers. “You have not been playing your harp, nor have you been trying to hug your siblings.” 

“Thank you master Lemongrab.”

“Please just call me Lemongrab.” they began to shave his hair, starting from the back and working their way over his head. 

They shaved carefully so as not to cut him, and when he winced because they grazed his skin too close, they’d try to soothe him by stroking his shoulder. He didn’t feel bony to the touch anymore. 

The lemonjon trees had finally began dropping ripe candy, so they were able to give their children a good meal for the first time in several months. It had made them feel warm inside to see their cheeks and limbs fill out with fat again, and watch them go from sullen and irritable to the happy children they’d been when they were first created. Before they became so intimately familiar with starvation. They pushed the memories of those three weeks out of their head along with memories of Lemonjon’s death. It hadn’t been their fault. Their brother always said that Lemonjon had made his choice, it was not the lemon choice to make, but it had been his. There was nothing either of them could have done. While it did make them feel better to recite his words to themselves when they grieved, there was always a niggling sense of doubt they couldn’t shake. That perhaps… it had been their fault. But it wasn’t, they hadn’t done anything wrong. If their brother said so, it must be true. 

They turned their attention back to Lemonhope and smiled to themselves. “Brother will be pleased by your progress.” 

They watched Lemonhope’s reflection pull a face. “I doubt it.” 

They frowned and paused with the razor centimetres from his skull. “You do not seem, hm, happy that yoouu are becoming acceptable?”

“I am not happy being acceptable.” Lemonhope sighed and slumped in the chair. He looked at his tired, battered reflection and winced. “If I am myself, the lemon people mistreat me, and I am unhappy, if I am not myself… I am also unhappy. Perhaps there is no place for me anywhere.” 

“Lemonhope…” They rubbed his shoulder. “Do not say that. You are a lemon, your place is here with your family. With me. Do not give up so easily on happiness- I believe I have aaaa way..” 

“I wish I were free to do whatever I want.” he mumbled, “Free like you are.”

“I am not free to do whatever I want.” 

“You are an earl. I am but a lowly peasant.”

“I am an earl but I am…” they paused on how to describe it. They and their brother were both lemongrabs, that is to say lemongrab not as a person but as a set of rules set by their brother that they had to follow. And yet they could never follow them properly. Their brother never worked in the fields or cleaned, or cooked, or bathed their children. Their brother was free to go anywhere while they were expected to stay at home, and always, always be waiting for him to come back. He was the centre of their world and their entire existence revolved around him, while they were just a part of his. An important part of course, but he had still been created first. He was lemongrab, and they were… they were what, exactly? “Younger... than my brother. By many years.”

“You are not twins?”

“No. He is my elder. I was created to beee his companion by the Princess. He was so lonely before I was made.” They smiled briefly, remembering how happy he’d been when he first met them. “But… I guess I also cannot leave. But I do not mind it.”

“I see. That does explain much.”

“Explain what?”

“Nothing.” Lemonhope said quickly. 

“So yooouuu see,” they explained gently, “I also have aaa code of conduct I must follow.” They began to shave his head again. “Yes. Indeed. I have responsiiiibilities. I am not free to do whatever I want.”

“If you were free what would you do?” Lemonhope asked quietly. 

“I would. Hm. Well…” Lemongrab tried to think of an answer to his question but nothing came to mind. They thought about their brother’s suit that they’d folded up and put in their closet and how they would like to have other clothes than just their uniform, but they folded the thought away. It reminded them that they were ugly. “Let’s see now… I would…” There was just a blank hole where their desires should have been. It was disconcerting. “I do not know. It is forbidden thoughts to think this.”

“Yes.” Lemonhope nodded. 

The final strands of curly hair were sliced from Lemonhope’s head, and fell in slow-falling tufts onto the floor. Lemonhope turned his head left and right to examine his bald head and then hopped off the stool. He turned to leave when Lemongrab stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Mm Lemonhope, babyy… it is lesson time for you.”

Lemonhope seemed confused but didn’t resist when Lemongrab picked him up and set him on their bed. They reached under the bed and pulled out Lemonhope’s harp that they’d retrieved. They’d had to reach into their stomach and feel around the slippery, acidic wetness for the metal. They’d gagged as they retrieved it, and felt sick with worry that their brother would catch them as they snuck into his room, undid the lock and pulled out the forbidden item. 

Lemonhope took the harp and ran a finger down the string, not plucking it. He watched them with careful, curious eyes as he waited for an explanation. 

“Sweetness… you desire tooo play this thing?”

Lemonhope nodded. 

Lemongrab sighed. “Despite it all… you still desire it?”

“More than anything.” 

He said it so sincerely that Lemongrab decided they must be making the right choice. If Lemonhope was unhappy without his harp, and their brother was unhappy with Lemonhope’s music, then what seemed like a hopeless situation needed a third outcome. “If you are to play you will have to play correctly. The lemon way.” All they needed to do was change Lemonhope’s music, and all would be well. 

“The lemon way?”

“Yes! Lemonhope I have been thinking… I am in aaa dilemma. Brother says that you are my responsibility so I must punish you for wrong doing, but I must also change your ways to make you more acceptable. I am your father, I must assist you. Your harp playing hurts my brother because you play sweet music, when the music you should play is sour notes. Such as the music my brother used to play.” They explained excitedly. Their brother would be very proud of them for finding a solution that would make everybody happy. 

Lemonhope’s eyes widened. “His Earlness played music?”

“When he was in a band yes.”

Lemonhope tried to picture his mean and controlling father playing in a band - it was an incomprehensible image. Whenever Lemonhope had tried to picture Lemongrab’s life before him and the other children he’d imagined the two Lemongrabs living together the way they were now; with Lemongrab giving orders and his sibling bending over backwards to fulfil them. Instead his father’s life had been more different then he ever could’ve imagined. He’d been in a band.  “Father is musical…” 

“He was once…” Lemongrab said wistfully, clearly remembering better, happier times spent with their brother before Lemonhope had ever been born and Lemonhope felt a pang of jealousy. “he sang. He screamed. He was like an angel. Besides,” they pointed at the instrument in his hands, “that is my brother’s old harp.”

 “Father plays the harp?”

“Not anymore. I do not know why he now despises the sound. Hates the noise of finger on string.” 

“Oh indeed.” Lemonhope plucked one of the strings and ran a finger up the vibrating string, guiltily enjoying the way it thrummed against his skin. “Do you know how to play the harp?” he asked hopefully. 

“Me? Oh. No. Not at all. I know onlyyy how to play bass.” 

Lemongrab dived under the bed again and pulled out a dusty, battered looking guitar with three strings - the fourth had snapped. The guitar had a peeling off horse sticker on it that Lemongrab picked off like a scab and ate quickly. They patted it. “T’was mine instrument.” 

“Did you and father play together?”

“No. I was not allowed to play with him and the other bards in the end,” Lemongrab said sadly, “so it was pointless that I learned to play at all.”

“Not pointless, pointful!” Lemonhope insisted. 

Lemongrab shrugged. “I suppose.” 

“Will you play a song for me?”

Lemongrab considered his request. No one had ever asked them to play for them before. “Very well.” They picked out a few notes for him, their finger pressing on nothing where the missing string was. They hadn’t played in years and their playing was sloppy. “I am not blessed with talent as you are.” they said bashfully. 

Lemonhope frowned. “I am… blessed?”

“No- Well…” Lemongrab said quickly and then backtracked. Of course, Lemonhope wasn’t talented because he couldn’t play the right sort of music, just make strange, ugly noises. They shouldn’t encourage him with praise. But he seemed so sad. “That is toooo say. It iiiis… no lemony musics you make but tis clear that you are good at what you do. However you must learn to play lemon musics.” they insisted. 

Lemonhope seemed confused. “Okay.”

Lemongrab set their guitar aside and cupped their hands around Lemonhope’s face, stroking their thumb over his cheek. “Play something for me child. Something beautiful.”

Lemonhope flushed and bristled from their touch, so they removed their hands and let him fiddle with his harp. Lemonhope began to pick out a song carefully, lightly touching the strings with the tips of his fingers in a way they sent them quivering with music.  

Lemonhope’s song was melodic and airy, and very, very unacceptable. Their brother would have hated it. Lemonhope stopped playing and looked at them curiously. “It does not hurt you.” 

“What?”

“The harp does not hurt.” he observed. 

“No. It does not.” Lemongrab was confused.

“Perhaps because you are younger the music doesn’t make you suffer. You may be Lemongrab but you are different.”

“I am no different from my brother. We are the same.” Lemongrab said indignantly, scowling at him. They dragged their guitar back to them with a frown, “Try to play it more like this.” 

They untuned their guitar until the strings were either too tight or too loose, and played a disjointed mess. Lemonhope un-tuned his harp and copied the erratic, unmelodic playing.

“Yes! Yes that issss acceptable! You are doing it!” 

Lemonhope looked down at his harp and mumbled “I like myyy way better.”

“But this is the lemon way-” 

There was a loud shriek in the courtyard 

Lemongrab ran to the window and leaned out, down below they could see a small black clad figure advance on some of the lemon children in the courtyard and kick Lemonlamb. They ran away and a chase began, going round and round the lemon tree in the yard like a childhood game. For a minute they watched the scene like it was happening on a screen, and then the horror dawned and they scampered downstairs. 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING WHAT ARE YOU DOIIIIING!?” they screamed at him as they ran into the yard. The lemon children he’d been harassing ran up to them and hid behind them. 

“Get out of my way.” He hissed at them. 

“What is going on?” 

“We are playing. You are interrupting our game.”

“You’re not playing you’re-”

Lemongrab’s eyes flashed with anger and he snarled at them. “Who are YOU to tell me what I am doing? I am playing by hurting, it is our way.”

They reached a hand behind them to reassure the lemon child shaking and whimpering against their leg. They felt their fear jolting their hand around as they tried to get them to stay still, like a string thrumming under their finger with a mind of its own. They glared indignantly at their brother. “It is not!”

“A lemon gives by taking,” their brother snivelled, creeping closer towards them, “cares byyyy yelling, and plays by hurting-”

“You just made that last one up!” They shouted at him. 

He gasped. Hurt crumpled his face and they remembered insisting to him that brothers did not fight. “I have made up nothing. Lemon ways are my ways, I look into the heart I was made with and see nothing but RAGE!” he was standing directly in front of them so when he shouted the final word his lips peeled back, revealing his green gums and his sharp, sharp white teeth. 

They realised that the lemons who’d been hiding behind them had ran away and were watching from behind the castle door, leaving them to face him alone. 

“Is it so wrong that I am angry? Would yooouu change my ways?” He narrowed his eyes and prodded their chest uncomfortably. “Would you wish me different like all the others? Would YOOOUUUU RECONDITION MEE?!” 

They winced at how loud his shouting was and wanted to cover their hands with their ears. “Brother what is going on? I do not understand.”

“No one. No one understands.” He stalked past them and spat out: “Not even you.”

[pattercakebakersman]

I’ve now done the first three chapters of Birds of a feather! I’m gonna try and finish the next 4 tomorrow, and then ask a friend to look over them and then post them 1 a day for a week :) after that I’ll see how that worked irt posting the second half.

[pattercakebakersman]

I’m keeping all the chapters in the same google doc and I’m almost at 10K words for the whole fic!

[pattercakebakersman]

oh yeah the chapters are queued to post at 4pm American time 9pm UK time for the next few days :)

[pattercakebakersman]

Birds of a Feather - Chapter 3 (700)

Cws for the whole fic: graphic depictions of abuse against family and children  including physical, emotional abuse and manipulation, degredation, guilt  tripping, love bombing, child neglect and children being shamed, food  insecurity, lack of bodily autonomy due to being abused, violent  men/father figures, invasions of privacy and stalkerish behaviour. I advise that people under age 15 don’t read this one as it does get quite disturbing.

Lemongrab’s room was much bigger than theirs, with a huge four poster bed that had heavy, draping curtains around it. Underneath it was the suitcase with Lemonhope’s, no, with Lemongrab’s old harp in it. He had a rocking chair in the corner and an ornate carved table by the wall, where his letter writing equipment was. Like the rest of the castle there were no windows so the room was lit entirely by a lemon shaped lamp, and by glow-worms kept in cages. 

He picked up some clothes that were draped over the chair and tossed them over his shoulder blindly, causing them to totter about trying to catch them. “Take theeeese garments and model them for me-” 

“Oh?!” They never got to wear anything other than the white version of his uniform. On the rare occasions he took them with him out of the castle they were forbidden to leave (which was for their protection. The outside world was a dangerous and judgemental place for a Lemongrab) they were amazed by all the different dresses the princesses wore. They tried to imagine what it felt like to feel the breeze on your legs and the flutter of fabric around you as you spun. They’d once sat at his writing desk and written a letter to the Princess asking her to send them a dress for their birthday, but she never replied. And she didn’t send them anything. It had been so long ago that they’d forgotten all about it, and resigned themselves to a life lived in their brother’s hand-me-downs. They held up the black jacket he’d tossed their way. “These are for me tooo wear?” 

“I need to see what they will look like on me before I wear them toooo theeee political summit. Change.” he snapped his fingers in their face. “Now.”

Lemongrab looked around the room for a place to change. “May I go on the bed?”

“Why?”

“To change behind the curtain.”

“What? Why?”

They held the fabrics to their chest anxiously. “I do not want you to watch me.”

“I do not understand… you changed before me always with no complaint.” he grumbled. It was true, when they’d lived by the sea and shared a bedroom they’d had no issue with doing anything and everything with their brother, but that had been a long time ago. “We are the same body. We are both Lemongrab.” he sounded confused and even hurt. 

“You have no secrets from me.” 

It felt like a damnation, they wished they did have something that was theirs alone. “I do not want you to see.” they said quickly and climbed on the bed before he could protest. They pulled the curtain over, separating them with a wall of thick, opaque fabric. His bed smelled slightly musty, and lemony like himself. He hadn’t changed his sheets in a long time it seemed. 

“Smells gross…” they thought, as they peeled off their uniform and folded it up. Their brothers clothes were a different, silkier fabric than his usual clothing. The shirt was bone white with ruffles going down the front, and the jacket had a clean, silky lining that it felt good to wear and move in. 

They pulled back the curtain and climbed down off the bed. 

“Hmm…” He took their jacket lapels in his hands and tugged the jacket from side to side, then inspected their sleeves. “Turn around-” he made a circular motion with his index finger, “-so Iii may see theee back.” 

They didn’t like having their back to him, knowing he was inspecting them so closely. “Turn so I can seeee my side profile.” 

Lemongrab stood facing the wall. He took their chin in his hand and swivelled their head around like a doll’s. Turning them this way and that so the room swivelled round with them. They looked only at the wall, and not into his eyes. He sighed. “I am so very ugly… ah well… The suit does nothing for me. I will wear my uniform. You may leave.” 

They were silent, and didn’t move. Then they slowly turned their head to face him, with their eyes full of hurt. “You think I am ugly?”

“I think weee are both ugly.” he said dismissively, “Now go.”

Lemongrab picked up their clothes off the bed and left, not wanting to be told a third time.

[pattercakebakersman]

Birds of a Feather - Chapter 2 (1.2K)

Cws for the whole fic: graphic depictions of abuse against family and children  including physical, emotional abuse and manipulation, degredation, guilt  tripping, love bombing, child neglect and children being shamed, food  insecurity, lack of bodily autonomy due to being abused, violent  men/father figures, invasions of privacy and stalkerish behaviour. I advise that people under age 15 don’t read this one as it does get quite disturbing.

The other lemons noticed that Lemonhope's head had been weeded of its hair. He wandered around like a shorn sheep, drifting in and out of the castle’s cold rooms. Maybe he was looking for where his harp had been hidden? But Lemongrab had made sure he wouldn’t ever find it again. Their brother had placed it in an old suitcase, wrapped a chain and lock around it, and slid it under his bed. He’d placed the key on their tongue and forced them to swallow it. When they pressed their shrinking stomach they could feel its metallic, painful outline on the walls of their organ. But most of the time they forgot it was there at all. 

They had other things to think about. 

Lemongrab peeled the soily gloves off their hands and tossed them with the other gardening tools. The lemonjon trees had needed weeding and watering, not to mention pruning. They’d checked the leaves for discoloration and disease with their heart in their mouth because the earldom couldn’t afford to lose its crop this year, but thankfully, the trees were all safe, and bunches of candy were beginning to form on the branches. They’d have food soon. Everything would be fine. Acceptable, even.

A dark flash made them turn and look up at an empty window. They realised their brother must have been watching them toil away and they suddenly realised how soily their blue boots had become, and felt embarrassed. They rushed into the castle to get changed. 

The empty, windowless corridors flickered with harsh lamps as they made their way to their room, walking past a group of noisy lemon people without a second glance and then stopping in their tracks. Had that been-?

They stepped back into the doorway and watched carefully. Lemonhope had been pushed up against a wall, and several of his siblings were crowded around him. Unlike Lemonhope, they were dressed in black, designating them as their brother’s creations. One of them poked his head and they all laughed. Lemonhope barred his sharp teeth but didn’t say anything. One of them pulled him forward and they circled around him like vultures. The one that had pulled him reached out their yellow hands and shoved him, hard, onto the floor.  

Lemongrab ran up and yanked Lemonhope out of the circle. They put a hand on his shoulder and pressed him to them. "What is this?" they demanded. 

The lemon children huddled together, silently and sullenly. “I said what is the meaning of this?” they repeated. 

The children looked at each other sheepishly, Lemonhope turned to bury his face in their stomach. 

"You are behaving unacceptably!” They scolded, “Lemon children! Did me and brother make you from nothing to tease one another?" 

"But Lemonhope is a bad lemon.” Said the one that had pushed Lemonhope over, “Father says so." 

"Lemonhope is your brother. Brothers do not mistreat one another. Does my brother mistreat me?" 

"No…" 

"You defile our royal example with playground bickering.” Lemongrab said in a stern voice, still gripping Lemonhope. “No more of this." 

"No more of what?" came a voice from behind them. 

Lemongrab turned and saw their brother standing in the doorway. The lemon children they’d been reprimanding ran up to him, and he crouched down to pet them while grinning. He patted the one that had pushed Lemonhope over on its bald, hairless head and giggled as another, smaller lemon with wings tried to crawl into his lap. "Lemongrab says we are not allowed to play with Lemonhope how we like." whined the winged lemon as he placed them back on the ground. 

"They weren't playing! They were bullying me." Lemonhope said sulkily.  

Lemongrab looked up at his sibling with a faltering smile. "And you believe Lemonhope?" 

"I saw it happen." they stated. 

"Hm." 

"Brothers should not fight." they said. 

Lemongrab was silent for a moment as he studied the two of them coldly. His eyes flickered to Lemonhope, who they were still holding, and then landed on their face. They let go and stepped away from him, only then did he visibly relax. "No they should not." he said distantly. 

Lemongrab pushed his children aside and squatted in front of Lemonhope on his haunches with his elbows on his knees, resting his chin in his hands. Lemonhope avoided looking into his big, white eyes. "Why were you… being teased?" he asked. 

"They said I'm the ugliest lemon. And that my harp is awful." Lemonhope mumbled. One of the lemon people snickered. 

Lemongrab let out a bark of a laugh. "They are attempting to recondition him! Of course without the proper equipment they are to beeee unsuccessful." he said fondly. 

Lemongrab 2 bristled at this. They’d had him backed up to the wall and sprawling on the floor, there was nothing to laugh about. "They were pushing him around.” Their brother raised his eyebrows but didn’t seem to care. “Nggh… they hurt him." 

He finally turned his head around to face his subjects. "Is this true, myyy babies?" The lemon children stopped snickering and looked at him guiltily. "Hm! I see!" 

"Brothers should not fight." They repeated.  

Lemongrab stood up and approached them. He was an inch taller than them, and wearing heeled boots so he looked down on them as he put his hands behind his back and flashed them a thin lipped smile. The points of his sharp, pike-like teeth were visible through the crack between his lips. “Aaand how should brothers be?” he asked sweetly. 

They were caught off guard by the question. “Brothers should be loving and lemon sweet with one another.” 

He looked at them for a while and then nodded. "Brothers should not fight.” He turned to address the lemon children. “Cease this behaviour.” 

The lemon people scampered out of the room, leaving the three of them alone. 

"How old are you now Lemonhope?" He asked.  

"8 your honour." 

"8? I thought you were younger…. That iiiis not acceptable. Hm. Make yourself younger. You were much better when you were little.” Lemonhope glanced at Lemongrab 2 expectantly over his shoulder and they offered him a weak smile. “You did not have any of that horrible hair…"

He stroked a hand over Lemonhope’s head and wrinkled his nose at the fuzz beginning to grow back. “Shave yourself again immediately.”

“Yes master.” Lemonhope said in a clipped voice and left the room as fast as possible. He didn’t glance up at them before hurriedly shutting the door this time. It hurt them. 

Lemongrab stalked over to them again. “Brothers should be lemon sweet with one another, hm?”

“Yes.” they said, unsure. 

“You have not been so sweet lemon sweet with meee recently. I see you ngh strokiiing our boys but you have no strokes for me,” he hissed angrily, “who should be dearer to you than all! You set a bad example for our children, you shirk youuur companion duties… it is no wonder Lemonhope is such aaa difficult child, and that he cannot get along with others. When he has your example too follow.” 

“I am sorry. I did not think you wanted…”

“You would tell me what I do and do not want?” He laughed again, as if just a second ago he hadn’t been seething at them. “You are reckless, yet I admire you for it.” He offered them his hand and they kissed it obediently. “Yes. Yes that is myyy rigamarole. Attend me,” He linked his arm around theirs, “I require your assistance.”