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[pautassiumposts]

I am not as social

After a long day of hard work, I went back dorm and sit next to my desk. Like usual, I started to think: I thought about things I did and how to do better. Yet overall I know that I am not a very sociable person. I see many people being social like Warren, Ryogo, Fiona. However, I am not one of them. Honestly, I don’t even know these sociable people very well at all. This is clear proof that I am not communicative. 

I can say that I am no people-pleaser though I often make jokes about the harsh reality of things and word games. Yet I bet none of you ever heard me talking to anyone who is not close to me or none Chinese. Even if you did, I am assured to be talking about studying. Never about other things. 

So you may ask me now if I am not as social, how did I make some friends in the first place? To be clear, I am not anti-social, not an extremely person who hates being social. I do, social, but way below average. While I heard Kaiwen and Davis talking about League of Legend and while Warren and his friends enjoying the caviar of friendship. I sit down, pull out my phone and listen to “JOJO bizarre adventure theme song - Giorno’s theme”.

I am changing, nevertheless, because of the fact that I realize the school provided me with the power to become social. And I have learned that by making closely related friends you first:

1. Never joke at the first meeting as it is always serious no matter what.

2. Friendship is made by chatting for a long time. 

Whenever your Chat-o-meter is filled for the day, then you may stop talking. If the Chat-o-meter goes below 0 then he is obviously not in the mood or just prefers unfriendly to you. However, everything can be changed. I knew a friend who has been talking with me for at least 5 hours on the phone just a chat (he is Chinese and close to me of course). (By the way, Chat-o-meter is an intricate device that was created for the purpose to become more sociable for me.)

3. Once a soul friend is made you will never need to talk to him every day. 

Because he knows you so well that communications like such are not necessary. Therefore, talking is not required in this process, but still, some chatting would be very helpful and fun!

4. You may never truly understand a friend, which lead to a failure in friendship

To truly understand someone requires at least master philosophical and psychological skills. Only then you will know how to simulate their life day by day and will know their creed and idea of thinking.

5. People-pleasers might not be a good option for a very related friend. 

While people-pleasers and themselves can potentially become very closed, I mean super closed, friends, and they are always kind and nice to everyone in general. They might not be super nice to one single friend! 

I believe this is because whenever you talk to them, they will put up a mask to make you believe that they are interested in the things you say. However, when you found out the truth about them you might refuse to accept it. Therefore, leading to a problem where they cannot be a soul friend of yours until you all settle down the misunderstandings.

6. There are 4 types of friends know to exist: The must, the trust, the rust and the just.

Must mean best/soul friend, trust is a very good friend of yours yet does not help you when the world of yours fall down  “A friend in need is a friend indeed.” The rust, just like the word, knows for a long time yet still not part of your group of people. They just are the people you know, the minimum level of this type of friend is not hostile to you or your action, they may speak in a passive-aggressive way to shake off your daily conversations. (Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, according to my senior, he said that it is good to have a roommate who is nothing more than rust friends).

And that is all I know so far, leave a comment down below to freely argue and criticize where I had done wrong! I am more than pleased to hear you prove my mistakes so I can make more friends. In fact, if you read it you must criticize me somewhere in the essay about my understanding of a friend. If you found nothing wrong with the essay I will unfriend you!

[pautassiumposts]

Rotoscoping

For those of you who never heard of rotoscoping is an animation technique that will trace exactly what the real-life object looks like. Frame by frame, and you will need 150 frames of painting for around 3 seconds in total. Imagine how did Disney paint everything frame by frame in such a short amount of time.

Anyway, I tried to draw them and I can promise you, it is the most boring thing you will never do. Imagine sitting down on the computer and just use your mouse trace every frame of a cat moving, every detail of a cat moving his leg. And even it just moved a single bit you will still need to trace it down.

To get the footage to a form where you can easily rotoscope you need to use another tool to track down the object you need to do it frame by frame again. Which basically you need to do around 300 frames for a 3 seconds video! And if there is anything I want to say. Do not do this job unless you are capable of speed painting. Which is not me, unfortunately. 

[pautassiumposts]

The tragic tales of Roommates

Roommates, of course, are the only thing you should be worried about in boarding life. Because even I fought the devastating boys' toilet, killed the sorrows of missing my family, and dealt with morning monsters by determinations, roommates are the only thing that I do not have a universal solution. 

As a general solution does not exist, it would be hard to get into good relationships, for example, (I will not mention names here) is assigned as my roommate. He made his introduction of his nationality and made his interests and stuff everything, then I introduced mines as well. Everything so far goes super chill and normal. That is until the moment where I was unprepared for a preeminent issue - his sleeping time.

Sleeping time often requires a lot of discussions, for those of you who are chill with a dude who almost sleeps at 2 A.M. every morning and plays some random idle games, you are fine. However, I have a monster to fight every morning. So a decent amount of sleeping is mandatory.

Therefore, I started my discussion. You have no idea how nervous it is: that is my word choice appropriate, and I even wrote a script about making a compromise! This is because I understand changing someone else’s habit is dreadfully tricky, and I will have to be the one stand up in front of his face and tell him.

I hope I could tell him when we meet again. He returned after 9, now is my chance I stood up but sat back down. I couldn't do it... What a loser I am... knowing that talking to him is so crucial yet so hard to do. My fears are the hands that crawl over my body to push my sitting down and shut my voice.

Awkwardly, he was just there standing and confused by my action as if I was a weird boy. I smiled back and explained that I was just working out... with a burst of stupid laughter to myself: I pathetically dropped my imaginary tears. JUST ANOTHER DARK NIGHT hides ANOTHER COWARD.

And another night I go... listen to his laughter from him playing the game and constant changing lightings from his phone all the way to 2 A.M. The next morning, he woke up and left the room, without saying goodbye or anything and left. Like we have never talked after the first day. The cold, grey sky bullies me another day... 

[pautassiumposts]

Violence can only cause more violence

If there is anything I learned from any video game the first thing it came up in my mind is violence. Perhaps is the games that I play, which in most case violent, I have a time when I truly enjoy the violence of it. You know, smashing people in the head; shooting their intestines out with blood everywhere. I used to love these things. That is until the Hotline Miami series came to me - Richard spoke to me in person.

“You think its all a dream, maybe its time to wake up?” That day, after my thorough analyzation of the game, surprisingly, was my first time realizing what I had done. I was paying people money to enjoy the violence from everywhere. Undertale, for example, when you chose the genocide path, where you kill everyone, you will eventually face sans, who will use the most amount of violence to kill you. To be honest, since it is impossible to defeat sans on the first try, and even if you defeated sans your genocide ending is ended by the most violent attack by Chara. She stops you from destroying more by destroying the game. And I could find millions of games for the proof of my point. 

I woke up, I realized that playing a game is no different from who I truly am. No matter the cause, the ending is that I ended up buying the games filled with violence. And eventually, I enjoyed it. 

What is the aftershock of the realization of violence is bad? It is better to done dirty thought than done dirty deed. Indeed, in the real world, we should control the violence we reviece from video games, as it can potentially affect our life. To obtain a peaceful life, violence is required to be removed.

[pautassiumposts]

Operation Lucid Dream

It started when I dreamed of an ominous dream. It was about me, and R cried just in a room. I sat there facing him sideways, weirdly enough, I was the one talking unconsciously, but it made total sense. It was in English, but I cannot remember the meaning of the sentence. I then started to remember a keyword: family. Yes, after I mention the word, then my vision started to blur. I suddenly realized that I was crying. However, R was crying too then, because my tears influenced others. We cried for about 4 seconds, later I heard sharp sound from my alarm clock stabbing inside my ears.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP”

I opened my eyes and smashed my alarm clock as soon as I used my vocal transmission bearing skill inside my brain. Without question, I realized the angle from my body to the source was about 0.4 meters, it was to the 290 degrees from my vision. Therefore, I used my left hand. However, by the time when I was about to smash my alarm clock, it was Saturday.

I cursed myself from yesterday. Did you know that in Spanish, they describe time as unchangeable: in the way where one moment of time is unique, it is impossible to have two of the same moment of time. (for instance, we say “son las doce” instead of “están las doce”) Therefore, cursing yourself yesterday technically makes sense in Spanish. However, because of that curse, I realized that if I can write all my dreams down on a notebook, I will have a memory of what I had dreamed of all together. Dreams are the reflective literature to your personality. It tells you a story, but then it shows a more in-depth meaning reflected in the story. So I will write down my dream when I woke up, and think about the dream for the rest of the day till it makes sense.

[pautassiumposts]

Fear of tears ( inspired by “Crying, empathy, and other jazz.” by username: camilacsw)

Have we ever wondered why we do not like crying? We assume it is an act of children. Nevertheless, I personally tested and confirmed according to the theory of “camilacsw” I actually feel good for the aftermath of crying, but I cried in the gym. However the method we use to get our selves filled with tears: it can be very emotional; extremely physical, or perhaps filled with obscurity. When I trained my breast muscles to only lift two 12 pound of dum-bell for only 15 times (Yep, my muscles are pretty weak), I cried and cried on the third set. Horribly, it was embarrassing when I do that in front of everyone in the room. I saw one junior face filled with confusion: he even asked if I was ok. Despite my face was all red and tears were dropping down, I experienced a genuine relieve unexpectedly. I felt much better for the first time where I had a feeling that made me so confident and powerful. And believe or not, I had a Spanish presentation and half of it was not prepared. However, because of the confidence, it rushed in me: I don't care if I have to work until 2 AM in the morning, just because I can do it, I do it. Therefore, I wish crying brings a good feeling to what we wanted.

[pautassiumposts]

The Enforcer (Cre... Wri...) ツ

I behold the world. The world is made up of two vital instructions from the greater enforcer: life and death. It is simple to describe the definition, but hard to see the truth behind the veil. Only the ones who are capable and wish to dedicate their lives to understand such a concept shall be able to have the knowledge. However, they are not supposed to be here, although possibly never should exist. I behold such being where the fire never burns them, and old age won't kill them. Nature is unable to process their deaths in any way. Both of them are invincible; inside these two people contains great power between the two, an unbelievable force that heals and protects them from the balance of nature. How magnificent to witness that such impossible beings have been created! However, they have broken the law of nature as they can be born but cannot die. No doubt they are born on our soil, yet they will live without returning the damage they have done to nature. Eventually, nature will fall due to their immortality. I, therefore, have the responsibility to tell them that they have to stay apart, but they smile back: proving that the knowledge I have acquired over the last trillions of years was wrong. Ridiculous, I thought at first, yet their power never should have been acquired or utilized. It is the unbreakable attraction between the two that made this possible; nature has no words for such a being. No waits, there is one: love. This chivalric force made these two do unimaginable things that nature cannot accept. Thereby, I will have to ask them to leave and let nature remain how it is.

They smile again and say: “Since we are invincible, we can use the creatures, the resources, and the water for our survival.” Nevertheless, my dear, they used too much water that they did not need; they devoured tons of animals and drove them to extinction; they almost never stopped using resources. I will have no choice but to punish them, which I have never done for the past million years. Last time was the monopoly of the reptiles that took control over the world. This time, if the earthquake cannot bury them; if the fire cannot burn them; if the rocks do not hit them; if the ocean does not drown them; I will learn. Even it takes thousands of years to understand a valid punishment to kill them before they destroy my beautiful nature.

The male’s hand is filled with cuts and scars, but how? Isn’t he so invincible that nothing from nature can harm him a bit? I soon realized that his eyes were different from what I had first seen. Since he was a baby, he was fearful and insecure. He was once afraid of everything that he saw, which was perfect for the world. If he never met her, perhaps they would have lived without devastating the world. However, his eyes are a very sharpened knife: stronger than the claws of the lion, and his body strength is as strong and determined to remove a mountain if it blocks his way. His face is also filled with perseverance to live and help others to survive. The others are obviously his own kind. His facial mane is filled with water droplets and some berry seeds as if he stole the food from the birds and eaten so much that his stomach expanded to a degree where it can expand no more. The water that he used is mainly useless- never hydrating him. He drains every lake until it goes dry, then changes. He could just let nature replenish itself and we can all live longer this way. His nails are broken; his hand is strong and powerful. However, he never uses his hands to balance the world, instead, he just wastes nature. I wanted his power, to help the world become a better place.

What I never understand is how such power calls love so potent? Honestly, every living being in the world has feelings, even I have some. However, the power of this particular feeling has no origin. It was created by no chemical reactions or energy from anywhere else, it is purely the power of emotion. However, if energy is created this way, perhaps I can use some of it to turn things right and make sure they do not destroy any of the important parts of the world. I need to learn to punish them and to learn how to use their energy to destroy themselves and help my own world. Honestly, my emotions overtook me for the beginning of the world, but that was the only time. I know how to wield the power, yet even the powerful mortals cannot completely handle it. They are strong indeed; they never own a body that possesses the ability to control nature. So eventually their bodies will rot, but they cannot die. They will live on and keep annoying the balance of nature. And only when they are gone will the world have a chance to restore balance.

Now is the time for the punishment, or maybe karma. I have learned that they have formed groups of people from diverse backgrounds yet connected with each other. They battled and survived, but one problem is that their technological advancement is so strong that it can destroy the currently existing nature. I have also learned that the economy was an important factor in war. Right now, a good punishment is to prevent them from using the explosive called “nuclear bomb” and take them down in a smart way. I did see great people before, the people who are bonded to break their chains and try to think like me. However, because they were not born to be immortal, they could have taken my place. Nowadays, their selfishness has made them no longer immortal, and in fact, I believe they will die soon. As I said, they need to be punished before their death, or they might survive and live on and keep on destroying the soil. 

[pautassiumposts]

The War Against Morning Monster

Admit or not, there is a monster living inside my mind; and no matter how I try to fight it, it will grow stronger and bigger every morning when I wake up. I saw many YouTube and random Ph.D. papers approved by famous researchers, then I found them not helping at all. Yes, today, I want to tell a telltale tale of the legendary tale between me and my morning monster. (Playing with words is cumbersome)

When I was called up in the morning with my alarm clock on my phone, the battle begins. I call it “The Ring Of the Seven Frost.” Because it is frigid in my room at 7. The monster then started his attack on my eyes first. The sore inside my iris begins to expand: telling me to nap for just 5 minutes, where I will probably fall asleep again and be late for my first class. I won’t let that happen, so my determination went forward and punches the monster in the tail and open my eyes to get the curtain up...

Yes! I did it! No matter how cold it was for the frost around the room might be, I concurred it by rushing near the window, and I am about to witness the first sunlight of day! Damn! Today is very cloudy, and no sun shall shine on the ground for the people who are suffering to get up. The monster saw and smile ツ menacingly. Then he started to strike back on my toes, I fell back to bed and started my back up plan for not getting enough ultra-violet light-I will use blue light instead. 

I opened my phone and went on YouTube; almost instantly, I typed “Memes.” In case if you do not know what Meme is, here is a definition: (an EXTRAORDINARY humorous image, video, piece of text, by Internet users). Memes shine its beautiful light on to the monster, and it replies:

“Ha! Ze meems woll noot healp you en eny weay! Ai vill ven ze war!”

And as always, it underestimates the power of Memes. As the light of information that makes no sense along with the sounds of million waves of laughter, the monster scream in pain.

“Doom u! U connot defået mi! Ai em ze murning monztar!”

And I simply replied

“And I am who I am. *Instantly accept coldness by removing the blanket*.”

Every morning, the monster shows no sympathy. He will always find one way or another to kill me. The monster always comes to me when the weather is freezing. After I got rid of the water in my dam, then I fight the monsters in the following methods:

“I will make my blood rush through my brain to get you out of my head!”

I pulled my hair tight, then I started to make my bed. It is really a simple step to do, but due to the movements required to do such an activity, I became more energetic. 

“Take that you monster -I tidied my bed!”

My monster is obviously weakened, heat and light are his major weakness. As we move, we create a certain amount of heat. I would prefer strong and intense lights from my dorm, and it works very well in waking me up. However, because Ryogo is my roommate and he doesn't wake up until 7:30, so I cannot use the light in my rooms. Now, to the toilet I go!

And then I brush my teeth in the morning while stimulating my face with some cold water. The monster is grievously weakened, and I knew I had won the war against the morning monster. Now is the final step to end this war: put on my cloth. By doing this, helps me stimulates my brain by different colors brushes into my optics and the color of the rainbow (honestly just black and white) rushes toward the mouth of the monster. There the great sword of light has made his final cut and force the monster to write down a peace treaty for not getting me tired during the day.

“And I shall call my victory ‘The Road to Tomorroad’ ” I shouted awkwardly toward the mirror right in front of my closet. (Get it, cuz road kinda rhymes with tomorrow so I call it tomorroad meaning the road to tomorrow?... god, I have no friends...). 

Nevertheless, however we fight or hate each other; I believe we still need to be friendly with each other. I have denounced the monster in the morning, but we always break the peace treaty at night. He then wields his magical power to make me fall asleep, except he is still angry from the lost battle in the morning and refuses to cast the spell at first. I apologized, and I allow him to cast his spell on me. However, only 2 days in a week to cast the spell on me completely.

And every morning, me and my monster fight all over the places. This monster might sound similar to you, but that is my monster, not yours. 

[pautassiumposts]

Society without government

News Patches Board From God:

“

-We are running a BETA of the world 242 away from CELTA, hooray! (Even hooray has no definite meaning in it)

-Since we are entering a new age of reformation, we would try a newly introduced system named - ANARCHY. It simply means the formation of a society of no Government. (I know, it has been introduced with such system)

-The introduction of Anarchy includes multiple problems and benefit:

Upside-

no need to worry about the nation’s happy status (Literally you don't have to care)

Freely trading system, never a central market existence, there are only free trades. (Good economy)

More flexibility to rule a country that is never ruled

Downsides:

More chaos, more war (BURN IN FIRE!!!)

Instead of an intact national system, we realize it is possible to have a family or a great league to appear that might eventually rule a country, but these cost years and a ton of money

No arts trade, because of the quality of art and philosophy in society is very bad.

------------------------------------------------

Now then, go find your world and rule the people!”

      I heard about it 11 years ago, that day where none of us can possibly forget. The nation that I loved, so beautiful and functional disappeared. Almost no resistance from the crowd or the king. They just accepted it as if the strings of the muppet broke and they are panic and don’t know what to do. All I heard was nothing but a snap of a finger from above, and not even gradually, the world changed. People always feared this moment, this is why they lock their doors when they leave. They never trusted each other, even the most trustworthy betrays. One advantage to me was that I never had any friend, I am no more than an anti-socialist. Not as if no one can never get close to me, but I manipulated all my “friends” as a tool. A soul friend you ask? I can tell you from the 23 years that I lived which a friend was not important, all you need to care about is your survival. 

      This is how I feel - powerless and fear. I know that everything in this world was different from the one that I lived when I was young. When I was young, my land was happy faces; everyone talked and chatted with some pain in their mind but at least - living, whereas the formation of an unbalanced society which gave people no chance to thrive in the current form of it. Confusingly, from my mother, she always bragged about how our great weapon systems such as H-gas, R-bomb and especially the Big Brother system that is keeping your safety. The children before never were forced to do anything, now they are forced to live if they wish to live. They always have a choice between life and death- it is the fear that drives them to do what they are doing right now: to live is to suffer. 

      My house is located somewhere around the rural part of the world. Speaking of world, the world is only part of the world. My limit to my word is the limit to my world, and perhaps this is why these two words “word” and “world” are very similar. I was trying to describe the place where I lived in right now, the world. However, every night when I just came up with a new word to describe a word to describe it I forget about it. Only that I cannot remember and I can never write it down on a paper. I instantly forget that word when I start to think about it. (Please do read this part ple..)

      As usual, I walk out of the house and lock my door. I set up some bobby traps for some savages who try to steal my food. However, the traps that I had right now kills people, which helps me to get some more food. Although the meat they carry is a bit salty and dehydrated, I suppose everyone eats meat right? When I was young, I tasted different fish. Some fish’s meat was delicious because they eat vegetables, but some are really disgusting and I can even find more dead bodies of fishes in the bigger fish that I just caught. 

      Anyway, I got some important things to do today as I always have a dream to be safe again. I need protection: in reality, the world like such is really not gonna keep me alive for some years without a very powerful group of people holding together. I assume it is the only way to win and survive. And only with survival, my dream shall live on: I never thought this was something that I will say but I want to restore a government where no one will get hurt, but I will never allow my kingdom to be equal, ever! I thought a lot when I was dreaming, I swear I cried when I dreamed about it, tears fell down on the bed and I can hardly wash away the salty smell. A world that people have to be equal in the idea of diversity will not really work: I imagined a strong man who is stupid and a handicapped man who is smart. The strong man will always physically bully the handicapped and get something out from it. The handicapped man, although smart, will die. A equal world never works because the reason the world I am in right now. We put money into some stupid shark that eats your money and you can get his saliva in return; why did we do such thing? We used to have a concept of money and it was everything in my old world. We wished to keep our materials safe from danger, but from whom? Everyone was responsible for such an idea, if just have the simple trust between tools and man then banks would never exist- we will all put some money inside our houses or on the floor of a public street because no one would steal your money.

      Today, however, we never steal money as well. In such a chaotic world, the definition of money was lost from that day where a snap was heard from above. I must, therefore, find a powerful clan filled with people that help each other and protect each other. Maybe a clan so perfect never existed, or it will cost me everything to get in there. I still have a past technology from my old world. It is just amazing I can still eat some toast every morning. Strangely, the electricity supply was still there. I believe as if one of the families owned it and offered the workers some protections to generate electricity. On my way to the meeting, I saw a child lost its arm but asking everyone for food. The poor people did not care; the rich people gave him some; the barbarian gave him an ax on the face and grabbed the food and drink from the blood. I behold but never a word I claim. As in this world, I am not the ruler, I have no right to say that the cannibal was wrong; he has his families and people perhaps, he just wanted to see tomorrow’s sunlight as fear made him do it. Fear made me do my action, fear made him do his killing, and fear made the sun die.

In this world, its to kill or be killed (Author notes: a citation from Undertale). I had seen enough and heard enough shouting. I am almost there as my steps on the sand faded by the storm of the wind. I walk. I saw. I run. I shut the door. And I am shocked...

“Why did the developer make an anarchy update to civilization VIII?”

“I don't know John, maybe it is a good one never seen before?”

“Alright I had enough, this country just doesn't work, which family should I invest in? The Barbarians, The Order or WuDi?”

“My friend, the point of this new update is for you to experience how to rule an anarchy country, not for you to rule it... did I just repeated myself?”

“Why yes, of course, you did, because everyone wanted a government isn’t it, you silly.”

“Okay.”

“How about our old world, do we just let it go? I mean I have the saves I can just turn it back right now...”

“Keep the save, but I really want to see how this is going to end. I consider it good opportunity to understand anarchy. Or at least his point of view of anarchy.”

“I knew you would say that, well, we shall see about it later, but which faction you want to join?”

“If a man not able to mind up then it shall sit down.”

“Fine...”

You decide which faction he joins, that is if you want to continue this series. 

I will improve my writing skill next time, and please give more criticism than compliments. Show the parts where I can really improve on down in the comment section. 

Thank you very much for reading!

[pautassiumposts]

One-way friends (This story is just prose, so many things are kind of unrelated)

We have heard of many important factors of a friend, and surely, I should not be baby feeding people the importance of friendships correct? We always have some friends; believe or not, we often talk to a lot of people, but we are only doing so to wait for our turn to speak instead of listening to them. This is just immoral to just talk without listening. However, a true friend would always talk never much but the need to listen.

(Sorry, I sounded like condemning people for a second there I just wished a strong opening) 

One night, I was also on a Uber with my parents(note I said also because of the Skunk was also writing about the Uber, and her article indeed inspired me to do this article). I was intimidated by the atmosphere: the lights were gloomy; the forest was covered in black mist that sheers my heart; the windows were reflecting my greatest fear but it presented it with a “void of understanding”. Lightings effect of a theatre were undeniable as dark, yet the car driver remained a rather controversial look on the facial expression that he has. Accordingly, a look like such is as if surprised, but it was more complicated than simply surprised wouldn’t it? Freud would agree with me that the latent content is what I am truly looking for this driver is out of my mind and even beyond my expectations. He was cold, physically that is, and greeted us with a credible phrase that is very American such as “How you doing?” when he just expected a simple answer like “good”. 

However, this driver is so special that I could not forget about him today. So out of ordinary and exceeded the limit between “I just met you today”. I could feel the deep and matured friendship between us strangely growing. I rode the shotgun, which a normal sane man would do as I am the only one from the family who actually speak English, took out my destination, in addition to my phone number, to confirm with him that I am the true client. He then smiled at me, menacingly. As if he was about to kill me, but that was merely my hallucination of dreadfulness. I am, in fact, a very sensitive person to do work. It was indeed a disadvantage, it makes me start to feel things that I should not even imagine. My philosophy, in contrast, became much more complex because of such personality- as if I can always consider the inconsiderable at a young age. The driver was merely just smiling innocently. He started a chat with the most awkward way possible “ How are you?”

I expected nothing less than this. As the taxi drivers in China are either graduates who cannot find jobs or people who never know how to speak in an interview. I replied, he started talking about his life around the states and his dream of traveling. At first, I thought he was merely joking or it is his “American Dream”. However, I noticed his financial income by observing the car itself - the windows and the engine of the car was clean and nice. No clouds of dust or scratches, this shows me that either he loves to wash cars and is talented at driving or he spends money on them. He has a very weird photo stuck between the top and the air conditioner. This photo shows that he is renting with some friends in a very comfortable environment. On top of that, he is wearing cloth that is unusual - it is Champion with self-serving annotations on the cloth. I can tell from the smell of him is not any homeless non-hygienic dirt, but soft sweet-smelling fabric. Therefore, he must at least be a high mannered person. And where I usually learn manners from? Expensive schooling and rich friends who learned their manners. And indeed, he was a high earning working class. He works for the press and makes publish; an editorial role for the company. he is a part-time worker for Uber. He loved to get extra money in his income. His financial position is totally able to travel around the world. Because he has the money already saved up to do so, but he needs a vacation. He still did not find the love of his life yet and no children for him. He is a man of 30s, a strongly yet educated. He could be deceiving me the whole time just to get more respect from his customers, whereas behind our eyes he is also one of the “Honest Kings”. However, the friendship between us was weird; I called for the wrong destination at first. At this point, he would use the Uber system and he will benefit from my mistake by earning an extra 15 US dollar. However, he instead offered me an alternative path to the hotel for 10 dollars without the promise of Uber. As an insane man, I incredibly trusted him. On the final way to my hotel, he revised me something that I have learned from a universal philosopher adored religion, as it was never the reason of conflict but to resolve one instead, it is also one of the most ancient ones as well - Buddism. Since I was little my master always reminded the old sayings of it. “Everything is nothing, nothing is everything”. What a fool I am not realizing such an important term, unbelievably more ignorants kept on neglecting this simple yet controversial term is the true meaning of life. He told me a story about himself traveling to New York, he expected really nothing at all - never even booked a hotel. In contrast, he managed to spend his 10 days in New York happily without one complaint. Honestly, I would already feel dubious about the hygiene of the toilet. To him, it was the start of understanding such a term. Living is without belief to think, to praise silence is to forgive violence, not to hate it. Hate was the cause of all the noise and violence, we can use more violence to suppress violence, or we can just simply accept that we always have violent thought, but the forgiveness was the hardest part. This Uber driver reminded me of many Buddist religion morals that were reminded into my ears.

However, I compromised myself with such knowledge in hand, and I would try not to forget about him. Yet, remember him was very hard as time, like a knife, tortures me as it moves around my neck. Even if I really forget him it is ok, because I forgive the violence within me. This violence was brought by time, but time is always giving me the “present”. My wrath can be converted to do something else that helps others. This is why you will always see me picking up trashes that was not thrown by me at all. Because I realized that if I learn how to change certain things into something else - the world would be peaceful and violence will be forgiven but never forgotten. This driver truly showed me things even till the end of our friendship: he showed me the meaning from the movie “fight club” “One-way friend”’s the true meaning. One way friend makes your travel interesting, but however you try to think of him unless he is you, you will always forget him. Nevertheless, forget is never forgive, vice versa. I forgive my violence, but did I ever forgot violence? Never, not on a day of me alive. Violence existed everywhere, the best I can do is not to provoke it and try to make other people understand that this is not something that we should forget but to understand. We need to know the sources of violence - noise. Noise creates more and more violence. Eventually to a point where humans bear no more and emotions took control over your reason. Then that is when we animal. 

Remember this my friends “Violence is everywhere, forgive, not to forget.”

[pautassiumposts]

When all Soviet soldiers look the same

Date 1985/ May/ 24th. Ladies and Gentlemen! We have finally our own unique ability to create our own soldiers for the Great Mother Russia! We are finally invincible for the sake of God! Our project - cloning #223 has finally achieved success and healthy cloning. Current testing shows that the clones not only look but also react and think almost the same under all circumstances. However, one potential danger is that the clones might become less and less unintelligent and they will become almost machine-like human that can only follow orders. Perhaps it will be exactly what we needed. Right now #223 can be duplicated in too many uses for war, as long as we have the original copy of the clone, as you might know, the clones contain certain DNA that cannot be copied by the ADEM (atomic duplication examine mechanic) Therefore, we need some help with keeping the subject healthy and strong. We can win this Afghanistan war!

However, note that these soldiers should not be used in certain battlefield; as weird as it might sound- none of then knows how to swim. We have tried multiple times on our test to teach the original prototype to swim then duplicates the DNA, it still doesn’t work. We believe is because certain DNA that needed to be added for the examination process interfere with the part of the brain’s development process to do certain actions. However, to compensate such deficiency, we have made them all temporarily none-respiratory. It means that they do not require what normal human needs to live - certain oxygen to react to glucose and create the energy they need to move. Now, they can live with only carbons. It has nothing related to photosynthesis. It is rather a reaction for a process of bonding carbon with some degree of water (steam more likely) to create energy (Yes, it will produce high concentrated alcohols as the product of this chemical reaction.) In this case, we are allowed to create over-drive for a soldier. It is possible for a group of them all consume some graphite and some steam. They can have a ton of biochemical energy for them to repair, move and to think (even they are a little mentally disabled). One best point of them is that we have genetically manipulated their brain functionality. This means we have total control of their brain; we have made them not fearful of their death. They can literally do anything you want them to do. 

Nevertheless, this project is still under the BETA mode, recommending using them for major campaign. However, we do recommend to test it as soon as possible!

Looking forward to our victory!

[pautassiumposts]

When all Soviet soldiers look the same

Date 1985/ May/ 24th. Ladies and Gentlemen! We have finally our own unique ability to create our own soldiers for the Great Mother Russia! We are finally invincible for the sake of God! Our project - cloning #223 has finally achieved success and healthy cloning. Current testing shows that the clones not only look but also react and think almost the same under all circumstances. However, one potential danger is that the clones might become less and less unintelligent and they will become almost machine-like human that can only follow orders. Perhaps it will be exactly what we needed. Right now #223 can be duplicated in too many uses for war, as long as we have the original copy of the clone, as you might know, the clones contain certain DNA that cannot be copied by the ADEM (atomic duplication examine mechanic) Therefore, we need some help with keeping the subject healthy and strong. We can win this Afghanistan war!

However, note that these soldiers should not be used in certain battlefield; as weird as it might sound- none of then knows how to swim. We have tried multiple times on our test to teach the original prototype to swim then duplicates the DNA, it still doesn’t work. We believe is because certain DNA that needed to be added for the examination process interfere with the part of the brain’s development process to do certain actions. However, to compensate such deficiency, we have made them all temporarily none-respiratory. It means that they do not require what normal human needs to live - certain oxygen to react to glucose and create the energy they need to move. Now, they can live with only carbons. It has nothing related to photosynthesis. It is rather a reaction for a process of bonding carbon with some degree of water (steam more likely) to create energy (Yes, it will produce high concentrated alcohols as the product of this chemical reaction.) In this case, we are allowed to create over-drive for a soldier. It is possible for a group of them all consume some graphite and some steam. They can have a ton of biochemical energy for them to repair, move and to think (even they are a little mentally disabled). One best point of them is that we have genetically manipulated their brain functionality. This means we have total control of their brain; we have made them not fearful of their death. They can literally do anything you want them to do. 

Nevertheless, this project is still under the BETA mode, recommending using them for major campaign. However, we do recommend to test it as soon as possible!

Looking forward to our victory!

[pautassiumposts]

The controversy of the Western Goddess God was one reason why we chose to live, to continue tomorrow and believe that he can judge us as one of the good men then we go to heaven and enjoy our ever afterlife. Maybe God exists for many reasons, for instance, Blaise Pascal believed that God exists because we knew such an all-knowing, all-good and all-powerful being from the beginning of the civilization. He must have existed for the human to learn some abstract things for 5500 years. Therefore, we should believe in God and he will lead us to heaven. Blaise Pascal also stated that: as a reasonable gambler (Not the frantic type), we will want the highest chance of winning and minimize the things we lose. On the same scale, our life is a gamble game – If God existence is 50/50, then if we chose not to believe him then we will live our life well and suffer under the boiled water of inferno. In contrast, if we did chose to live a lifestyle that we pray to god every Sunday and Saturday; we will get a painful life but good heaven afterward. It seems very reasonable for us to believe in God no matter if he existed or not as believing in him will allow you to lose nothing more than your life, but not believe God’s existence can bring the worst you wanted – living under the fire of hell. As much as it seems powerfully reasonable, yet the theory forgot about the types of religion and especially the fact that God will reject the hypocrites who just wanted to gamble to heaven. Therefore, the theory is still not as convincing. Furthermore, there are people who believed that God existed because the intricate level of the universe is so high that a mortal being cannot create. Not only it is intricate and complicated, no matter what happens it finally receives a balance. It requires infinite calculations and equations to solve this world filled with mistakes. Therefore, whatever that thing looked like or feels like, it will be no one but God himself. Overall, there are killings and massacre about God’s existence. However, I believe that if we believe in God and it makes our life happy, perhaps we should believe in it just for the sake of our self.

[pautassiumposts]

Free choice

Free choice

My since my tuber post is a free choice. So I will talk about the big deal of free choice today with everybody. Free choice is more specifically known as Free Will. Which is the freedom of closing your action? Some people believe that it is unimportant to talk about free will and we all have some degree of free will. Now here is the problem, if you wish you want to buy a subscription to the newest diary report for writing your long term research paper, which one of the following would you buy?

Plan A: All the 1000+ resources for all of the packages in paper version delivered to your house. $159.99

Plan B: 1500+ resources that are a one-year subscription and it will be digital version only. $169.99

Plan C: One-year subscription with 3 months added for free, along with both digital and papered version delivered to your house. You will also be enjoying our brand new service of key highlight for it can easily help you read the article. On Sale $149.99  Originally $225.38

A reasonable person would pay for plan C. Because it makes so much sense: you have all the services and longer subscription with a cheaper price right? However, it should be also obvious now that the company is expecting you to buy plan C.

Take a moment and think, is it possible that the first two choices were obviously bad compared to the third choice. Not only it is more expensive and it seems to be very inefficient. It is not as if you do not have the free will to buy A and B, despite a very poor decision, it is because your reasonable brain is telling you that plan A and B are not worthy than C. The company is, therefore, using your reason to pay for Plan C and earn your $149.99.

In some degree, we sacrifice our free will for the goods of living inside a society. For example, sometimes when you want to play games with other people but you need to do your homework. You will need to repress such a desire for us to learn knowledge. And only with the idea of knowledge, we can earn this digital idea of money. And in this society, money and consumerism are the kings and queens. Ergo, if we want to live with a safe and sound house where people are not trying to kill you: live in the society and give up your free will and just do what we should be doing.

[pautassiumposts]

The things I carried