words are dead and i killed them @paxamgay - Tumblr Blog

oh it's gonna be a day

#delete later #i fell asleep thinking about the roof and now i'm thinking about it again #i'm not ever gonna get better am i

yesterday was okay so of course today i feel like i'm going out of my goddamn mind

#d speaks #it's like the same staticky manic feeling but Bad(tm)

when is it gonna stop feeling bad

#d speaks #i don't even know what it is anymore #i don't know the last time i felt good #any time i start to i either get smacked by something else or i end up just waiting for the other shoe to drop #so what's the point #i don't want to feel bad anymore

how early is too early to be drinking on a sunday

#d speaks #delete later #i'm not but i'm considering it

this is going to be a problem

#d speaks #my need to *****#dont want it to be but i am. hm. not in total control of myself rn ig #delete later

ignore

#d speaks #delete later #it's not great when i think about work and immediately want to not be sober #it's also not great that i'm currently stuck in a 'what if something happens and i'm not there' cycle #not great that i'm scared something's going to happen #not great that things are currently feeling like they did around 2015 again #and i can't really do anything about it #not great that i'm currently 'stick it out long enough to make sure they're okay' and then there's just a big ol' question mark after #i know what the implication is #there used to be something there and now i don't know if that's still an option or i'm even good enough to take it anymore so there's just #the implication of something else

think i'm just gonna keep drinking

#d speaks

"yeah you can come with us to go christmas food shopping but actually we're not going to tell you we're going until we're out the door and also ask you to watch the cat who just had surgery so fuck you if you had your own plans to do your own shopping"

#d speaks #whatever fine i know i'm a shit person to be around anyway #the one day we're all off

#d speaks #i dont know what to do about the pit of dread #i feel staticky and like i'm gonna vibrate out of my skin #i can't be here i need to be somewhere else

can everyone else please leave the house so i can fuckin lose it in peace

#d speaks #i just need to eat something and i'll calm down but there's like. nothing i can just grab #and the roommate's home so i'm not gonna just. make something #bc there's also not a lot i could just. make.#and in the meantime i can't bring myself to ask the sister if the check's gone through so i can get some cash so i can go get something #so i guess i'll just fuckin die instead #or eat the last piece of shitty bread with some shitty peanut butter bc that's all i got #it's what's expected anyway

i just wanna get drunk and eat a fuck ton of mcdonalds and i can't do EITHER bc my sister isn't home and she's the one with access to my money atm since we were waiting for the check to process so what am i supposed to do??? just deal with myself??????

#d speaks #i know i just need to ride this shit wave out but it's HARD and i just want to LET GO #delete later #if this is caused by my period again i'm gonna cut my ovaries out

#d speaks #delete later #i wanna ***

i keep telling myself that i just need to do this long enough to make sure they're okay but i don't know what comes after that

#d speaks #at first it was 'go home' and now it's just. static.#i should be more worried about that but instead i'm just resigned to whatever happens

lillyrosaura

There’s a website where you can learn ASL (American Sign Language) on your own, free and it’s a 31 Day program! The woman on there, her name is Rochelle Barlow, she runs the site and she actually is a homeschool teacher and teaches ASL. I am passing this on to some of you guys cause most of y’all on here is open-minded and curious and it is something important to learn.

I truly believe this site is helpful for some people who can not afford to going to ASL classes, or someone like me that just enjoys learning something new. This site will help with that. Once you sign up you will put in your email address and Rochelle sends you emails on tips on how to sign, gives you practice sheets, and gives you your weekly videos. And its all online. No need to paying for anything. (Unless if you want to she has something very different to this program)

IMO and yes, this site is really amazing and is important because you never know if someone who is deaf or HOH needs help, if you end up losing your hearing ability this is something you will at least have on the back of your head, and it is just like any other language and should be taught.

whisperanzarose

The link has been updated: https://aslrochelle.com/start-here

harringtonlovebot

a few things -

1. tomorrow w the election results, realize that many votes were mailed in and will be counted until the end of november (x). tomorrow will not have a definitive winner. it’ll be a projection. it seems that a lot of mail in ballots are democratic party votes, so keep your head up unless there’s some kind of massive landslide.

2. voter intimidation is real and i would expect it to be pretty bad at the polls tomorrow. if you experience or witness voter intimidation, please call 1-866-our-vote (1-866-687-8683) to report it. this number calls the national voter protection hotline and they can send federal investigators as well as local law enforcement to help. it’s a good practice to record any voter intimidation that you see at the polls and write your account and report it to local law enforcement, the ACLU, local news, etc. save this evidence in a place that you will not lose it and cc yourself on any emails you send to ensure you do not lose it too.

2a. if possible, vote with a friend or family member.

3. if you are uncertain about your voter status, have not gotten a response that your mail-in ballot has been processed, or if you are booted from the polling line for xyz reasons, please make sure you grab a provisional ballot. idaho, minnesota, and new hampshire unfortunately do not do provisional ballots, but all other 47 states do. as per the linked website, it is a federal law in these states to give voters provisional ballots. quote, “If an individual declares that such individual is a registered voter in the jurisdiction in which the individual desires to vote and that the individual is eligible to vote in an election for Federal office, but the name of the individual does not appear on the official list of eligible voters for the polling place or an election official asserts that the individual is not eligible to vote, such individual shall be permitted to cast a provisional ballot....” if your state gives them and you cannot vote regularly, get one of these!

4. if you live in a large city and expect lines, make sure you dress for the weather and bring a snack or two!

5. some states will allow you to declare an emergency ballot if you are sick on election day. if you’re feeling under the weather, check if your state will allow you to have one.

6. here are the tips the CDC has for voting during the pandemic so that you can protect yourself at the polls.

7. TIME magazine has a really great q&a article for other questions you may have tomorrow!

8. please take care of yourself. avoid social media and the news if you need too. hang out with people in your bubble and try to do something to distract yourself if you’re worried about the results!

i hope some of these links have helped and please feel free to share.

goatpolice-deactivated20250128

#🙃🙃🙃

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words are dead and i killed them