When should you report a bad therapist?
Sometimes people have bad experiences with therapists.Ā
Every profession has its fair share of people who just shouldnāt be there, and people who arenāt good at their jobs. Even great therapists have off-days, or periods when theyāre feeling stressed and overworked. Sometimes a client and a therapist just donāt click - maybe one client really needs a very formal therapist, and a different client needs a therapist who shows them memes and agrees that their mom is a total bitch. Not every client and every therapist are a match, and having frustrating or negative experiences is normal when youāre starting out in therapy.Ā
But not all bad experiences are normal.Ā
Thereās a huge power imbalance between therapists and their clients, and as a result, some therapists can get away with hugely unethical behaviour for years because no one comes forward to report them. Itās not always obvious when a therapist or psychologist has done something unethical, especially if you donāt know what therapy is supposed to be like. But if your therapist has done any of the following things, itās absolutely not normal:
Asking you on a date, making sexual advances toward you, or making sexual comments about your appearance. This is absolutely unacceptable, and itās the number one reason that psychologists lose their licenses. Therapy is supposed to be a safe space for you, and a therapist showing any kind of sexual or romantic interest in you is not okay.Ā
Implying that they would like to date you after you finish with therapy, or asking you to switch therapists so that they can date you. This isnāt okay either. Dating former clients is still against the ethical rules of the profession except in very specific circumstances, and itās another common reason for psychologists to get investigated.Ā
Revealing confidential information about you to your parents after youāve turned 18 (unless you are seriously suicidal or homicidal). Parents are entitled to some information about your therapy sessions when youāre a teenager, but the day you turn 18, that door slams shut, hard, and mommy and daddy are no longer entitled to know anything without your permission. A therapist who breaks this confidentiality has committed a serious ethics violation and should be reported.Ā
Trying to socialize with you and be your friend outside of therapy. Your therapist should not be inviting you over for a barbecue, adding you to their personal Facebook page or asking you to babysit their kids. Even if the two of you get along famously, therapists have to be able to set professional boundaries, and therapists who cannot do this should not be practicing.Ā
Telling you to go off your medication. Itās okay for you and your therapist to discuss eventually getting off medication as a possible goal of yours, in conjunction with your doctor. But no therapist should ever, ever, ever tell you to just stop taking your medication. They arenāt qualified to give any advice about medication, and this is a huge violation of the rule to do no harm.Ā
Oversharing about their own lives. Itās fine for therapists to self-disclose from time to time in order to make you more comfortable and strengthen their relationship with you, but itās not okay for them to share so much that they make you uncomfortable or make the sessions about them. Itās okay if you know that your therapist is divorced and loves Guns nā Roses; itās not okay if you know your therapist has a cuckold fetish and is struggling to decide if they should leave their spouse.Ā
Trying to make decisions about your life on your behalf. Your therapist should be helping you think through your life problems in a logical, reasonable way so you can make your own decisions about whatās best for you (with the possible exception of urging you to leave an abusive relationship). They cannot make decisions for you. A therapist commanding you to quit your job, drop out of school or move to a different apartment is overstepping.Ā
Becoming hostile or harassing you if you attempt to switch therapists. You have a right to switch therapists, period. A therapist can ask you your reasons for wanting to switch, or ask if they could do anything to make you more comfortable, but they shouldnāt be blowing up your phone like a clingy ex. A therapist who berates you, harasses you, or threatens you for trying to switch therapists is crossing a line.Ā
If youāve dealt with a mental health professional that you believe is behaving unethically or abusing their position, itās important that you let somebody know. Find out which organization accredits your mental health professional, and contact them to file a complaint. Getting therapy from someone is one of the most vulnerable positions that you can be in, and itās important that people who behave unethically are reported. You donāt have to tolerate bad behaviour from therapists. Itās okay to speak out.Ā
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