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@pending-wid
Date research.. 100% for research purposes. It’s key lime. 🤤
Today’s song, at least for me, is so Crowley it almost hurts. Vulnerability, fears of abandonment, desperation, anxiety of opening up.. etc. it’s all there.
Love this song.
Even if it hurts.
As with everything… it’s all personal perspective and interpretation.. amazing how art is like that, huh?

Fuck Carter Hart.
Go Carolina!
That is all.
Back to my regularly scheduled nonsense.
DAVID TENNANT Tries Scottish vs English Food | Snack Wars
Cough! Splutter! Thank you Steviesmithmakeup on instagram
Saw this and it reminded me of Crowley and how a lot of people seem to interpret Aziraphale’s little speech about Crowley being the best Angel.
I don’t believe that Aziraphale was saying that Crowley was just the best Angel. I think he was saying that he was the best of all of them. All of them in the room, currently, as well. Crowley was the best of them all because he asked questions. Because he cared. He didn’t fall into lockstep and follow orders. He wanted to understand so he could be better, make things better. Crowley truly believed in what he was creating. Crowley was GOOD. While the others were simply drones that just did as they were told without ever questioning if what they were being asked to do was truly GOOD. Aziraphale needed him to know that he wasn’t wrong to his core and unloveable. He needed him to know that he most definitely deserved to be loved.
Crowley may have been absolutely right all those times he said he wasn’t nice. But he was at heart always GOOD.
To Fall was to be cast out of Heaven. It was a punishment. Kind of like being disowned for simply trying to be the best version of yourself.
I don’t have my notes with me. But I guess you could say that Crowley was also right that he was not a good angel because he didn’t stay in lockstep. But he’s also not a very good demon either…
Crowley is actually the most human character I’ve ever seen. Without being an actual human. I’d try to explain that but I need to go for now.
Song of the day:
Taking a moment to appreciate my friend that was reading the the back of the Good Omens card game:
“The Crowley card says to ‘Flip Aziraphale Face Down’ fuckin’ bet he does and often… odd they put that in a game for 14+ though.”
Today’s song is:
I apologize for this one. Bummed me right out when random pulled it just now but it’s also a really fuckin’ good song.
Explained to friends that also don’t watch much television what happened at the end of Good Omens.
Friends’ reaction:
“That’s how it ended?”
“That’s fucked up.”
“That doesn’t make any sense… was the bookshop in Detroit? Because that might make anyone choose a do-over.”
Anywho… I’m gonna try reading this new book to give my brain something else to think about for a few minutes.
Today’s song just a happy, sappy love song. I mean, it was written for the lead vocalist’s wife so… there’s that… but I’m about to go park my ass in front of the ocean so I want to leave you with some that might inspire some happy, sappy fics…
That first time you wash your hair after changing the color… went from black and blue to a natural and red.
Yes, I put those pictures in the wrong order…
Obviously, Crowley plays a role in the switch but...
I like red things.
I’m forever blessed to have seen van Gogh’s The Starry Night a few times. And that it’s just hop, skip, and jump away if I still had the patience for NYC.
what would have been a satisfactory ending:
they scrapped all of [redacted]'s original script and started over
it was light and humorous all the way through
az was not treated as dumb or naïve for taking that place in heaven
az and crowley made up in the beginning of the film and were a team trying to stop the end times for the rest of the finale
the message would have been "we need to fix what is broken, not burn it to the ground"
Az and Crowley would show some form of affection towards each other, like a hug or maybe a kiss
Az and Crowley decided they didn't need god anymore, nor follow her rules
the metatron would have been dealt with properly
what would have been a PERFECT ending:
Az gave Crowley hope by explaining that they just need to fix what's broken, not start over, and Crowley admitted Az had a good reason for going to heaven in the first place
Az and Crowley say "I love you"
Az and Crowley being pretty much "useless", while jesus and the humans are doing the important bits by "being fundamentally people"
the plot was solved when heaven and hell teamed up against humanity (including Az and Crowley who's now explicitly on "their own side: humanity's side.") and Team Earth convinced Team Celestial how stupid this whole charade had always been
god had NOT been controlling everything this whole time and had always been more like a narrator of the universe, rather than one affecting the story
everyone had always had free will
Woke up and the first song that played, because I always start my day with some music, was Tonight’s Alright by Justin LaPoint, and I’ve listened to this song hundreds of times… it’s a fantastic song, a favorite of mine, but today it really hit me how much it feels very Crowley and Aziraphale.
My executive functioning is giving me the middle finger right now. So, needless to say, nothing that needs to be packed up for my trip tomorrow is happening. Guess I’m not close enough to the deadline for it to give a fuck.
I do have books ready to go for the trip though. But I can’t read in a moving vehicle. For me to watch something, it needs to have something or someone that already holds my interest involved with it for me to even consider it. That said… any suggestions on things to watch?
Things I’ve watched or still rewatch because apparently that is an anxiety coping mechanism will be in the tags. Well, just the ones that will give you a sense of the mood I’m in… I am open to suggestions of things that have an actor or actress that’s from something I’ve listed. Even if it’s not the same vibe…
Guess what season of something probably won’t get rewatched as part of that anxiety coping mechanism?
Fuck you too Instagram
The notion that complete annihilation and replacement is the only true way to make an impactful difference does not sit well with me. I will be the first to tell you that the systems are absolutely broken. They are being manipulated and twisted by those with power and control to maintain that power and control. But if complete destruction, absolute annihilation is the only valid option? Then why do I show up at work everyday? It’s means what I clocked in to do everyday is absolutely pointless and I’d be better off just banging my head against the fucking wall.
Granted if really fucking feels like that would be more productive some days but then there’s days like today… when you generally have a life changing impact for someone… but I digress…
Burning down systems doesn’t require absolute annihilation of everything. As someone that has forced change within a system, by using a little bit of fire, I know it can be done. And it honestly feels so much better than when you just… end something… because it wasn’t working. And it’s usually replaced with something that doesn’t feel quite right. Doesn’t work the same, and isn’t the fix that it was thought to be…So much gets lost.
And don’t get me started on the fact that a lot of good art, music, literature…everything… that comes from the struggle, the fight against the broken and twisted systems… THAT is absolutely worth saving and keeping.
There was a lot more fire and venom behind this when I started but I’m sparking one so… I’m mellowing out rapidly.
I really don’t think that was the right play… and honestly I feel like the self sacrifice for the good of humanity move is lazy writing.
Song(s) of the day:
Pulling this one from the vinyl collection…
“Everything I Own” - Bread
And I because honestly just think people need to listen to David Bowie more often and this is my favorite…
“Modern Love” - David Bowie
Adam Savage famously said on MythBusters: "I reject your reality and substitute my own.”
And that’s what I’m planning to do with the Good Omens finale… while I’m staring at the ocean next week doing a brain reset.
Oh, and someone in what I’m currently writing refers to Crowley as “the danger noodle from the world’s first botanical garden”. 
Otherwise… I got nothing tonight. I just… I need to go find some happiness. 🌱💨
I’ll leave you with this one, song of the day that vaguely made me think our demon and angel:
Trouble - Kevin Devine
Random work thought: David Tennant as a person helps to renew my faith in humanity while everyone else I come in contact with actively tries to destroy it.