[woofiero]

bros majestic

[pepelafritz94]

I’ll never stop loving this man.

[pepelafritz94]

The thought of my partner looking at other women behind my back instead of coming near me when I spent years begging for it is just embarrassing. I’ll never forgive it.

[pepelafritz94]

I am miserable with nobody to talk to.

[pepelafritz94]

I feel so lonely

[pepelafritz94]

Nobody would care if I disappeared. It doesn’t take long for people to snap back into routine and then you just become a memory.

[pepelafritz94]

I feel so lonely. I just want someone to hug and kiss. I want to feel something.

[pepelafritz94]

I need to meet new people. I thought having a baby would open me up to a world of other mums, attending groups and making friends but as I don’t have any of that I now realise how truly lonely my life is.

[pepelafritz94]

Social media isn’t the be all or end all but damn I can’t remember what it’s like to have a boyfriend that appreciates me enough to post about us. It’s the little bits of effort that count. Showing me off to the world used to mean something to me and I thought it was standard in relationships until I got into one I don’t feel secure in. People ask why I stay, because I hope that one day I’ll be enough. How pathetic is that. I wasn’t enough 8 years ago. Why the fuck would I be now lol.

[pepelafritz94]

I’d rather be dead than going through this pain.

[pepelafritz94]

I feel so empty. So alone.

[pepelafritz94]

Starting to realise I want more I shouldn’t have to settle for less. I want a man that wants to propose to me without being asked, someone that can express how they are feeling, someone I can trust and not worry about being good enough all the time and someone who is in love with me and proud of me enough that they can actually show me off to the world regardless of whether they use social media or not. Im tired of being jealous of other couples and never having a good word to say about my own. Also tired of being questioned by people as to why my partner and I never post about eachother ever and that I look single to everyone. I feel lonely and I realise it’s because I’m missing the romance, affection and trust that comes with a normal relationship. Along with desperately wanting a baby I want to be with someone that wants the same things as me and will work hard for it and contend with all my fertility issues but still make the effort. It’s all about effort.

[pepelafritz94]

I spend all my nights crying myself to sleep, waking up crying and feeling a hole in my chest. When will it end.

[pepelafritz94]

My life feels pointless. All I keep thinking about is the baby clothes I looked at, the bottles, the prams and cot I was stood over in the shops being promised that I’ll have all that soon. I’m so tired of being here. I’m so sick of being hurt and feeling loss.

[pepelafritz94]

I’ve never been this miserable. Reading back on previous posts on here makes me sad because I knew I could never have anything good.

[pepelafritz94]

Sometimes I miss the loving person I used to be. I no longer trust at all. The lies, ‘omitting of truth’ and bullshit I’ve had to pretend to believe over the years has just taken it out of me. I don’t want to be happy because every time I feel it something happens that crushes me again. It’s tiring. Never been torn down so many times. I don’t have the feeling of wanting to be affectionate anymore.

[pepelafritz94]

Just feels very clear to me now that I am not meant to be happy.

[pepelafritz94]

I am plagued with bad luck constantly. I’m fucking sick of it. If it’s not money, people dying, blood clots, job loss, someone driving into my car, being hurt by the person who’s meant to love me or people just genuinely treating me like shit then it’s being given a shimmer of hope for something I’ve wanted for 10 years being taken from me. I’m not meant to have anything nice, I’m not meant to be happy, not meant to feel secure and especially not allowed to have my own baby. I’d rather someone put me out of my misery as I’m done.