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June on the East Coast.•☆

➤Parings: Book!Percy Jackson x reader

➤Word count: 5’324

➤Warnings: very fluffy, one mention of death

“But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it”

𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛𐮛

It was well known in camp that you had been blessed with a green thumb by your mother, you could grow anything no matter how bazzar and it would be the most wonderful thing to exist in the Demeter cabin garden. The only thing your hands were useless for was writing, you could spell and had neat enough handwriting of course but what use was that when you couldn’t put them to good use? You knew people kept diaries, journals, whatever the writer preferred to call them. You have no one to blame really for your frustrations but yourself since you’re the one who had the brilliant idea of starting a journal, you had overheard one of the Apollo kids raving about how useful they were, writing down all your emotions or even simply explaining your day, the point was that it was yours, you could write down whatever you wanted and no one ever needed to know.

That’s why you were currently tucked into the corner of your bunk, journal resting snugly on your lap as anxiously you chewed on the end of your pencil, why was it so difficult to write something down? You could think in your head of all the things you wanted to say but why was it so damn hard to put into words? You had managed to get the date down at least. You knew what you wanted to write about but the idea of having your most raw thoughts become materialised felt so nerve wracking, it would be better if you could write them down and then throw it away, maybe toss them into the firepit while no one was looking. You had expressed all this to Mitchell last night during dinner, making sure to be quiet enough that no one could listen in on such delicate information, after playfully smacking him for laughing too loudly at your fear of someone finding your journal and pinning it up on the camp notice board (dramatic but a totally rational fear) you downed the rest of your cherry cola.

“what if you send your writings away!” he beamed, an idea that received an unimpressed stare in returned

“don’t give me that look! I’m being serious. Listen, obviously you won’t be sending away all your personal stuff but even just talking to someone about your day can help make you feel more comfortable opening up to people, just do it bit by bit” you pondered his words for a moment, you supposed that some sort of penpal could be nice, you wouldn’t have to deal with the embarrassment of stumbling over your words because you start to overthink and panic yourself, you just write down some simple stuff and send it away.

“a penpal wouldn’t be too bad” you said, still not fully convinced on the idea

“it would be great! I also already know who your penpal could be” his sing-song tone earned an eye roll

“oh do you?” you say sarcastically

“yes I do” he replied matter of factly “and I’m sure Percy-”

“absolutely not” you spew out instantly “I am not tellingPercyof all people my secrets-”

“it doesn’t have to be secrets remember? Just writing to him about your day and how things are going at Camp” he protested and you pulled a face, he was always so convincing, probably another one of his mother Aphrodite’s gifts.

“Percy probably won’t want to write letters of all things, he’ll probably be too busy with mortal things” you say weakly, you however, did not possess the skill of producing a good argument.

“you know he’d ditch any mortal things to talk to you, doesn’t he call you with Iris every Saturday afternoon?” you had forgotten you’d told him that

“he does but-”

“but what? If he has no issues taking time out of his day to call you every weekend religiously then he won’t mind taking another ten minutes to write you a letter” Mitchell said finally and you rested your head on your hand.

“fine, I’ll ask him” you rolled your eyes playfully at his triumphant grin. You sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, scoffing down more of your dinner before you’d have to head to the camp fire. “so..” Mitchell drew out, you glance over at him while still chewing, “what do you and Percy talk about when he calls? Does he tell you how much he misses you? I bet you two stare into each others eyes and-” you stand quickly from your seat and brush your hands against your shorts, hoping that your embarrassment isn’t evident on your face “ok conversation over-”

“I was just kidding!” he laughed, jumping up to join you quickly in your decent to the camp fire “but like does he actually say that or-”

“yeah he totally does!” you said with fake excitement “and he also tells me that he thinks your so nosy”

“I am not nosy! Simply curious” he said with a gasp as you finally catch up with the rest of the campers.

You stared at the paper for what felt like eternity, you had mentioned to Percy during your last call about the letters but quickly followed up that he didn’t have to do it if he didn’t want to, but of course being the selfless person he naturally is Percy agreed to it no problem, you didn’t mention why you wanted to start writing letters but he didn’t pry. Thats why you’re currently stuck in this situation, staring down at a page for at least half an hour while you think of how to start a letter, something most kids your age already know how to do. Writing ‘Dear Percy’ sounded far too formal and made you cringe, so you stuck with the casual and classic ‘To Percy’, good enough.

Eventually you decided that you should just ask Percy all the questions, you didn’t really know what to write about yourself. It was around half a page and probably contained a good few spelling mistakes but you decided to wake up early and send it off anyways, the only other people who could be wandering around this early would be the Apollo kids so it was the perfect way to get rid of the letter without all the curious questions. You had continued with your routine for the next couple of days with the letter glued to your thoughts, what if Percy thought it was stupid? What if it had gone missing in the post? What if he didn’t write back.

It arrived early the next morning, you ran frantically towards the big house to where Chiron had said it landed, snatching it quickly off the polished wood flooring you sprinted back to your cabin, ignoring your siblings protests of how early it was when you slammed the cabin door open and practically jumped into bed to read the letter. You stared at the smooth brown envelope for a moment, running the pads of your fingers of Percy’s name, you could tell he had taken the time to make it look neat and the thought made your heart flutter. You peeled the letter open as carefully as your eager hands would let you and let your eyes soak in Percy’s words, he asked about what was going on at camp and that it felt so old fashioned to be writing you letters, you couldn’t stop the grin on your face as you read through him explaining his days at school and how Sally had attempted to make blue pasta for dinner the day before. The letter ended with Percy mentioning that he accidentally made the water fountain explode and that Paul was trying to convince the school that he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your eyes travelled to the end of his letter that simply stated ‘miss you’ before signing his name, you sucked in a quiet gasp of air and thanked the gods that your siblings were fast asleep, giving you the privacy you needed to dramatically fall back against your sheets and hug the letter to your chest.

Maybe Mitchell's idea wasn’t too bad after all.

It took a couple more letters but you found that writing to Percy started to come naturally, you opened up about how you were doing at camp and that your archery skills were starting to improve, you ranted about your garden but criticised yourself after posting it because why would Percy want to read about your gardening skills? You were surprised to see how positively Percy responded to your ramblings about how successful your patch of radishes were that he was excited to see your work when he returned to camp that summer.

It was early Friday morning when you sat in the strawberry field, Apollo was making his beaming appearance across the sky and the daylight shined a golden hue against the plump red berries, you had taken to writing your letters to Percy away from your cabin, your siblings had become curious to who you were writing all those notes too and you felt this was the best way to insure your privacy. You twirled the pen around in your hands and stared down at the paper on your lap, it had been a month now since you and Percy had started exchanging letters and you felt more confident writing to him about your day truthfully, your feelings about certain things happening around camp and how you missed him. You swear you had never felt so many butterflies in your stomach when you sent off that letter, telling him that you wished he was here with you, or you with him, too be honest it frightened you because it sounded so sweet, so...couple-y. You weren’t really sure what you and Percy were, Mitchell said that it was obvious you both liked each other and that you just needed to bite the bullet and confess, which you reminded him was much easier said than done, but you knew he was right.

Well, you knew he was right on your part, you did like Percy, a lot. You only really grew close last summer at camp, both getting yourselves into a bit of trouble and being sent to clean the stables every other day together, surprisingly you managed to bond over those gross chores and become inseparable until Percy had to leave for school, you had never minded too much about being a year rounder up until that point. During that summer together you discovered a side of yourself you had never known, you felt more daring, willing to take risks and you took everything less seriously, being with Percy felt freeing. You had a habit of sneaking off in the middle of the night and meeting Percy down at the lake, he’d bring you around and show you what life looked like down there, it frightened you at first but once Percy promised theres no way you could drown with his air bubble you took the risk, and you were so glad you did. You spent ages down there with Percy, lounging in the calm air bubble and watching all the different fish swim by, Percy talked about home and how he’d be looking into the New Rome college for next year, something you were equally interested in. it wasn’t till you saw the streaks of light dance through the water that you and Percy resurfaced and swam back to shore, your mixed laughter filling the air as you quickly grabbed your sandy shoes and ran back to your cabins before someone spotted you.

You never realised how hard it could be to say goodbye, standing at the top of the hill in late August watching Percy double check that he had all his bags before turning to you, he stared at your form as if drinking the sight of you in, you felt your eyes sting with emotion and you looked down at Percy’s bags, you didn’t want him to see you cry.

“do you have everything?” you asked, clearing your throat after and looking back to Percy.

“yeah” he said with a small smile, he still hadn’t looked away from you, something you were hyper aware of, you nodded and picked at the end of your sleeve, not trusting your voice to hide the feelings you felt bubbling in your throat.

Percy’s quick steps towards you took you by surprise but you welcomed his embrace gratefully, melting into his arms and revelling in how snugly they wrapped around you, tight and secure.

“I wish I could stay” he said, voice muffled into your camp shirt, your arms snaked around his shoulders and you let your fingers run through the dark curls at the nape of his neck,

“I wish I could go” you replied honestly, you felt the imprint of Percys smile against your skin and your eyes squeezed shut at the feeling. “I’ll call you, ok? I promise” he said sternly, pulling away but keeping his arms wrapped around you and your heart stuttered at the position you were in, he was so close. You nodded and gave him a quick smile “you better” you said and pulled away from Percy, noting his small frown from the action. He grabbed his bags and gave you a wave before walking towards the camp boarder, your eyes welled with tears and you couldn’t look away from his retreating frame. He gave you one last look before leaving the camp, you let yourself cry then, you knew he was coming back, you knew this wasn’t goodbye forever, but why did it hurt so badly?

“it’s hard to watch someone you love leave you” your mothers voice spoke from beside you, you didn’t look at her though, you didn’t want her to see your tears.

“when will I get used to it?” you asked, deciding not to argue against her observation of your feelings.

“never” she replied honestly “it gets some what easier, but your heart will always feel the ache of their absence” you turned to look at her then, she out of anyone would understand to have someone taken away from her due to circumstance, you wiped your face self consciously.

You’re surprised when you feel her hand press against your cheek for a moment, it was warm and rough but held the gentleness of a mothers touch. The feeling is gone soon after and you left standing alone in the green waves, you turned to look back at camp half blood bathed in the evening light.

Breaking away from the memories of your mind you looked away from your page and back towards camp, people would wake soon so you’d better get writing before your private writing nook was private no more. You had decided to write two letters, you usually one that consisted of day to day life and questions on how his exams were going. You stilled you pen when you went to start your second, this one you knew was never to be seen by Percy, ever. Mitchell had said that the whole reason to write letters was to give your whirling mind a break and to spill all your feelings onto a page, something you had struggled with greatly so far, but it would be fine right? You write this letter and tuck it away safely in your pillow case never to be seen by eyes other than yours. You decided to write about the day Percy left, what you wish you had said instead of asking about his bags, his stupid bags. You wrote how you missed him being the first person you spoke to over breakfast in the mornings and how he was always the last person you’d wave goodnight to before going to bed, you missed his messy hair and perfectly green eyes, you missed how his face flushed red after laughing for so long, you missed talking about your future lives together in New Rome and how exciting it’ll be to be able to exist like mortals. You wrote how you wanted to go to New York and walk around times square with him, you’d never been before and Percy had promised to take you someday. You apologised that the only thing you could think to say when he left was if he had all his bags, because you didn’t care about the bags, selfishly you had hoped he left something important enough behind to come back, you told him you hated saying goodbye and you never wanted him to leave you for this long ever again. You finished by saying that you were sorry that you never knew the right words to say, and that if you could go back in time you would’ve just blurted out that you liked him, and that you would miss him more than any words could describe because maybe if your heart didn’t long for him so much you’d be able to write down how you felt.

You stared at the page in shock when you finished, Mitchell was right, it did feel a bit better to have all your thoughts slapped down on a page and away from the cage of your mind. Shouts of delight from camp made you quickly shove the letters into their respective envelopes and tucked into your jacket pocket, you ran quickly towards the dining area and sat down next to Mitchell, who by the side glances he was giving you could tell you had been up to something.

The day had been wonderfully warm, something you and Mitchell made good use of by sunbathing lazily on the lakeshore, lunch time and quickly come and gone and before you knew it your siblings and yourself had retreated to your cabins for the night, giggling away about the days events and trying to decide who was on cleaning duty tomorrow

“oh! You left your jacket down at the lake earlier” your sister Billie said before throwing the jacket over to you, you stared at it in shock, shit, how could you have left that around knowing what was in there? You hands raced to the pockets of your jacket but grasped nothing, oh the fates were cruel to you. You breath quickened and you turned back to Billie “did you find anything in the pockets?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady. She nodded absent mindedly and flopped down on her bed “yeah your letters to Jackson, don’t worry I threw them in the post for you already”

if the world could’ve burst into flames then and there you would’ve welcomed the warmth with open arms.

Percy was going to read the letter. He was going to read the letter and think you were some sort of love sick freak, he was going to read the letter and never write one back, would he even talk to you when he came back this summer? He’ll probably just walk right past you as if you meant nothing to him. You dragged your eyes away from Billie’s curious gaze and walked back over to your bed, laying down against the sheets with your back turned to your siblings, who thankfully had already retreated to their own bunks. The bundle of primroses sitting in the lopsided vase you made in the camp’s pottery class made you frown, being a child Demeter meant being an encyclopedia for all the unique flora around camp and those stupid primroses were currently teasing your already fragile heart. The primrose was a flower representing young affections and unrequited love. You flung the curtain shut, feeling sick to your stomach.

You spent the next day hiding away in your bunk, no one knew what that letter said but you felt like everyone would be able to see the shame painting all over your face, your siblings had already caught on that something was wrong but you waved them off with a fake cough, claiming you just felt a bit under the weather and you’d be back to normal in no time. The cabin was quiet, maybe staying inside was a bad idea. Your mind was racing with scenarios of Percy’s possible reaction to your letter, one that made a sob escape your throat was the thought of him laughing at it, what if he thought your letter was hilarious and showed other people? Pointing out particular parts that you poured your heart into. You knew it was silly, Percy’s one of the kindest guys at camp and you already know he’s been confessed to by loads of people over the years, and they all still speak positively of him so he must’ve let them down easy. The idea of it still eats away at you, you wouldn’t be able to handle it, him being laughing at your words probably to hide the embarrassment your confession brings him. A knock at your door tears you from your darkening mind and you yell out a weak come in, Mitchell cracks the door open hesitantly, swiping at vines that tangle in his styled curls, the motion brings a small smile to your face.

“I heard you’re diseased, being a good friend I came to make fun of you- are you alright?” his sarcastic tone was quick to change, no longer caring for the plants that drew towards him curiously as he crossed the room towards you. You nodded and wiped your cheek self consciously

“yeah I’m good” you said, Mitchell took a seat next to you on the bed with an unimpressed look

“if you’re so good then why do the plants next to your bed look like they’re about to disintegrate? Your green thumb gives you away”

the yellow tulips on your bedside table did look like they’d seen better days.

You give Mitchells comment a weak laugh, wincing slightly when you noticed his frown

“what’s going on with you? And don’t say your sick because thats bullshit, you don’t always have to put on a brave face you know, you’ve literally watched me vomit from crying after watching ‘When Harry Met Sally’” you nodded at that, the memory made stomach queazy, it was really hard to wash that out of the Aphrodite cabin’s faux silk carpet.

“you remember how you told me to write letters to Percy?” you said, picking nervously at the loose seam of your sweatpants

“you did it? Are you worried about how he’ll react? I’m sure it’ll be fine don’t worry about it”

“we’ve been sending each other letter’s for the last two months” you confess, the shocked look on Mitchells face makes you roll your eyes

“you little liar-”

“I haven’t lied about anything! I just didn’t explicitly state that I did it” your justification earns a small shove from Mitchell, the grin on his face lets you know that he isn’t truly mad at you. Mitchell opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off quickly “I accidentally sent Percy a letter that confessed my feelings for him”

If Mitchell looked shocked before he now looked like you’d grown two heads “no fucking way”

“I know, I’m an idiot” you sighed, Mitchells hand grabbing yours shifts your gaze back to him, were surprisingly, he looks the most serious you’ve ever seen him.

“you’re not an idiot, maybe this is a good thing” you’re the one to now look like he’s grown two heads

“are you crazy? This is horrible, Percy’s never going to speak to me again” you argued, how on earth could this be a good thing? Mitchell scoffed at your words

“he’d never ignore you and you know that, I think you’re just scared that this could become a real thing, it’s alright to be scared you know?” Mitchell spoke soberly, but his words made you feel defensive

“I’m not scared Mitchell, I just know Percy doesn’t feel the same-”

“stop it. it’s obvious he cares a lot about you” Mitchell retorts earnestly, but you shake your head much to his dismay and annoyance

“no it isn’t” you said while moving off the bed, Mitchell’s quick to follow

“look, we could argue about this fort hours cus’ gods know we’re both stubborn. But mark my words there will be a letter from that boy waiting for you in the big house tomorrow” Mitchell sighed

“just remember that it’s not just your feelings that are involved in this, I know things like this scare you but sometimes running away can cause more hurt than just facing it” with that Mitchell left you standing alone in cabin once more.

There was a letter waiting for you in the big house the next morning.

There was another one waiting for you a couple of days later, a week later you had a very annoyed Mr D banging on your cabin door, throwing the letters at you and mumbling about how he was going to start blocking Johnson’s letters soon. You gathered the letters as quickly as you could before throwing them into your bag as if they burned to the touch, before you could zip your bag closed your eyes found the letter dated two days after you had sent your last letter, you wondered if some sort of magic had been laced into it with how drawn to it you were. You reached into your bag and grabbed the letter, your hands felt heavy holding the letter. The sounds of your siblings shouts made you quickly shove the letter under your pillow.

“I heard your pen pal pissed off Mr D, now I wonder what he has to say that could be so important that he’s sending you multiply letters” Mitchells sarcasm is met with a kick to the leg under the dining area table, one he swiftly returns

“you do realise he’s gonna be here tomorrow, you can ignore those letters but you can’t ignore him”

“I know” you sigh, to be frank you’ve been trying to forget the fact that you’ll have to face the consequences of misplacing your jacket sooner than you’re comfortable with.

“your cabin will probably be the first place he goes when he gets here”

“you’re such a stress reliever you know that?” you said sarcastically, earning another kick to the leg.

You decided to skip the campfire tonight, making your way back to the Demeter cabin and grabbing the letter, you’ve been doing this for a few days now, staring at the letter as if it’s just going to start talking to you, you kept imaging Percy’s voice flowing from the pages to tell you how you were ‘such a good friend but definitely not girlfriend material’. You flipped the letter over and eyed the back, Percy was going to be here tomorrow morning whether you liked it or not, at least if you open this letter you can take his rejection in private instead of having to look him in the eye, the thought made you feel sick. The cabin was too risky to open it in, anyone of your siblings could decide to retire from the fire early and walk in on you sobbing into your pillow, with that embarrassing image in mind you grab the letter tightly and made your way over to the strawberry fields. Sitting among the berries helped calm your nerves slightly but your teeth still chewed worriedly at your bottom lip

“it’s just like taking a band aid off, quicker so it hurts only for a second” you mumble to yourself while fiddling with the letter, you ripped the envelope open and made out the beginning of Percy’s messy handwriting.

“you got my letters” the voice made you halt all movement, maybe you had gone crazy and the letters were actually talking to you.

Percy stood in front of you, he was dressed in his freshly ironed camp shirt and a pair of baggy blue jeans, his hair had grown out slightly since you’d last seen him and framed his face delicately. You watched as his eyes drifted across your body before landing back on your face, you hoped he couldn’t see the way your hands shook.

“what’re you doing here?” you finally managed to get out, gods you weren’t prepared for this

“did you read it?” he asked instantly, his voice steady in a way that didn’t help your nerves. You shook your head.

“Percy I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to send it”

Percy frowned, he walked towards you and gently took his letter from your shaking hands, sitting down beside you and unfolding the page. A crimson hue had bloomed across Percy’s face making his tan skin look even more gorgeous, you mentally noted how his freckles had already started to darken on his face. You sat in silence looking out towards camp, the fire was visible from the field and you could make out the other campers sitting around it. For once Percy had no witty comment, no sarcastic comeback to lighten the ever dulling mood that suffocated you terribly, was this a punishment of some kind? What god or goddess had you pissed off so badly that they decided your heart needed to be crushed in return?.

“Since I was twelve I’ve ben tasked with saving the world, and surprising I did it, twice. I’ve lost a lot of people I’ve cared about through the years. I can’t help but think of Charlie whenever I walk past the Hephaestus Cabin. I get lost in my head and imagine the life he could’ve had if I never existed to take it away from him” Percy’s voice was soft, the choked emotions of everything he’s ever felt.

“don’t say that” you whispered back sternly, chest hurting at the thought of Percy feeling so guilty for the actions of the gods, their actions took Charlie away, not him. Your hand reached for his and he was quick to accept it, the touch wasn’t uncommon between the two of you. His hand held yours firm and vulnerably, an unsaid plea to not let go just yet.

“I see you in everything” he laughed weakly, “I see you everywhere, whenever I see your favourite colour I see you. It’s been really windy in the city the past few weeks, Mom has these flowers growing out on the fire escape that sway around with the wind and I can’t help thinking of your hair and- gods that was embarrassing to say out loud” the sound of your joined gentle laughter was music to your ears. Your eyes meet properly since Percy sat down next to you, he looked tired and the thought made you frown. Had your silence done that? You felt a pit of guilt in your stomach.

Percy’s hand squeezing yours breaks you free from your mind.

“I can’t lose you” you whispered “I’m sorry if I ruined everything”

“you’ve ruined nothing. You could never ruin anything.” Percy countered, “I couldn’t sleep last night, I kept thinking of my life without you in it, and you know what’s crazy? I realised that I could never get over you if you left, I told you, I see you everywhere” Percy’s thumb had started to draw circles lazily on your night chilled skin, he was nervous. “can I hold you?”

you nodded instantly, the feel of his arms which were toned and scarred for years of training and battle fit snugly around you, his touch spreading a warmth through out your body that you missed. You head rested against his shoulder, nose brushing the side of his throat slightly. “I don’t want to just be friends anymore” Percy’s voice broke the silence and accompanied your pounding heart.

“me neither” you admitted

“let’s be best friends” his words earn him a bucket of laughter from you, you missed the way you felt when you were with him.

“best friends forever?” you replied jokingly, looking up at him and trying not to focus on how close your faces were

his lips press gently against yours and it only lasts a second, he pulls away slightly before you push up and kiss him again, his smile against your lips melts away all the months of insecurity that had plagued you.

“forever”

a/n: so ik i lied and said i had this ready like 3 months ago but yall school really kicked my ass so i literally haven't written in MONTHS, also this is not proof read so if it makes no sense then damn. hope yous have been keeping well!! so happy to finally have the summer to write more.

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