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[perniciousparaphernalia]

Do saber tooth tigers like mustard

Last night I had this super weird dream and I just remember that someone had invented a hotdog that already had ketchup inside and everyone thought it was great but then people started to argue that it discriminated against people who like mustard and this radical faction was known as the "condimentalists" but they were all killed by a saber tooth tiger who liked Dijon so

Update 2023: I found this in my drafts from who knows how long ago. I have no recollection of writing this. I have no recollection of this dream. I am perplexed but more than a little intrigued. What happened? Did the condimentalists gain equality in a ketchup-dominated world? Why did the Dijon-loving saber tooth tiger kill its fellow mustard-lovers? So many questions but I do t have the answers.

Update 2024: This draft pops up whenever I open Tumblr. I am haunted by it. I have no idea what this original draft is from but my friend convinced me to post this for closure.

[ghostofexogol]

howdy and here's my personal tros rewrite

- armitage joins poe and finn on the falcon, they hide him/drop him on a planet he asked to go or something

- ben doesn't die! they basically share energy until both of them are stable [but way beat up]

- also.. say goodbye to that right leg. below the knee amputation time. [with a prosthetic]

- so he starts living on the base. people are weary because like. "that's kylo ren". but, it's not. rey helps him bc hes in a wheelchair at first.

- uh so he gets that leg. also hux finally makes it back, millicent and bb-9e in tow. [don't ask how, i just wanted to have them in the fic..]

- BEN SOLO IS FRIENDS WITH D-0.

- poe and finn make a very cute awkward couple.

- someone said rose and ben would get along. [i agree.]

..that's all i've planned but i'll like. reply as i make more of it. trying to fill the gap between the party and tatooine with adventures.

[tonystarkstan]

The plot of Far From Home would be ten times funnier if the whole class knew Peter was Spider-Man and just collectively decided to humor the poor boy (and Ned).

Peter: Look at the baby goats!

His classmates, already knowing there are no baby goats: Here we go again, let’s get our acting faces on.

-

Betty: What’s this version of Spider-Man called?

Ned: Uhhhhh..... Night Monkey.

Betty, inwardly: God, they’re just so bad at this.

-

Brad: Don’t you guys find it suspicious that Peter is always disappearing?

The class: Yes and we know why, but we don’t want to crush him. He thinks he’s doing well.

-

Student 1, texting in their group chat: He didn’t bother taking off his book bag when he went out as Spider-Man.

Student 2: He’s.... he’s wearing the same clothes. Does he really think that little mask is hiding anything?

Student 3: Shhh, he’s Trying His Best.

[tonystarkstan]

The plot of Far From Home would be ten times funnier if the whole class knew Peter was Spider-Man and just collectively decided to humor the poor boy (and Ned).

Peter: Look at the baby goats!

His classmates, already knowing there are no baby goats: Here we go again, let’s get our acting faces on.

-

Betty: What’s this version of Spider-Man called?

Ned: Uhhhhh..... Night Monkey.

Betty, inwardly: God, they’re just so bad at this.

-

Brad: Don’t you guys find it suspicious that Peter is always disappearing?

The class: Yes and we know why, but we don’t want to crush him. He thinks he’s doing well.

-

Student 1, texting in their group chat: He didn’t bother taking off his book bag when he went out as Spider-Man.

Student 2: He’s.... he’s wearing the same clothes. Does he really think that little mask is hiding anything?

Student 3: Shhh, he’s Trying His Best.

[chris-evans]

Oh my GOD

[chris-evans]

This is so in character.. I CAN’T EVEN

[unsureavenger]

Tony: I’m sorry, he’s been like this for a while now.

Bucky:

Steve, in the distance: I’m an ameriCAN, not an ameriCAN’T.

Bucky, knowing how Steve lied to the US army 6 times: You amerishouldn’t.

[chronicowboy]

scott: our relationship with ants is weird and unfair

scott: the ants are just like "we want your crumbs"

scott: and we're like " we just want you to die"

scott: bruce gave me a whole taco when i dropped mine

scott: everyone should treat ants like bruce treats antman

peter parker:

[keybladesoras]

A PURE SCENE!

[phil-the-stone-art]

its what they deserve <3

[ririsasy]

We need to give it to Team Titan for the most dramatic™ entrance ever in Endgame.

[hanaamara]

[thwiprose]

i love them…… i really do

[bangtanballistics]

[arguablysomaya]

Peter: I just realized the Five Stages of Grief - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance - spell out DABDA and I feel like this is important information.

Tony:

Peter: Sometimes you just need to DAB DA grief away.

Tony: Never fucking speak to me again.

[yuoling]

Love you 3000

[thwiprose]

mj’s always there to fix up peter and talk to him after battles ❤️